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Hee ! Papa i coming ; behold that bright eye; 
II anna were but winj-a how swiftly th-y d fly 



MARRIAGE AND HOME ; 

OR, 

PROPOSAL ANB ESPOUSAL, 



A CHRISTIAN TREATISE 

ON THE 

MOST SACRED REL/TIONS TO MORTALS KNOWN 



MARRIAGE 
HOME 

YOUTH, BACHELORS, LOVERS, HUSBANDS, WIVES 
PARENTS AND CHILDREN. 



A GUIDE TO OCR SONS AND DAUGHTERS 

A COUNSELLOR TO PARENTS. 



COMPILED AND WRITTEN 

BY A CLERGYMAN. 



BRADLEY, GARRETSON & CO., 

BRANTFORD, ONT., PORT ADELAIDE AND MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA 

1888. 



Lntered according to Act of Parliament of Canada, in the year one 

thousand, eight hundred and eighty-eight, by T. S.Linscott, 

in the office of the Minister of Agriculture. 



Pratt of Watt & Stonston. Brantford. 





r- P 




COPYRIGHT, 1886. 




("Publishers (preface. 




HE publication of a book on this subject has been con 
templated for years, and the present volume is now 
completed, and offered to the public with the same 
hopes and motives of which the conception was born 
, f .^ that the book will have a large sale, be read by thousands 
r$p who contemplate the marriage relation, as well as those 
who have consummated it ; that its mission will be to do good, to 
furnish entertainment, to give instruction upon a subject not often 
attempted in books ; in short, to enthrone in the hearts of its readers 
a proper respect and reverence for the holiest relations of human 
beings, the relations suggested by the words, love, courtship and 
marriage. 

The natural relation of young men and women embraced in the 
term courtship, it is feared, is more often thought and spoken of 
with feelings of mirth and jest, than otherwise. How often has 
the unmarried reader heard this subject discussed with seriousness? 
How often read in our current literature good and wholesome advice 
on the subject, or, for that matter, an attempt at it ? Has he ever 
heard a sermon on this theme from his pastor, or has the good man 
ever dared to speak of it in his pastoral visitations ? He has in 
quired about your health, your spiritual welfare and worldly pros- 



Vi PREPACK. 

pcrity ; but the subject which occupies most of your thoughts, and 
which more nearly concerns your present and future happiness than 
any other, he does not touch ; and, if he does, he has unusual cour 
age and wisdom. Parents, as a rule, do not attempt to give advice 
to their marriageable children on this subject until it is too late, 
and if one has the temerity to ask advice, he is often laughed at 
or snubbed. 

What books are there on our centre tables, or in our libraries, 
to which the young may have access, wherein they may get solid 
and pure counsel to regulate the emotions that find a place in the 
hearts of all who arc worthy to be called human ? " Love is blind." 
it is said, and there is but little effort made to get off the bandages. 

Our sons and daughters receive careful instruction and training 
on other matters we do not leave them to chance, to blind nature, 
to circumstances why should we do so in a matter with which 
their destinies arc associated ? 

There arc no more serious or holier relations than lover, wife 
mother ; or lover, husband, father ; there arc no relations of more 
practical importance to the Church and the State, and we insist no 
one of them is a subject for neglect, much less of jest ; but on the 
contrary, should be regarded by young and old with the profound- 
est and most serious of feelings, and the duties, laws, and conditions 
of each state should be persistently studied. 

Why should it provoke a smile to propose the establishment of 
chairs in our ladies colleges for the study of matrimony? What 
lesson of more practical or philosophical importance could a young 
man study in the university, than how to choose a wife, and how 
to treat her afterwards ? What study could possibly have a greater 
fascination for young men and women than the study of the phil 
osophy of love ? What philosophy presents greater difficulties to 
be mastered, facts to be explained, or problems to be solved ? 
Where are there more subtle influences to be fathomed, or complex 
laws to be elucidated ? The study of this subject would surely 



PREFACE. Vf! 

serve the double purpose to the, student of mental gymnastics, 
giving the mind a vigorous training, enabling it to grapple with 
the profoundest of subjects, and what is even of greater importance, 
impart knowledge that can be used to great prnctical purpose in 
the journey of life. 

Is it too strong to state that a man s wise or foolish love will 
have a greater effect upon his career than anything else ? We 
think not, and therefore firmly believe it is the duty of parents, 
ministers, and all other educators, to impart to the rising generation 
as much knowledge as they may be able on this subject. Many a 
noble life has been blighted through ignorance of the nature of this 
emotion, that might have been saved if such books as the present 
volume had been freely circulated, and if more attention had been 
given this subject by those who have the training of our boys and 
girls. 

It is the earnest wish of the publishers that this book will to 
some extent accomplish the good work they have designed for it. 
and yet be but the forerunner of other books on this same theme 
that shall more nearly approach their ideal than this volume docs. 

Those who expect to find in these pages anything to minister to 
prurient tastes will be mistaken. The writer of this preface, who 
is a father, has sought to furnish such a book as he would wish his 
own sons and daughters to read, and, at the same time, a book to 
be helpful and entertaining to parents. 

THE PUBLISHERS. 






HAT orator was pronounced guilty of an Hibernianism 
who, on rising to address an audience, said, " I will say 
a few words before I begin ;" he being only second in 
,-^~=^ proverbial "bull-making" to him who, on purchasing 
; ~ a pair of new boots, and finding them too small, declared, as 
+& he threw himself back in his chair, " I shall have to wear 
them two or three days before I can get them on." Now, we are 
free to confess that, in this crisis of our history, we are in sympathy 
with both these individuals ; for we, too, would like to say a few 
words explanatory, if not apologetically before we commence 
the main subject of this somewhat unique and adventurous volume ; 
and also, somehow or other, test the public s opinion and accept 
ance of the same before it is offered for their purchase a clear 
impossibility ! We certainly walk softly at this juncture, and feel 
our unexplored way as delicately as did the gentlewoman of whom 
we have heard, who, being reduced in circumstances, and driven from 
a state of affluence to the stern necessity of selling lucifer matches 
for a living, pursued her humble avocation with much doubt and 
misgiving, and after every fluttering attempt at crying her petty 



:: PREFACE 

wares, she shrank back within herself, and cowcringly exclaimed : 
" Oh ! I hope nobody will hear me." 

Before opening our " contents " we would fain bow to the critics 
fwho stand without, waiting at every corner of literary communi 
cation, and with ubiquitous and argus-cyed observation keep the 
scribal world in awe), and inform them that we have made no at 
tempt at being profound. Believing, with a heathen sage, that 
" wisdom (of a certain kind at least) at proper times is well forgot," 
we have written with great plainness of speech. " All truth is 
simple," and precept, to be obeyed, must, like prescription or direc 
tion, be written, as it were, " on tables, that he may run that readeth 
it," or, as we sometime misquote, "that he who runs may rcad,"- 
likc one that passes a guide-post or mile-stone in his course, who 
can at a glance take in the meaning of the pronounced inscription, 
even without slacking his running speed therefor. 

We have written a " running hand/ if we may venture a pun 
on that chirographical phrase, and trust that we have not left our 
intent obscure, or our meaning at all indistinct ; but have striven to 
profit by the sage, though quaint advice, administered early in our 
pupilage, " Make your ideas to stand out like rabbit s ears, so that 
the hearers may get hold of them." 

And if we have sometimes just for variety s sake, turned aside 
to kindred subjects as indicated on the Title Page we hope that 
we have not gone wholly astray, nor so far out of our way, as to 
divert the mind from the main topics of discussion, but rather have 
a:tcdthepart of the preacher Bramwell, who, according to one 
authority, did not sufficiently stick to his text," and was charged 
with wandering from his subject. " Yes," said another, " he docs 
most delightfully wander from the subject to the heart" 
Our wanderings, which we confess are not few, are, we flatter our- 
self, after the same benign fashion. 

These pages attempt to mingle the instructive with the enter 
taining, and the entertaining with the edifying, and herein our 



PREFACE. 



thoughts have gone up and down now Godward and now man- 
ward, now in the direction of earthly loves and now in that of 
heavenly or divine affections, with something of the celerity, if not 
the majesty and felicity, of Jacob s visioned angels on the shining 
Bethel ladder, as raptly seen by the heaven-dreaming patriarch, 
"ascending and descending on it." 

We are informed by the Apocrypha that the manna in the 
wilderness suited itself to every man s taste and desire. So that, 
according to this statement, every person throughout the camp, 
irrespective of age, sex or condition, would enjoy not only a profit 
able, but a palatable meal We cannot, of course, expect any such 
miraculous and phenomenally-gratifying results to attend our 
attempt at furnishing mental or moral aliment to the million, but 
we have striven, nevertheless, to provide viands of all sorts, and 
from every clime, to satisfy, if possible, each legitimate taste, and 
to nourish and strengthen every pure and holy desire. 

And, we may observe, that something more than stale joke and 
piquant current jest are needed on the great and grave subjects of 
" Love, Courtship and Marriage," and of man s duty with regard to 
the same. 

The region of the heart is a vital one, whether considered physi 
cally, morally or spiritually, and to tamper with human affections 
in the infinitely varied and sacred relations of the present life, is to 
simply play the part of Solomon s madman, who "casts firebrands, 
arrows and death, and then says, Am not I in sport ?" And, alas ! 
that we find on these matters men are everywhere shunning the 
right way, and (( walking in a way which is not good." God s best 
earthly gift to man, and the greatest paradise treasure even, is in 
many cases rigorously ignored, or ruthlessly and positively spurned 
as a thing of no practical benefit, and men, growing unmanly in 
shirking the burden of domestic responsibility, are leaving one-fifth 
of the marriageable fair to lead a lonesome and comparatively 
inutile, unproductive life, as they lie like gloves that have lost their 



XII PREFACE. 

mates, on the shelf of non-appropriation. Let the candid and gen 
erous youth of our hind remember that no man liveth to himself, 
and no man dieth unto himself. One single life compels another 
of the like kind, somewhere. Every voluntary celibate means also 
an involuntary one of the opposite sex. All unsupporting men 
leave an equal number of unsupported women. And woman was 
made for man, and not for herself; she being but a " help meet or 
fit for him." She is the weaker vessel, and should be honored by 
grateful recognition and delightful protection. " Two are better 
than one" to fight the oattlcs of life a fact proved by the follow 
ing striking, yea, startling statistics, which we earnestly submit to 
the celibate s perusal : 

44 According to M. Lagneau, the well-known statistician, there 
is a lower rate of mortality among bachelors under twenty-two 
years of age than among married men. Above that age the con 
trary is observed, and married men live longer than bachelors. 
Among bachclcrs 38 per 1,000 arc criminals, among married men 
iS per 1,000." 

Thus it will be seen that bachelors outnumber the " benedicts " 
so called by over two to one in our prisons, galleys and places 
of penal retribution. Men that refuse to be transported by the 
pleasures of a wife, and love, and home, arc the more frequently 
transported at the pleasure of the State. 

And yet with these truths before us we find that such is the 
growing aversion to matrimony on the part of our progressive 
youths in this advancing (?) age, that no less than two millions of 
celibates are found in France alone, and that the French legislature, 
to encourage matrimony and the raising of large families, have 
adopted a law which provides for the free education and board of 
every fifth child. 

Many men and women remain unmarried, not because the op 
portunity is lacking of making an eligible choice, but, rather, 



PREFACE. Xlll 

because the "chances" are too numerous, and the commonness of 
the blessing in this, as in many other things, leads to its rejection. 

Fable tells ot a certain animal, not remarkable for its sagacity, 
which stood hesitating between two mounds of hay until it starved 
to death ; and we remember the story of a somewhat unpracticecl 
sportsman taking frequent aim at a flight of birds without ever 
discharging his gun, and excusing his strange conduct to a remon 
strating friend by saying, " Why, I no sooner take aim at one than 
another gets in its place." The sapient and uncertain celibate can, 
of course, make the application. 

In this introduction to our book, we would introduce the un 
married reader to Divine Wisdom herself, who, in the many-tongued 
Proverbs, yearns over the sons of men with more than motherly 
solicitude, as she bids them to be wise in time, to make early pro 
vision for the future ; to trust in the Lord with all their heart, and 
lean not to their own understanding ; to drink waters out of their 
own cistern, and running waters out of their own brook ; to marry 
early, or in other words, to rejoice with the wife of their youth ; 
and also urging them to a speedy compliance, and pressing them 
to an immediate issue, yea, hastening their footsteps (as the angel 
the lingering Lot s, having him up and out early, even before sun 
rise, and laying hold upon his hand, and upon the hand of his wife, 
and upon the hands of his two daughters, and bringing them forth 
and setting them without the city), as she says : 

" Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with 
a merry heart ; for God now accepteth thy works. Live joyfully 
with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity 
which he hath given thee under the sun, for that is thy portion in 
this life, and in thy labor which thou takest under the sun." 
For how shall a young man cleanse his way, 
But by taking heed, as the Scriptures say, 
To the Word of God, which will guide his feet 
To the path of life, " Youth s Guide Complete." 



XIV PREFACE. 

And, now, having met the reader thus in the porch of the Pre 
face, and given him the clue to the labyrinth of our good intent, we 
would kindly invite him to pass into the house and make himself 
at home ; believing, as we do, that : 

The preface of a book like a porch should be, 

Affording ready passage to a dwelling fair, 
The author being the porter, who benignantly 

Extends to all a welcome who would enter there. 

The pages turn, like leaves of folding doors, to rooms 
Prepared and ready furnished, of various form and size ; 

Or like gardens giving forth, from their incense-breathing blooms, 
Delectable perfumery, upwafting to the skies. 

While the poems are the bells, which with many changes ring 
Responsive at your pleasure, whene er you bid them play ; 

Or like minstrels in a tower, or like birds that blithely sing, 
Where fruitful trees rejoice, or glad fountains toss their spray. 

Their golden feet glide onward, as the rhyming measures flow, 
Like wings that twinkle sunward, or like doves that " homing " go, 
While the Index points their numbers, and the head-lines lead the 

way ; 
But ere the verse encumbers we will, brief, conclude our lay. 

Yours philanthropically, 

THE AUTHOR. 







iSg 

^ 

l.jOVE All originally from God, as all fire from the sun- 
Love s eyes Coyness Dreams Vagaries Love and 
flowers Roses Lilies Love and nightingales Love 
{^ and the telephone Love s glamour " False Lights "- 

Love and Latin Love and gifts Love and knowledge 
Pairing season Love to betrothed Love s young dream Died 
to prove his love Love the measure of the man Forbidden love. 
BACHELORS. Meaning of name Increasing Shall they be 
taxed Taught by nature The bachelor among his dumb friends 
Amiable Wise Beau Celibates and Celibacy The ascetic and 
apostolic celibates Celibates for Christ s sake Building a home- 
Homeless John Howard Payne Advantages of wedlock. 

MAIDENS OR SPINSTERS Characteristic Famous Good 
daughters make the best wives Disposing of Brown s daughters 
and matrimonial methods. 

MATCH-MAKING The light to choose by Loving equals- 
Marriage a lottery Stylish living Marrying for love A friendly 
warning. 

PROPOSAL Every man original in love-making How the 
Karenns propose The Indians Why may not women propose ? 
Embarassrnent in proposing. 



16 CONTENTS. 

BETROTHAL Jewish Grecian Modern By lot Coming of 
ageEarly betrothal In England France Canada Hindostan 
Dispensed with. 

ESPOUSAL Human - - Divine - - Description of metaphoric 
bridegroom and bride Christ and the Church Marriage felicities- 
Wedded oneness Devotion Woman man s best helper A better 
half bringing better quarters. 

THE UNEQUAL YOKE Thistle and cedar Vulture and dove- 
Birds, beasts, reptiles, and insects avoiding the same Mercy and 
Mr. Brisk Forbidden alike by both law and gospel Cainites and 
Scthites Cain s wife The land of Nod Cain s mark Unrequited 
affection Indifference Beauty and the Beast The unhallowed 
yoke. 

Rl N( ;s Origin, design and use thereof Ring money Why the 
ring is placed on the fourth finger Spurious engagement rings. 

THE WEDDING SHOE Of ancient and modern times. 
WEDDINGS The honeymoon Husbands and wives \Vrong 
beginnings in married life Driving gently over the stones I low 
wine becomes sour Quarrels, pleasant and foolish The marriage 
bond, dowry and song Nuptials, meaning thereof The wife a 
sister Half-sisters. 

MARRIAGE CUSTOMS Marriage in strange places Eccentric 
bridegrooms Wedding presents Bridal outfit Presenting hair 
at marriage Embroidered hair long hair Short hair Samson s. 
KISSING Philosophy of Love s kisses Universal Formal- 
Patriarchal Ecclesiastical Political. 

BEAUTY. Beauties English American Rabbinical Apcc- 
ryphal Traditional Scriptural Use of Alluring. 
MARRIAGE ETIQUETTE. 
(See fourteen page Index for full contents.) 





EGIN we this Look where all things began with God ; 
yea, with God in Christ, who is our beginning " the 
beginning of the creation of God." He is before all 
things (not he was before all things, but he is before 
all things), and by him all things consist. 

All fire, says science, came originally from that fount 
of flame, the sun, and all tends upward again as if seeking its primal 
source. Though burning at second hand in grosser flame from 
coal, and wood, and various oils, and diverse inflammable sub 
stances, where it is, so to speak, " bottled up " for perpetual use, yet 
all these things have been touched with the solar finger and made, 
primarily, hot from that central source of heat, the orb of day- 
" For there is nothing hid from the heat thereof." 

So all life is, directly or indirectly, from the "fountain of life," 
and all pure love is mediately or immediately from the very heart 
of God. Love is Jehovah s only passion name, and twice John 
mentions it in one chapter " God is love." 

It is the voice of wisdom in the Apocrypha love ! " I am the 
mother of fair love and fear and knowledge and holy hope. I 
therefore being eternal am given to all my children which are 
named of him, i. e. chosen of him. * * I n three 

things I was beautiful and stood up beautiful before God and man, 
the unity of brethren ; the love of neighbors ; a man and his wife 
that agree together." 

*2 17 



|8 . PROPOSAL ANIJ ESPOUSAL. 

Yea, love is the first lesson of Wisdom s school the very spirit 
and controlling genius of her divine institutions. " 1 love them," 
she says, " that love me, and they that seek me early shall find me. 
All them that hate me love death." 

Blessed school of the heart or soul where love is the principal 
thereof, and also the principal thing taught therein ! 

Ye children then hasten and come to Christ s school, 

Where Wisdom your teacher shall be ; 
Her lessons are pleasant and kind is her rule, 
" 1 love them," she saith, " that love me " 

"Receive my instruction," she cries, "and not gold, 

Obey my commandments and live ; 
My precepts shall guide you in youth, and when old 
I a good understanding will give." 

Her " house " is before you ; go, knock at the door, 

And it shall be opened to you ; 
O, wait at her portals and wander no more, 

Her counsels are faithful and true. 

If we can only persuade men to love aright the great work of 
life is accomplished. Man will always go whither his love directs, 
whether rightly or wrongly, be it observed. We would seek to 
guide the reader, therefore, in "the way of His precepts," and 
instruct him to love only what is lovely, and what will assist him 
in the best enterprises and associations of the soul. We would 
admonish him, then, to " keep his heart with all diligence, for out 
of it are the issues of life ;" and how is a house to be kept or 
guarded but at the entrance or avenues leading thereto ? So how 
can the heart be preserved except at the senses ? " The five 
senses," says Adams, " are the cinque ports where all the traffic of 
the devil is taken in." Here temptation chiefly presents itself, 
and here man needs to set a double guard to prevent unlawful 
intrusion. 



LOVE. jr) 

The senses God has given 

Arc inlets to the soul, 
.Fair doors that ope to heaven, 

Or yield to sin s control. 

And Good and Evil seek 

For mutual entrance there, 
Yea, constant watch they keep, 

Man s sympathies to share. 

Dark fiends hold earthly court 

In unbelieving breast 
Sin s hold, " the strong man s " fort ! 

" My house," he cries hell s rest. 
Go, summon heavenly force, 

Lest they thy soul should win 
Keep guard : nought lurks so close 

As thy besetting sin. 

" He that stands sentry here keeps his castle safe, preserves the 
purity of his soul, maintains his virgin innocence, and truly enjoys 
himself. This it was that made the virgins cover their faces with 
veils, that they might neither tempt others with their beauty, nor 
be tempted with the comely looks of their spectators ; this made 
the world take notice of the holy looks of Christians, and observe 
how with their lives and conversation the motions of their eyes and 
all their gestures changed." 

Hence it is that the Greeks, in order to punish sin at the portal 
where it chiefly entered, put out the eyes of the criminally lascivi 
ous. Zaleucus, the lawgiver of the Locrians, executed this law in 
a remarkable manner on his own son, " mitigating the sentence and 
redeeming one of his son s eyes by another of his own, so at once 
becoming a memorable example of justice and mercy." 

If, as the Scriptures say, some men s eyes are full of this particu 
lar kind of sin, what need there is of watching these watchers of 



20 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

the body, and of looking after these lookers on the meretricious and 
ever-tempting forbidden. 

If Job found it necessary to make a covenant with his eyes that 
he might not think of another than his own fair partner, so let 
every man in his early life devote himself to one alone, and not 
continue to live at all hazard and peradventure ; but pray the 
prayer, rather, " turn away mine eyes from beholding vanity." For 
though " the wise man s eyes are in his head, the fool s are in the 
ends of the earth," and better is the sight of the eyes than the wan 
dering of the desire, literally, " the walking of the soul." 

"It is most true that eyes are made to serve 

The inward light, and that the heavenly part 
Ought to be a king ; from whose rules who do swerve 
Rebels to nature, strive for their own smart." 

Their eyes but met and then were turned aside ; 

It was enough ! that mystic eloquence, 

L nheard, yet visible, is deeply felt, 

And tells what else were incommunicable. Derosi^" 

"The darts of love, like lightning, wound within, 
And. though they pierce it, never hurt the skin ; 
They leave no marks behind them where they fly, 
Though thro the tendercst part of all, the eye." 

" O the eye s eloquence, 

(Twin-born with thought) outstrips the tardy voice 
Far swifter than the nimble lightning s flash, 
The sluggish thunder peal that follows it." 

Man has preeminence above the beast not only in being possessed 
of a soul, or an immortal principle, but also in having an extra 
muscle to his eye, a fifth, fine cord, to roll it upward, called by the 
ancients the heaven-string, and it is a fact that such string, cord or 
muscle, lay useless in Nebuchadnezzar all the time that a beast s 



LOVE. 

heart was given unto him ; for, saith he, in speaking of his recovery 
to man s estate, " And at the end of the days I lifted up mine eyes 
unto heaven, and mine understanding returned unto me, and I 
blessed the most high that liveth forever and ever." 

" Behold Plato s man," said one, as he threw down before his 
students a chicken stripped of its feathers, to show that something 
more was needed than the possession of two legs to make the biped 
we call " man." 

" Behold a hieroglyphical man," we would say, as we present 
him after the early fashion of picture writing, thus OMO. Breathe 
on the initial letter and you have homo (man). The two <? s stand 
for the eyes, and the ;;/ for the rest of the face. 

Even as Dante, in describing the gaunt face of a starved man, 

says : 

* * "Who reads the name 

For man upon his forehead there, the m 
Had traced most closely." 

"That region of the face, which includes the eyebrows, eyes and 
nose, also includes the chief region of the will and understanding." 

" The eyes, considered only as tangible objects, are, by their 
very forms, the windows of the soul the fountains of life and 
light." 

" The images of our secret agitations are particularly painted in 
the eyes, which appertain more to the soul than any other organ ; 
which seem affected by and to participate in all its emotions ; ex 
press sensations the most lively, passions the most tumultuous, feel 
ings the most delightful, and sentiments the most delicate." 

"Let thine eyes, then," O man, "look right forward, and thine 
eyelids straight on." The dove, whose name rhymes with love, has 
but one mate, but she has ever that one, and she loves till death. 
So the purity and faithfulness of the Church, and of Christ himself, 
are compared to this bird. "Thou ^ast dove s eyes within thy 



22 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

locks." " His eyes are like the eyes of the doves by the rivers of 
water." 

The question was once asked, which was the most beautiful 
eyes, and the answer came direct and appropriate, " The eyes of 
compassion or love." So 

Love s eyes are dove s eyes, beside the crystal river ; 
Love s eyes are dove s eyes, that sweetly beam forever ; 
Love s eyes are dove s eyes, so constant meek and pure ; 
Love s eyes are dove s eyes, in rocky dwelling, sure ; 
Love s eyes are dove s eyes, that seek the quiet bower ; 
Love s eyes are dove s eyes fair innocence their dower ; 
Love s eyes are dove s eyes, beside the crystal river ; 
Love s eyes are dove s eyes, that sweetly beam forever. 

Pericles, when Sophocles showed him an extraordinary beauty, 
and seemed pleased with it, said, " it is not enough to keep clean 
hands, oh, Sophocles, but you must keep your eyes clean, too." 

And well does the judicious Hooker exclaim : "Shall we suffer 
sin and vanity to drop in at our eyes, and at our ears, at every 
corner of our bodies and of our souls, knowing that we are the 
temples of the Holy Ghost ? Which of you receiveth a guest whom 
he honoreth, or whom he loveth, and doth not sweep his cham 
ber against his coming ? And shall we suffer the chamber of 
our hearts and consciences to be full of vomiting, full of filth, full 
of garbage, knowing that Christ hath said, " I and my father will 
come and dwell with you ?" 

Bacon, with a depth of penetration peculiar to his own philo 
sophical mind, has not lost sight of the power of sigJit itself, but 
says : 

" The affections, no doubt, do make the spirits more powerful 
and active, and especially those affections which draw the spirits 
into the eyes ; which arc two, love and envy, which is called oculus 
mains. As for love, the Platonists (some of them) go so far as to 



LOVE. 23 

hold that the spirit of the lover doth pass into the spirit of the 
person loved, which causeth the desire of return into the body 
whence it was emitted. Whereupon followeth that appetite of con 
tract and conjunction which is in lovers. And it is observed, like 
wise, that the aspects that procure love are not gazings, but sudden 
glancings and dartings of the eye. As for envy, that emitteth some 
malign and poisonous spirits, which taketh hold of the spirit of 
another; and is likewise of greatest force when the cast of the eye 
is oblique." 

Let us then begin all things with God, and "set the Lord 
always before our face," singing with the best of our Christian 
poets : 

Him first ; Him last ; Him midst and without end. Milton. 

From Thee begin, dwell all on Thee, with 

Thee conclude my song, and let me never, never stray from Thee. 
Thompson. 

As also saith St. Paul : " For of Him, and to Him, and through 
Him, are all things, to whom be glory forever. Amen." 

For as there is love in truth (gospel truth especially), so there 
is truth in love ; and truth must have the first place in all our affec 
tions, pursuits and actions, even as the heathen themselves did 
acknowledge and teach. 

Hereby you shall know whether I write in earnest or not ; for 
when I write in earnest I begin my letter with one God, and when 
I write not in earnest I do begin my letter in the name of many 
gods. Plato. 

Before all things we must affirm that there is one God, and that 
this God governeth all. and hath providence over all. Epictetus. 

But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar 
off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins. James. 

Anoint thine eyes with eye-salve that thou mayest see. 
Revelation. 



PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

" Pure, sweet, serene, 

The light of heaven in her eyes, 
She moved about our lower earth, 

Oft bringing a glad surprise 
To others who found their daily lives 

Only dull cankering care ; 
For one of God s angels seem to stoop 

In their homely tasks to share. 

Bright wings she wore, 

But folded out of our sight ; 
To serve in lowly, simple ways 

Was sweeter to her than flight. 
But ever she welcomed with ear attent 

Voices from heaven still and small, 
Till gladly her spirit upward sped 

At her loving Father s call." 

Ye are stars of the night, ye are gems of the morn, 
Ye are dewdrops whose lustre illumines the thorn ; 
And ray less that night is, that morning unblest 
Where no beam in your eye lights up peace in our breast. 

"O eyes, which do the spheres of beauty move, 

Whose beams be joys, whose joys all virtues be ; 
Who, \\hile they make love conquer, conquer love ; 

The schools where Venus hath learned chastity. 
O eyes, where humble looks most glorious prove, 

Only loved tyrants, just in cruelty ; - 
Do not, O do not, from poor me remove, 

Keep still my zenith, ever shine on me ! 
For though I never see them, but straightways 

My life forgets to nourish languished sprites ; 
Yet still on me, O eyes, dart down your rays I 

And if from majesty of sacred lights 



LOVE. 25 

Oppressing mortal sense my death proceed, 
Wreck s triumphs be which love high set doth breed." 

"Magic, wonder-beaming eye ; 
In thy narrow circle lie 
All our varied hopes and fears, 
Sportive smiles and graceful tears ; 
Eager wishes, wild alarms, 
Rapid feelings, potent charms, 
Wit and genius, taste and sense, 
Lend through thee their influence. 
Honest index of the soul, 
Nobly scorning all control ; 
Silent language ever flowing, 
Every secret thought avowing, 
Pleasure s seat, love s favorite throne, 
Every triumph is thy own " 

"They say the brunettes are arch coquettes, 

That they break the hearts that love them, 
But that eyes of blue are tender and true 
As the sky that bends above them. 

Ah ! but you will find love is color-blind, 
And he comes with as little warning" 

o 

To hearts that lie back of eyes that are black 
As of those that are blue as the morning. 

So all the coquettes are not the brunettes, 

Nor the maidens with golden tresses ; 
There are those unto whom love never has come 

With his kisses and caresses." 

N. Y. Mail and Express. 

Oh ! o er the eye Death most exerts his might, 

And hurls the spirit from her throne of light. Byron. 







LOVE HKTTER THAN LATIN. 




NE pleasant evening in summer I sat talking with a 
mother, who held upon her lap a restless, teasing child. 
I spoke hopefully of the future, and chanced to touch 
upon my future course of study. She wearily replied : 
" The time was when I, too, looked forward to the 
future, my whole aim being to study Latin ; but I gave it up, 
for what drudgery. O, I was foolish." " No, no, mamma," said 
the little sprite. " Not foolish, for if you had studied Latin you 
wouldn t had me now." Sweet comforter ! The mother drew the 
little one to her bosom, saying : " True, darling, you are better than 
Latin." How I longed for every complaining mother of the land 
to witness with me this little scene ; each one to hear the child s 
rebuke. 

LOVE BETTER THAN KNOWLEDGE. 



" Knowledge puffeth up, but charity edifieth," i. e. buildcth up. 
Charity envieth not ; charity vauntcth not itself, is not puffed 
up. Paul. 

LOVE BETTER THAN GIFTS. 



But covet earnestly the best gifts : and yet shew I unto you a 
more excellent way. 

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and 
have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling 
cymbal. 

And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all 
mysteries, and all knowledge ; and though I have all faith, so that 
I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. 

26 




Ah ! where did baby start from, 
And how far has he come ? 
What angel-bright conductor 
Did guide him to our home ? 



LOVE. 

And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though 
I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me 
nothing. 

Charity never faileth : but whether there be prophecies, they 
shall fail ; whether there be tongues, they shall cease ; whether there 
be knowledge, it shall vanish away. 

Follow after charity, and desire spiritual gifts. Ibid. 



LOVE THE GREATEST COMFORT. 

If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort 
of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies. 

Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be like-minded, having the same love, 
being of one accord, of one mind. 

LOVE, ITS EXPULSIVE POWER. 



Such is the power of that sweet passion, 

That it all sordid baseness doth expel, 

And the refined mind doth newly fashion 

Unto a fairer form, which now doth dwell 

In his high thought, and would itself excel; 

Which he, beholding still with constant sight, 

Admires the mirror of so heavenly light. Spenser. 

LOVE S HOLY INFLUENCE. 

By love s delightful influence the attack of ill-humour is resisted, 
the violence of our passions abated, the bitter cup of affliction 
sweetened, all the injuries of the world alleviated, and the sweetest 
flowers plentifully strewed along the most thorny paths of life. 



28 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Tis love combined with guilt alone, that melts 

The soften d soul to cowardice and sloth ; 

But virtuous passions prompt the great resolve, 

And fan the slumbering spark of heavenly fire. Johnson. 



LOVE A GIANT POWER. 



Love is such a giant power that it seems to gather strength 
from obstruction, and at every difficulty rises to higher might. It 
is all dominent all conquering ; a great leveller which can bring 
down to its own universal line of equalization the proudest heights, 
and remove the stubbornest impediments. There is no hope of 
resisting it, for it outwatches watch submerges everything, acquir 
ing strength as it proceeds ; ever growing, nay, growing out of 
itself. Xeivton. 

Love ! what a volume in a word ! an ocean in a tear ! 
A seventh heaven in a glance ! a whirlwind in a sigh ! 
The lightning in a touch a millennium in a moment ! 
What concentrated joy, or woe, in bless d or blighted love ! 

Tupper- 

LOVE S YOKE EASY. 

Life without love s a load, and time stands still ; 
What we refuse to him, to death we give ; 
And then, then only, when we love, we live. Congreve. 
Almighty love ! what wonders are not thine 
Soon as thy influence breaths upon the soul, 
By thee, the haughty bend the suppliant knee- 
By thee, the hand of avarice is open d 
Into profusion ; by thy power, the heart 
Of cruelty is melted into softness ; 
The rude grow tender, and the fearful bold. Paterson. 



LOVE. 29 

Like the fabled lamp in the sepulchre, thou sheddest thy pure 
light in the human heart, when everything around thee there is 
dead for ever ! Carleton. 



ADAM S IMPRESSIONS ON SEEING EVE. 



When Adam is introduced by Milton, describing Eve in para 
dise, and relating to an angel the impressions he felt on seeing her 
at her first creation, he does not represent her like a Grecian 
Venus by her shape, or features, but by the lustre of her mind 
which shone in them, and gave them their power of charming : 
"Grace was in all her steps, heaven in her eye, 
In every gesture dignity and love." 



LOVE S ECSTASY. 



Oh ! speak the joy, ye whom the sudden tear 

Surprises often, while you look around, 

And nothing strikes your eye but sights of bliss ; 

All various natures pressing on the heart. 

An elegant sufficiency, content, 

Retirement, rural quiet, friendship, books, 

Ease and alternate labour, useful life, 

Progressive virtue, and approving heaven ; 

Those are the matchless joys of virtuous love. Thomson. 



LOVE S FLAME THE PUREST. 



Affection lights a purer flame 
Than ever blazed by art. Cowper. 



O, Love is of God," it is said by the saint, 
Who leaned on Immanuel s breast ; 



3 PROPOSAL AND KSI OUSAL. 

When love waxeth cold, then the heart groweth faint, 

And man is a mourner unblest 
Love is the dwelling of spirits new-born ; 

Yea, love is the home of the soul : 
And only the reprobate treat it with scorn, 

For love makes the wounded heart whole. 



LOVE S ALACRITY. 



Love brooks no restriction, and is impatient of delay. It is 
ever "on time," and anticipates the sun, saying as in David " Mine 
eyes prevent the dawning of the day." It sets the clock forward, 
and would fain do the same with lagging opportunity. It is alert, 
eager, watchful, as it cries in the Psalms, "Thou holdest mine eyes 
waking," and exclaims with the spouse in the " Song of Songs,/ " I 
sleep, but my heart wakcth." It counts the days, hours, minutes, 
seconds. It invents no excuses, for it needeth none. It sees, hears, 
moves! It has the eye of a lynx, the ear of a mole; it sleeps 
like a deer, and wakes like a bird agile, thoughful, tuneful, hope 
ful, glowing, mighty love ! 

Make haste, my beloved, and be thou like to a roe, or to a 
young hart on the mountains of Bether. Canticles. 

It is the voice of my beloved, behold he comcth leaping upon 
the mountains, skipping upon the hills. Ibid. 

And the young man deferred not to do the thing, because he 
had delight in Jacob s daughter : and he was more honorable than 
all the house of his father. Bible. 

Then said she, Sit still, my daughter, until thou know how the 
matter will fall : for the man will not be in rest until he have fin 
ished the thing this day. Ruth. 

And there was set meat before him to eat ; but he said, I will not 
eat until I have told mine errand. And he said, speak on. Genesis. 

The king s business rcquireth haste. Bible. 






LOVE. 31 

Send Ipigcnia quickly forth with me, 
Hymen is .now propitious, all things wait 
To grace the solemn gladness of this day ; 
The holy water s ready, with the cakes, 
To cast upon the fire, the calves are brought, 
Whose blood in grateful vapors must arise, 
T atone the breach of chaste Diana s rites. 

- Potter s Antiquities. 

"Tis love that makes our cheerful feet 
In swift obedience move." 



And they ran and returned as the appearance of a flash of 
lightning. Ezekiel. 

O love ! O love ! tis love dat moved de mighty God ; 
O love ! O love ! tis love dat died for me : 
O love ! O love ! tis love dat drives my chariot wheels ; 
O love ! O love ! and death must yield to love. 

Tis love dat sot me free, 

Tis love dat died for me ! Stanza of Negro Melody. 



PAIRING SEASON. 

Now tis nought 

But restless hurry thro the busy air, 
Beat by unnumber d wings. The swallow sweeps 
The slimy pool, to build his hanging house 
Intent. And often, from the careless back 
Of herds and flocks a thousand tugging bills 
Pluck hair and wool ; and oft, when unobserv d 
Steal from the barn a straw : still soft and warm, 
Clean and complete, their habitation grows. Thompson. 




LOVE AS A MARSHALL. 




iND Jacob lifted up his eyes, and looked, and, behold, 
Esau came, and with him four hundred men. And he 
divided the children unto Leah, and unto Rachel, and 
unto the two handmaids. 

And he put the handmaids and their children fore 
most, and Leah and her children after, and Rachel and Joseph 
hindermost. 

And he passed over before them, and bowed himself to the 
ground seven times, until he came near to his brother. 

And Esau ran to meet him, and embraced him, and fell on his 
neck and kissed him : and they wept. 

And he lifted up his eyes, and saw the women and the children, 
and said, Who are those with thee ? And he. said, The children 
which God hath graciously given thy servant. 

Then the handmaidens came near, they and their children, and 
they bowed themselves. 

And Leah also with her children came near, and bowed them 
selves : and after came Joseph near and Rachel, and they bowed 
themselves. 

And he said, What meanest thou by all this drove which I met? 
And he said, These are to find grace in the sight of my lord. 

And Esau said, I have enough, my brother ; keep what thou 
hast unto thyself. 

And Jacob said, Nay, I pray thce, if now I have found grace in 
thy sight, then receive my present at my hand : for therefore I 



LOVE. 33 

have seen thy face, as though I had seen the face of God, and thou 
wast pleased with me. 

Take, I pray thee, my blessing which is brought thee ; because 
God hath dealt graciously with me, and because I have enough. 
And he urged him, and he took it. 

And he said, Let us take our journey, and let us go, and I will 
go before thee. 

And he said unto him, My lord knoweth that the children are 
tender, and the flocks and herds with young are with me : and if 
men should overdrive them one day all the flocks will die. 

Let my lord, I pray thee, pass over before his servant : and I 
will lead on softly, according as the cattle thatgoeth before me and 
the children be able to endure, until I come unto my lord unto Seir. 



See the tact displayed by Jacob in this unwonted emergency. 
Behold how he places the dearest the nearest to his person, and 
how Rachel and her children move close beside him in the proces 
sion of the great, kindred caravan. How suggestive of the blessed, 
comforting text : " The beloved of the Lord shall dwell in safety by 
Him, and He will cover him with His hand all the day long." And 
though God is no respecter of persons, yet he has ever had those to 
whom He showed special regard, for He that readeth the heart 
knoweth who is most worthy. Peter, James and John stood fore 
most in the Redeemer s esteem, and subsequent events proved to 
the church and the world the correctness of the Saviour s choice 
They are the chiefest of the Twelve in their usefulness. See Peter 
at Pentecost ; see John at the cross, and read James scathing re 
proof to the pride of the primal Christian congregations. These 
are almost the only men of the Twelve that have written epistles 
or letters to the churches ; and though Peter followed Jesus afar off 
(as it is written of him), yet he did follow, which is more than is 
declared of many of the rest, who all forsook him and fled 



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LOVE AS A CHARIOTEER. 






. 



Ds 

EVER I was aware (I knew nothing) my soul made 
me like the chariots of Amminadab. Canticles. 

I ran as swift as the nobles of my people in their 
chariots. Marginal Reading. 

Then she saddled an ass, and said to her servant 
Drive, and go forward ; slack not thy riding for me, except I bid 
thee. 

"SLACK NOT THY RIDING EXCEPT I P.ID THEE." 

"Whate cr may chance us on the way, 
Whoe er may wish our course to stay, 

Thy riding do not slack ; 
For salutations now no time, 
To pause were little less than crime, 

Be lightness driven back. 

Our cause demands the utmost haste, 
A life is lost if time we waste, 

Thy riding do not slack :" 
That Shunnamite, my soul, is thee, 
Thou rid st the Truth ; Alacrity 

The lad that holds not back. 

A thousand ills may thee beset, 
Obstruction block thy pathway, ye?, 
Thy riding do not slack ; 



LOVE. 35 

The God, who bids thee forward go, 
Will lay proud opposition low, 

And drive the oppressor back. 

God s arm directed David s stone, 
When he Goliah met, alone, 

Thy riding do not slack ; 
The Lord, a " man of war," is known, 
Philistia soon was overthrown, 

Dread Gath was driven baclv. 

See Gideon s troop, with trump and lamp, 
Surrounding sleeping Midian s camp : 

Thy riding do not slack ; 
The " pitchers " break the lights outflare ! 
A sound of " sword " and " God " in air, 

Hurls th alien armies back. 

See Jericho s high-standing wall, 
Her " Gammadim " in towers tall *. 

Thy riding do not slack ; 
The trumpeters go round and round 
One last, long blast it shakes the ground, 

The giant hosts fall back. 

No lion treads the " narrow way," 
No ravenous beast may thee waylay, 

Thy riding do not slack ; 
They roar and rage, but strong their chain, 
They fret themselves and howl in vain, 

Christ drives e en devils back. 



" Would you not be afraid to go to heaven as Elijah did ?" 
asked one of a little boy. " No," he replied, " not if God were 
the driver." 



t^K^-^H 3>3 




"DEVIL, J NEVER STUCK EAST YET;" 

OR SAMMY HICKS. 



MUEL HICKS was one of the men of " mighty faith" 
in the Lord, and as a preacher among the Methodists 
k^ of England, was eminent for his happy spirit, remark - 
5^ able trust, and unbounded liberality. 

At one time he attended a missionary meeting near 
Harrowgate. " \Vc had a blessed meeting," said Samuel, " I was very 
happy and gave all the money I had in my pocket." After the meet 
ing was concluded he mounted his horse to return home. No one 
had offered to pay his expenses he had not a farthing in his pocket. 
Advanced in life a slow rider, and not a very sprightly horse in 
the night alone twenty miles from home. Think of the lone- 
someness ; the time for the tempter to come and lead him to dis 
trust his Lord. But he struggled ; the trial was short, and the 
victory complete, for said he, " Devil, I never stuck fast yet" 

Just as he entered Harewood, a gentleman took his horse by 
the bridle, asked him where he had been, talked with him long, and 
to whom Samuel s talk was a wonderful consolation. Said Sammy : 
" I have not wanted for any good thing, and could always pray 
with Job, The Lord gave and the Lord takcth away, blessed be 
the name of the Lord. 

The gentleman asked, " Can you read ?" 
" Yes," returned Samuel. 

" Then," replied the gentleman, holding a piece of paper in his 
hand, which was rendered visible by the glimmering light of the 

36 



LOVE. 37 

stars, " there is a five-pound note for you. You love God and His 
cause, and I believe you will never want." 

And Sammy said, " I cried for joy. This was a fair salvation 
from the Lord. When I got home, I told my wife. She burst into 
tears, and we praised the Lord together, and he added : " You see, 
we never give to the Lord but he gives in return." Wonders of 
Prayer. 

DRIVE ON. 



" Drive on until the devil is driven out of the country," was the 
usual salutation extended to his itinerating brethren by one of 
America s most ardent Methodistic pioneers. Would that the in 
junction was more universally heeded by his successors. 

You all know the name of that great Welsh Baptist minister, 
Christmas Evans, and how gloriously he preached. He was accus 
tomed to spend much of his time in making evangelistic journeys 
from town to town, with his little pony and chaise ; and so, when 
he came to die, they gathered around the old man to listen to his 
last words, and after he had said some things about his Master, he 
began to dream, and the very last thing he said was, " Drive on, 
drive on." And somehow I thought it was a very good word to 
address to you, my brethren of the Baptist Union, and to you, my 
brethren of all Christian denominations. Drive on ! Drive on ! 
There is such a tendency to pull up to refresh such a tendency to 
get out of the gig and say, " What a wonderful horse ! Never saw 
a horse go over hill and dale like this horse the best horse that 
ever was ; real sound Methodist- or Baptist horse." Now, brother, 
admire your horse as you like, but drive on. I have known some 
to have often felt a sort of disposition to go back ; they have been 
afraid. " Philosophers tell us that the road is up ; we cannot go 



38 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

uiat way ;" but I say, Drive on, over philosophers and all. You will 
find, when you get to that desperately bad piece of road that they 
are always telling us of, that, after all, it has been improved by 
being broken up a little and being rolled down again at any rate 
drive on ! Oh, if there are any of you that have got to sitting still 
in your gig, admiring the scenery and counting over the souls that 
you have already brought in, drive on, brethren, do drive on. Your 
Lord and Master tells you to "go into all the world and preach the 
gospel to every creature ;" and you feel perfectly certain that you 
have obeyed that command because you have opened a little room 
three and a half miles from where you are ! There is more to be 
done, a great deal, than you have attempted, and much more than, 
if you have attempted it, you will be likely to accomplish drive 
on. $ fin r^con. 



TOO FAST DRIVING. 



Come and see my zeal for the Lord of Hosts. Jehu. 

The driving is like the driving of Jehu, the son of Nimshi, for 
he driveth furiously. Watchman on the City Wall. 

For I bear them record that they have a zeal of God, but not 
according to knowledge.. Paul. 

Be not right(/7/^)cous overmuch, why should jst thou destroy 
thyself. Solomon. 

Beware of driving too furiously at first setting out. Take the 
cool of the day. Begin as you can hold on. I knew a lady who, 
to prove herself perfect, ripped off her flounces and would not wear 
an ear-ring, a necklace, a ring, or an inch of lace. Ruffles were 
Babylonish, a ribbon was carnal ; and yet under all this parade of 
outside humility, the fair ascetic was but I forbear to particularize, 
suffice it to say, that she was a conceited antinomian. Toplady. 



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LOVE S COYNESS. 




is the embodiment of Shelley s poetical " Echoes," 
going flying on, ever on, but still crying, Follow, 
follow." It is the dusky maiden, mounted on her 
Barbary steed, that (seemingly) hastens her escape 
from her pursuing lover, but halts to be caught, and 
would not for the world distance her pursuer. It is the " fox 
that feigns sleep to catch the chickens." It is the Spanish friar 
that says, "I don t want it; I don t want it, but drop it into my 
hat." Yea, it is Solomon s shrewd buyer, who voiceth, "It is naught, 
it is naught, but when he is gone away then he boasteth." So is 
it, so has it ever been, and so will it be, so " long as the grass grows 
and water runs." 



I find she loves him much, because she hides it. 

Love teaches cunning even to innocence ; 

And, when he gets possession, his first work 

Is to dig deep within a heart, and there 

Lie hid, and, like a miser in the dark, 

To feast a4one. Dryden. 



"Love me, love, but breathe it low, 

Soft as summer weather ; 
If you love me, tell me so, 

As we sit together. 
Sweet and still as roses blow 
Love me, love me, but breathe it low. 

39 



4O PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Words for others, storm and snow, 
Wind and changeful weather 

Let the shallow waters flow 
Foaming on together ; 

Hut love is still and deep, and O ! 

Love me, love, but breathe it low." 



The girls of Italy, who know how often this artifice is employed 
in affairs of love, have a ready retort against sarcastic young gen 
tlemen in the adage, " He that finds fault would fain buy." 



" The sweetest grapes hang highest." 

" I Ic that lacks (disparages) my mare would buy my mare." 

1 Sour grapes, said the fox when he could not reach them." 

" Tho figs on the far side of the hedge are sweetest." 

Kvcry fish that escapes appears greater than it is." 

* Far awav fuwl have fair feathers." 



She wad vote the border knight, 
Though she would vote her love ; 
For far-off fowls hae feathers fair, 
And fools o chancre are fair. Burns. 



" She lookit at the moon, but lichit i the midden." 

It is recorded of a celebrated beauty, Becky Monteith, that 
being asked how she had not made a good marriage, she replied : 
" Ye see, I wadna hae the walkers and the riders gaed by." Ram 
say s Reminiscences. 



LOVE. 41 

Though the laws of propriety are so rigorously strict in Mexico 
that a gentleman may not ride in the same carriage with the lady 
to whom he is betrothed, yet most desperate flirtations are openly 
indulged in to an extent which would put to blush New York, 
Chicago or San Francisco. Following a senorita up and down the 
promenade, and staring intently in her face is an accepted mode of 
compliment gratifying to the recipient, but fraught with danger to 
the adorer if she happens to have other devoted swains, and it not 
unfrequently happens that duels are the result, she being pre-emi 
nently the belle who can boast the greatest number of such 
encounters. 

A romantic love story is at present going the rounds of the 
Italian papers. In 1881, a young merchant in Boulogne fell in 
love with a beautiful girl, who reciprocated his feelings. But the 
young man was so absurdly jealous that the girl concluded the only 
way to make him more reasonable would be to break the engage 
ment, and keep him at a distance for a while. But this only in 
creased his passion, and one day, after being again refused, he 
pulled out a revolver and shot her. The shot was not fatal, but the 
girl was ill for a long time, while her lover was sentenced to twelve 
years imprisonment. Recently the girl has been visiting the pris 
oner, and the other day she informed her parents that she had made 
up her mind to marry her lover, notwithstanding all that had hap 
pened, and in prison. The ceremony was performed without op 
position, and a petition is now in circulation to secure a pardon for 
tnc young merchant. 



LOVE S YOUNG DREAM. 




OW men love dreams especially \vo-vien. How, sur 
rounded by the halo of romance, many of our young 
sisters dream away in useless reverie, their invaluable 
lives : 

"As idle as a painted ship, 
Upon a painted ocean." 

And between night dreams and day dreams there is little left 
for the hours of purposeful waking. But the waking comes at last, 
however much deferred, and however much the charmed victims of 
beguiling sloth may fold their arms for a season of more prolonged 
and beguiling slumber, and pleading cry : 

"If this be a dream, let me sleep on, 
And do not wake me yet." 

Every dream must be broken. " Error has no future." Fancy 
is ephemeral a mere, dancing day-fly. Imagination, that irre 
pressible high-flyer, must come down from his visionary altitudes, 
and his phantasmagoric ascensions. 

Icarus wings of wax will melt as he approaches the sun of 
meridian (or mid-life) truth. Fact, stern fact, iron, inexorable, aye, 
inevitable fact, awaits us all. And woe to the soul who is not pre 
pared to meet it. And (both as it regards this present and the 
future life) : 

"Truth known too late is hell." Young. 

42 




Tiiere s nothing halt so sweet m life as Love s young dream, 



LOVE. 43 

Casting down imaginations is one of the mighty offices of the 
Holy Spirit in these " last times." And where is the youthful soul 
that is not too much committed to the wild wings of a " vain im 
agination ?" All evil begins there in the image making faculty 
of the soul. That is man s idol manufactory his false-god shop. 

They set up their idols in their hearts, and the stumbling block 
of iniquity before their face, and shall I be enquired of by them.- 
Ezekiel. 

But the emotion of youthful love, chaste in its virgin freshness, 
and beautiful in its primal and implicit trust, is a most glorious and 
enchanting thing ; almost justifying the poet s musical and hyper 
bolical expression : 

"There is nothing half so sweet in life as love s young dream." 

But, alas, like Ephraim s piety (as reproved by the prophet), 
"it is like the morning cloud, and as the early dew it goeth away." 
The morning cloud is golden or ambient, bright and fraught with 
sunlight" full with the glory of the day," and the early dew 
sparkles again with the gathering lustre brightning yet as the 
beams of the sun increase until at last it mirrors the face of the 
" king of day " in all his mounting splendor ; but the warm bright 
ness consumes it it dies in its own glory " it goeth away." 
with young love, it is too fair, too sweet, too pure and delectable, 
too ethereal for earthly continuance, and we join with another poet 

in exclaiming : 

" Love ! oh young love, 

Why hast thou not security ?" 

Oh ! how this spring of love resembleth 
The uncertain glory of an April day ! 
Which now shows all the beauty of the sun, 

And by-and-by a cloud takes all away. Shakespeare. 
Yes, young love resembles an April day, Where we find " shadow 
and sunshine intermingling quick." 



44 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

A FACT. 

Miss Fanny, in a dream, 
Was heard distinct to say. 

"True Courtship is life s cream. 
And love will find its way." 

They listening, gathered round, 
And said, " What is t you say ?" 

Out flew on wings of sound, 
"Sure, love will find its way." 

O, pleasant was that dream, 

It was the first of May : 
Well launched on life s young stream, 
Her countenance a-bcam, 

Said, " Love will find its way." 

And blest that happy youth, 
Who hears, his heart to stay, 

From Fanny s lips, the truth, 
" To you love finds its way." 



"Bright is the froth of an eastern wave, 

As it plays in the sun s last glow ; 
i/We is the pearl in its crystal bed, 

Gemming the worlds below ; 
Warm is the heart that mingles its blood 

In the red tide of Glory s stream ; 
But more flashingly bright, more pure, more warm, 

Is Love s first dream. 

Hope paints the vision with hues of her own, 

In all the colors of Spring, 
While the young lip breathes like a dewy rose 

Fanned by the fire-fly s wing. 



LOVE. 

Tis a fairy scene, where the fond soul roves, 
Exulting in passion s warm beam ; 

Ah, sad tis to think we should wake with a chill, 
From * Love s first dream. 

But it fades like the rainbow s brilliant arch, 

Scattered by clouds and wind ; 
Leaving the spirit, unrobed of light, 

In darkness and tears behind. 
When mortals look back on the heartfelt woes, 

They have met with in life s rough stream, 
That sight is oft deepest which memory gives 

To Love s first dream. " 



There was a time, fond girl, when you 

Were partial to caresses : 
Before your graceful figure grew 

Too tall for ankle dresses ; 
\Vhen " Keys and Pillows," and the rest 

Of sentimental pastimes, 
Were thought to be the very best 

Amusement out of class-times. 

You wore your nut-brown hair in curls 

That reached beyond your bodice, 
Quite in the style of other girls 

But you I thought a goddess ! 
I wrote you letters, long and short> 

How many there s no telling ! 
Imagination was my forte! 

I can t say that of spelling 

We shared our sticks of chewing-gum, 
Our precious bits of candy ; 



45 



PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Together solved the knotty sum, 

And learned the ars amandi. 
Whene er you wept, a woful lump 

Stuck in my throat, delayed there ! 
My sympathetic heart would jump 

I wondered how it stayed there ! 

We meet to-day we meet, alas ! 

With salutation formal ; 
I m in the college senior class, 

You study at the Normal. 
And as \ve part, I think again, 

And sadly wonder whether 
You wish, as I, we loved as when 

We sat at school together ! Century Bric-Brac. 



BELIEVE ME. 
Believe me, if all those endearing young charms, 

Which I gaze on so fondly to-day, 
Were to change by to-morrow, and fleet in my arms, 

Like fairy gifts fading away ; 
Thou wouldst still be ador d, as this moment thou art, 

Let thy loveliness fade as it will, 
And around the dear ruins each wish of my heart 

Would entwine itself verdantly still. 

It is not while beauty and youth are thy own, 

And thy cheeks unprofaned by a tear, 
That the fervor and faith of a soul can be known, 

To which time will but make thee more dear. 
Oh ! the heart that has truly lov d, never forgets, 

And as truly loves on to the close ; 
As the sunflower turns on her god, when he sets, 

The same look which she turn d when he rose." 



LOVE. 47 



LOVE AND LOVE, 

"There s a love that only lives 

While the cheek is fresh and red ; 
There s a love that only thrives 

Where the pleasure-feast is spread 
It burneth sweet and strong, 

And it sings a merry theme, 
But the incense and the song 

Pass like flies upon the stream. 
It cometh with the ray, 

And it goeth with the cloud, 
And quite forgets to-day 

W T hat yesterday it vowed. 
Oh, Love ! Love ! Love ! 

Is an easy chain to wear 
When many idols meet our faith, 

And all we serve are fair. 

But there s a love that keeps 

A constant watch-fire .light ; 
W T ith a flame that never sleeps 

Through the longest winter night 
It is not always wise, 

And it is not always blest ; 
For it bringeth tearful eyes, 

And it loads a sighing breast. 
A fairer lot hath he 

Who loves awhile, then goes, 
Like the linnet from the tree, 

Or the wild bee from the rose. 
Oh, Love ! Love ! Love ! 

Soon makes the hair turn grey ; 
When only one fills all the heart, 

And that one s far away." 



4$ PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Love that has nothing but beauty to keep it in good health, is 
short lived, and subject to ague fits. Erasmus. 

As love without esteem is volatile and capricious, esteem with 
out love is languid and cold. Johnson. 

"Never forget our loves but always cling 
To the fixed hope that there will be a time 
When we can meet unfetter d and be blest 
With the full happiness of certain love." 



" Let conquerors boast 

Their fields of fame ; he, who in virtue, arms 
A young, warm spirit against beauty s charms, 
Who feels her brightness, yet defies her thrall, 
Is the best, bravest conqueror of them all." 



TIIK PROGRESS OF LIFE. 

"I dreamed I saw a little rosy child, 

With flaxen ringlets in a garden playing 
Now stopping here, and then afar off straying, 

As flower, or butterfly his feet beguiled. 

Tvvas changed. One summer s day I stcpt aside 

To let him pass ; his face and manhood seeming 

And that full eye of blue was fondly beaming 
On a fair maiden, whom he called, his Bride ! 

Once more ; twas autumn, and the cheerful fire 
I saw a group of youthful forms surrounding 
The rooms with harmless pleasantry resounding, 

And, in the midst, I marked the smiling Sire. 

The heavens were clouded ! and I heard the tone 

Of a slow moving bell the white haired man was gone." 



LOVE S VAGARIES. 




r , when this man had held his peace, the third of them, 
who was Zorobabel, began to instruct them about wo 
men, and about truth, who said thus : Wine is strong, 
as is the king also, whom all men obey, but women are 
superior to them in power ; for it was a woman that 
brought the king into the world ; and for those that plant the vines 
and make the wine, they are women who bear them, and bring 
them up ; nor, indeed, is there anything which we do not receive 
from them ; for these women weave garments for us, and our house 
hold affairs are by their means taken care of and preserved in 
safety. Nor can we live separate from women ; and when we have 
gotten a great deal of gold and silver, and any other thing that is 
of great value, and deserving regard, and see a beautiful woman, 
we leave all these things, and, with open mouth, fix our eyes upon 
her countenance, and are willing to forsake what we have, that we 
may enjoy her beauty, and procure it to ourselves. We also leave 
father and mother, and the earth that nourishes us, and frequently 
forget our dearest friends, for the sake of women ! Nay, we are so 
hardy as to lay down our lives for them ; but what will chiefly make 
you take notice of the strength of women is this as follows : Do not 
we take pains, and endure a great deal of trouble, and that both by 
land and sea, and when we have procured somewhat as the fruit of 
our labors, do we not bring them to the women, as to our mistresses, 
and bestow them upon them ? Nay, I once saw the king, who is 
lord of so many people, smitten on the face by Apame, the daugh- 



50 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

ter of Rabates Themasius, his concubine, and his diadem taken from 
him, and put upon her own head, while he bore it patiently ; and 
when she smiled, he smiled, and when she was angry, he was sad ; 
and according to the change of her passions, he flattered his wife, 
and drew her to reconciliation by the great humiliation of himself 
to her, if at an)- time he saw her displeased at him." 



LOVE VERSUS THE SHOTGUN. 

A lover, threatened with a shotgun, had to postpone his court 
ship, at Red Bend, Washington Territory, recently. It seems they 
have been having considerable trouble out there with their lady 
settlers. Every grown lady in the town was married or engaged, 
and there were over two hundred bachelors desiring to enter the 
married state. They were not able to keep a school teacher or a 
servant. Before they had been in the town a month they were 
married. One farmer, especially, had experienced annoyance from 
this cause. Every servant he engaged left him to be married as 
soon as she learned the ways of the household and was becoming 
useful. It was necessary, however, to have a servant, and he per 
severed. At last he became exasperated, and having secured a new 
servant, he resolved to keep off all lovers. She had not been there 
long before he noticed a young man slinking around his place, and 
seizing his shot gun, he went out. " What do you want here ?" he 
asked. " Nothing," said the fellow, coloring up a little ; " nothing 
much. I was just calling on the girl in there. She s an old 
friend of my family." "Well, I m a friend of your family, too," 
said the farmer, " to the extent that I don t want to kill you ; but 
if you don t keep away from here I ll murder you." The farmer s 
manner was so menacing that the young man went away. But a 
few days later the girl was missing, and the farmer learned that she 
and the young man had been married by the justice that morning. 
His opposition to the marriage, as the bride and her predecessors 
doubtless knew, was due to regard for his own inconvenience, into 



LOVE. 51 

which the question of their welfare did not enter ; and as they pre 
ferred marriage to a life of servitude, they did not consider him. 
It is a pity that sinners do not show the same resolution when they 
are urged to quit Satan s shameful service, with its dreadful wages, 
and defying his opposition, begin a life of union with Christ (Rom. 
vi. 22-23). Christian Herald. 



\ FAIR COMPLIMENT. 

Francis de Harley, Archbishop of Paris, under Louis XIV., was 
remarkably handsome, and affable in his manner. When he was 
appointed to his diocese, with several Duchesses, who waited upon 
him in a body to congratulate him, was the Duchess [of Mecklen- 
burgh, who addressed him in the following words : " Though the 
weakest, we are the most zealous portion of your flock." The Arch 
bishop answered, " I regard you as the fairest portion of it." The 
Duchess de Bouillon, who understood Latin, and was well read in 
Virgil, then repeated this line from that poet : 

"Formosa pecoris, custos formosior ipse." 
(Fair is the flock, the keeper fairer still.) 



JLORD tfOLINGBROKE S CHOICE. 

In Gay s time, there was a young creature, known to the world 
by no other title than Clara, who drew much attention at that time 
by the sweetness and pathos of her tones ; but her recommendation 
to particular notice was the circumstance of her being for many 
years the object of Bolingbroke s enthusiastic affection. The poor 
girl strayed for some time, during which his Lordship had not seen 
her ; it was after this interval, that meeting her, he addressed to 
her the following tender lines, beginning : 

"Dear, thoughtless Clara, to my verse attend, 
Believe for once the lover and the friend." 
And concluding thus : 



52 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

"To virtue thus, and to thyself restored 
By all admired, by one alone adored ; 
Be to thy Harry ever kind and true, 
And live for him who more than died for you." 

A series of calamities totally ruined her vocal powers, and she 
afterwards subsisted by the sale of oranges at the Court of Requests. 



DIED TO PROVE HIS LOVE. 

The woman whom a Swiss wooed was ten years his senior, and 
she had a fortune, while he was indigent. Under these circum 
stances she would not believe that his love was genuine, or his offer 
of marriage disinterested. In order to convince her, he committed 
suicide under her bedroom window. 



A BEESWAX MARRIAGE FEE. 

Many of the first settlers in Illinois were rude in speech and 
rough in manner. Money was scarce with them, and service was 
paid for in produce. 

Governor B -^uscd to illustrate these incidents of frontier 
life by the following anecdote : 

One day there came to his office a young man accompanied by 
a young woman. 

" Be you the squire?" asked the manly youth. 

11 Yes, sir." 

" Can you tie the knot for us right away ?" 

" Yes, sir." 

How much do you charge ?" 

" One dollar is the legal fee, sir." 

" Will you take your fee in beeswax ?" 

" Yes, if you can t pay cash." 

" Well, go ahead and tie the knot, and I ll fetch in the wax." 



LOVE. 53 

" No," said the squire, thinking there was a good chance for a 
little fun ; "bring in the beeswax first, and then I ll marry you." 

Reluctantly the youth went out to where was hitched the horse 
upon which, Darby and Joan fashion, they had ridden, and brought 
the wax in a sack. 

On being weighed, its value was found to be only sixty cents. 

"Wai," said the anxious groom, "tie the knot, and I ll fetch 
more wax next week." 

" No, sir, I don t trust ; that is against the rules of this office." 

Slowly the disappointed youth turned to go out, saying 

"Come, Sal, let s go." 

"I say, mister," answered Sal, with a woman s wit, "can t you 
marry us as far as the wax will go ?" 

" Yes, I can, and will," replied the squire, laughing, and he did. 



NOT A FAMILY MAN. 

A bachelor, at Sidney, Neb., answered a matrimonial adver 
tisement in an Omaha paper, a few days ago, requesting a photo 
graph. The lady replied, sending not only her own photograph, 
but those of her four children by her first husband as well. The 
correspondence stopped there. 



THE FICKLE KNIGHT. 
"Gallant and tall, and a soldier withal, 

Sir Harry goes courting the fair ; 
He has burnished his curls, and his white hand twirls 

Through the tresses, with tender care. 
He is whispering low, but don t let your hearts go : 

Maidens, just watch, and you ll see, 
That Sir Harry can smile, and mean nothing the while 

For a gay deceiver is he. 

Scout him and flout him, with pride and with scorn, 
For he ll sue you, and woo you, and leave you forlorn. 



54 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

He holds up his head, and tells of the dead 

And the wounded his beauty has left, 
Lightly he ll boast of the love smitten host 

By his charms of their peace bereft. 
Oh ! heave not a sigh at the blink of his eye, 

Though melting its beam may be ; 
He seeks to entrance your soul at a glance, 

But a gay deceiver is he. 

Scout him and flout him he worships a stone- 
For the image he dotes on is only his own. 

This gallant and gay Sir Harry, they say, 

Has reckoned his worth in gold ; 
Sir Harry is not to be given away, 

He s only a thing to be sold. 
Maidens, don t fret, though his whiskers of jci 

Right daintily trimmed may be ; 
Oh ! give him no part of a woman s warm heart, 

For a gay deceiver is he. 

Scout him and flout him with pride and with scorn, 
And leave him and his beauty to live forlorn. 




LOVE AND ROSES. 




Prince Albert, at the Royal levee, received from 
her Majesty : 1 own hand the rose, ..vhich marked her 
preference and sealed his betrothal, the happy Ger 
man Prince at once slit a hole in the breast of his 
splendid uniform, and inserted the star-like flower as 
near his heart as he could, while he thus stood the envy of all royal 
rivals. 

When yonng Alphonso, of Spain, was courting his present royal 
consort, he was in constant communication with her, and sent her 
every day some new and precious, and oftentimes surprising, love- 
token, equally exquisite and emblematical. On one occasion it 
was a brilliant rose (love s chosen emblem) on a golden stem, and 
ablaze with jewelled petals, with great ruby heart. At another 
time it was a casket containing a silver egg, and disclosing a golden 
yolk, and ravishingly unfolding a bright, blazing diamond the 
precious in the precious, and ever growing more beautiful and 
delightful. 

The Pope (if we understand rightly) gives a golden rose annu 
ally to any royal personage who happens, at the period of its 
bestowal, to be most in favor at the Vatican. 



THREE ROSES. 

Three roses, wan as moonlight, and weighed down 
Each with its loveliness, as with a crown, 
Drooped in a florist s window in a town. 



56 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

The first a lover bought. It lay at rest, 

Like flower on flower, that night, on Beauty s breast. 

The second rose, as virginal and fair, 
Shrunk in the tangles of a harlot s hair. 

The third a widow, with new grief made wild, 

Shut in the palm of her dead child. Thomas Bailey Aldi i 



WHAT THE FLOWERS SAY. 

The red rose says, " Be sweet," 

And the lily bids, " be pure," 
The hardy brave chrysanthemum, 

" Be patient and endure. 

The violet whispers, " Give, 

No grudge nor count the cost. 
The woodbine, " Keep on blossoming 

In spite of chill and frost." 

And so each gracious flower 

Hath each a separate word, 
Which read together, maketh 

The message of the Lord, Susan Ccolidge. 



JOY ROSES. 
"Pray call me a pretty name," said he, 

One night to his darling Carrie, 
The girl he had courted so long that she 

Thought he never meant to marry. 
Up from his bosom she raised her head, 

And her cheeks grew red as roses, 
" 1 think I will call you man, " she said, 
" For they say that man proposes. " 



LOVE. 57 

The rose in her cheeks is red to-night, 
Her eyes are filled with a tender light, 
And her heart brims over with happiness, 
For her lover s proposed, and she s answered " Yes." 



FATE AND THE ROSES. 

Roses gather but to wither, 
Odors blow in summer weather ; 
Wealth finds wings of migrant feather 
Pleasures fly like bloom from heather. 
Heaviness succeedeth laughter, 
Joy finds grief come quickly after ; 
Roll the years and what is left us ? 
Ruthless time has clean bereft us ; 
In Jesus, then, be thy chief treasure, 
Salvation knows nor time nor measure 



THE LAY OF DEATH. 

"I breathe in the face of a maiden, 
I kiss the soft mouth of a rose ; 
Yet not that I hate them, but love them, 

My black wings are spread forth above them. 
And round them my pinions enclose. 
I love them so well that they die, 
Yet my heart with their sorrow is laden, 
And sad with their cry. 

Yes, cruel my fate is and bitter, 

That all things that I love should decay, 
Though my fingers fall soft as the blossom 
I pluck, and would place in my bosom, 

The petals drop sadly away ; 

Even gold in my hand becomes rust, 
And no gems on my forehead will glitter, 

But change into dust. 



58 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Yet, oh Love ! thou art strong, I am stronger, 

Though thou shouldest strive, I p/cvail ; 
Thy footstep is fleet : mine is fleeter ; 
Thy kiss it is sweet : mine is sweeter ; 

I whisper the tender tale. 

O Love, thy dart pierces my wing ; 
Though thy reign may be long, mine is longer, 

Lo ! I am king !" 



THE TOMB AND THE ROSE. 

The tomb says to the rose above : 
"The tears wherewith the gloaming sprinkles 

What dost thou with them flower of love ?" 

The rose says to the tomb : " Tell me 
What thou dost with the many things that fall 
Into thy ever-gaping maw? Dull tomb, 

Those tears I transmute all, 
Honey and amber blending, to perfume, 

Amid the shade." " Sad plaintive flower," 
The tomb in turn replies : 
"I make each soul that comes within my power 

An angel for the skies." Victor Hugo. 

THE BITTEREST ROSES ; OR, ANOTHER S ROSE IS WORN. 

My bonds are fast, and time has done 

What time can ne er undo ; 
But though the chain may torture one 

It shall not fetter two. 

I ve loved thee long I love thce yet 

And blindly, fondly believed 
My earnest homage gladly met, 

And tenderly received. 



LOVE, 

I thought thy smue s most joyous beam 

Was kept for me alone, 
And dared to let my spirit dream 

Of calling thee its own. 

Thou vvert the first to hail and greet 
My presence with glad words, 

That came as blithely and as sweel 
As songs of morning birds. 

But now tis past the cup of bliss 

Has fallen from my lip, 
The soft dew of thy honeyed kiss 

Some happier one will sip. 



My flowers are lightly thrown aside 

Another s rose is worn, 
My proffered vow now shades thy brow 

With frown of silent scorn. 

I breathe farewell with aching breast 
My "Good night" still deferred ; 

But while thy hand by mine is pressed, 
No kindred pulse is stirred. 

My soul still pours its incense firfc 

Upon thy cherished name, 
But findeth not the altar spot 

Give back one ray of flame. 

I would not breathe into thy ear 

A murmur to reprove ; 
But why didst thou once call me " dear ?" 

Why didst thou seem to love ? 



60 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Why didst thou fling upon my way 

Hope s rosebuds of Life s morn, 
With rich perfume ; then crush the bloom, 

And leave but cloud and thorn ? 

It may be sport to thee, fair girl-; 

But promise, ere we part, 
Thou lt ne er again weld such a chain, 

Then spurn the captive heart. 

THE PLUCKED ROSE. 
She plucked a rose, and idly pulled 

The crimson leaves apart. 
1 whispered, " Tell me why it is 

That rose is like my heart." 
" What know I of your heart ?" said she, 
" Your riddle is too deep for me." 

" because my heart was full of hopes, 

As leaves upon your rose : 
You scatter them from day to day, 

As now you scatter those ; 
And soon my poor heart, stripped of all, 
Forgotten, as the rose, must fall." 

Ah! crimson cheeks and bashful eyes! 

My riddle was so plain ; 
She stooped and gathered from the ground 

The fragrant leaves again. 
" Ah, love !" I cried, " and can it be, 
Sweet hopes may yet return to me ?" 

THE LADY AND THE ROSE. 

Eastern fable tells of a lady who grew enamored of a beautiful 
rose, and she gazed with ceaseless longing on its surpassing loveli- 



LOVE. G I 

ness, and sighed and wept over its (to her) increasing charms ; and 
as she did so the glow of the flower stole into her own delicate 
face, and its exquisite odor perfumed her warm breath, and all its 
fragrance and its beauty became her own. That lady is the soul 
of man, that rose is the Rose of Sharon " Christ in the " Song 
of Loves." That gaze is the look of devotion earnest prayer. 
Those tears are the tears of penitence as she looks on Him whom 
she has pierced, and mourns for Him as one mourneth for his only 
son, and is in bitterness for Him, as one that is in bitterness for his 
first-born." 

The Hebrew mothers, it is said, had a common superstition that 
a child, by so constantly looking in the face of its nurse, gradually 
became like her in feature and disposition, and hence they (when 
practicable) chose the most comely of their sex for the guardian 
ship of their little ones. 

This is all true in the realm of the spirit, or in the kingdom of 
grace. " For we all, with open face beholding, as in a glass, (so 
very clear) the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same 
image, from glory to glory, as by the spirit of the Lord." 



Would you find the fairest flower 
That in earthly garden grows ? 

Lo ! it springs where wrath-clouds lower, 
Tis sweet Sharon s blooming rose. 

Would you smell the choicest odor, 
(Free to every wind that blows ?) 

See ! it grows on heaven s border, 
Tis the deathless Sharon s rose. 






LOVE AND LILIES. 



LILY-CUP was growing, where the streamlet tide was 

flowing, 

And rich with grace and beauty there it bent ; 
And passed the whole day long in dancing to the song, 

Which gurgling ripples murmured as they went. 
Though rush and weed were there, the place was fresh and fair, 

And wavelets kissed the lily s tender leaf ; 

The lily wooed the water, and drank the draught it brought her, 
And never wore a tint of blighting grief. 

A strong hand came and took the lily from the brook, 

And placed it in a painted vase of clay ; 
But, ah ! it might not be, and sad it was to see 

The suffering lily fade and pine away. 
The fountain drops of wealth ne er nursed it into health 

It never danced beneath the lighted dome ; 
But wofully it sighed for the streamlet s gushing tide, 

And drooped in pain to miss its far off home. 

Now human hearts, be true, and tell me, are not you 

Too often taken, like the gentle flower ; 
And do ye never grieve, when fortune bids yc leave 

Affection s life-stream for a gilded bower ? 
Oh ! many a one can look far back on some sweet brook 

That fed their soul bloom, fresh, and pure and shining ; 
And many a one will say, some painted vase of clay 

Has held their spirit, like the lily, pining." 

62 




She sits oh the shore of the summer sea, 
And waits in sweet expectancy; 
Though times may change and tide 1 may roll 
One thought alone absorbs her soul. 



LOVE. 63 

\VIIICII IS FAIREST. 

What s the fairest flower that blows ? 
Shall we say the crimson rose, 
With her passion and her pain, 
Drenched, for tears, in summer rain. 
Or, when sunlight fills her cup, 
Offering joy s incense up 
To the Beauty-giver high ? 
Crown her fairest ? Nay, not I. 

\Vhat, then, is the fairest flower ? 
Wild rose, blushing in her bower, 
Childhood s emblem fresh and free, 
Full of shy simplicity. 
Vanishing like childhood, too, 
Quickly as the morning dew 
When the hours lead on the day ? 
Do we hold her dearest ? Nay. 

Lilies from some woodland nook, 
Where but few e er come to look ? 
Golden bells that tell the hour, 
From their lofty steeple tower, 
For the fays among the ferns, 
Or upright with rose red urns, 
Type of mirth Arcadian, 
Dear unto the heart of Pan ? 

Nay, not ye, though fair ye are, 

Beauty s he ven a brighter star 

Holds enshrined. For purity 

Thou my saint and queen shalt be 

Water-lily, pure and strong, 

Clean from every thought of wrong, 

Half of earth and half of heaven, 

Unto thee the crown be given. Boston Transcript. 



LOVE AND NIGHTINGALES. 




^f^cIljPjlj^E were now arrived at Spring Garden, which is cxquis- 

O^-;^llIlW? 

itely pleasant at this time of year. When I considered 
the fragrance of the walks and bowers, with the choirs of 
birds that sung upon the trees, and the loose tribe of 
people that walked under their shades, I could not but 
look upon the place as a kind of Mahometan paradise. Sir Roger 
told me it put him in mind of a little coppice by his house in the 
country, which his chaplain used to call an aviary of nightingales. 
"You must understand," says the knight, "there is nothing in the 
world that pleases a man in love so much as your nightingale. Ah, 
Mr. Spectator ! the many moonlight nights that I have walked by 
myself, and thought on the widow by the music of the nightingale!" 
He here fetched a deep sigh, and was falling into a fit of musing, 
when a mask, who came behind him, gave him a gentle tap upon 
the shoulder, and asked him if he would drink a bottle of mead 
with her? But the knight, being startled at so unexpected fami - 
iarity, and displeased to be interrupted in his thoughts of the widow, 
told her she was a wanton baggage, and bid her go about her 
business. 

We concluded our walk with a glass of Burton ale and a slice 
of hung beef. When we had done eating ourselves, the knight 
called a waiter to him, and bid him carry the remainder to the 

waterman that had but one leg. I perceived the fellow stared upon 

61 



LOVE. 



him at the oddncss of the message, and was going to be saucy ; 

upon which I ratified the knight s commands with a peremptory 
look. 

As we were going out of the garden, my old friend, think 
ing himself obliged, as a member of the quorum, to animad 
vert upon the morals of the place, tolcl the mistress of the house, 
who sat at the bar, that he would be a better customer to her gar 
den, if there were more nightingales and fewer bad characters. 
Addison, in " Sir Roger de Coverly" 

Love, like the nightingale, is partial to the shade, 

And ever sings the sweetest beneath the silver moon, 
Her music wakes the silence in vale and lowly glade, 

And makes the gladdest echoes when night is at its noon. 
Love, like the nightingale, prefers to voice unseen, 

And comes into her garden to sing of one alone : 
The stars look down and listen, the dew-drops brightly glisten, 

And earth forgets her sadness, and sorrow stills her moan. 
Love, like the nightingale, brings summer on her wing, 

And waiteth for the twilight, with cooling airs and balm : 
And happy he that hears her she queen, and he is king 

His life is one glad anthem, and every sound a psalm. 




A 




FALSK LIGHTS. 



The night has a thousand eyes, 

The day but one ; 
Vet the light of a whole world dies, 

With the setting sun. 
The mind has a thousand eyes, 

The heart but one ; 
Vet the life of a whole life dies, 

When love is clone. 

casts such a glamour or meteor-glare over its object, 
1 that ii is next to impossible to see that object in its true 
*{*^k light, even as it is difficult to discern colors by artificial 
b: i brightness. Nay, in the vain brilliancy of this sentimcn- 
V (J ) " tal lustre, even defects themselves assume the semblance 
of beauties, and grave faults are brightened into excellent virtues. 
And the love-smitten maiden, of whom we have read, had at least 
the tender passion, if not more sober reason on her side, when being 
remonstrated with for marrying a man with but one leg, she replied, 
" I would not have a man with two legs, they are so common." 
And who can read the following lines without being amused at the 
wondrously transforming power of elective affinity, which can thus 
find an argument for its existence (with an additional embellish 
ment of song), in the blemish of a blind eyeball? 

Though a sable cloud benight 
One of thy fair twins of light, 
Vet the other brighter seems 
f6 



LOVE. 

As t had robbed its brother s beams, 
Or both lights to one were run 
Of two stars, now made one sun. 

Cunniner Archer ! who knows yet 

o J 

But thou wink st my heart to hit ! 
Close the other too, and all 
Thee the god of Love will call. 



AN EFFECT EFFACED. 

A barrister, named Lee, was famous for studying effect when 
he pleaded. On a circuit at Norwich, a brief was brought to him 
by the relatives of a woman for breach of promise of marriage. 
Lee inquired, among other particulars, whether the woman was 
handsome. " A most beautiful face," was the answer. Satisfied 
with this, he desired that she should be placed at the bar, imme 
diately in front of the jury. When he rose, he began a most 
pathetic and eloquent address, directing the attention of the jury 
to the charms which were placed in their view, and painting in 
glowing colors the guilt of the wretch who could injure so much 
beauty. When he perceived their feelings worked up to a proper 
pitch, he sat down, under the perfect conviction that he should ob 
tain a verdict. What, then, must have been his surprise, when the 
counsel retained by the opposite party rose and observed, " that it 
was impossible not to assent to the encomiums which his learned 
friend had lavished on the face of the plaintiff; but he had forgot 
ten to say she had a wooden leg^ This fact, of which Lee was by 
no means aware, was established, to his utter confu: ion. His elo 
quence was thrown away ; and the jury, who felt ashamed of the 
effect it had produced upon them, instantly gave a verdict against 
his client. 



68 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

ONE LEG AND BENEVOLENCE. 

" We were no sooner come to the Temple stairs, but we were 
surrounded with a crowd of watermen, offering their respective ser 
vices. Sir Roger, after having looked about him very attentively, 
spied one with a wooden leg, and immediately gave him orders to 
get his boat ready. As we were walking towards it, You must 
know, says Sir Roger, I never make use of anybody to row me 
that has not either lost a leg or an arm. I would rather bate him 
a few strokes of his oar than not employ an honest man that has 
been wounded in the Queen s service. If I was a lord or a bishop, 
and kept a barge, I would not put a fellow in my livery that had 
not a wooden leg. " Addison, in Sir Roger de Covcrly" 



LOVE S IDOLATRIES. 

Doubtless a great deal of love existing between the sexes is lit 
tle better than downright idolatry, being a positive breach of the 
first commandment. If not, why have we so many wrecks among 
us of love lorn humanity, of both sexes ? The affections having 
lost their sober poise, sometimes the intellect itself becomes de 
ranged, and the wits are lost along with the unbalanced moral nature. 
We should never so commit ourselves to the keeping or to the 
power of the creature, as to lose ou- chiefest hold of the Creator, 
This would then be the best corrective to our too-restive passions, 
and prevent the bitterness that must inevitably follow a disap 
pointed, inordinate desire. 







LOVE AND THE TELEPHONE. 




1872, Dr. Bell had a private school for deaf mutes in 
Boston. Among his pupils was Howard Glyndon. 
who is well known in literary circles. One clay, while 
this lady was walking, she noticed that whenever street 
cars were passing, and the muff in which her hands were 
placed was pressed against her body, she experienced 
peculiar vibrations. On informing Dr. Bell of her sensations, he 
constructed what he called a sound-box, having drum-shaped heads, 
which was to be worn in front, under the clothing. Dr. Bell ex 
perimented with sound boxes till he struck upon a new idea. This 
idea excited him very much, caused him to work sometimes all 
night, and at length resulted in the telephone. Dr. Bell now needed 
capital to push his idea. He was poor, having nothing but his sal 
ary as teacher. The way the Bell telephone became a success was 
due to causes wholly outside of its own merits. Gardiner Green 
Hubbard, of Cambridge, Mass., had a deaf-mute daughter at school 
in Germany. Becoming dissatisfied with her progress, he had her 
come home, and employed Dr. Bell to teach her. The young lady 
was very Movable, and Dr. Bell soon discovered that the feeling he 
he had for her was very different from the ordinary feeling existing 
between teacher and pupil. He felt compelled by honor to resign 
his position, which he did. But the mischief was done. The affec 
tion was mutual. At first the young lady s parents opposed the 
union, but when they found their daughter s happiness at stake they 
gracefully surrendered. Dr. Bell had won a charming wife, and 
obtained as father-in-law a wealthy business man. Gardiner Hub- 
bard had every inducement to push the telephone. From this time 

on it was a success. Chicago Tribune. 

69 



LOVE THE MEASURE OF THE MAN, 



My love is my weight.-- AUGUSTINE. 




measure and original of all passions is love ; and the 
object of love is that which is really or apparently 
good. If our love be right it regulates all our passions ; 
for discontent or impatience ariseth from the absence 
of somewhat that we love or value ; and, according to the 
% r measure of our love to the thing we want, such is the meas 
ure of our discontent or impatience under the want of it. 

He that sets his love upon that, which the more he loves, the 
more he enjoys, is sure to avoid the danger of discontent or impa 
tience, because he cannot want that which he loves ; and though 
he loves something else that may be lost, yet, under that loss, he 
is not obnoxious to much impatience or discontent, because he is 
sure to retain that which he most values or affects, which will an 
swer and supply lesser wants with a great advantage. The great 
est bent and portion of his love is laid out in what he is sure to 
enjoy ; and it is but a small portion of love that is left for the thing 
he is deprived of, and consequently his discontent but little, and 
cured with the fruition of a more valuable good. 

He that sets his love upon the creature, or any result from it, 
as honor, wealth, reputation, power, wife, children, friends, cannot 
possibly avoid discontent or impatience ; for they are mutable, un 
certain, unsatisfactory goods, subject to casualties ; and according 

70 



LOVE. 

to the measure of his love to them, is the measure of his discontent 
and impatience in the loss of them, or disappointment in them. 

He that sets his love upon God, the more he loves him, the 
more he enjoys of him. In other things, the greatest danger of 
disappointment, and consequently of impatience, is when he loves 
them best ; but the more love we bear to God the more love he 
returns to us, and communicates his goodness the more freely to 
us. Therefore we are certain that we cannot be disappointed, nor, 
consequently, have any ground of impatience or discontent, in that 
which is our unum magnum, the thing we chiefly value. 

He that sets his entirest love on God, yet hath a liberty to issue 
a subordinate portion of love to other good things, as health, peace, 
opportunities to do good ; wife, children, friends ; and in these he 
may be crossed and disappointed. But the predominant love of 
God delivers the soul from discontent and impatience, even under 
these losses. 

1. Because the soul is still assured of what it most values, the 
love of God returned to the soul, which compensates and drowns 
the other loss, and the discontent that may arise upon it. 

2. Because the heart is satisfied that these losses come from the 
hand of him whom he loves, of whose truth, wisdom, love and good 
ness, he hath assurance, and therefore will be delivered out in meas 
ure, upon most just grounds, and for most excellent ends. 
sends an instruction along with his rod, and the soul reads love as 
well in the rod of God as in his staff. 

3. Because the love of God, taking up the principal bent and 
strength of the soul, leaves but a gentle and moderate affection to 
the things it loseth, and consequently a gentle and easy parting 
with them, or being without them. The great tumult and disorder 
that is made in the mind upon the losses, crosses, or discontents, is 
not so much from the intrinsical value of the things themselves, but 
from the estimation that is put upon them ; were the love to them 
no more than they deserve, the discontent and impatience in the 



72 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

loss would be very little. Our chicfest iove, when it is placed upon 
God, is placed where it should be ; and the mind is then in its right 
frame and temper, and dispenseth its love toother things regularly, 
and orderly, and proportionably to their worth ; and thereby the 
discontent or trouble that ariscth upon their lessor disappointment, 
is weighed out according to their true value, agreeable to the just 
measure of reason and prudence : but when our love is out of its 
place, it becomes immoderate and disorderly ; and consequently, 
the discontents that arise upon disappointments in the things 
we immoderately love, become immoderate, exorbitant discontents, 
impatience, and perturbation of mind. 

4. Our love to God brings us to a free resignation of our will to 
his ; for we therefore love him, because we conclude him most wise, 
most bountiful, most merciful, most just, most perfect ; and there 
fore must of necessity conclude that his will is the best will, and fit 
to be the measure and rule of ours, and not ours of his ; and inas 
much as we conclude that no loss _or cross bcfals us without his 
will, we clo likewise conclude that it is most fit to be borne: and 
because he never wills anything, but upon most wise and just reas 
ons, we conclude that surely there arc such reasons in this dispen 
sation ; and we study, and search, and try whether we can spell out 
those reasons of his. Sir Matthew Hale. 



LOVES ESSENCE. 

To make love complete, two things are required, according to 
Aristotle s description of it. Affectus cordis and effect ns operis. The 
inward affection of the heart, and the outward manifestation of that 
affection by our deed, as occasion is offered, in being ready to our 
power to do him any good. The heart is the root of all true love, 
and we must begin here, or else all we do is but lost. Robert San 
derson (16^6.) 




DRY subject," suggests cne of our fair readers ; " very 
dry indeed ; almost dry enough to be dusty, in fact, and 
one which will tax the ingenuity of any writer to render 
in the least degree interesting. " Too true, gentle 
critic, and yet we trust it will be found not altogether 
devoid of general interest. If nothing else can relieve the unprom 
ising and barren topic, we will endeavor to make, at least, a chatty 
chapter ; and chat, after all, is the cheeriest part of writing or dis 
course. We intend to move through these pages in good company* 
and brin^- to the aid of our weaker voice some of the most power 
ful and convincing utterances of the present and the past, or of 
ancient and modern times. 

We would, therefore, introduce you at once t- the presence of 
these nobler spirits, whose counsels have (in some cases) for ages 
won upon the ears of the nations, and which are at once delightful 
and, I had almost said, oracular. 

Suffice it to say that the word "Bachelor" signifies an unmar 
ried man ; and " celibate " has the same signification, with a touch 
of additional dignity or smack of sacerdotalism ; both of which will 
however, be used indifferently in these pages. 

75 



. ^v^s^^^^^^^^^^ ^^ 




THE BACHELOR. 



^5 HAVE no wife nor children, good or bad, to provide 
for a mere spectator of other men s fortunes and ad 
ventures, and how they play their parts ; which, me- 
thinks, are diversely presented unto me, as from a 
common theatre or scene. Burton. 

There is in man s nature a secret inclination and motion 
towards the love of others, which, if it be not spent upon one or a 
few, doth naturally spread itself towards many, and maketh men 
become humane and charitable. Bacon. 



I would not waste my spring of youth 
In idle dallance ; I would plant rich seeds 
To blossom in my manhood, and bear fruit 
When I am old. Anon. 



"Averse to all the troubles of a wife, 
Wedlock he loathed, and led a single life ; 
But now when loving age his limbs had seized, 
Justly he wants whom he before despised ; 
He dies, and his remoter friends 
Share his possessions." 



And serve him right. 



76 



BACHELORS. 77 

I was ever of opinion, that the honest man who married and 
brought up a large family, did more service than he who continued 
single and only talked of a population. From this motive, I had 
scarcely taken orders a year before I began to think seriously of 
matrimony, and chose my wife, as she did her wedding gown, not 
for a fine glossy surface, but for such qualities as would wear well. 
Goldsmith. 



If "the woman be the glory ot the man," as St. Paul well states, 
where, let me ask, is his glory who has no wife to grace his years ? 
And if it be true that, " a virtuous woman is a crown to her hus 
band," is he not crownless who lives alone ? 



Pope was only twelve years of age when he wrote the verses of 
his first knoivn poem, containing the words : 

Then let me live unseen, unknown, 

Thus unlamented let me die 
Steal from the world, and not a stone 

Tell where I lie. 

He evidently thought better of it later on in life, and concluded 
that the world and he ought to live on more intimate terms, and 
also part better company. What need to steal from the world, if 
you have led an honest life in it ?. 



What sturdy common sense characterized the earlier ages of 
the world in this particular? Did any of the patriarchs or "fathers" 
of the sacred race live bachelors ? Did the antediluvians, any of 
them, remain single ? All the way down the genealogical tree, from 
Adam to Noah, no mention is made of a solitary case of bachelor 
hood ; but it is said of them in succession, that they lived so many 
"years, and begat sons and daughters." Genesis is as ignorant of 



78 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

celibacy as it is of protoplasm ; and the one had made the world 
just as soon as the other. Think for a moment what had been the 
result if any of Noah s sons had been unmarried ! Or if even but 
one of the heads of the twelve tribes had lived a single life ! In the 
former case there had been one whole race fewer in the human 
family, and in the latter case, one tribe wanting in Israel. 

Why even Cain, himself, counted accursed, dwelling in " the 
land of Nod," or Place of Wandering, restless as a " wild ass, used 
to the wilderness, the range of the mountains for her pasture, and 
she going searching after every green thing ;" Cain, according to his 
own testimony, "a fugitive and vagabond in the earth," (as one has 
said, a vagabond on his own territcry), he being driven from the 
pleasant, fruitful lands, called euphemistically, " the presence of the 
Lord," still found solace in the nuptial state ; took his consort with 
him, and called his son Enoch (rest), and builded a city, and called 
it after his son s name. If a murderer may find rest in the married 
life, who need despair ? 



Marriage is the best aid to quietude and good citizenship. 

Now, Nicanor abode in Jerusalem, and did no hurt, but sent 
away the people that came flocking unto him. And he would not 
willingly have Judas out of his sight, for he loved the man from his 
heart. He prayed him also to take a wife, and to beget children ; 
so he married, was quiet, and took part of this life (lived together 
with him;. Apoc. 

j@ua 

It is uncomfortable to want society, and unfit there should not 
be an increase of mankind, concerning which Plato has left these 
wonderful words : " This is the encouragement to marriage, not 
only that the human race may be perpetuated, but a man may 
leave children s children behind him when he is gone, to serve God 
in his stead." 



BACHELORS. 79 

" A help-meet " means fit for all the necessities and uses of lite, 
and one in whose society he shall take delight : the best company 
keeper, and not a mere hireling, as the Hebrew phrase as before 
him imports, being in every way answerable to him, fitted for him, 
not only in likeness of body, but of mind, disposition and affection, 
which laid the foundation of perpetual familiarity and friendship. 
She shall always be ready to observe and serve him, as to " stand 
before any one," in the Hebrew language, signifies to do whatever 
is desired. 

His heart is a harp out of tune, 

Who, with woman created to bless him, 

Ungrateful refuses the boon, 

Nor seeks tender love to caress him. 

Had Adam dealt Eve such disdain, 
When God the first consort provided, 

The race had been made but in vain, 
And the doom of creation decided. 

Adopt, man, the course that is best, 

Undreaming of marital trouble ; 
One bird never yet built a nest," 

And all life in the ark was saved double 



__-- 




SHALL BACHELORS BE TAXED? 



HERE is a proposition on foot in several of the Eastern 
States to have laws passed taxing bachelors a certain 
sum each year. The object is two-fold, to raise money 
*rom a non-producing class of citizens, and to place bach 
elors under a ban, and show them that their manner of 
living, with no object in vic\v, is not believed to be of value 
to a community. There are two sides to all questions, 
and we do not know which side to take, and consequently 
we will, as usual, straddle the fence. Bachelors, who are such from 
choice, will fight it out on that line, and claim that they had rather 
oay a reasonable tax, or even an exorbitant tax, than to marry. 
They will illustrate their position by pointing to thousands of mar 
ried men who would be willing to pay their last dollar in taxes, if 
they could be placed back in the ranks of bachelors. 

The bachelors will show that on the average they are happier, 
and more free from care, and enjoy themselves better than the 
average married man, and on that ground they ought to be willing 
to pay a tax. They will show that bachelors are, as a rule, rotund 
and jolly, while married men look as though something was eating 
them. There may be certain alleged beauties about the life of a 
bachelor while he is young and in his prime, but when he begins 
to get old, and pains rack his body, sickness confines him to his 
lonely bed, and he has to be assisted by strangers and hired help, 
he will realize what a fool he has made of himself, and what a fail 
ure his life has been. No wife or children to minister to his wants, 
the bachelor is a most forlorn object. It is then that he begins to 
look careworn, cross, and as though something was eating him, while 

80 



BACHELORS. 8 1 

the married man who used to look chat way is happy and con 
tented. It is better to have some cares and discomforts as a mar 
ried man at the front end of life, when one can endure them and 
see a piece of clear sky ahead, than to have a careless pic-nic in 
early life, with a prospect of dark clouds all the time after the indi 
vidual becomes old enough to need kindly offices from loving 
friends, instead of hiring somebody to be sorry for him at so much 
a week. The most pitiful object in life is a sick old bachelor at a 
boarding house, a hotel or a hospital. It is then that he thinks 
over his list of friends, male and female, who have homes, and he 
would give the world to be an inmate of one of those homes. He 
thinks of the girls he might and ought to have married years ago, 
and as a hired nurse brings him some pills to take, he thinks how 
much easier he could take them from the hands of a loving wife or 
daughter. A bachelor with a crick in his back thinks the hand of 
the hired nurse who rubs it is a curry comb, and he thinks of some 
soft hand he has held in his, years ago. and he would give ten years 
of his life if he had given to the owner of that soft hand the right 
to rub the crick out of his back, but it is everlastingly too late. If 
he went searching for a wife now he would have to take one 
was as old and toothless as he is, and her hand would be so harsh 
and bony that she would produce two cricks in the back where only 
one grew before. He realizes this when he tosses in pain ; and the 
look on his face plainly shows remorse. Bachelor friends may make 
formal calls on him when he is sick, and wish him a speedy cure, 
but that kind of friendship does not fill the bill. He dies, and the 
bachelor friends act as bearers at his funeral, friends of other days 
ride in the carriages as mourners, and talk about the blank life of 
the deceased, but there are no tears, unless there is a sister who 
comes from a distance to attend the funeral and see about probating 
the will. The confirmed bachelor is in hard luck, and perhaps he 
ought to pay a tax, or license, and wear a check on his neck, so 
that all may know he is a bachelor. New York Sun. g 



82 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

THE MATRIMONIAL MARKET. 

However melancholy the reflection, the fact remains none the 
less apparent that in nearly all quarters and civilized climes, there 
has during late years been a stringency in the matrimonial market 
which in France already seriously threatens the very existence of 
the nation, and in other countries is fast becoming- a serious enough 
element to call for special legislation. In the natural order of things 
the fact has long been established that the members of the fair sex 
greatly preponderate in numbers over the lords of creation. The 
birth rate, in the first place, is unequal, and the many subsequent 
dangers to which men are subject, in war and other like dangerous 
avocations, still further decimates this number. An excess in the 
direction intimated is, therefore, but to be expected. Apart from 
this, however, it is now found that young men fully able to take 
upon themselves household cares, refrain from so doing, and this 
hitherto unusual feature is commencing to assume an aspect it 
might almost be said of vital importance. This " hanging back 
clement, it would seem, is chiefly peculiar to the middle classes, 
and from this the inference naturally arises that the trouble is 
mainly traceable to the fact that the "better half" portion of the 
community in such walks of life are apt to expect surroundings and 
comforts in their houses far beyond the means of the average clerk 
or others of kindred professions to supply. On the other hand, the 
workingman s wife in her marriage expects and knows that she 
will have to prove a helpmeet to her partner in a practical sense, 
while of course among the richer classes such considerations do not 
hold a place. It is this disregard of the old time construction of 
"helpmeet" principle among the middle classes, that is causing all 
the trouble, in the opinion of those who have given the matter 
attention. 



BACHELORS. $3 

STATISTICS OF BACHELORISM. 

A married lady has favored us with the following report : 
Bachelors henpecked by their housekeepers, 3185 ; pestered by 
legacy-hunting relatives, 1796 ; devoured by ennui and selfish cares, 
2064 ; troubled and tormented by nephews and nieces (so called), 
1883 ; crabbed, cross-grained, and desolate in life s decline. 5384 ; 
happy, none. 

MATHEMATICAL CHANCES, 

Much as we may dislike to thrust arithmetic into the poetry of 
love, we feel that prudent maidens will thank us for reproducing 
certain statistics of marriage probabilities prepared by an English 
man who is good on figures. Assuming a woman s chances of 
achieving marriage to be one hundred, he reckons that if unmarried 
at twenty years of age she has lost fourteen and a half chances ; at 
twenty-five, fifty-two. At thirty she may console herself that there 
are yet left fifteen and a half chances ; at thirty-five she need not 
abandon hope, for eleven and a half chances are still hers, and even 
away up in the sixties she may still confidently count, noon the one- 
fourth of a chance. 




/:c-:\T/>:x\y:-v^ 

< xx 4- xx 4, xx4^^^^ 

xsvx 




NATURE TEACHING THE BACHELOR. 



UT ask now the beasts, and they shall teach thee ; and 
the fowls of the air, and they shall teach thee : 

Or speak to the earth, and it shall teach thee ; and 
the fishes of the sea shall declare unto thee Job. 
Seek ye out of the book of the Lord, and read ; no one 
of these shall fall, none shall want her mate. Isaiah. 



* * " There, well-pleased, 

I might the various polity survey 

Of the mixed household kind. The careful hen 

Calls her chirping family around, 

Fed and defended by the fearless cock, 

Whose breast with ardor flames as on he walks 

Graceful, and crows defiance. In the pond 

The finely checkered duck, before her train, 

Rows garrulous. The stately-sailing swan 

Gives out his snowy plumage to the gale, 

And, arching proud his neck, with hoary feet 

Bears forward fierce and guards his osier isle, 

Protective of his young. The turkey nigh, 

Loud-threatening, reddens ; while the peacock spreads 

His every-colored glory to the sun, 

And swims in radiant majesty along. 

O er the whole homely scene the cooing dove 

Flies quick in amorous chage, and wanton rolls 

The glancing eye and turns the changeful neck." 



86 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Nor heeds the rein, nor hears the sounding thong ; 
Blows are not felt, but tossing high his head, 
And by the well-known joy to distant plains 
Attracted strong, all wild he bursts away. 

Nor undelighted by the boundless spring 
Are the broad monsters of the foaming deep . 
From the deep ooze and gelid cavern rous d, 
They flounce and tumble in unwieldy joy. 
Dire was the strain, and dissonant, to sing 
The cruel raptures of the savage kind : 
How by this flame their native wrath sublim d, 
They roam, amid the fury of their heart, 
The far-resounding waste in fiercer bands, 
And growl their horrid loves. 

Still let my song a nobler note assume, 
And sing the infusive force of Spring on man ; 
When heaven and earth, as if contending, vie 

To raise his being, and serene his soul. 
Can he forbear to join the general smile 
Of nature? Can fierce passions vex his breast 
While every gale is peace, and every grove 
Is melody? 

Then nature 

Wears to the eye a look of love ; 
And all the tumult of a guilty world, 
Tossed by ungenerous passions, sinks away. Thompson. 

WINGED 

Hence the glossy kind 
Try every winning way inventive love 
Can dictate, and in courtship to their mates 
Pour forth their little souls. First, wide around, 



BACHELORS. 87 

With distant awe, in airy rings they rove, 
Endeavoring by a thousand tricks to catch 
The cunning, conscious, half-averted glance 
Of their regardless charmer. Should she seem 
Softening, the least approvence to bestow, 
Their colors burnish, and by hope inspired, 
They brisk advance ; then on a sudden struck, 
Retire disordered ; then again approach, 
In fond rotation spread the spotted wing, 
And shiver every feather with desire. Thompson. 

Shall things that creep, fly, mope or shine, 

Fulfil the great Creator s plan, 
And none resist the will Divine, 

But purblind, erring, wayward man ? 

Leviathan, with scaly mate, 

Rides plunging through the dread abyss, 
And singing bird, blind mole and bat 

Find chief delight in wedded bliss. 

There s nothing made for self alone, 

Each claims with others kindred share 

From " flesh of flesh and bone of bone," 
To teeming floods and tribes of air. 




THK BACHKLOR AMONG HIS DUMB FRIENDS. 



(See Cowper and " Puss,\ his Pet Hare.) 



t 

:( F^^l RASML S wrote his "Praise of Folly," on horseback, 
L r while travelling through Italy. The Ethiopian Eunuch 

read Isaiah, while sitting in his chariot, probably tour 

ing amoncr ludean hills. We, with less dignity of 
^& <* ^ J t> j 

travel, wrote the subjoined poemlets while journeying 
on foot in England. It was a bright day a charming air and we 
were strolling leisurely along on one of those never-to-be-forgotten, 
richly-green, and ever-winding English lanes, so grateful to the eye 
of both philosophic and devout contemplation, and were pleasantly 
shut in (or shut out, which you please) by those beautiful, embow 
ering hedges of bushy, blossoming hawthorn, in the pink-and-snowy 
freshness of their full May bloom, of which we gratefully sang : 

The lane, the lane, the winding lane, 

The ever-green lane for me ; 
The glittering lane, the buttercuppcd lane, 

The cowslipping lane for me. 

O all things there arc pure and fair, 

And beautiful to see : 
The pheasant rare, and the darting hare, 

And the milkmaid from the lea. 



BACHELORS. 89 

Sequestered all from great and small, 

God s works alone I know ; 
The city s noise and the worldling s joys, 

To me are empty show. 

The bees loud hum, and the birds sing, " come 

And help to swell the glee ;" 
While the hedges green in their summer sheen, 

Say, " all was made for thee." 

The daisied grass, as along I pass, 

A welcome waves to me ; 
And the whortled shell and the pimpernel. 

Cry, hail ! to the waving tree. 

The brook and rill from adown the hill, 

Both hymn of the distant sea, 
And onward glide to the rolling tide, 

And beckon still to me : 

"O mortal haste! no time to waste; 

Life brooks of no delay ; 
We run alone, o er moss and stone, 

As a saint rides into day. 

The lark on high in the azure sky. 

Doth cheer me as I go ; 
And the Cuckoo s note from her egg-cleared throat 

Sweet-signals me below. 

To other meads, my thought she leads, 

Where wintry winds ne er blow ; 
But God s own light doth chase earth s night, 

And end the reign of woe. 

So on 1 move, with the winds that rove, 
And clouds that float in light ; 



9O PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

With my pilgrim song, I ll march along 
To a home that s out of si<iht. 

O 

For life is a lane, a turning lane, 

A way-hiding lane to me ; 
A shady lane, a well-hedged lane, 

That windeth in mystery. 

Then, oh, the lane, the pleasant lane, 

The nest-seeking lane for me ; 
The primrosed lane, the may-flowered lane, 

The love-making lane for me 

As showing the comparative tamcncss and growing confidence 
of " protected " animals, when enjoying immunity from harm under 
well-enforced game laws, we remember having seen in a small field 
by the wayside a number of hares, pheasants, and lambs with their 
dams, all gently feeding together in unmolested quiet, as if antici 
patory of the charming era of the grand millenium, when, as saith 
prophecy, " nothing shall hurt nor destroy in all my holy mountain." 
And at Old Orchard Beach, Maine, while strolling in a do-and- 

o o 

gun-forbidden grove, the bright birds seemed almost indifferent to 
our approach, and a happy squirrel had the pleasing audacity to 
come close up to us, and glide over our feet, as he played about our 
path with a decidedly friendly and not-at-all-afraid air. 




ODE TO THE CUCKOO. 



Lend me your songs, ye nightingales ! Oh ! pour 
Into my verse, while I deduce 
From the first note the hollow cuckoo sings. 
The symphony of Spring. Thompson 




IRMAMENT voyager, whence comcst thou, 
And what are the tidings thou bringest ? 
The time of thy coming, who taught thee to know, 
As thy sun-seeking way thou now wingest ? 



Over seas, under skies, dost thou wantoning roam, 

That few of us ever may see ; 
But say, as in brightness we welcome thee home, 
What news dost thou carry with thee ? 

We knew thee in childhood and ran in to tell 
Our parents that " Cuckoo had come ;" 

But where are the ears on which those voices fell ? 
The lights of that dear vanished home ? 

Oh, say, bird of passage, in all thy long flight, 
Careering the broad heavens through, 

Hast thou seen that dear sister that left our sight ? 
That father or mother so true ? 

They left us with summer and followed thy track, 
To some far away region in space ; 
91 



92 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

But, say, will the absent ones ever come back r 
Again shall we see each bright face ? 

"O, questioning mortal receive my reply : 
There s nothing can perish that s true, 
The holy and pure are all hid in the sky, 
And soon may be greeted by you. 

Since I left the autumn s sere leaf has been seen, 
And winter s wild winds have swept o er, 

The spring s fitful change tearful April hath been 
Whilst that I summered bright on yon shore. 

I knew not the blasts, I saw not the change, 

I followed the sun on his way ; 
So these follow Jesus, the sweet plains they range 

Of love, and of life, and of day. 

Their voices, like mine, though long silent, shall sing, 
When the ransomed of God shall return ; 

None aged, infirm ; but a-flight on swift wing 
To bid thee fore er cease to mourn. 

I come with this greeting the u-inter is past ; 

I give thce this signal the storms cannot last ; 
The rains must waft over, and leave the sky blue : 

Be this voice sufficient, Cuckoo, sweet Cuckoo." 




1 ~ "7 




AN AMIABLE BACHELOR. 



HORACE WALPOLb. 




ROM the age ot twenty-five his fingers were enlarged and 
deformed by chalk stones, which were discharged twice 
a year. " I can chalk up a score with more rapidity than 
any man in England," was his melancholy jest. 

In spite of all his infirmities, Horace Walpole took 
no care of his health, as far as out-door exercise was con 
cerned. His friends beheld him with horror go out on a 
dewy day : he would even step out in his slippers. In his own 
grounds he never wore a hat : he used to say, that on his first visit 
to Paris he was ashamed of his effeminacy, when he saw every 
meagre little Frenchman whom he could have knocked down in a 
breath walking without a hat, which he could not do without a cer 
tainty of taking the disease which the Germans say is endemieal 
in England, and which they call to catch cold. The first trial, he 
used to tell his friends, cost him a fever, but he got over it. Draughts 
of air, damp rooms, windows open at his back, became matters of 
indifference to him after once getting through the hardening pro 
cess. He used even to be vexed at the officious solicitude of friends 
on this point, and with half a smile would say, " My back is the 
same as my face, and my neck is like my nose." He regarded his 
favorite iced-water as a preservative to his stomach, which, he said, 
would last longer than his bones. He did not take into account 

that the stomach is usually the seat of the disease 

93 



94 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAI 

One naturally inquires why the amiable recluse never, in his 
best days, thought of marriage : a difficult question to be answered. 
In men of that period, a dissolute life, an unhappy connection, too 
frequently explained the problem. In the case before us no such 
explanation can be offered. Horace Walpole had many votaries, 
many friends, several favorites, but no known mistress. The marks 
of the old bachelor fastened early on him, more especially after he 
began to be governed by his valet de chambre. The notable per 
sonage who ruled over the pliant Horace was a Swiss, named 
Colomb. This domestic tyrant was despotic ; if Horace wanted a 
tree to be felled, Colomb opposed it, and the master yielded. Ser 
vants, in those days, were intrinsically the same as in ours, but they 
differed in manner. The old familiarity had not gone out, but ex 
isted as it still does among the French. Those who recollect Dr. 
Parr will remember how stern a rule his factotum Sam exercised 
over him. Sam put down what wine he chose, nay, almost invited 
the guests ; at all events, he had his favorites among them. And 
in the same way as Sam ruled at Hatton, Colomb was, de facto, 
the master of Strawberry Hill. 

"His engaging manners," writes the editor of Walpoliana, "and 
gentle, endearing affability to his friends, exceed all praise. Not 
the smallest hateur, or consciousness of rank or talent, appeared in 
his familiar conferences ; and he was ever eager to dissipate any 
constraint that might occur, as imposing a constraint upon himself, 
and knowing that any such chain enfeebles and almost annihilates 
the mental powers. Endued with exquisite sensibility, his wit 
never gave the smallest wound, even to the grossest ignorance of 
the world, or the most morbid hypochondriac bashfulness." 

He had, in fact, no excuse for being doleful or morbid. How 
many resources were his ! what an even destiny ! what prosperous 
fortunes ! what learned luxury he revelled in ! he was enabled to 
"pick up all the roses of science, and to leave the thorns behind." 
To how few of the gifted have the means of gratification been per- 



BACHELORS. 95 

niitted ! to how many has hard work been allotted ! Then, when 
genius has been endowed with rank, with wealth, how often it has 
been degraded by excess ! Rochester s passions ran riot in one 
century : Beckford s gifts were polluted by his vices in another 
signal landmarks of each age. But Horace Walpole was prudent, 
decorous, even respectable : no elevated aspirations, no benevolent 
views ennobled under the petitesse of his nature. He had neither 
genius nor romance : he was even devoid of sentiment ; but he was 
social to all, neighborly to many, and attached to some of his 
fellow-creatures. Grace and Philip Wharton. 



CELIBATES FOR CHRIST S SAKE. 

His disciples say unto him, If the case of a man be so with his 
wife, it is not good to marry. 

But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save 
they to whom it is given. 

For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their 
mother s womb : and there are some eunuchs, which were made 
eunuchs of men : and there be eunuchs, which have made them 
selves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven s sake, He that is able 
to receive it, let him receive it. 

Neither let the son of the stranger, that hath joined himself to 
the Lord, speak, saying. The Lord hath utterly separated me from 
his people : neither let the eunuch say, Behold I am a dry tree. 

For thus saith the Lord unto the eunuchs that keep my sab 
baths, and choose the things that please me, and take hold of my 
covenant ; 

Even unto them will I give in mine house and within my walls 
a place and a name better than of sons and of daughters : I will 
give them an everlasting name, that shall not be cut off. 



^ 

;*;\^^ 

x 4- xx -L xx- J. >:>:-, Ux-l-xx-;U >:x4, xx 4< xx-> Uxx-i-: :A 



TIIK WISK BACHELOR. 



PROVIXC, A CLAIM. 



CITIZEN of Jerusalem, travelling through the country, 
was taken very sick at an inn. Feeling that he would 
*f V not recover, he sent for the landlord, and said to him, 

^ "I am going the way of all flesh. If, after my death, 
I " any party should come from Jerusalem and claim my 
effects, do not deliver them until he shall prove to thec by three 
wise acts that he is entitled to them ; for I charged my son before 
starting upon my way, that if death befel he would be obliged to 
prove his wisdom by obtaining my possessions." 

The man died, and was buried according to Jewish rites, and 
his death was made public that his heirs might appear. When his 
son learned of his father s decease he started from Jerusalem for 
the place where he had died. Near the gates of the city he met a 
man who had a load of wood for sale. This he purchased, and or 
dered it to be delivered at the inn towards which he was travelling. 
The man from whom he bought it went at once to the inn, and 
said, " Here is the wood." 

" What wood ?" returned the proprietor ; " I ordered no wood." 
" No," said the woodcutter, " but the man who follows me did ; 
I will enter and wait for him." 

Thus the son had provided for himself a welcome when he should 
reach the inn, which was his first wise act. 

The landlord said to him, " Who art thou ?" 



BACHELORS. 97 

"The son of the merchant who died in thy house," he replied. 

They prepared for him a dinner, and placed upon the table five 
pigeons and a chicken. The master of the house, his wife, two 
sons, and two daughters sat with him at the table. 

" Serve the food," said the landlord. 

"Nay," answered the young man ; "thou art master, it is thy 
privilege." 

" I desire thee to do this thing ; thou art my guest, the merchant s 
son ; pray help the food." 

The young man thus entreated divided one pigeon between the 
sons, another between the two daughters, gave the third to the man 
and his wife, and kept the other two for himself. This was his 
second wise act. 

The landlord looked somewhat perplexed at this mode of dis 
tribution, but said nothing. 

Then the merchant s son divided the chicken. He gave to the 
landlord and his wife the head, to the two sons the legs, to the two 
daughters the wings, and took the body for himself. This was his 
third wise act. 

The landlord said : 

" Is this the way they do things in thy country ? I noticed the 
manner in which thou didst apportion the pigeons, but said noth 
ing. But the chicken, my dear sir ! I must really ask thee thy 
meaning." 

Then the young man answered : 

" I told thee that it was not my place to serve the food, never 
theless, when thou didst insist, I did the best I could, and I think 
I have succeeded. Thyself, thy wife, and one pigeon, make three ; 
thy two sons and one pigeon make three ; thy two daughters and 
one pigeon make three ; and myself and two pigeons make three 
also. Therefore is it fairly as regards the chicken. I gave to thee 
and thy wife the head, because ye are the head of the family. I gave 
to each of thy sons a leg, because they are the pillars of the family, 



98 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

preserving the family name. I gave to each of thy daughters a 
wing, because in the usual course of events they will marry, take 
wing and fly away from the home nest. I took the body of the 
chicken, because it looks like a ship, and in a ship I came here, and 
in a ship 1 hope to return. I am the son of the merchant who 
died in thy house ; give me the property of my dead father." 

" Take it, and go," said the landlord, and giving him his father s 
possessions, the young man departed. Talmud. 



ANCIENT PROVERBS FOR THE YOUNG. 
" Youn man, talk not to me with infant wisdom. What arc 

o 

the sayings of the ancients. You ought to obey your parents. 
Listen : The father and the mother are the first deities a child 
has to acknowledge. Is it not said, Children who obey willingly 
are as ambrosia to the gods ?" " Were you my friend you would 
not act thus ; because, as the proverb says, True friends have but 
one soul in two bodies. " " I am told you have been trying to ruin 
me: But will the moon be injured by the barking of a dog? " 
" You have become proud, and conduct yourself like the upstart 
who must carry his silk umbrella to keep off the sun at midnight !" 
" You talk about your hopes of some coming good : what say the 
ancients? Expectation is the mid-day cream of life. " "Cease 
to be indolent ; for, as our fathers said, idleness is the rust of the 
mind. " 



A BACHELOR BEAU. 




gf EORGE Bryan Brummell, the second son of this worthy 
man, honored by his birth the 7th of June, 1778. No 
anecdotes of his childhood are preserved, except that 
KVJ he once cried because he could not eat any more dam- 
son tart. In later years he would probably have 
thought damson tart " very vulgar." He first turns up at Eton 
at the age of twelve, and even there commences his distinguished 
career, and is known as " Buck Brummell." 

In the life of such a man there could not, of course, be much 
striking incident. He lived for " society," and the whole of his 
story consists in his rise and fall in that narrow world. Though 
admired and sought after by the women so much so that at his 
death his chief assets were locks of hair, the only things he could 
not have turned into money he never married. Wedlock might 
have sobered him, and made him a more sensible, if not more res 
pectable member of society, but his advances towards matrimony 
never brought him to the crisis. He accounted for one rejection in 
his usual way. " What could I do, my dear fella" he lisped. 
" when I actually saw Lady Mary eat cabbage ?" At another time 
he is said to have induced some deluded young creature to elope 
with him from a ball-room, but managed the affair so ill, that the 
lovers (?) were caught in the next street, and the affair came to an 
end. He wrote rather ecstatic love-letters to Lady Mary and 

Miss s, gave married ladies advice on the treatment of their 

spouses, and was tender to various widows ; but though he went 



100 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

on in this way through life, he was never, it would seem, in love, 
from the mere fact that he was incapable of passion. 

Perhaps he was too much of a woman to care much for women. 
He was certainly egregiously effeminate. About the only creatures 
he could love were poodles. When one of his dogs, from over 
feeding, was taken ill, he sent for two dog-doctors, and consulted 
very gravely with them on the remedies to be applied. The canine 
physicians came to the conclusion that she must be bled. " Bled !" 
said Brummell, in horror ; " I shall leave the room ; inform me 
when the operation is over." When the dog died, he shed tears 
probably the only ones he had shed since childhood : and though 
at that time receiving money from many an old friend in England, 
complained, with touching melancholy, " that he had lost the only 
friend he had !" His grief lasted three whole days, during which he 
shut himself up, and would sec no one ; but we are not told that he 
ever thus mourned over any human being. 

The man who could not eat cabbages, drive in a hackney-coach, 
or wear less than three shirts a day, was now supported by volun 
tary contributions, and did not see anything derogatory to a gen 
tleman in their acceptance. If Brummell had now turned his tal 
ents to account ; if he had practised his painting, in which he was 
not altogether despicable ; or his poetry, in which, he had already 
had some trifling success ; if he had even engaged himself as a 
waiter at Ouillacq s, or given lessons in the art of deportment, his 
fine friends from town might have cut him, but posterity would 
have withheld its blame. He was a beggar of the merriest kind. 
While he wrote letters to friends in England, asking for remittan 
ces, and describing his wretched condition on a bed of straw and 
eating bran bread, he had a good barrel of Dorchester ale in his 
lodgings, his usual glass of maraschino, and his bottle of claret after 
dinner ; and though living on charity, could order new snuff-boxes 
to add to his collection, and new knick-knacks to adorn his room. 
There can be no pity for such a man, and we have no pity for 



BACHELORS. IOI 

him, whatever the rest of the world may feel. Nothing can be 
more contemptible than the gradual downfall of the broken beau. 
Yet, if it were doubted that his soul ever rose above the collar of a 
coat or the brim of a hat, his letters to Mr. Raikes in the time of 
his poverty would settle the question. " I heard of you the other 
day in a waistcoat that does you considerable credit, spick-and-span 
from Paris, a broad stripe, salmon-color, and cramoise. Don t let 
them laugh you into a relapse into the Gothic as that of your 
former English simplicity." Grace and Philip Wharton. 



THE FOP. 

The city swarms intense. The public haunt, 

Full of each theme, and warm with mixt discord, 

Hums indistinct. The sons of riot flow 

Down the loose stream of false inchanted joy, 

To swift destruction. On the rankled soul 

The gaming fury falls ; and in one gulf 

Of total ruin, honor, virtue, peace, 

Friends, families, and fortune, headlong sink. 

Up springs the dance along the lighted dome, 

Mix d, and evolv d, a thousand sprightly ways. 

The glittering court effuses every pomp ; 

The circle deepens : beam d from gaudy robes, 

Tapers, and sparkling gems, and radient eyes, 

A soft effulgence o er the palace waves : 

While, a gay insect in his summer-shine, 

The fop, light-fluttering, spreads his mealy wings. 

Thompson. 



THE FAMOUS CELIBATE, ST. PAUL. 



IS bodily presence, say they, is weak, and his speech 
contemptible. Paul s Enemies. 

Paul s stature was low, his body crooked, and his 
head bald. Chrysostom. 
lie was small, stooping, and rather inclinable to crooked 
ness ; pale-faced, of an elderly look, bald on the head. His 
eyes lively, keen and cheerful, and shaded in part by his eyebrows, 
which hung a little over. His nose rather long, and not ungrace 
fully bent. His beard pretty thick and of a sufficient length, and 
like his locks, interspersed with grey. Xicophonis. 




These are traditional accounts, and not much to be relied on, 
though probably they had some foundation in truth. Some think- 
that he had a small, weak voice, but this also is conjecture. If 
such had been the case, we incline to the opinion that he would 
never have been called " Mercurius (the god of eloquence), he being 
the chief speaker. " 

Others have been bold enough to affirm that the Apostle had a 
vixenish wife, and that his matrimonial relations were the " thorn 
in the flesh," referred to by him. But this idea receives no support 
from the truth, but contrariwise, he says : " I say therefore to the 
unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I." 

101 



THE ASCETIC CELIBATE. 



CIIRYSOSTOM (GOLDEN MOUTH.) 



. CHRYSOSTOM, to fit himself for the ministry, as 
soon as he became reader, retired into a mountain, 
where, joining himself to a Syrian hermit, he learned 
austerity, continence, chastity and mortification ; in this 
*(J condition he spent four years, and then to subdue the 
lusts of the flesh more perfectly, he absconded himself in a desert, 
where his lodging was no other than the bare ground, his table no 
other than a great stone, and his exercise nothing but reading and 
studying the Scriptures, and mastering his carnal desires and sen 
sual appetites. 

And, indeed, about this time, A. D. 390, these exercises began 
to be almost universal, and we that have never used such severities 
would scarcely believe that ever there were such men, or that they 
did those mighty things that are recorded of them in history. 
Anthony H or neck 



Chrysostom not unfrequently illustrates his subject by an anec 
dote. Thus to show how selfish men may become, and how insen 
sible in their covetousness to everything but their own interests, he 
narrates the following story : " A drought once overtook our city, 
and all were trembling for the last of evils, and were beseeching 

1U3 



104 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

God to rid them of this fear. And one might sec then that which 
was spoken of by Moses : the heavens became brass, and a death, 
of all deaths the most horrible, waited for every day. But after 
ward, when it seemed good to the merciful God, beyond all expec 
tation, there was wafted down from heaven a great and plentiful 
rain, and thenceforth all were in holiday and feasting, as having 
come up from the very gates of death. But in the midst of so great 
blessing, and the common gladness of all, one of these exceeding 
wealthy people, with a gloor^.- and downcast countenance, went 
about quite dead with sorrow ; and when many inquired the reason 
wherefore, in the common joy of all men, he alone is sorrowful, he 
could not even keep within him this savage passion, but goaded by 
the tyranny of the disease, he declared before them all the reason. 
\Vhy, said he, having in my possession ten thousand measures of 
wheat, I have no means of disposing of them left. " 



A CELIBATE S LIBERT7. 

Am I not an apostle ? am I not free ? have I not seen Jesus 
Christ our Lord ? are not ye my work in the Lord ? 

If I be not an apostle unto others, yet doubtless I am to you : 
for the seal of mine apostlcship are ye in the Lord. 

Mine answer to them that do examine me is this : 

Have we not power to eat and to drink ? 

Have we not power to lead about a sister, a wife, as well as 
other apostles, and as the brethren of the Lord and Cephas ? Paul. 





"Adopt, man, the course whhh is best, 
Undreaming of marital trouble ; 
One bird never yet built a nest. 
And all life in the ark wan saved doubU. 



BUILD A HOME 




AKE root somewhere, fellow comrade, 

Look out for the rainy day ; 
Don t float down the stream with driftwood, 

Mong the slush that floats away. 
Cease your dreaming of a castle, 
With its lofty spires and dome, 
Steer for some prolific harbor, 
Go to work and build a home. 

Riches never come by wishing, 

Nor are castles built of dreams ; 
They are only gay and dazzling, 

Like the bright sun s golden beams. 
Leave your wishing, dreaming, sailing 

Mid the bubbles and the foam, 
\nd select some spot that s pleasant, 

Go to work and build a home. 

"Fast are autumn s days approaching. 

Down the river lies the bay, 
Where you ll find not many landings, 

After youth has passed away ; 
Then 1 pray you take root somewhere, 

It is time to cease to roam, 
Say you will, that s half the battle, 

Go to work and build a home." 

105 



106 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

The French, it is said, have no word in their language for 
" Home ;" even as the Indians (and we assume also that with them 
most of the untutored tribes,) have no equivalent for our English 
"Amen" 

But this the rugged savage never felt, 

Even desolate in crowds ; and thus his days 

Roll d heavy, dark, and unenjoy d, along: 

A waste of time ! till INDUSTRY approach d, 

And rous d him from his miserable sloth ; 

His faculties unfolded ; pointed out, 

Where lavish Nature the directing hand 

Of Art demanded ; shovv d him how to raise 

His feeble force by the mechanic powers, 

To dig the mineral from the vaulted earth, 

On what to turn the piercing rage of fire, 

On what the torrent, and the gather d blast, 

Gave the tall ancient forest to his axe ; 

Taught him to chip the wood and hew the stone, 

Till by degrees the finish d fabric rose ; 

Tore from his limbs the blood-polluted fur, 

And wrapt them in the woolly vestment warm, 

Or bright in glossy silk, and flowing lawn ; 

With wholesome viands fill d his table, poured 

The generous glass around, inspir d to wake 

The life-refining soul of decent wit : 

Nor stopp d at barren bare necessity ; 

Hut still advancing bolder, led him on 

To pomp, to pleasure, elegance, and grace : 

And, breathing high ambition thro his soul, 

Set science, wisdom, glory, in his view, 

And bade him be the Lord of all below. 

Thompson. 



BACHELORS. IO/ 

HEW TO THE LINE. 
The glancing blade with a mellow ring 
Went back and forth with the hewer s swing, 
As it neared the mark that straight and white, 
Told where the stick should be hewn aright. 

" Hew to the line !" were the words he heard 
Ere the last chip flew like a frightened bird ; 
Some tiny shreds from the narrow strand, 
And the work was done to the builder s hand. 

It was simple all, but the words were fine, 
And an echo caught them, " Hew to the line !" 
Aye, " hew to the line," in the tasks of life, 
Let the chips briskly fly as you wage the strife. 

Yes, work with a will while the arm is strong, 
And the mark is plain between right and wrong. 
The boaster will rant and the weakling whine, 
But strike a mark and " hew to the line." 

Chicago I liter- Ocean. 

HOMELESS. 

How often, with regard to this matter of " building a home," do 
men (to quote the words of an ancient sage), approve the better and 
pursue the worse ! Take, for example, the case of John Howard 
Paine, the author of " Home, sweet home," as given by some tour 
istic reporter : 

Near Carthage, in a lonely spot rarely visited, sleeps a wander 
ing minstrel of our own times, whose one immortal song has been 
heard everywhere the English language is spoken. Like the roving 
singers of lovely Provence, many times he had nothing but his 
harp. John Howard Payne was a gay Bohemian, extravagant in 
taste, lavish in expenditure; living much, too much, " mid pleas 
ures and palaces," yet with a vein of sadness down deep in his 
heart. He died while holding the office of consul, and a plain mar- 



IOS PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

ble slab, sent out by the Government of the United States, marks 
the grave of the homeless man, sixty years a wanderer on this earth, 
the author of" Home, Sweet Home." One winter he was without 
money or credit, and in London had not where to lay his head. He 
tried to quiet the pain of hunger and homelessness by looking in at 
windows and from the areas scenting good cheer. It was Christ 
mas Eve; the snow fell fast, the wind was sharp and keen. At one 
luxurious house the hungry man stopped and watched the lighting 
of the Christmas tree. Its candles streamed brightly on the pave 
ment, and among the evergreens he could sec the red berries of 
holly, the toys and garlands, and the pretty heads of children^ 
They danced and clapped their hands while the presents were dis 
tributed, and the air rang with shouts, laughter, and screams of 
delight. When the merriment had spent itself a little, one young 
girl went to the piano and struck up " Sweet Home," while the 
family joined in a rousing chorus. Was ever contrast so bitter? 
I have this from Mrs. Consul-General Heap. Payne told it to her 
long after those evil days were passed. Independent. 

It may not be amiss to state that since the foregoing article was 
written, Payne s remains have been removed to the metropolis of 
America, and a beautiful monument left in their place to mark the 
site of their first sepulture. 



HOME, SWEET HOME. 

John Howard Payne struck one of the deepest and tcn- 
dcrcst chords of the human heart when he penned the exqui 
site lines of " Home , Sweet Home." The traveller wandering in 
foreign lands, the sailor keeping watch at midnight upon the great 
deep, the soldier bivouacking upon the battlefield, the poor wait 
in the populous city, and the felon in his lonely cell, have alike felt 
the subtle power of this immortal song. There is something in the 



BACHELORS. 109 

thought of home, "be it ever so humble," that touches a sensitive 
chord in every heart, causing it to thrill with the most exquisite 
emotions. What precious memories and hallowed associations 
cluster around our childhood s home ! Unconsciously they weave 
themselves like golden threads into the warp and woof of our 
thoughts and feelings, producing pictures, the contemplation of 
which inspire us with hope and courage as we engage in the activ 
ities of a busy, rushing world. The farther we advance in life the 
more fondly we cherish the memory of home. 

Home ! how that blessed word thrills the ear ! 

In it what recollections blend ! 
It tells of childhood s scenes so dear, 
And speaks of many a cherished friend. 

O ! through the world, where er we roam, 
Though souls be pure, and lips be kind, 

The heart with fondness turns to home, 
Still turns to those it left behind. 

The bird, that soars to yonder skies, 

Though nigh to heaven, still seems unblessed; 

It leaves them, and with rapture flies 
Downward to its much-loved nest. 

Though beauteous scenes may meet its view, 

And breezes blow from balmy groves, 
With wing untired and bosom true, 

It turns to that dear spot it loves. 

When heaven shall bid this soul depart, 

This form return to kindred earth, 
May the last throb which swells my heart 

Heave, where it started into birth. 



IIO PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 



And should affection shed one tear, 

Should friendship linger round my tomb ; 

The tribute will be doubly dear, 

When given by those of " home, sweet home. 



SERVE THEM RIGHT. 



Let bachelors their woes deplore, 

Full well they merit all they feel, and more. 

Pope. 



ADVANTAGES OF WEDLOCK. 
" A word to the wise is sufficient." 

None but the married man has a home in his old age ; none has 
friends then but he ; none but he knows and feels the solace of the 
domestic hearth; none but he lives and freshens in his green old 
age, amid the affections of wife and children. 

There are no tears shed for the old bachelor ; there is no ready 
hand and kind heart to cheer him in his loneliness and bereave 
ments ; there is no one in whose eyes he can see himself reflected, 
and from whose lips he can receive the unfailing assurances of care 
and love. No, the old bachelor may be tolerated for his money ; 
he may eat and drink and revel as such do ; and he may sicken 
and die in a hotel or a garret with plenty of attendants about him, 
like so many cormorants waiting for their prey ; but where is the 
moistened eye, the gentle hand, the loving lips that ought to receive 
his last farewell ? He will never know what it is to be loved, and 
to live and die amid a loving circle. He will go from this world 
ignorant of the delights of the domestic fireside, and on the records 
of humanity his lite is noted a blank. 



<sj&&^ 



, : -,. 



"T\ /T* 

V aidens. 




LL some kind genius, with a language-framing capacity 
and possessed of a philanthropic and generous nature, 
invent a new word therewith to designate that very 
useful oftentimes beautiful and utterly indispen 
sable class of persons found in every community (ex 
cept, perhaps, in a mining region, or on the extreme frontier of 
civilized life), puzzling to census-takers, and destructive usually 
of family registers, who are known to the world as " maiden aunts," 
I. *.," old maids," or what is more euphonious indeed, but much 
more circumlocutory and inconvenient, " ladies of an age uncer 
tain ?" Such a man would be a benefactor to his race, and would 
earn the gratitude of all the unmarried belles, who have passed the 
figures of the ripening, slowly-rising "teens," and merged into the 
declining and rapidly growing (if not October browning) " ties." 
It is certain that some of the very best, choicest, most sensible and 
clever spirits are, in a true and proper sense, " left," while many of 
their younger, pert, and more lavish, charm-flinging sisters are read 
ily, and, I had almost said, indiscriminately appropriated. And 
why? Who will solve this social problem? Of these un wooed, 
nay, scarcely that, unwon beauties, Grace Greenwood very perti 
nently says, that among its other admirable manufactures, Xew 
England produces the best educated girls, the truest wives, the 
noblest mothers, and the most glorious old maids in the world. 
We now, in behalf of our patient and, might we not say, long 

suffering sisterhood, await the coming of the magical word. 

8* 



3SX XX^^^ 



SPINSTERS. 



A child no more ; a spinster now 

A graceful maiden, with a gentle brow; 

A cheek tinged lightly and a dovelike eye : 

And all hearts bless her as she passes by. Mary Howitt 




HERE is no sweeter or more interesting character, 
whether in fiction or real life, than the spinster who 
has for some good reason refused a lover s proposal, 
and has now reached the hour of old maid. The ordeal 
through which she has passed seems to have refined her 
feelings, and of itself insensibly draws to her the regards of 
all who know her history. Such a one is eminently lovable and 
sympathetic, forward in all good works, the warm friend of married 
men and women, the confidante of many a tender passion. Age 
does not wither the beauty of her disposition. She never slanders, 
never retails ill-natured gossip ; but, on the other hand, though 
prompt to put in a sensible word on a crisis, does not deem it her 
mission to set all the people around her right. She makes an ad 
mirable aunt, and is very necessary to a/ large circle of cousins. 
Many a young fellow on the threshold of life bears a kindly remem 
brance of the good nature and tact with w r hich she helped him to 
steer clear of the shoals where he might otherwise have been 
wrecked. 

Formerly it was a maxim that a young woman should never 

be married till she had spun herself a full set of linen. Hence, all 

114 



MAIDENS. 1 1 5 

/ 

unmarried women have been called spinsters: an appellation they 
still retain in deeds and law proceedings, though many are not en 
titled to it." 






INCREASE OF SPINSTERS. 

"That there is an enormous and constantly increasing number 
of single women in England is undoubted, and this is certainly in 
dicative of an unwholesome social state. Many thousands of women 
have to earn their own living, in place of spending and husbanding 
the earnings of men. They pass their time in an incomplete and 
separate existence of their own, instead of completing and embel 
lishing the existence of others. From the excess in the number of 
women thousands take service in factories, while others overcrowd 
the ill-paid ranks of needle-women and seamstresses. 

Even in the richer classes there is the same inequality of num 
bers, and those who are relieved from the necessity of working for 
their daily bread, have yet to seek some occupation, some interest 
in life, to relieve the tedium of an objectless existence. Some pur 
sue pleasure merely, though this soon palls upon the appetite ; 
others take to charitable pursuits, doing, perchance, an equal amount 
of good and mischief. Those whose tastes lead them to literary 
or artistic pursuits, are perhaps the least unhappy. That a redun 
dancy of unmarried women exists is evident ; but it must not be 
regarded as caused wholly or mainly by a disparity in the number 
of the sexes. This difference does not at the most amount to 6 
per cent., whereas the number of unmarried women in England 
amounts not to 6, but actually to 30 per cent., that is to say, only 
two out of every three women are married." 





MAIDEN AND HERMIT. 



D ah ! forgive a stranger rude, 

A wretch forlorn," she cried ; 
I ^.^> "Whose feet unhallowed thus intrude 
Where heaven and you reside. 



" But let a maid thy pity share, 

Whom love has taught to stray, 
Who seeks for rest, but finds despair 
Companion of her way. 

"My father lived beside the Tync, 

A wealthy lord was he ; 
And all his wealth was marked as mine, 
He had but only me. 

"To win me from his tender arms, 

Unnumbered suitors came, 
Who praised me for imputed charms, 
And felt or feigned a flame. 

"Each hour a mercenary crowd, 
With richest proffers strove ; 
Amongst the rest young Edwin bowed, 

But never talked of love. 
110 






MAIDENS. 117 

in humble, simplest habit clad, 

No wealth nor power had he ; 
Wisdom and worth were all he had, 
But these were all to me. 

"And when beside me in the dale, 

He carolled lays of love, 
His breath lent fragrance to the gale 
And music to the grove. 

"The blossom opening to the day, 

The dews of heaven refined, 
Could naught of purity display 
To emulate his mind. 

"The de\v, the blossom on the tree 
With charms inconstant shine ; 
Their charms were his, but woe to me ! 
Their constancy was mine. 

"For still I tried each fickle heart, 

Importunate and vain ; 
And while his passion touched my heart, 
I triumphed in his pain. 

Till quite dejected with my scorn, 

He left me to my pride, 
And sought a solitude forlorn, 
In secret where he died. 

"But mine the sorrow, mine the fault, 

And well my life shall pay ; 
I ll seek the solitude he sought, 
And stretch me where he lay. 

"And there forlorn, despairing, hid, 
I ll lay me down and die ; 



Il8 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Twas so for me that Edwin did, 
And so for him will I. 

"Forbid it, Heaven !" the Hermit cried, 

And clasped her to his breast ; 
The wondering fair one turned to chide 
Twas Edwin s self that pressed. 

"Turn, Angelina, ever dear, 
My charmer, turn to see 
Thy own, thy long-lost Edwin here, 
Restored to love and thee. 

"Thus let me hold thee to my heart, 

.And every care resign ; 
And shall we never, never part, 
My life my all that s mine ? 

Xo, never from this hour to part, 

We ll live and love so true ; 
The sigh that rends thy constant heart, 
Shall break thy Edwin s too." Goldsmith. 




CHARACTERISTIC MAIDENS 



A BENEVOLENT MAIDEN. 



ISS ST. PIERRE, the Tennessee heiress, thinks she 
can elevate the poor white people of the South. She 
intends to form colonies, and give the poor whites 
houses and work. She will give each family timber 
to build a house and a ten year s lease on twenty 
acres of land. 




A TOILSOME MAIDEN. 

Miss Elizabeth Marriott, a cultivated young lady of Stanford- 
ville, Duchess County, N. Y., owns a farm, and does quite as much 
of the work upon it as her hired man. She does the mowing, rak 
ing, and loading hay, sometimes the ploughing. She has a young 
horse which is the terror of all the blacksmiths near, and it is quite 
impossible to have it shod unless its mistress is on hand to ensure 
the safety of the man s limbs. 



A VAIN MAIDEN 

A number of young girls were discussing the delights of their 
summer outings, and comparing notes as to the number of their 
dancing, boating, riding and mountain parties. One of the maidens 
was enthusiastic about the mountains, which she had visited for the 

119 



120 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

first time, and where she remained all summer. " Girls," she said, 
" I made a great mistake in having both my mountain dresses in 
grave colors. One ought never to go to the mountains without one 
bright-colored climbing suit, for the bright colors set off the moun- 
tainsjso well." 

One of the innocent tricks of the Philadelphia shop girls is car 
rying their dinners disguised in a music roll. It looks as though 
they belonged to the conservatory, and were going for an early 
music lesson. 



WHY GIRLS DON T MARRY. 

" A great deal has been said," remarked a lady clerk in the 
Treasury Department, "about why girls don t marry. So far I 
have only heard the men quoted, and they say a great deal about 
the girls losing their charms and becoming less feminine by mixing 
with the business world, and about wanting to better their condi 
tion by marriage. Now, if you reporters really want to know some 
thing about the matter, why don t you go to the women themselves? 
I ll just tell you one thing and it s what I believe to be an impor 
tant reason. When a girl is kept at home, and surrounded by 
girls, and hears of the greatness of the masculine part of \\\c genus 
homo, and only meeting him at picnics and in the parlor, she con 
ceives rather an exalted idea of what he really is. Then when she 
secures a position, and meets them as they are away from the gas 
light s uncertain glitter, her idea of the actual tact falls considerably 
from what it was in her inexperience, even if she still retains the 
ideal in her mind. The fact is, we are like Diogenes we are hunt 
ing for an honest man. \Ve know more about them than we did, 
and so the right man is harder to find." Washington Republican. 




Reflective and thoughtful and aober and sweet, 
She hag come to a place where two roads m.-i-t : 
And which he will take, tin* reader may 
By the Love in her eye and the " - < 



home " in her dress. 



FAMOUS SPINSTERS. 




at the list. Elizabeth of England, one of the most 
illustrious of modern sovereigns. Her rule over Great 
Britain certainly comprised the most brilliant literary 
age of the English-speaking people. Her political acu 
men was certainly put to as severe tests as that of any 
other ruler the world ever saw. Maria Edgeworth was an old maid. 
It was this woman s writings that first suggested the thought of 
writing similarly to Sir Walter Scott. Her brain might well be 
called the mother of the Waverley Novels. Jane Porter lived and 
died an old maid. The children of her busy brain were "Thaddeus 
of Warsaw," and the " Scottish Chiefs," which have moved the 
hearts of millions with excitement and tears. Joanna Baillie. poet 
and play writer, was "one of em." Florence Nightingale, most 
gracious lady, heroine of Balaklava hospitals, has to the present 
written "Miss" before her name. The man who should marry her 
might well crave to take the name of Nightingale. Sister Dora, 
the brave spirit of English pest-houses, whose story is as a helpful 
evangel, was the bride of the world s sorrow only. And then what 
names could the reader and the writer add of those whom the great 
world may not know, but we know, and the little world of the vil 
lage, the church, the family know, and prize beyond all worlds. 
Nor til British Advertiser. 

121 



122 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

FORTUNE AND LOVE. 

Let me live without Fortune if Providence will it, 

For Joy can be found where small treasure is shed ; 
Those who bear a full cup are the aptcst to spill it, 

And oftentimes walk with the narrowest tread. 
I care not though fate may deny me profusion, 

If earth will but show me some rays from above ; 
Tell me not that such life is a dreamy illusion 

I could live without Fortune, but not without Love ! 

Oh ! tis pleasant to know there are beings above us 

Who tune the most exquisite strings in our heart, 
To feel that they would not be happy without us, 

And that we, in our loneliness, sigh when we part. 
Oh ! there s something divine in the thought that we cherish. 

A star-beam within us that shines from above 
To know, that if all which gold gives us should perish, 

The greatest of Fortune still dwells in our Love 

Oh ! tis glory to feel that we live for some others. 

That Self is not all we depend on below, 
That affection yet links us to sisters and brothers, 

Whose faith will be constant, come weal or come woe. 
Though the vulture of trouble may harass our bosom, 

Ne er fear while our spirit is fed by the dove ; 
Let the desert of Life give Eternity s blossom, 
And we ll live without Fortune, while favored by Love ! 

Eliza Cook. 



CELIBACY FAVORABLE TO AUTHORSHIP. 

A survey of the lives of the later literary women shows us two 
things: First, that most of them were cither single, or, if married, 
were childless ; and, second, that they have been generally long- 



MAIDENS. 123 

lived. The list of literary spinsters includes Fredcrika Bremer, 
Emily Bronte, Hannah Moore, Harriet Martineau, Eliza Cook, 
Miss Sedgewick, the Carys, Miss Dickenson, Maria Edgeworth, 
Miss Mitford, Augusta Evans, Jane Austen ; while that of childless 
women includes Mrs. Nichols (Charlotte Bronte), Mrs. Somerville, 
Mrs. Cross v George Eliot), Mrs. McLean (Letitia E. Landon). Sev 
eral had one or two children only ; for example, Mrs. Barret Brown 
ing had one son, and Madame Darblay one son, Madame de Se- 
vigne two children ; Madame de Stael also had children. It is, no 
doubt, true that both men and women of distinguished intellectual 
talents, and who are active brain workers, are liable to be childless 
or to have but few children. The longevity of female brain-workers 
is simply in accordance with the established fact of the longevity 
of masculine brain-workers. Thus, Hannah Moore died at the age 
of 88, Mrs. Somerville at the age of 92, Miss Mitford at the age ot 
69. At the time of her death Mme. de Sevigne was 70. Miss Bre 
mer 64, Miss Edgeworth 82, Mme. Darblay 88. 

AMERICA S STRONG-MINDED WOMEN. 

" In America, where life is lived double-quick, and where every 
product, from a continent downwards, is of the largest size, there 
are crops of over-taught girlhood ripe already for our inspection. 
Women of the middle classes there can discuss the nebular hypoth 
esis of the binomial theory, as ours talk of lacework and the baby. 
Mr. Hudson, in his recent * Scamper Through America, declares 
that to converse in the railway cars with ladies returning from con 
ventions and conferences was a genuine pleasure, an intellectual 
treat. But he adds that though one could revere them, almost 
worship them, to love them was out of the question." 




XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XTVVVVVVVVVVVV vvvvvvvvvvv",-yv- 



^ ^x>:>:>:x>:Tv>;r^v>;r^vxt-^>:^n! 
:*::o::^ 



DAUGHTERS. 




^ 
ERTAIN it is that there is no relation so purely angelic 

as that of a father to a daughter. He beholds her both 
iS w ^ anc * w i tnout regard to her sex. In love to our 
j& wives there is desire ; to our sons there is ambition ; 
but in that to our daughters there is something which 
there are no words to express. Addison. 

m<& 

Of all the knots which nature ties 

The secret, sacred sympathies, 

That, as with viewless chains of gold, 

The heart a happy prisoner hold ; 

None is more chaste, more bright, more pure, 

Stronger stern trials to endure ; 

None is more pure of earthly leaven, 

More like the love of highest heaven, 

Than that which binds, in bonds how blest, 

A daughter to a father s breast./. IT. Cunningham. 

M*& 

In a father s love, like a well-drawn picture, he eyes all his child 
ren alike (if there be a parity of deserts), never parching one to 
drown another. Fuller. 

m 



MAIDENS. 125 

DAUGHTER S NAMES. 

And he called the name of the first Jemima: and the name of 
the second, Kezia ; and the name of the third, Keren-happuch. 
Job xlii. 14.. 

These names are very characteristic, and are exactly of the same 
class as are at the present day given to the women in the East. 
The first name, Jemima^ according to the Targum, means " day ;" 
or may as probably have the signification of " turtle " or " dove," 
which it bears in the Arabic language. The second is cassia the 
aromatic of that name. And the third appears to be correctly ren 
dered by the Vulgate, cornu-stibii " the horn or vessel of stibium? 
that is, of paint, such paint as the eyes were adorned with. All 
these name are in exact conformity with the present usages, in 
which the names of females are taken from whatever is considered 
agreeable and beautiful flowers fruits, gums, perfumes, precious 
stones, and the like. The last name is the most singular. It is 
one of the chacteristics of the Orientals that they do not keep in 
the background the materials and instruments of personal adorn 
ment, but obtrude them on every occasion, as objects calculated to 
suggest agreeable ideas. Hence the vessels containing paints, un 
guents, and perfumes, give names to females, supply images to 
poetry ; and painted representations of them, with their names in 
scribed upon them, occur, equally with representations of flowers, 
on the walls of palaces in the East. It is also remarkable that this 
custom of painting the eyes should have existed at so very early a 
period as the name of Job s daughter intimates. Yet we know that 
it existed in the time of the kings (see II. Kings ix. 30) ; as also 
among the ancient Egyptians, as appears from their paintings and 
mummies, as well as from the fact that vessels with remains of the 
black powder, and the probes or pencils for applying it to the eye, 
have often been found in the ancient tombs. Dr. Kitto. 



126 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

THE HEART ASSERTING ITSELF, OR THE CLOISTER. 
"Look on the placid water - 

The wily abbess spake 
Look and receive, my daughter, 

A lesson from the lake. 
Upon its face no wrinkle 

Is made by breeze of even ; 
Bright in its bosom twinkle 
The far-off stars of heaven. 

Tis thus the Bride of Heaven 

Doth calmly pass her life ; 
I Icr heart is never riven 

By worldly sin and strife. 
Serene in her seclusion, 

In quiet doth her soul, 
Unruffled by intrusion, 

Look upward to its goal. 

4 Xo, no, my Reverend Mother 

The lady bright replied ; 
4 Unto my heart, far other 

The lesson of the tide. 
If it were always sleeping, 

Devoid of fluctuation, 
Soon o er it would be creeping 

The greenness of stagnation. 

The great law of Jehovah 

Is Action here on earth ; 
It is the only power 

Of spiritual worth. 
Then tempt me not, and think not. 

To shake my soul with doubt ; 
God helping me, I ll shrink not 

But fight the battle out." 



MAIDENS. 127 

ACTIVITY THE RAREST JEWEL. 

Work is with enjoyment rife, 
Conservates both health and life ; 
Merrily speeds on the day, 
Chases care and gloom away. 

Tis the bracelet on the wrist, 
Tis the brooch of amethyst, 
Tis A he circlet on the brow. 
Tis the fruit upon life s bough ; 
Tis earth s blessing, not its ban, 
Tis the assurance of a man. 

Honour to the men who toil, 
Though at common tasks they moil ; 
Shirtless arm and gloveless hand - 
Honor to the noble band : 
Let men rank however high, 
Work is life s sole dignity. 

Be no aimless idler then 
But a worker among men : 
Planning, building every sun 
Something ended or begun 
Filled with special toil thy hours, 
As befits thy gifts and powers. 

S. W. Partridge. 



QUALITIES SURPASSING LOVELINESS. 

She had read 

Her father s well-filled library with profit, 
And could talk charmingly Then she would sing 
And plav, too, passably, 



123 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 



She sketched irom nature well, and studied flowers, 

Which was enough, alone, to love her for : 

Yet she was knowing in all her needle work 

And shone in dairy and in kitchen, too 

As in the parlor. Anon, 



When sailing on this troubled sea 
Of pain, and tears, and agony ; 
Though wildly roar the waves around, 
With restless and repeated sound, 
Tis sweet to think that on our eyes 
A lovelier clime shall yet arise ; 
That we shall wake from sorrow s dream 
Beside a pure and living stream." 



HUMAN WAYWARDNESS ; OR, HOW SHALL WE DISPOSE OF 
OUR DAUGHTERS. 

Perhaps the native depravity of the human heart is nowhere 
more clearly discernible than in its constant longing, ceaseless 
yearning, and eager, incontinent hankering after the inhibited and 
forbidden. The story of the forbidden tree in Eden ; the fable of 
the " covered dish " on the ample table ; the old legend of Blue 
beard s bloody room, that startled us in the nursery, all point in 
the same direction, and serve to show the truth opposing bias of 
the natural heart of unregcnerate man. Man s very instincts are 
contradictory, and oftentimes the only way to pursuade him to a 
course of right is to impress him with the belief that it it is " very 
wrong" a doubtful expedient, and not wholly in the interest of 
truth and strict morality. 

We have heard of a French women, who, while greatly enjoying 
herself in a legitimate and ordinate way, yet complained that there 



MAIDENS. 129 

was not a touch of the inordinate about it, exclaiming- : "Oh ! that 
there were a little sin in it." So blind are men to the beauty of 
truth, to the majesty of the divine law, and to the "exceeding sin- 
fulness of sin." They even, according to scripture, make a delicacy 
of it, a moral " sweetmeat," and " roll it under their tongue as a 
sweet morsel." 

And nowhere is this seen more than in matters pertaining to 
affection between the sexes. Love is ever painted blind, and rightly 
so, for it is almost sure to run a tilt at discretion, and go directly 
contrary to the course of good counsel. The more barriers you 
put before it, the more will it summon its energies to surmount 
them, and for this reason, the following anecdote may not be with 
out its significance, though the dissimulation involved in it we 
cannot quite recommend. 



BROWN S MATRIMONIAL METHOD. 

" Brown, I don t see how it is that your girls all marry off as soon 
as they are old enough, while none of mine can marry." 

" Oh ! that s simple enough. I marry my girls off on the buck 
wheat straw principle." 

" But what is that principle ? I never heard of it before." 

"Well, I used to raise a good deal of buckwheat, and it puzzled 
me a good deal to get rid of the straw. Nothing would eat it, and 
it was a great bother to me. At last I thought of a plan. I stacked 
my buckwheat straw nicely, and built a high rail fence around it. 
My cattle, of course, concluded that it was something good, and at 
once tore down the fence and began to eat the straw. I drove 
them away and put up the fence a few times, but the more I drove 
them away, the more anxious they became to eat the straw. After 
this had been repeated a few times, the cattle determined to eat 



13 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 



the straw, and cat it they did, every bit of it. As I said, I marry 
my girls off on the same principle. When a young: man I don t 
like begins calling on my girls, I encourage him in every way I 
can. I tell him to come as often and stay as late as he pleases, 
and I take pains to hint to the girls that I think they d better set 
their caps for him. It works first-rate. He don t make many calls, 
for the girls treat him as coolly as they can. But when a young 
fellow that I like comes around, a man that I think would suit me 
for a son-in-law, I don t let him make many calls before I give him 
to understand that he isn t wanted around my house. I tell the 
girls, too, that they shall not have anything to do with him, and 
give them orders never to speak to him again. The plan works 
first rate. The young folks begin to pity each other, and the next 
thing I know they are engaged to be married. When I sec that 
they arc determined to marry, I always give in, and pretend to 
make the bc.^t of it. That s the way to manage it." 



Nothing needs a lie. }\ 7 ashington. 
Buy the truth and sell it not. Solomon. 



m*. 



MISSES. 




(NOTHER word in the lesson was in the expression, " he 
will miss the mark," or some such thing- as that On 
asking the class what the word " miss " meant, all were 
silent, and looked a little confused. At length one fel 
low, sure that he had the proper answe-r, and confident 
thereby of getting to the top at one bound, took one step forward, 
and, impatient to reveal and profit by his discovery, shook his ex 
tended arm, waiting for my signal to come out with it. That given, 
with a look of triumph he shrieked out at the top of his voice, "Miss 
means a woman that hasna gotten a man !" Rev. Dr. Gut/trie 



MISS NIGHTINGALE. 

" Miss Nightingale forever !" they shouted in acclamation, as 
they gave the heroine of hospital fame a most generous ovation in 
England. " Nay, not Miss Nightingale for ever," she replied, with a 
significant and gracious, spouse-inclining glance. It were of course 
not natural nor congenial to such a broad and loving nature to be 
" Missed " for ever. 

m 

MERCY S DECISION. 

Mercy. Well, said Mercy, if nobody wfll have me I will die a 
maid, or my conditions shall be to me a husband ; for I cannot 

131 



132 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

change my nature, and to have one that is cross to me in this, I 
purpose never to admit as long as I live. I had a sister named 
Bountiful that was married to one of these churls ; but he and she 
could never agree ; but because my sister was resolved to do as she 
had begun, that is, to show kindness to the poor, therefore her hus 
band first cried her down at the cross, and then turned her out of 
doors. 

Prudence. And yet he was a professor, I warrant you. 

Mercy. -Yes, such a one as he was, and of such as the world is 
now full, but I am for none of them all. Bunyan. 



YIRC.INS IN HARNESS. A RUSSIAN CHARM. 

The village of Minussinsk in Russia, has been deeply troubled 
by the pest among its cows ; and the conscript fathers of the com 
munity held a meeting to decide upon the best means of putting a 
stop to the calamity. It was agreed that resort should be had to 
the old Slavonic custom of " round-ploughing." The Sveit gives 
an account of the process. Seven virgins, two old women, and a 
young bachelor of good character are elected. At midnight a pro 
cession of the peasants is formed, led by the two old women carry 
ing pictures of saints. In the rear of the procession the seven 
maidens are harnessed to a plough, which is guided by the young 
man. A light furrow is ploughed around the village ; and thereby, 
according to the belief of the local agriculturists, a barrier is pro 
vided against the evil spirit which causes the pest : he has no power 
to pass over the mystical furrow. St. James Gazette. 

We are ready to vouch tor it, that seven maidens, with an eligi 
ble young bachelor behind them, will never be able to plough a 
straight furrow. 




Love s watchfires buro with a steady clow. 



MAIDENS. 133 

THE VILLAGE BELLE. 

He was a robust man and strong, 

And she of slender mould, 
They married young too young, in fact, 

To love real well when old. 

He was a popular boy in town, 

And she a country belle ; 
Such contrasts mate and learn too late, 

As more events will tell. 

He set his heart on rapid gains, 

And she, to do her part, 
Slaved, worked and saved, took extra pains 

To get an early start. 4 

Long winter days, in timber woods, 

She kept the camp and store, 
And rapidly they gathered gold, 

As few have done before. 

She cooked the meals and made the beds, 

Did washing for two score, 
And proved a helpmate true indeed 

A wife and something more. 

To crown their labor and success 

And do a double part, 
She raised his children one by one, 

And gave them each a start. 

He, foreman of the lumber woods, 

And buyer for the store, 
She, salesman of rude, clumsy goods, 

Is now a belle no more. 



134 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

The camp has brought her overwork, 
And undermined her health : 

The wrinkles thick upon her brow 
Show how they use their wealth. 

Twas once his manly, honest boast 
That she was very smart ; 

That from her savings long ago 
He got his early start. 

Tis said that miserly he grew 

And scrimped and pinched his gold, 

And every hardship gave to her, 
And every luxury sold. 

His frequent trips to city 

With buoyant hopes and pride, 

The sight of many handsome ones 
Made him neglect his bride. 

And now his heart is harder, 
And now her face is old ; 

While larger grow their riches, 
His iron heart grows cold. 

Dame Gossip tells a story 

A woman in the case- 
But he rides on in glory, 

And wears a smiling face. 

A deacon and director 

A man of solid make 
lie would but she is in the way 

High social standing take. 



MAIDENS. 135 

And now, would you believe it ? 

He bribes a wicked one 
To claim he s been too intimate 

Confesses what he s done ! 

A bill details the muddy lines, 

And words unfit to say, 
That he would break the wedded bonds, 

And cast his wife away. 

His wife who toiled so faithfully, 

Whose wrinkles tell of care, 
Who bore him four bright children. 

Who wears, now, silver hair : 

By threats and low devices, 

He gains her name to deeds ; 
Poor soul ! In agony like death, 

What knows she what she reads ? 

The lawyers hear her story, 

The bill is quickly do no. 
He gets his eight-tenths of the wealth, 

And she gets barely one. 

The press has heard the story, 

The press repeats her cry, 
They raise a furore on the streets, 

They will not pass it by ! 

With ample wealth from banks and stocks, 

He fetters not the press ; 
The more he tries to hush it up 

The less it stops, and less. 



PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Blind justice with her even scales 

Stands silent, listening by, 
As tempting gold is tendered her 

By agents ever nigh. 

But sturdy sense is at the helm. 

And justice will be done ; 
The deed s revoked, the Courts undo 

The wicked work he s done. 

And she applies and prayers are heard, 

To save a reckless wreck ; 
And he flics with his heart s desire, 

Whose charms ensnare his neck. 

So parted, yet so desolate, 

She bears the cruel shame , 
The woman ever bears the cross, 

While man is most to blame. 

Detroit Commercial Advertiser 



HOW TO CHOOSE A WIFE. 




E SURE and have plenty of light on the subject. 

Look before you loup, ye ll ken better where to 
leet. ScottisJi Proverb. 

No light like candle light. Choose neither jewels 
nor women, nor linen by candle light. 

By candle light a goat looks a lady. 
The night shows stars and women in a better light. 
If you want a wife, choose her on Saturday, and not on Sunday. 
Nice feathers make fine fowls. 
No woman is ugly when she is dressed. 
Handsome is not what is handsome, but what pleases. 
Never seemed a prison fair nor mistress foul. 
He whose fair one squints says she ogles. 
The swarthy dame, dressed fine, decries the fair one 
The fairer the hostess the fouler the reckoning. 
A handsome landlady is bad for the purse, for this among other 
reasons that if the landlady is fair, the wine too is fair. 

A bonny bride is sune buskit. (Buskit dressed. She needs 
little adornment to enhance her charms.) * 



ROYAL MATCH-MAKING. 

When the present King of the Belgians, after an absence of 
some years, paid a visit to his former friend, the Duke of Orleans 



139 



14 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

(Louis Phillippc), his Majesty of the French said to him, " Well 
now, you will want a wife. I have three charming girls. My 
Louisa is fair and flaxen ; my Maria is brown, and black-haired; 
my Clementine is, perhaps, too young for you : but you shall see 
them ah, and it is a hard thing indeed if one will not please you." 

He was not long before he made his choice, and the fair and sweet 
Louisa soon became Queen of the Belgians. 

COMPLYING, VET DENYING. 

Banker Goldschmidt "Judge Ingcrsoll, my son would esteem 
it hi.-, highest good fortune if you would bestow upon him one of 
your girls." 

Judge Ingcrsoll " And which of my girls docs your son fancy ? 

Banker Goldschmidt " I will call him, so that he can say for 
himself." 

Judge Ingcrsoll " And I will call my girls, so that he can make 
a choice for himself in their favor." 

(Calls servant girls.J Confusion and disappointment. 

LOYK THINK EQUAL. 
Oh ! wisest of the wise is he 
Who first within his spirit knew 
And with his tongue declared it true, 
That love comes best that comes unto 

The equal of degree! 
And that the poor and that the low 
Should seek no love from those above, 
Whose souls are fluttered with the flow 
Of airs about their golden height, 
Or proud because they see around 

Ancestral " crowns of light." 

Elisabeth Barrett Browning. 



MATCH-MAKING. 141 

The end is to have two made one 
In will and affection. Ben Jolmson. 

In the rich woman s house she commands always, he never. 

He that marries for a dower, turns his back on freedom. 

She hauds up her head like a hen drinking water. 

Your wife and your nag get from a neighbor. 

He that goes far to marry, goes to be deceived or to deceive. 
The politic Lord Burleigh seems to have regarded this " going far 
to deceive " as a very proper thing to be done for the advancement 
of a man s fortune. In his " Advice to his Son," he says, " If thy 
estate be good, match near home and at leisure ; if weak, afar off 
and quickly." There is an ugly cunning in that word quickly. 

CONTENTED POVERTY. 

Cleon hath a million acres ne er a one have I ; 
Cleon dwelleth in a palace in a cottage, I ; 
Cleon hath a dozen fortunes not a penny, I ; 
But the poorer of the twain is Cleon, and not I. 

Cleon, true, possesseth acres but the landscape, I ; 
Half the charms to me it yieldeth, money cannot buy ; 
Cleon harbors sloth and dullness freshening vigor, I ; 
He in velvet, I in fustian ; richer man am I. 

Cleon is a slave to grandeur free as thought am I ; 
Cleon fees a score of doctors need of none have I ; 
Wealth-surrounded, care-environed, Cleon fears to die ; 
Death may come he ll find me ready happier man am I 

Cleon sees no charm in Nature in a daisy, 1 ; 
Cleon hears no anthem ringing in the sea and sky, 
Nature sings to me forever earnest listener, I ; 
State for state, with all attendants, who would change ? Not 1 

Charles McKay. 



142 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

VIRTUE BEFORE RICHES. 

Themistocles had a daughter, to whom two men were wishing 
to make love ; one was very rich, but a simpleton, and the other 
poor, but a very wise man. The father preferred the latter, saying, 
" I would rather have a man without riches, than riches without a 
man." 

" The primal duties shine aloft like stars ; 
The charities that soothe, and heal, and bless, 
Are scattered at their feet like flowers ; 
The generous inclination, the just rule, 
Kind wishes, and good actions, and pure thoughts. 
No mystery is here, no special boon 
For high, and not for low, for proudly graced, 
And not for meek of heart. The smoke ascends 
To hcaxcn as lightly from the cottage hearth 
As from the haughty palace. He, whose soul 
Ponders this true equality, may walk 
The fields of earth with gratitude and hope." 



A. X U X E Q U A L YOKE. 

Those excellent, well-meaning, and highly philanthropical young 
women who, with marvellous temerity, marry men as they ex 
press it to reform them, vainly imagining that they will have 
more power over them after marriage than before, generally grossly 
miscalculate their influence, and find that ti\z forming is done from 
the other side with a de, rather than a ie, prefix. In other words, 
the would-be reformer of another is herself deformed by another. 
These good Samaritans " reckon without their host," and strongly 
remind us of an enterprising American farmer who, doubtless with 
a very laudable intent, conceived the idea of training a call to early 
labor by first putting his own neck in the yoke with it ; but the 
bovine brain not being capable of apprehending the very benevo 
lent design of his owner, and being somewhat alarmed at seeing a 



MATCH-MAKING 143 

human face in such close proximity to his own, at once took fright 
and incontinently ran away, dragging his disconcerted and unequal 
yoke-fellow along with him into some very unfrequented paths, and 
at a remarkably unusual rate of speed withal : the man having all 
the disadvantage when thus bound neck and neck with the brute, 
and all that he could do under the curious and self-created circum 
stances was to solicit the commiseration of the by-passers, and ask 
their aid, as he expressed it, to "head us of, head us off." Moral : 
Don t yoke yourself with a calf. 

Neither should any light and trivial reasons determine your 
course in such an important matter as this ; such as merely to 
" grace a holiday," and " make a sensation," or to " form a second 
couple at a wedding," and " surprise somebody ;" or from a mere 
pique at being jilted, which is merely cutting off the nose to spite 
the face ; or for testing the bare novelty of the marriage relation, 
just out of a mere love of variety, like the fair and fickle French 
woman, of whom we have heard, who wished to die just for the 
change ;" rushing into this grave situation as lightly as did thv. 
young man who, when asked why he got married, flippantly re 
plied, " So as to have something to look at on Sundays." 

Oh ! a thousand unworthy motives have led persons of both 
sexes to assume these great responsibilities, and to glibly " tie a 
knot with their tongue which they could not undo with their teeth/ 
though we have seen them " set their teeth" hard enough afterwards. 
It was not till the important and indissoluble contract was made., 
and the solemn and inviolable compact entered into, that they fully 
awoke to the gravity of the inexorable situation! 



v Ye maidens fair, consider well, 

And look both shrewd and sly, 
Ere rev rend lips make good the knot 
Your teeth will ne er untie." 



144 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

The adopted daughter of a North Carolina farmer ran away and 
returned to the family hovel on the mountain. A neighbor looking 
for her stray cows came across her standing in the door, and accep 
ted an invitation to enter. Looking around at the squalor and 
filth, she exclaimed, "I don t see, Sallie, what made you leave them 
good folks, where everything was so nice and neat." " Wa ll," was 
the reply, "you see, I was just gorged with neatness." 



A marriage that saved a life sentence was solemnized recently 
in Wisconsin. A woman who was charged with murdering her 
husband was tried, convicted, and sentenced to the State prison for 
life, but the Supreme Court granted her a new trial, and on the 
second trial the jury disagreed. Since then she has married the 
principal witness against her, which renders his testimony worth 
less. She made an application to have her bondsmen relieved by 
giving her own bond in the sum of $8,000, which was granted. She 
having married the State s most valuable witness, and the other 
witnesses being widely scattered, it is not likely that the case will 
ever be called. The accused woman displayed remarkable craft in 
effecting this marriage, but neither the State nor the b; degroom 
can be congratulated on the affair. If the woman is really guilty, 
the marriage does no more for her than enable her to evade justice. 
It is not so in the scheme of salvation provided in the gospel for 
guilty sinners. Their union with Christ, of which marriage is a 
type, completely satisfies justice, the penalty having been suffered 
by the innocent Victim. Christian Herald. 



A bride of an hour appeared in a Circuit Court in Illinois last 
week, as an applicant for a divorce. She stated that about three 
years ago a young man became a suitor for her hand, and she ac 
cepted him on condition that he could provide her with a home. 



MATCH-MAKING. 145 

The young man seemed to have some difficulty in fulfilling the con 
dition, and the engagement went on from month to month, until 
the lady began to get tired. Recently, however, the editor informed 
her that a home was ready for her, and the marriage was celebra 
ted. An hour afterward, when the bride wished her parents fare 
well and was about to depart with her husband, the latter told her 
that they were going to boarding, and that he had been unable to 
provide a house to themselves. She was much incensed at this 
evasion, and said she did not consider a boarding-house a home. 
She finally refused to go with him, and taking off her wraps de 
clared she would remain at home. She did so, and commenced a 
suit for divorce, which was granted her last week, with the right to 
resume her maiden name. So ends that marriage, in which then- 
was evidently little love on either side. How different is the union 
between Christ and His Church, which Paul describes under the 
type of a marriage. The heavenly Bridegroom has prepared a 
mansion for His bride (John 14, 2), and she is ready to endure pov 
erty for His sake (Rom. 5, $-$). Christian Herald. 



- - 



THE CHOICE OF A WIFE IN CLASSIC TIMES. 

The choice of a wife was but rarely grounded upon affection, 
and scarcely ever could have been the result of previous acquaint 
ance or familiarity. In many cases a father chose for his son a 
bride whom the latter had never seen, or compelled him to marry 
for the sake of checking his extravagance. Nor was the consent of 
a female to a match proposed for her generally thought necessary : 
she was obliged to submit to the wishes of her parents, and receive 
from them, it might be a stranger, for her husband and lord. The 
result of marriages contracted in this way would naturally be a 
want of confidence and mutual understanding between husband and 
wife, until they became better acquainted with, and accustomed to 



146 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

each other. Xenophon illustrates this with much naivete in the 
person of Ischomachus, who says of his newly-married wife, "When 
at last she was manageable and getting tame, so that I could talk 
with her, I askccl her, c. Anthorfs Greece. 



MARRIAGE A LOTTKRV. 

In Afghanistan, when two families arc negotiating a marriage, 
an omen is consulted in the following manner : Several slips of 
paper are cut up, and on the half of them is written " To be," and 
on the other half "Not to be." These pieces of paper are placed 
under a praying carpet, and the anxious father devoutly raises his 
hands in prayer to God for guidance, and expresses his submission 
to the all-wise decree of the Almighty in the matter of his son s or 
daughter s marriage. Then, putting his hand under the carpet, he 
draws out a paper. If on it should be written " To be," he thinks 
the marriage is ordained of God ; if " Not to be," no overture or 
negotiation will be listened to. Sometimes, however, the interests 
of State, or the value of the dowry, or the termination of a long 
standing blood feud will induce the pious Chieftain to put aside the 
omen as having been influenced by the powers of darkness. 



AVOID VAIN PRETEXTS FOR MARRIAGE. 

" Tis well to woe, tis good to wed, 

For so the world has done 
Since myrtles grew and roses blew, 

And morning brought the sun ; 

But have a care, ye young and fair, 

Be sure ye pledge the truth ; 
Be certain that your love will wear 

Beyond the days of youth ; 



MATCH-MAKING. 147 

For if ye give not heart for heart, 

As well as hand for hand, 
You ll find you ve played the " unwise " part, 

And "built upon the sand." 

Tis well to save, tis well to have 

A goodly store ot gold ; 
And hold enongh of shining stuff, 

For charity is cold ; 

But place not all your hope and trust 

In what the deep mine brings ; 
We cannot live on yellow dust 

Unmixed with purer things. 

And he who piles up wealth alone, 

Will often have to stand 
Beside his coffer chest, and own, 

Tis " built upon the sand." 

Tis good to speak in kindly guise, 

And soothe where er we can ; 
Fair speech should bind the human mind, 

And love link man to man. 

But stay not at the gentle words, 

Let deeds with language dwell ; 
The one who pities starving birds, 

Should scatter crumbs as well. 

The mercy that is warm and true 

Must lend a helping hand ; 
For those who talk, yet fail to do, 

But " build upon the sand." 



PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

On the other hand many of our witty youths and cunning 
nymphs, of the marriageable fair, assign very vain and vapory 
leasons for preferring the single state, or for continuing in celibacy. 
11 They don t wish to bury their young days." " When persons arc 
married their young days are over." They "have seen enough of 
that in others," &c. 



"The duke of Nivernois was acquainted with the Countess dc 
Rochefort, and never omitted going to see her a single evenin^. 
As she \vas a widow and he a widower, one of his friends observed 
to him, it would be more convenient for him to marry that lad}-. 
" I have thought so," said he, "but one thing prevents me ; in thai 
case, where should I spend my evenings?" 



And the following anecdote is, of course, in everybody s mouth 
of a good father, who wished to dissuade his daughter from all 
thoughts of matrimony, quoted the words : " She who marries doeth 
well, but she who marries not, docth better." The daughter meekly 
replied : " Father, I am content to do well ; let those do better 
who can." 

~^| ?=*/. 

We commend that young lady for her provident wisdom ; and 
we have some sympathy with a mother who evinces a pardonable 
solicitude for her daughters in this direction, the following para 
graph notwithstanding : 

" It must be owned that my witc laid a thousand schemes to 
entrap him ; or, to speak more tenderly, used every art to magnify 
the merit of her daughter. If the cakes at tea ate short and crisp, 
they were made by Olivia ; if the gooseberry wine was well-knit, 
the gooseberries were of her gathering ; it was her fingers that gave 
the pickles their peculiar green ; and in the composition of a pud- 



MATCH-MAKING. 149 

ding, it was her judgment that mixed the ingredients. Then the 
poor woman would sometimes tell the Squire that she thought him 
and Olivia extremely of a size, and would bid both stand up to see 
which was the tallest. These instances of cunning, which she 
thought impenetrable, yet which everybody saw through, were very 
pleasing to our benefactor, who gave every day some new proofs of 
his passion, which, though they had not arisen to proposals of mar 
riage, yet we thought fell but little short of it ; and his slowness 
was attributed sometimes to native bashfulness, and sometimes to 
his fear of offending his uncle." 



STYLISH LIVING. 

" Friend H - why have you never married ?" 

The prompt answer was : " I cannot afford to. The girls in my 
stratum of society nowadays are not satisfied without diamonds, 
sealskins, and opera-tickets, and my small income can t afford that. 

So a warm-hearted man travels the life-journey alone, when, for 
his own sake, and for some good woman s sake, he ought to be 
mated. What H said, half in sport, has a serious side to it. 
There is no doubt that hundreds of young men deny themselves a 
wife, because they cannot support a wife who has extravagant no 
tions of living. 

Every young woman is not clean daft" on the subject of 
stylish living : there are as sensible girls left in this world as there 
were when Solomon wrote the Book of Proverbs. A friend of mine, 
who had just learned his trade, said to the young lady he loved : 
" You are having offers from young men in handsome circumstances. 
If you marry me I can promise you, for a while, nothing better than 
an upper story of a boarding-house." 

She admired his frankness, and had sense enough to know that 
the genuine love of a pure and noble young man was a greater 



PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

prize than a parlor carpeted with Wilton and a wardrobe filled with 
satin and point lace. She married him, and he fought his way up 
to become a prosperous head of a firm in Broadway. If she had 
sold her maidenly heart for money she would have cheated herself 
deplorably. There is but one single, valid motive for wedlock, and 
that is pure, old-fashioned love a love strong enough to stand any 
strain and to bear every pressure. 

Probably there never was a marital union that did not involve 
a single particle of friction ; and simply because no man is a demi 
god and no woman a sinless angel. But even a few and inevitable 
frictions will not wear on the "rivets" if they arc kept well-oiled 
with unselfish love. When wedded in the Lord, and wedded for 
heaven, they can bear an occasional disagreement of taste or judg 
ment, or a few disappointments, and not love each other one whit 
the less. What cuts a wedding-ring through the soonest is wilful 
neglect. Dr. T. L. Cuyler, in Brooklyn Advance. 



"THE MAN THAT HAS THE BUGGY S GIRL." 

She was only twenty months old, but, like every other child, 
constantly surprising her parents with wise sayings. When asked, 
"Whose girl is Ella?" the invariable answer was, " Papa s girl," or 
" Mamma s girl," according to which parent happened to be more 
in favor for the moment. 

But a new clement had come into the family, a gay, young belle 
of an aunt, whose numerous admirers came to take her walking 

o 

riding and driving. Ella s rides were few, and, much to her won 
der and chagrin, she was never invited. She was enviously watch 
ing the departing aunt, when we asked her to-day, " Whose girl is 
Ella ?" With a shrewd twinkle of worldly wisdom lighting up her 
eyes, she answered, " The man that has the buggy s girl." 



MATCH -MAKING. I 5 I 

We all laughed. Papa moralized a little. " That s the way of 
the feminine world : but you arc learning too young my child ;"and 
went his way to the store. 



RICH AND POOR MAN. 

"So goes the world if wealthy you may call 
This, friend, that, brother ; friends and brothers all ; 
Though you arc worthless witless never mind it, 
You may have been a stable-boy what then ? 
Tis wealth, good sir, makes honorable men. 
You seek respect, no doubt, and you will find it. 

But, if you are poor, heaven help you ! though your sire 

Had royal blood within him, and though you 

Possess the intellect of angels, too, 

Tis all in vain the world will ne er inquire 

On such a score. Why should it take the pains? 

Tis easier to weigh purses, sure, than brains. 

I once saw a poor fellow, keen and clever, 

Witty and wise : he paid a man a visit, 

And no one noticed him, and no one ever 

Gave him a welcome. Strange, cried 1, whence is it?" 

He walked on this side, then on that, 

He tried to introduce a social chat ; 

Now here, now there, in vain he tried ; 

Some formally and frcczingly replied, and some 

Said, by their silence Better stay at home." 

A rich man burst the door, 

As Croesus rich ; I m sure 

He could not pride himself upon his wit, 



15- PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

And as for wisdom, he had none of it 
He had what s better he had wealth. 

What a confusion 1 all stand up erect 
These crowd around to ask him of his health ; 

These bow in honest duty and respect ; 
And these arrange a sofa or a chair, 
And these conduct him there. 
Allow me, sir, the honor ;" then a bow 
Down to the earth Is t possible to show 
Meet gratitude for such kind condescension ? 

The poor man hung his head, 

And, to himself, he said, 
This i^> indeed beyond my comprehension : 

Then looking round, 

One friendly face he found, 

And said, Pray tell me why is wealth preferred, 
To wisdom ? That s a silly question, friend ! 
Replied the other have you never heard, 

A man may lend his store 

Of gold, or silver ore, 
But wisdom none can borrow, none can lend ? " 

SIR \YALTER RALKKlIl S VENAL LETTER TO HIS SON. 

" Believe thy father in this, and print it in thy thought, that 
what virtue soever thou hast, be it ever so manifold, if thou be poor 
withal, thou and thy qualities shall be despised. Besides, poverty 
is oftentimes sent as a curse of God ; it is a shame amongst men, 
an imprisonment of the mind, a vexation of every worthy spirit ; 
thou shalt neither hcip thyself nor others ; thou shalt drown theein 
all thy virtues, having no means to shun them ; thou shalt be a 



MATCH-MAKING. 153 

burden and an eyesore to thy friends ; every man will fear thy 
company ; thou shalt be driven basely to beg and depend on others, 
to flatter unworthy men, to make dishonest shifts ; and, to conclude 
poverty provokes a man to do infamous and detested deeds. Let 
vanity, therefore, or persuasion, draw thee to that waste of worldly 
miseries. If thou be rich, it will give thee pleasure and health ; 
keep thy mind and body free, save thee from many perils, relieve 
thcc in thy elder years, relieve the poor and thy honest friends, and 
give means to thy posterity to live and defend themselves and thine 
own fame." 

Be sure thou marry for love, but mind that thou lovest only 
what is lovely. 

Tears are shed on God s altar for the one who forsakes his first 

love. 

The children of a man who marries for money will prove a curse 

to him. 

Love thy wife as thyself, honor her more than thyself. 

He who loves his wife as himself, and honors her more than 
himself, will train his children properly ; he will meet the fulfilment 
of the verse, and thou shalt know that there is peace in thy tent, 
and thou wilt look over thy habitation and miss nothing. Proverbs, 
chiefly from the Talmud. 

" A good wife is like a snail. Why ? Because she keeps in her 
own house. A good wife is not like a snail. Why ? Because she 
does not carry her all on her back. A good wife is like a town 
clock. Why ? Because she keeps good time. A good wife is not 
like a town clock. Why ? Because she does not speak so loud 
that all the town can hear her. A good wife is like an echo. Why? 
Because she speaks when spoken to. A good wile is not like an 
echo. Why ? Because she does not tell all she hears. 



154 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

A ROYAL MATCHMAKER OUTWITTED. 

Going one day from Potsdam to Berlin, Frederick, writes Col 
onel Brackenbury, in his biography of the Prussian monarch, saw 
coming towards him in the opposite direction a magnificent girl, 
young, handsome, and of good figure, superb in the number of 
inches. He was at once struck with admiration for her, stopped to 
talk, and found that she was unmarried, and was on her way from 
Berlin to her Saxon home. "Then," said Frederick William, "you 
will be passing the gates of Potsdam, and will no doubt give this 
note to the commandant, receiving a dollar for your trouble." But 
women, even when tall, are not easily outwitted. The girl knew 
the king by sight and reputation, and, knowing that to refuse the 
note would probably bring her a shower of blows from the ratan. 
accepted the commission. Arriving near the gate of Potsdam, she 
found there a little weazened hag, to whom she entrusted the de 
livery of the letter, giving the dollar with it. Forthwith she sped 
away towards home. The commandant opened the note, and found 
himself ordered to marry the bearer to a certain gigantic Irish 
grenadier named Macdoll (? McDowall). He rubbed his eyes, but 
there could be no doubt about the clearness of the command. The 
grenadier was sent for, and then began a curious scene. The man 
was in despair. Such a mate for one of his thews and sinews 
seemed a horrible mockery. The proposed wife, on the contrary, 
was quite ready to submit herself to the orders of the king. There 
was no escape ; to refuse further would be flat mutiny, and the 
soldier was actually obliged to obey. The mistake was not discov 
ered till the next morning, when Frederick, finding himself thwart 
ed in his designs for the development of giants in Germany, con 
sented to the divorce of the ill-matched couple." 



A young girl, who seems to know what she is talking about, 
objects to the criticisms which make it appear that those of her sex 



MATCH-MAKING. ! 55 

who arc true and womanly arc scarce ; and she wishes to know 
whether it is necessary, when a young lady is receiving company 
in the parlor, that she shall lug in beefsteaks, washtubs, scrubbing 
brushes and smoothing irons, in order to convince a lot of ninnies 
of young men that she can work in the kitchen. 

My daughter, when you note that the man who wants to marry 
you is just too awfully anxious to learn whether you can bake a 
loaf of bread or wash a shirt with Chinese dexterity, before you 
close the negotiations do you just fly around and ascertain if that 
man is either able or willing to earn enough flour to bake a biscuit, 
and if he has paid for the shirt he wants you to wash. Nine times 
out of ten, daughter, the man who only wants to marry a house 
keeper can be kept more economically in the workhouse than he 
can in your father s house. Burdette. 



A FRIENDLY WARNING. 

Ye maidens be not " thralls," 
By Mammon bought and sold 

Nor long for marble halls- 
While love is stark and cold. 

Consider, ere you say, 
The acquiesing " yes,"- 

The gold that makes you gay, 
May bring you sore distress. 

The body s more than meat : 
And life is more than style ; 

Hard toil with love is sweet, 
Compared with splendid guile. 

The classic lantern take 
And seek an honest man : 



[56 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

The horny hand may make 
More bliss than riches can. 

Yon lorclling, puffed with pride, 

Forbid to charm your eye ; 
He ll win you, then deride, 

And pass you heedless by. 

I see a shining net 

Prepared for beauty, sweet , 
Back ! back ! ! I say, nor let 

That snare entice your fccU 

The matrimonial yoke 

May prove the lariat s noose : 
And fairest " gentle folk," 

Will foulest vice-traps use. 

Look well before you leap ; 

The gates lock fast behind : 
Your heart bid prudence keep, 

And grace control your mind. 

PLAYING ON THE GRIDIRON. 

The Hebrew Leader tells a good story and appends a moral : 
" A young lady of big accomplishments (and no pride) in the 
absence of the servant, stepped to the door on the ringing which 
announced a visit from one of her admirers. On entering, the beau 
glancing at the harp and piano which stood in the apartment, ex 
claimed, I thought I heard music ; on which instrument were you 
performing, Miss? On the gridiron, sir, with an accompaniment 
of the frying pan! she replied ; my mother is without help, and 



MATCH-MAKING. 157 

she says I must learn to finger these instruments sooner or later, 
and I have this day commenced taking a course of lessons." This 
is part of the Leader s Moral : " Those who are brought up to work 
in the country, and go to the city and make a fortune, indulge in 
the false pride of training their children to despise labor, which was 
the birthright of their parents, and make it a point to decry honest 
toil, in which they were themselves reared, and to which all their 
relatives are still devoted. This is a mushroom aristocracy and the 
most contemtible of all." 



THE MODERN F.ELLE 

"She sits in an elegant parlor, 

And rocks in her easy cha r 
She is clad in silks and satins, 

And jewels are in her hair ; 
She winks and giggles and simpers 

And simpers and giggles and winks ; 
And though she talks but little, 

Tis a good deal more than she thinks. 

She lies abed in the morning 

Till near the hour of noon, 
Then comes down snapping and snarling 

Because she was called so soon ; 
Her hair is still in papers, 

Her cheeks still fresh with paint 
Remains of her last night s blushes, 

Before she intended to faint. 

She dotes upon men unshaven, 
And men with c flowing hair ; 

She s eloquent over moustaches, 
They give such a foreign air. 



158 1-KOl OSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

She talks of Italian music, 

And falls in love with the moon ; 

And if a mouse were to meet her, 
She would sink away in a swoon. 

Her feet arc so very little, 

Her hands are so very white, 
Her jewels so very heavy, 

And her head so very light ; 
Her color is made cf cosmetics, 

(Though this she will never own) ; 
Her body is mostly of cotton, 

Her heart is made wholly of stone. 

She falls in love with a fellow 
Who swells with a foreign air-, 

He marries her for her money, 
She marries him for his hair ! 

One of the very best matches 
Both arc well mated in life ; 

She s got a fool for a husband, 



He s got a fool for a wife ! 



Christian Guardian. 




ADVICE TO CELIBATES. 



Delay doth oftentimes prevent the performance of good things, for the 
wings of man s life are plumed with the feathers of death. SIR WALTER 
RALEIGH. 




HERE is an old proverb, familiar to all, which says 
" delays are dangerous." And this is no less true in 
matters of love than in the common affairs of life. 
Hesitation grows on a man. Diffidence, like every 
thing else, increases with nourishment. Give it no place. 
Now the tide of life is at the flood. Lose not the up-going 
stream ; but " launch out into the deep." Let nothing prevent you. 
Head winds don t last forever. The skilful seaman tacks about and 
makes all breezes helpful. " He that observeth the wind shall not 
sow ; and he that regardeth the clouds shall not reap." Set sail, 
young man. Every captain needs a mate. It is dreary work sail 
ing alone. We never see a bachelor, but we seem to hear the wail 
of the solitary, sea-tossed : 

"Alone, alone, all, all alone ! 
Alone on the wide, wide sea !" 

Don t go forth on the untried deep without company. Commence 
your voyage in a craft with a double name. If not the twin-sign 
of the heathen, " Castor and Pollux," the name of the Apostle s 
home-going boat yet under the less classic, but more Christian 



1 60 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

name of " Thomas and Mary)" or Richard and Sarah," as the case 
may be. Come, friend, pluck up heart. Reason urges it. Custom 
favors it. Instinct prompts it, and nought but self forbids it. 

Xo\v is the time, 

With youth in its prime. 



" Begin, be bold, and venture to be wise : 

lie who defers this work from day to day, 

Does on a river s bank expecting stay, 

Till the whole stream that stopped him shall be gone, 

Which runs, and as it runs, forever shall run on." 

O, fair is youth s bright morning. Hope beguiles you in the 
distant horizon. Hope! of which, in its Christian acceptation, 
Adams says : " Hope is the sweetest friend that ever kept a dis 
tressed soul company ; it beguiles the tecliousncss of the way and 
all the miseries of our pilgrimage. It tells the soul such sweet 
stories of the succeeding joys ; what comforts there arc in heaven : 
what peace, what triumphs, marriage songs and hallelujahs there 
are in that country whither she is drifting, that she goes merrily 
away with her present burden." 

Youth is buoyant with cxpcctatation, bright with animating 
hope. Old age (so far as this life goes), has done with it. Know, 
then, your time, ye youthful band, and " whatsoever your hands find 
to do, do it with your might." 

When you sec a duty, do it; 

When you find life s beauty, know it ; 

Joy is offered, don t forego it. 

And do not mourn away your time, and lose one half the day of 
most inviting opportunity at the instance of your own fruitless in 
decision, as did he, of whom himself hath sung : 



MATCH-MAKING. i6l 

" I reach a duty, yet I do it not, 

And therefore see no higher." 
My view is darkened, and another spot 

Seen on my moral sun. 

For, be the duty light as angel s flight, 

Fulfil it, and a higher will arise, 
E en from its ashes. Duty is infinite. 

Receding as the skies. 

And thus it is the purest must deplore 
Their want of purity. As fold by fold, 

In duties done, falls from their eyes, the more 
Of duty they behold 

Robert LeigJiton. 



The inconstant man changes his apparel as fast as his thought 
As a verb, he knows only the present tense. He resolves not tc 
resolve. He knows not what he doth hold. He opens his mine 
to receive notions, as one opens his palm to take a handful of water 
he hath very much if he could hold it. He is sure to die, but know- 
not what religion to die in. In a controverted point, he holds with 
the last reasoner he either heard or read. He will rather take dross 
for gold than try it in the furnace. He receives many judgments. 
retains none ; embraces so many faiths that he is little better than 
an infidel. He is almost weary of the sun for perpetual shining. 
He is full of business at church, a stranger at home, a sceptic 
abroad, everywhere a fool. Adams. 



The best standard of life is to adopt a course which it would be 
safe for all men to follow, not consulting our own ease or tastes or 
pleasant inclinations, but asking what is wisest, truest, best. It is 
easy to cajole one s self into the belief that our own way is the most 
excellent and praiseworthy ; to think that we " are the men, and 



1 62 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

that wisdom shall die with us ;" even going so far as to sing in our 
bachelor dungeons, and to dote on that more specious form of soli 
tary confinement known by the name of single blessedness ;" but 
in the end we shall find it is not good for man to be alone," even 
though at the present he may put a bold face on the matter, and go 
forth in life whistling the airs of freedom or singing the song of 
the tramp : 

" On the tramp, with my bag on my bacu, 

I m free as a lord or a king ; 
I am ready to work when I can, 

And when I can t work I can sing ! 

The green lanes, and the fields, and the hills 

Arc ever my dearest delight- 
Counting stars, as a nun counts her beads, 

I drop off to slumber at night ! 

I am up with the morn, and a-foot 
While town-folks are sleeping in bed, 

Gentle birds sing their grace to my meals 
I ve never yet wanted for bread ! 

The bustle and noise of the city 

My thoughts and my feelings confuse ; 

And I m never so happy a man 

As when I can tramp it and muse !" 








sfis 




O Geldcn jok ! round, light aad fair 
Which links iu oue a wedded pair ! 
How sweet tbe burdeu lore dotu bear ; 
How bright the badge fair lovers wear ! 



- 





IS oftentimes said of love, that it is not under the 
control of the will, nor at the option of any one, 
but that it simply "goes where it is sent." We would 
that some oracle would tell us by what power, and by 
whom it is sent. We certainly cannot for a moment 
allow that the <; tender passion," as we see it to-day, is 
ever and always under the guidance of a divine will, or that it can 
boast a celestial origin. It is too wayward, carnal, headstrong for 
that ; too inconstant, capricious, contradictory, variable and pur 
blind to be of heavenly birth. Well may Cupid be painted as a 
child, and with wings, for who knows what trick he will play next, 
or whither he will fly, or where alight ? Behold how love dotes in 
the old ! How it vapors in the young ! How it vaunts itself in 
middle age ! How it unites the dissimilar ! How it couples the 
incongruous ! How it merges the incompatible ! How it babbles 
all it knows in Samson ! How it loses its head in Solomon ! How 
it forgets itself (to use a euphemism) in David ! How it changes 
color and suddenly transforms itself in Ammon ! How, on the 
other hand, it makes the time to go in Jacob ! How it sports itself 
in even the venerable Isaace ! How it creates a world of its own, 
and crowds its universe into the compass of one fair object, even as 
a certain philosopher conceived that the whole globe might be com 
pressed into the dimensions of a nutshell. Love knows no law, 
brooks no restraint, heeds no counsel, feels no age ! 

105 



KVERY MAN ORIGINAL IN LOVE-MAKING. 




ROBABLY there is no instance," said Sir Arthur Helps, 
" in which any two lovers have made love in exactly 
x ^~ the same way as any two other lovers since the world 
/ began." 



. *, XJ 

fj^ Cobbett s wife is said to have caught him by the 

grace with which she used the wash-tub ; but she was, 
it is said, never known to use it after the wedding. 

Charlemagne s secretary was caught by a snow-storm while 
courting the Emperor s daughter at midnight, and she carried him 
home on her back, so that his footsteps should not be traced. The 
Emperor heard of it, took it in good part, and gave the fair burden- 
carrier to her precious " load." 



It did not, unfortunately, fare so well with one of Crom 
well s servants, whom he caught on his knees before his august 
daughter, pleading for her love, and who, on sternly demanding 
" what this all meant," was informed by the trembling suppliant, 
that he was merely beseeching her ladyship to intercede for him 
with one of her maids-in-waiting. The grim Protector at once 
summoned the lady in question into his presence, and asked her if 
she had any objection to receiving the gentleman s attentions, and 

ICC 



PROPOSAL. 167 

she, finding it a " chance " far beyond her reasonable expectations, 
replied in the negative ; and, lo ! the match and marriage were 
made on " short orders ;" the gruff Commonwealth himself superin 
tending the proceedings, and looking most determinedly on. 



" In olden times it was the fashion for a suitor to go ciown on his 
knees to a lady when he asked her to become his wife, which, with 
very stout gentlemen, was an uncomfortable proceeding. The way 
in which Daniel Webster proposed to Miss Fletcher was more 
modern, being at the same time neat and poetic. Like many other 
lovers, he was caught holding a skein of thread or wool, which the 
lady had been unravelling. Grace, said he, we have been unty- 
intr knots. Let us see if we can tie one which will not untie in a 

o 

lifetime. With a piece of tape he fashioned half a true-lover s 
knot, Miss Fletcher perfected it, and a kiss put the seal to the sym 
bolical bargain. Most men arc more straightforward and matter- 
of-fact." 

"Richard Stecle wrote to the lady of his heart: Dear Mrs. 
Scurlock (there were no misses in those days), I am tired of calling 
you by that name, therefore say a day when you will take that of 
madam. Your most devoted, humble servant, Richard Stecle. She 
fixed the day accordingly, and Steeled her name instead of her 
heart to the suitor." 



" The celebrated preacher, Whitfield, proposed marriage to a 
young lady in a very cool manner as though Whitfield meant a 
field of ice. He addressed a letter to her parents, without consult 
ing the maiden, in which he said that they need not be at all afraid 
of offending him by a refusal, as he thanked God he was quite free 
from the passion called love. Of course the lady did not conclude 
that this field, however white, was the field for her." 



1 68 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

"The brothers Jacob and William Grimm, whose fairy storic.^ 
are doubtless kno\vn to man)- of our readers, were exceedingly at- 
tac ied to each other, and had no desire to be married. But it was 
thought proper by their friends that one of them should become a 
husband, and Jacob being the elder, it was agreed that he should 
be the one to enter the bonds of matrimony. A suitable lady was 
found, but Jacob declined to do the courting, requesting William to 
act as his agent. William consented, but soon found that he was 
in love, and wanted the lady fer himself. He could not think, 
however, of depriving his brother of such a treasure, and knew not 
how to act. An aunt kindly relieved him in his difficulty by telling 
Jacob, who willingly resigned the damsel to his brother, and went 
out -.1 the way till she had been made Mrs. William Grimm." 



" A Scotch beadle was the one who popped the question in the 
grimmest manner. He took his sweetheart into the graveyard, and 
showing her a dark corner, said, Mary, my folks lie there. Would 
you like to lie there, Mary ? Mary w r as a sensible lassie, and ex 
pressed her willingness to obtain the right to be buried near the 
beadle s relations Ijv uniting herself to him in wedlock." 



" A similar unromantic view of the subject was taken by another 
Scotch maiden. Upon her lover remarking, I think I ll marry 
thcc, Jean," she replied, Mai , Jock, I would be mucklc oblecged 
to ye if ye would ! " 

-- -- !. 11^ I 



now TIII-: KARKNNS PROPOSE. 



"Among the Karcnns of Burmah, marriages must accompany 
the celebration of funeral rites. These arc attended by the mar 
riageable women and eligible bachelors of the village in which the 



PROPOSAL. 169 

dead person has lived. Spectators of both sexes come in great 
numbers ; but their proceedings are limited to criticism and the 
picking up of ideas for future attempts of their own in the matri 
monial market. There arc, of course, numbers of old people pres 
ent, but whether they do honor to the obsequies of their former 
neighbor, in what Europeans consider the orthodox way, is not ap 
parent. It appears more likely that they come to observe the 
doings of their young charges. 

The marriageable young men and maidens separate into two 
chairs, and seats themselves on opposite sides of the remains, all of 
them being dressed in their gayest. The opening of the funeral 
service begins with a chorus by the men, celebrating the beauties of 
the Karenn maiden in general, her charms of movement and mod 
esty of carriage. The girls respond in a falsetto of the usual char 
acter, calmly accepting the eulogy of their graces, and making 
delicate allusions to the fifteen hundred desires, to some of which it 
is not impossible they may succumb. 

This preliminary being over, the actual business begins, and the 
young bachelors, each in his turn, delivers himself of a love-stricken 
song to the damsel, whether previously known or not, who has won 
his affections. 

The matter of the proposals thus publicly made is not, as a 
rule, very violently original. The girl is compared to a flower, to 
the hare in the moon, to the stars, to a rosary of emeralds or rubies, 
to a maid of the palace. It is asserted that she would ruin the 
peace of mind of a hermit, and bring him back to sober house 
keeping. No painter could copy her charms ; his picture would be 
a failure, and he would be infallibly knocked in the head by the 
singer for his impudence in venturing so hopeless an attempt. The 
once rejected suitor usually adopts the plaintive line ; he is so dis 
turbed in mind that he can neither eat nor drink ; he perspires so 
much with agitation that he will die before morning ; he is like the 



170 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

water-lily that fades away when the sun shines upon it ; he is like 
the sun itself, for he cannot rest in peace, but roams about vaunting 
the praises of his love through all the city and country side. It 
may naturally be thought that the girls thus publcly wooed ought 
to feel embarrassed. If they are, Karenn maidens show more than 
feminine tact in keeping concealed whatever awkwardness they 
may feel. They look as if they liked the situation, rather than 
otherwise. 

The answering of the proposal is a different matter. Ladies all 
the world over, in such circumstances, give answers which, common 
report says, ought not to be taken too literally. It is the same with 
the Karenn belle. . Her answer, as a rule, is stereotyped. All the 
praise is appropriated as little more than her just due. She de 
clares that it is a shameful thing not to be married, but it is a worse 
matter still to be divorced afterwards, to be like a dress that is 
washed ; but she will do what she is bid, though she cannot think 
of being aught but afraid of men yet, all of which makes the aspir 
ing lover grin with satisfaction. Occasionally, however, a sprightly 
damsel strikes out a line for herself. She hints that the song 
directed to her is rather niggardly in its praises. She is not going 
to sell herself under cost price. If people like to say she is mad 
after a husband, let them say so. She is not like day dim with the 
heat-haze, nor like a diamond that has lost the foil below to set it 
off, not like a peacock s tail dragged in the wet, the signification of 
which is that the wrong man has proposed to her, and the lucky 
swain will be a foolish man if her eyes do not let him know that his 
suing will have a pleasanter answer. 

Xow and then a man gets a direct refusal, and as it is difficult 
to invest a blunt No with melodious merit, the rejection is couched 
in somewhat the following fashion : Come to me when the full 
moon appears on the first day of the month. Come dressed in clothes 
that have never been stitched, and dress and comb before you wake. 



PROPOSAL. I 7 I 

Eat your rice before it is cooked, and come before daylight. Such 
episodes are, however, rare, and generally occur through a swain s 
applying for the hand of one who is generally known to be reserv 



ing herself for some other." 



ONE FORM OF PROPOSAL AMONG THE INDIANS. 

Among certain tribes of the Indians, the following manner of 
proposing is observed. If a young man resolves to marry, his rela 
tives and the minister advise him to a young woman of the tribe. 
He enters the wigwam where she is and looks upon her. If he 
likes her appearance he tosses a chip or stick into her lap, which 
she takes, and with, a reserved side look views the person who sent 
it, yet handles the chip with admiration, as though she wondered 
whence it came. If she likes him she throws the chip at him with 
a modest smile, and then nothing is wanting but a ceremony with 
the minister to consummate the nuptial tie. But if she dislikes her 
suitor, she with a surly countenance throws her chip aside, and he 
comes no more. 

Love," says one, " rules a kingdom of contrasts. Heine, dream 
ing of angels, marries a grisette. Freytag turns from a court to a 
kitchen. Bacon, master of philosophy, is joined to a woman with 
a loud voice, and dressed like a chamber-maid out on a holiday. 
And what is more pitiable than Keat s pouring out all the typical 
language of his soul at the feet of Fanny Brawn ? He a poet, she 
a common-place. Idolatry on the one hand ; a mixture of vanity 
and curiosity on the other." 



In Northern Siberia if a young native desires to marry, he goes 
to the father of the girl of his choice and a price is agreed upon, 
one-half of which is then paid down. The prospective son-in-law 



PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

at once takes up his residence with the family of his lady love, and 
resides with them a year. If at the end of a year he still desires to 
marry the girl, he can pay the other half, and they are married on 
the next visit of the priest. If he does not want to marry he need 
not, and simply loses the half he paid at the start. 



LEGAL COURTSHIP. 



Mr. Chitty relates an anecdote of a young attorney who had 
been carrying on a correspondence with a young lady, in which he 
had always, as he thought, expressed himself with the greatest cau 
tion. Finding, however, that he did not perform what he had led 
the lad)- to believe that he would, she brought an action for breach 
of promise of marriage against him. When his letters were pro 
duced on the trial, it appeared that he had always concluded _ "this, 
thont prejudice, yours faithfully, C. D." The judge facetiously 
ieft it to the jury to determine whether these concluding words, 
being from an attorney, did not mean that he did not intend any 
prejudice to the lady ; and the jury found accordingly. 



A UNIQUE PROPOSAL. 

A gentleman had long been paying attention to a young lady 
whom he was very anxious to marry, but could not screw his cour 
age to the sticking point. At last he resolved to take the first op 
portunity which presented itself of asking the momentous question. 
No sooner, however, had he formed this resolution than fortune 
seemed to desert him. He often met the fair one, but never could 
get the chance of speaking to her alone. Driven to desperation, he 
one day succeeded in accomplishing his purpose at a dinner-party. 
Now it is very easy to hold converse with the person who sits next 
to you at a dinner-party, and abstain from mentioning names ; but 
in this case the lady was on the opposite side of the table. He was, 
however, equal to the occasion, and, tearing out a leaf from a pocket 



PROPOSAL. 173 

Dook, wrote on it, under cover of the table, " Will you be my wife ? 
Write Yes 5 or No at the foot of this." 

Calling a servant, he whisperod to him to take the note which 
of course was folded up to the lady in blue opposite." 

The servant did as he was directed ; and the gentleman, in an 
agony of suspense, watched him give it to the lady, and fixed his 
eyes, with badly disguised eagerness, to try to judge from her ex 
pression how the quaintly-made offer was received. 

He had forgotten one thing namely, that ladies seldom carry 
pencils about them at a dinner party. 

His love was, however, not to be baffled by so trifling an obsta 
cle ; and, after reading the note calmly, the lady turned to the mes 
senger and said, " Tell the gentleman, Yes 

They were married in due course. 



TOO BASHFUL TO PROPOSE. 

We have heard of a good lady who remonstrated with her 
daughter for not being more demonstrative in her affection, and 
encouraging the advances of a young man who seemed desperately 
in love with her, but who lacked the confidence to propose. The 
young lady ingeniously and candidly confessed that she had made 
many laudable efforts in that direction, but without avail. For in 
stance, one evening, when they were out walking, he had asked her 
what was her favorite drink, and she said " Pop," but even that 
failed to bring the desired proposal, and so she had given it up as 
a failure. 



COURTING ON BOXWOOD ROLLERS. 

Roller skates were invented to enable young people to get away 
from the restrictions of society. This was said by an old married 
woman with three pretty daughters, but it is true all the same. 



174 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Roller skating has brought freedom to youth, and has added to 
the wrinkles of maternity, for that old national adage, " Maternal 
vigilance is the price of liberty," has been supplemented by the 
motto : Admission price, 50 cents. A calm joy has been spreading 
over the usually care-worn faces of counter-jumpers and entry clerks 
for weeks. There is a self-satisfied air of triumph resting on the 
features of the blonde book-folders, and a new hope sparkles in the 
eye of the brunette floor-walker, for the roller skate has opened the 
new door of flirtation. The whole ingenuity of man has been cm- 
ployed for a century in trying to devise some way by which the 
counter-jumper in his amorous moments could defy the old woman. 
It was not until the roller-skate was invented that the glad world 
of counter-jumpers shouted " Eureka." 

These extraordinary facilities afforded to love s young dream, 
have produced a revolution in the household and in the community. 
The wife who can skate no longer shudders under the tyranny of 
the husband who cannot. The husband who skates is at last re 
leased from the thraldom of the wife. Matrimonial squabbles now 
terminate with an " All right, my dear, if you cannot afford it. 
Hand me down my skates." " Do you love me deep enough for a 
new gros grain ?" " No, I do not. My love never went further 
than a plain silk." " All right. Then I go to the rink to-night." 

It is absolutely impossible to interfere. You might as well try 
to put a shooting star into traces. Here, alas ! the poetry of motion 
kills the justice of matrimony. A husband who cannot skate can 
not vindicate himself. Every one of these skating rinks is lined 
with hollow-eyed husbands, furrowed fathers, and melancholy 
mothers. They sit round and look helplessly on at the mad mer. 
riment. Let them but place one foot within that hive, and on their 
heads, yea, though they wore a crown, will fall the curse of the 



rink. Toronto Evening Mail. 



PROPOSAL. 175 

REFUSAL TO PROPOSAL. 

I am glad that you arc in love, twill cure you at least of the 
spleen, which has a bad effect both on man and woman. I must 
tell you how I have just treated a French gentleman of fortune in 
France, who took a liking to my daughter. Without any ceremony 
(having got my direction from my wife s banker), he wrote me word 
that he was in love with my daughter, and desired to know what 
fortune I would give her at present, and how much at my death 
by the bye, I think there was very little sentiment on his side. My 
answer was, " Sir, I shall give her ten thousand pounds on the day 
of her marriage my calculation is as follows she is not eighteen, 
you are sixty-two there goes five thousand pounds then, Sir, you 
at least think her not ngly she has many accomplishments, speaks 
Italian, French, plays upon the guitar, and and as I fear you play 
upon no instrument whatever, I think you will be happy to take 
her rp MI my terms, for here finishes the account of the ten thous 
and pounds." I do not suppose but he will take this as I mean, 
that is, a flat refusal. Sterne. 





WHY MAY NOT WOMEN PROPOSE? 



I LL some one say ? We do not profess ability to decide 
on so important a matter. We leave it an open ques 
tion why may not the fair sex make a fair offer, and 
the gentler half of mankind perform the gentle work 
of genial wooing? Queens and princesses do it when 
they marry a degree below them in rank, and why may not the 
great commonalty have like privileges with them ? No doubt our 
less favored sisters have recourse to many indirect or roundabout 
methods of "declaring their intentions," an.l oftentimes institute 
certain ways-and means committees of relatives and friends to com 
pass their sweet designs of winning men ; but a good deal of length 
ened, tedious, anxious and circunVozutory process would be saved 
them, if a too-partial custom would but a 1 low them the pleasure of 
an open and a frank avowal of the tender passion. And we are 
sure that with their tact and vivacity, and poetical dash, they would 
perform the work with far more grace and readiness than do many 
of their more ungainly brethren. 

We are aware that there is a Cheshire proverb to this effect : 
" It is time to yoke when the cart comes to the caples," (horses.) 
And a Scottish saw declares, that "when petticoats woo breeks, 
come speed." Nevertheless we find fair Scotia once passed an Act 
of Parliament in favor of it, which runs thus : 

" It is ordainit that, during the reign of her maist blessit Majes 
tic, ilka maiden ladye of baith high and low estates sail hae libertye 

176 



PROPOSAL. 1 77 

to bespeake ye man she likes beste; albeit gif he refaises to tak her 
till his wife, he sail be mulct in ye sumc of anc hundredth pundes 
or less, as his estate may be ; except and alwaies gif he mak it ap- 
peire that he is betrothed to another woman that he sail be free. 
Passed in the reign of Margaret, commonly called maid of Norway, 
A. D. 1028." 

And the Spanish maiden, in Iglesias, deplores the fact that she 
cannot "tell her love," but must bear the sweet but burdensome 
secret in oppressive, yearning silence when she sings : 

(From the Spanish of Iglesias.) 

Alexis calls me cruel ; 

The rifted crags that hold 
The gathered ice of winter, 

He says are not more cold. 

When even the very blossoms 

Around the fountain s brim, 
And forest walks, can witness 

The love 1 bear to him. 

I would that I could utter 

My feelings without shame ; 
And tell him how I love him, 

Nor wrong my virgin fame. 

Alas! to seize the moment 

When heart inclines to heart, 
And press a suit with passion, 

Is not a woman s part. 

If man comes not to gather 

The roses where they stand, 
They fade among their foliage, 

They cannot seek his hand. Bryant. 
*12 



178 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

" NO." 

Few have learnt to speak this word 

When it should be spoken ; 
Resolution is deferred, 

Vows to virtue broken. 
More of courage is required, 

This one word to say, 
Than to stand where shots are fired 

In the battle fray. 
Use it fitly, and ye ll see 

Many a lot below 
May be schooled, and nobly ruled 

By power to utter " No." 

* * * * 

Hearts that arc too often given, 

Like street merchandise- 
Hearts that like bought slaves arc driven 

In fair freedom s guise ; 
Ye that poison soul and mind 

With perjury s foul stains ; 
Ye who let the cold world bind, 

In joyless marriage chains ; 
Be ye true unto yourselves ; 

Let rank and fortune go : 
if Love light not the altar spot, 

Let Feeling answer " No." 

Eliza Cook. 



&i<&&!sdts4#$>!$&&& 



THE BETROTHAL. 




HAVE betrothed thce unto me in righteousness. Bible, 
And the servants brought forth jewels of silver, and 
jewels of gold, and raiment, and gave them to Rebekah; 
he gave also to her brother and to her mother precious 
things. 

And they did eat and drink, he and the men that were 
with him, and they tarried all night. Genesis. 



Among the Greeks it was required that every marriage should 
be preceded by a betrothal. This, in fact, was indispensable to the 
complete validity of a marriage contract. It was made by the nat 
ural or legal guardian of the bride elect, and attended by the rela 
tives of both parties as witnesses. The law of Athens ordained 
that all children born from a marriage legally contracted in this 
respect should be legitimate, and consequently, if sons, entitled to 
inherit equally. It would seem, therefore, that the issue of a mar 
riage without espousals would lose their heritable rights, which 
depended on their being born from a citizen and a legally-betrothed 
wife. The wife s dowry was also settled at the espousals. 

To associate with a man in secret, without the consent of par 
ents, or the solemn rites of marriage, was disgraceful to a noble 
maiden. Marriage, to be lawful, must be contracted under the 
direction, or, at least, with the consent of parents, as we find from 

179 



iSo PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

the expressions of Briscis in her lament over Patroclus ; or from the 
refusal of Achilles to marry the daughter of Agamemnon without 
the consent of Pclcus. The primitive custom of the purchase of 
the bride by the bridegroom, who prevailed in his suit by the weight 
of his gifts, had been so far softened in the Homeric age that the 
wishes of the daughter \vcrc consulted. When Penelope puts off 
her suitors under ingenious pretexts, Antinonous urges Telemachus 
to send home his mother, and to commend her to unite herself to 
him whom her father approved of and she herself preferred. 
Ant lions Greece. 

JEWISH HKTKOTIIAL. 

Espousing, or betrothing, was nothing else but a solemn prom 
ise made by two persons, each to the other, at such a distance of 
time as they agreed upon. The manner of performing this es 
pousal was either by a writing, or by a piece of silver given to the 
bride. ****** 

The writing that was prepared on these occasions ran in this 
form : " On such a day, of such a month, in such a year, A, the 
son of A, has said to B, the daughter of B, be thou my spouse ac 
cording to the law of Moses and the Israelites, and I will give thec 
for the portion of thy virginity the sum of two hundred zuzims, as 
it is ordained by law. 

And the said B has consented to become his spouse upon these 
conditions, which the said A has promised to perform. To this the 
said A obliges himself, and for this he engages all his goods, even 
as far as the cloak which he wears upon his shoulder. Moreover, 
he promises to perform all that is intended in contracts of marriage 
with Israelitish women. Witness, A, B, C." 

The promise by a piece of silver, and without writing, was be 
fore witnesses, when the young man said to his mistress : " Receive 
this piece of silver as a pledge that thou wilt become my spouse." 



PROPOSAL. I Si 

After such espousal was made, which was generally when the 
parties were young, the woman continued with her parents several 
months, if not some years, before she was brought home and her 
marriage consummated ; for so we find Samson s wife remained 
with her parents a considerable time after espousal (Judges xiv. 8.) 

COURTING BY PROXY. 

And the man came into the house: and he ungiixlcvl his camels, 
and gave straw and provender for the camels, and water to wash 
his feet, and the men s feet that were with him. 

And there was set meat before him to eat : but he said I will 
not eat until I have told mine errand. And he said, Speak on. 

And he said, I am Abraham s servant. 

And the Lord hath blessed my master greatly ; and he is be 
come great : and he hath given him flocks, and herds, and silver, 
and gold, and menservants, and maidservants, and camels, and 



s=> 

asses. 



And Sarah, my master s wife, bare a son to my master when 
she was old : and unto him hath lie given all that he hath. 

And my master made me swear, saying, Thou shalt not take a 
wife to my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, in whose land 

I dwell. 

But thou shalt go unto my father s house, and to my kindred, 
and take a wife unto my son. 

And now, if ye will deal kindly and truly with my master, tell 
me ; and if not, tell me ; that I may turn to the right hand, or to 
the left. 

gvs ,4,. gg .* a^Q 

GALEEI) (HEAP OF WITNESS.) 

A young man pledged his dearest faith to a maiden, beautiful 
and true. For a time all passed pleasantly, and the maiden lived 
in happiness, but then the man was called from her side. He left 



1 82 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

her. Long she waited, but he did not return. Friends pitied her, 
and rivals mocked her ; tauntingly they pointed at her, and said, 
" He has left thee ; he will never come back." The maiden sought 
her chamber, and read in secret the letters which her lover had 
written to her, the letters in which he promised to be ever faithful, 
ever true. Weeping she read them, but they brought comfort to her 
heart ; she dried her eyes and doubted not. 

A joyous day dawned for her ; the man she loved returned, and 
when he learned that others had doubted, and asked her how she 
had preserved her faith, she showed his letters to him, declaring her 
eternal trust. 

Israel, in misery and captivity, was mocked by the nations ; her 
hopes of redemption were made a laughing-stock ; her sages scoffed 
at ; her holy men derided. Into her synagogues, into her schools 
went Israel ; she read the letters which her God had written, and 
believed in the holy promises which they contained. 

God will in time redeem her, and when He says: 

" How could you alone be faithful of all the mocking nations ?" 

She will point to the law and answer : 

" Had not Thy law been my delight, I should long since have 
perished in my affliction" (Psalm 119). 



THE WEASEL AND THE WELL; OR, "BE SURE YOUR SIN WILL 

FIND YOU OUT. 

A young man, upon his journeys through the country, fell in 
with a young woman, and they became mutually attached. When 
the young man was obliged to leave the neighborhood of the dam 
sel s residence, they met to say good-bye. During the parting the) 
pledged a mutual faith, and each promised to wait until, in the 
course of time, they might be able to marry. "Who will be the 
witness ot our betrothal ?" said the young man. Just then they 



PROPOSAL. 183 

saw a weasel run past them and disappear in the wood. " Sec," he 
continued, " this weasel and this well of water by which we are 
standing shall be the witnesses of our betrothal ;" and so they part 
ed. Years passed, the maiden remained true, but the youth mar 
ried. A son was born to him, and grew up the delight of his 
parents. One day while the child was playing, he became tired, 
and lying upon the ground fell asleep. A weasel bit him in the 
neck, and he bled to death. The parents were consumed with grief 
by this calamity, and it was not until another son was given them 
that they forgot their sorrow. But when this second child was able 
l .o walk alone, it wandered about the house, and bending over the 
well, looking at its shadow in the water, lost its balance and was 
drowned. Then the father recollected his perjured vow, and his 
witnesses, the weasel and the well. He told his wife of the circum 
stance, and she agreed to a divorce. He then sought the maiden 
to whom he had promised marriage, and found her still awaiting 
his return. He told her how, through God s agency, he had been 
punished for his wrong-doing, after which they were married and 
lived in peace. Talmud, 

HUNGER STRONGER THAN LOVE; OR "WHEN WANT COMES IN 
AT THE DOOR LOVE ELIES OUT AT THE WINDOW." 

" Russian merchants, recently returned from China, give terrible 
details of the famine in the Celestial Empire. Not only were dead 
bodies freely eaten by the starving people, but famished men at 
tacked the living, and. preyed upon them with all the ferocity of 
the fiercest carnivora. A young man murdered and devoured the 
girl to whom he was betrothed, and men had been executed for 
killing and eating their own children." 



1 84 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

PROPIIKTIC PROOF. 

And thou shalt cat the fruit of thine own body, the flesh of thy 
sons and of thy daughters which the Lord thy God hath given 
in the scigc, and in the straitncss wherewith thine enemies shall 
distress thce. 

So that the man that is tender among you, and very delicate, 
his eye shall be evil toward his brother, and toward the wife of his 
bosom, and toward the remnant of his children which he shall leave. 

So that he will not give to any of them of the flesh of his child 
ren whom he shall eat ; because he hath nothing left him in the 
siege, and in the straitncss wherewith thine enemies shall distress 
thce in all tin* gates. Kiblc. 



HISTORIC PROOF. 

And the king said unto her, What ailcth thce? And she an 
swered, This woman said unto me, Give thy son, that we may eat 
him to day, and we will eat my son to morrow. 

So we boiled my son, and did eat him : and I said unto her on 
the next day, Give thy son, that we may cat him : and she hath 

hid her son. 

&(<>-> 

THE CONSKNT < >F C.rAKDIANS. 

Then Laban and Bcthuel answered and said, The thing pro- 
ccedcth from the Lord ; we cannot speak unto thee bad or good. 

Behold, Rebekah is before thce, take her, and go, and let her 
be thy master s son s wife, as the Lord hath spoken. 

And it came to pass, that, when Abraham s servant heard their 
words, he worshipped the Lord, bowing himself to the earth. 

When virgins had no fathers, their brothers disposed of them, 
(even as in Biblical history we find Bcthuel consenting to Rcbckah s 



PROPOSAL. 185 

marriage with Isaac). When they had neither parents nor breth 
ren, or if their brethren were not arrived to years of discretion, they 
were disposed of by their grandfathers, those especially on the 
father s side ; when these failed, they were committed to the care 
of guardians. 

Sometimes husbands betrothed their wives to other persons upon 
their deathbeds, as appears from the story of Demosthenes father, 
who gave his wife, Cleobule, to one Aphobus, with a considerable 
portion. When he was dead, Alphobus took the portion, but re 
fused to marry the woman ; whereupon Demosthenes made his 
complaint to the magistrates, and accused him in an elegant 
oration. 

And that this custom was not unusual, appears from the same 
orator s defence of Phermio, who being a slave and faithful in his 
business, his master gave him both his liberty and his wife. 



GOOD DAUGHTERS MAKE THE BEST WIVES. 

When a young woman behaves to her parents in a manner par 
ticularly tender and respectful, I mean from principle as well as 
nature, there is nothing good and gentle that may not be expected 
from her in whatever condition she is placed. Of this I am so 
thoroughly persuaded, that, were I to advise any friend of mine as 
to his choice of a wife, I know not whether my first counsel would 
not be, "Look out for one distinguished by her attention and sweet 
ness to her parents." The fund of worth and affection, indicated 
by such a behaviour, joined to the habit of duty and consideration 
thereby contracted, being transferred to the married state, will not 
fail to render her a mild and obliging companion. Fordyce. 

"Marry your son when you will, and your daughter when you 

can." 



PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 



" My son is my son till he s got him a wife ; 
My daughter s my daughter all the days of her life." 

This is a woman s calculation. She knows that a son-in-law 
will submit to her sway more tamely than a daughter-in-law. 



THF. DEPARTURE. 

My noble father, 

I do perceive here a divided duty : 
To you, I am bound for life and education ; 
My life and education both do learn me 
How to respect you ; you arc the lord of duty, 
I am hitherto your daughter: but here s my husband 
And so much duty as my mother show d 
To you, preferring you before her father, 
So much I challenge that I may profess 
Due to the Moor my lord. Sliakspeare. 



"AND SI1K SAID, I WILL CO." 

And her brother and her mother said, Let the damsel abide 
with us a few days, at the least ten ; after that she shall <r O 

o * 

And he said unto them, Hinder me not, seeing the Lord hath 
prospered my way ; send me away that I may go to my master. 

And they said, We will call the damsel, and inquire at her 
mouth. 

And they called Rebckah, and said unto her, Wilt thou go with 
this man? And she said, I will go. 

And they sent away Rcbekah their sister, and her nurse, and 
Abraham s servant, and his men. Bible. 



PROPOSAL. 

Sweet and solemn falls the accents 

Of the Holy Spirit s voice, 
As He gently pleadeth with us, 

Urging us to make our choice. 
"Unto Christ, to Him who loves thee 

With a love thou ne er canst know, 
Unto Him who died to save thee, 

Wilt thou go?" 

" Follow Me, and I will guide thee 

Safe across earth s desert plain, 
And beguile its dreary wasteness 

With soft whisperings of his name, 
Unto Him who waits to meet thee 

In the heaven s eternal glow, 
There to reign with Him forever, 

Wilt thou go?" 
" We will go," we answer gladly, 

Blessed Spirit, at Thy call, 
Though the road be full of danger, 

Thou wilt bring us safe through all. 
We will follow in the pathway 

That alone our Master trod, 
Knowing that its narrow windings 

Lead us surely up to God. 

" We will go," the world forsaking, 

With its endless toil and strife, 
Into all the peace and gladnesss 

Of the resurrection life ; 
Each new step our trust will deepen, 

In His mighty love and grace, 
Till at last, our journey over, 

We behold him face to face. The Christian. 



1 88 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

WILT THOU GO WITH THIS MAN ? 
Wilt thou go with this man to the lowlands afar, 
Like the needle still pointing invisible star? 
Leave "the land of sunrising" dare flood and disaster, 
For the region where dwelleth thy new lord and master? 
Forsake thy dear kindred, companions and home, 
And direct thy way onward still southward to roam ? 
Wilt cross the deep desert, sweet Euphrates water, 
And depart with this stranger, oh excellent daughter? 
Commit thy way to him on bare testimony, 
And seek the land flowing with milk and with honey : 
Adventure thy future for weal or for woe 
Wilt thou go with this man ? And she said, I will go. 

O Jesus, our Isaac, to Canaan thou st gone, 

But thy love is still wooing and drawing us on : 

Thy servants bring presents and call us away, 

To behold thee again in thy brighter array : 

The jewels so fair are direct from thy place, 

And the pledges arc bright with the smile of thy face. 

See ! the bracelet of promise is what my Lord saith, 

And the car-ring of gold is " the hearing of faith." 

The ring on my finger is the covenant of love, 

And my sandals are light as the wings of a dove ; 

The palfry that bears me, Revelation s white steed, 

Both charger and courser for war and for speed : 

My loved one awaits me ; O bid me not stay, 

He calls me his -< Fair one," and bids me away 

Accepting these tokens, I answer Him so 

Wilt thou go with this man? And she said, I will go. 



PROPOSAL 189 

BETROTHAL BY THE SEA. 

" Take me or leave me." 

They are on the seashore Love s favorite resort where the 
waves are ever "saying, saying." Shells and pebbles and miles of 
glittering nothings stretch shining on to beguile there pleasant, love- 
allured footsteps. They are building castles in the air as assidu 
ously and half as. profitably as the children around them arc con 
structing mimic rampart in the yielding, gravelled sand ; only of 
course to be washed away, " stormed and taken " by the ruthless 
forces of the next incoming tide. The deep is before them, "great 
and wide," emblem alike of the Infinite and of their own boundless 
affection. Little wavelets, like children in holiday time, garlanded 
with "sunbows," run racing along the all-encompassing main, and 
leap in bright laughter on the shelving stand. Seamews ride the 
musical crests of the breaking waters, and rock themselves to a 
charming repose on the mother deep s ample bosom. 

Vessels outward bound are vanishing in dimness and silence 
together, and are softly dipping where the blue sea and bluer sky 
meet and mingle their mutual azure, glories, and are gliding on, oh, 
so calmly and beautifully, and so sweetly suggestive, withal, of 
some happier spirit on her way to a brighter abode, into the fair, 
half-magical and dim, all-beckoning unknown. 

Sea monsters lift their dark heads above the encompassing 
floods and steal a glimpse of upper air and sunshine, and then dis 
appear as if from a world too bright for their gross taste, and descend 
again with a splash like that of the apocalyptic millstone, and seek 
congenial acquatic gloom. But what, pray, to this enamoured pair 
are all the works of God and man, or the wonders of divine and 
human skill, compared with their interest in each other? What is 
the "circle of the floods, " to the girdle of that maiden s zone ? 

"Give me but what this ribbon bound, 
Take all the rest the sun goes round/ 



I9O PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

What, \ve repeat, O reader, are clouds and winds, and sails and 
wings, and glittering sands, and spacious seas, and boundless skies, 
and bannered processions, and gathering concourses, and festive 
melodies, and blazoned heraldries, and peerless pomp, and all the 
sublimities and pageantries that cluster about the centres of opu 
lence and fashion, when once compared with the gratification they 
find in each other s company? 

And now let us go near (turn eaves-droppers fora moment) and 
listen to the honeyed conversation of this mutually-interested couple. 

" Mary," he says, as he presses his suit with the ardor of most 
vehement affection, "you can surely say something." " Yes," re 
plies the deliberate and sweetly-calculating fair one, " I suppose I 
can say something." And while she speaks she is busy with the 
important work of tracing tiny channels in the sand with the end 
ot her parasol to allow a little salt water to run out of one hole into 
another. "Well, what is it to be?" he pleads, with the energy of 
desperation, as he resolutely brings matters to an issue, " take me 
or leave me?" "Well," she answers, as she still continues her en 
gineering work on a larger scale, " I don t exactly want to leave 
you." Happy man ! 



BETROTHAL BY LOT 

PROVERBS xviii. " . he .ot caused contentions to cease, and parteth 
between the mighty. -> 

In nearly all cases where reason cannot decide, or where the 
right of several claimants to one article has to be settled, recourse 
is had to the lot, which " causcth contentions to cease." Though 
an Englishman might not relish such a mode of having a wife as 
signed to him, yet many a one in the East has no other guide than 
this in that important acquisition. 

Perhaps a young man is either so accomplished, so respectable* 
or so rich, that many fathers aspire to the honor of calling him 



PROPOSAL 



191 



"son-in-law." Their daughters are said to be beautiful, wealthy, 
and of a good family : what is he to do ? The name of each young 
lady is written on a separate piece of olah, and then all are mixed 
together. The youth and his friends then go to the front of the 
temple, and being seated, a person who is passing by at the time 
is called, and requested to take one of the pieces of olah, on which 
a lady s name is inscribed, and place it near the anxious candidate. 
This being done, it is opened, and she whose name is written there 
becomes his wife. 

Are two men inclined to marry two sisters ?* a dispute often 
arises as to whom the youngest shall be given. To cause the "con 
tentions to cease " they again have recourse to the lot. The names 
of the sisters and of the disputants are written on separate pieces 
of olah, and taken to a sacred place, those of the men being put on 
one side and the females on the other. A person then, who is un 
acquainted with the matter, takes a piece of olah from each side, 
and the couple whose names are thus joined together become man 
and wife. But sometimes a wealthy father cannot decide betwixt 
two young men who are candidates for the hand of his daughter. 
What can he do? He must settle his doubts by lot. Not lon- 

J o 

ago the son of a medical man and another youth applied for the 
daughter of Sedambarah-Suppiyan, the rich merchant. The old 
gentleman caused two " holy writings " to be drawn up ; the names 
of the lovers were inscribed thereon : the son of Kandan, the doctor, 
was drawn forth, and the young lady became his wife. Three Brah 
mins, also, who were brothers, each ardently desired the hand of 
one female, and, after many disputes, it was settled by lot, which 
causeth contentions to cease ; and the youngest of the three gained 
the orize. 



-::>:: ::-:X>::>:V>:XVXXXX>:K: ;*:>: 



COMING OF AGE, OR EARLY BETROTHAL. 




Love ahvavs ID season/ 



thou idly ask to hear 

At what gentle seasons 
Nymphs relent, when lovers near 

Press the tendercst reasons ? 
Ah, they give their faith too oft 

To the careless wooer ; 
Maidens hearts are always soft , 

Would that men s were truer ! 

Woo the fair one, when around 

Early birds are singing , 
When, o er all the fragrant ground, 

Early herbs are springing 
When the brookside, bank and grove, 

All with blossoms laden, 
Shine with beauty, breathe of love 

Woo the timid maiden. 

Woo her when, with rosy blush, 

Summer eve is sinking ; 
When, on rills that softly gush, 

Stars are softly winking ; 
192 




Her bright eyes are beaming, 
Half waking half dreaming ; 
The future diviniug, 
To love all-inaiiaing. 



PROPOSAL. 193 

When, through boughs that knit the bower, 

Moonlight gleams are stealing ; 
Woo her, till the gentle hour 

Wake a gentler feeling. 

Woo her, when autumnal dyes 

Tinge the woody mountain ; 
When the dropping foliage lies, 

In the weedy fountain ; 
Let the scene, that tells how fast 

Youth is passing over, 
Warn her, ere her bloom is past, 

To secure her lover. 

Woo her, when the north winds call 

At the lattice nightly, 
When, within the cheerful hall, 

Blaze the fagots brightly ; 
While the wintry tempest round 

Sweeps the landscape hoary, 
Sweeter in her ear shall sound 

Love s delightful story. Bryant. 



EARLY BETROTHAL IN ENGLAND. 

" It may be interesting to compare the different ages at which 
Her Majesty s children have been married. The Princess Beatrice 
is now married in her twenty-eighth year, the Princess Royal mar 
ried in her eighteenth year ; the Prince of Wales was married when 
in his twenty-second year ; the Princess Alice in her twentieth 
year ; the Duke of Edinburgh in his thirtieth year ; the Princess 
Helena in her twenty-first year ; the Princess Louise in her twenty- 

fourth year ; the Duke of Connaught in his twenty-ninth year ; the 
*13 



194 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Duke of Albany in his thirtieth year. The united ages at marriage 
of the five Royal Princesses make ill ; the united ages at marriage 
of the four Princes make ill years. By striking an average one 
finds that the Princesses arc married at 22 1-5 years, and Princes 
at 2 ." 



EARLY 15KTROTIIAL IN FRANCE. 

A word or two about Saint-Simon and his youth. At nineteen 
he was destined by his mother to be married. Now, every one 
knows how marriages are managed in France, not only in the time 
of Saint-Simon, but even to the present day. A mother, or an 
aunt, or a grandmother, or an experienced friend, looks out ; be it 
for son, be it for daughter, it is the business of her life. She looks 
and she finds ; family, suitable ; fortune, convenient ; person, pas 
uial \ principles, Catholic, with a due abhorrence of heretics, es 
pecially English ones. After a time, the lady is to be looked at by 
the unhappy pretendu ; a church, a mass, or vespers, being very 
often the opportunity agreed. The victim thinks she will do. The 
proposal is discussed by the two mammas ; relatives are called in ; 
all goes well ; the contract is signed ; then a measured acquaintance 
is allowed ; but no tete-a-tetes ; no idea of love . " What ! so indeli 
cate a sentiment before marriage ! Let me not hear of it," cries 
mamma, in a sanctimonious panic. "Love! Quelle betise !" adds 
mon perc. 

But Saint-Simon, it seems, had the folly to wish to make a 
marriage of inclination. Rich, pair de France, his father an old 
roue, who had been page to Louis XIII. dead, he felt extremely 
alone in the world. He cast about to see whom he could select 
The Due dc Bcauvilliers had eight daughters ; a misfortune it may 
be thought in France, or anywhere else. Not at all ; three of the 
young ladies were kept at home to be married ; the other five were 
at once disposed of, as they passed the unconscious age of infancy, 



PROPOSAL. 195 

in convents. Saint-Simon was, however, disappointed. He offered, 
indeed ; first for the eldest, who was not then fifteen years old ; 
and finding that she had a vocation for conventual life, went on to 
the third, and was going through the whole family, when he was 
convinced that his suit was impossible. The eldest daughter hap 
pened to be a disciple of Fenelon s and was on the very eve of being 
vowed to heaven. 

Saint-Simon went off to La Trappe, to console himself for his 
disappointment. There had been an old intimacy between Mon 
sieur La Trappe and the father of Saint-Simon ; and this friendship 
had induced him to buy an estate close to the ancient abbey where 
La Trappe still existed. The friendship became hereditary ; and 
Saint-Simon, though still a youth, revered and loved the penitent 
recluse of Ferte au Vidauie^ of which Lamartine has written so 
grand and so poetical a description. 

Let us hasten over his marriage with Mademoiselle de Lorges, 
who proved a good wife. It was this time a grandmother, the 
Marechale de Lorges, who managed the treaty, and Saint-Simon 
became the happy husband cf an innocent blende, with a majestic 
air, though only fifteen years of age. Let us hasten on, passing 
over his presents ; his six hundred louis, given in a corbeille full of 
what he styles "gallantries;" his mother s donation of jewellery ; 
the midnight mass, by which be was linked to the child who scarce 
ly knew him ; let us lay all that aside; and turn to his court life. 
Grace and PJiilip Wkarton. 



EARLY BETROTHAL IN CANADA. 



" The chief social event in the lives of Canadian peasants is a 
wedding almost the only set occasion for festivities. The priest 
then permits dancing among the relatives and allows unusual ex 
penses to be incurred. Courtship is ve ry short and circumspect. 



196 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

It generally lasts but a few months. Engagements are made very 
much after the pecuniary interests followed in France, and the mar 
riages generally occur at from 1 8 to 22 years of age." 



EARLY BETROTHAL IN AMERICA. 

The mode then in vogue of announcing some events appears 
strange at this time. The following form of a marriage notice, 
credited to a Kentucky paper, will give an idea : 

"In Lexington, Kentucky, Harrison Canins, aged 15, to Miss 
Eliza Plough, aged nearly 12. A long life to them ! Mrs. Canir.s 
twelve years hence will be a spruce- girl. The parties may be 
grandfathers and grandmothers ere they are 30." From the first 
volume of Christian Guardian, 1829 



EARLY BETROTHAL IN CHINA, OR " WOLVES AND BUTTERFLIES." 

A Chinese orator told us, some time ago, that the people in his 
country call their boys wolves," and their girls " butterflies," not 
altogether a meaningless nomenclature. 

The fathers of families would sometimes meet incidentally in 
places of public resort, and strike up a marriage alliance between so 
many of their " wolves " on one side, and their " butterflies " on the 
other, the dear little creatures of both sexes not being at all privy 
to the arrangement, much less parties to the contract. These juv 
eniles were oftentimes thus betrothed by proxy as soon as they 
were nicely out of the cradle, the marriage to take place in the 
course of so many years say when they would be respectively 
from nine to twelve years of age. 



PROPOSAL. 197 

A CHINESE GIRL GRADUATE S TESTIMONY. 

In the class of graduates for 1885, from the Women s Medical 
College in New York, was a remarkable character, in the petite 
person of Kin Yai Me, a Chinese student, who graduated at the 
head of the class. Very little has been known of her, because her 
guardians and adopted parents have been most zealous to prevent 
her from being interviewed during her college life. She speaks 
English better than some of her American friends ; she wears No. 

o 

I shoes, has the regulation almond-shaped eyes, bangs her hair, 
which is long and straight, and possesses all the politeness of her 
race as well as its color. Like the people she is one of, she has a 
remarkable memory, and this gift was one of the telling qualities 
that placed her above the average student. 

When she was three years old she was left an orphan, and was 
adopted by the then United States consul in China, Dr. McCarter. 
Her father was a converted Chinaman, and became a Presbyterian 
mission minister ; he was also educated by Dr. McCarter, and de 
voted himself to the mission work among his own people in China. 
Both father and mother of Kin Yai Me died of cholera when she 
was three years of age, and the father left, her to the care and edu 
cation of his friend, who has well performed his trust. Dr. McCarter 
prepared her for the Medical College, and, being both talented and 
ambitious, she went into the study of medicine well coached and 
full of promise. Some idea of how well she had been fostered by 
her adopted parents may be traced in the fact that Mrs. McCarter 
always escorted her charge home from the College on Second 
Avenue during her period of study. When she graduated she had 
won the highest position in the class, and during an interview with 
her, she told one of the classmates she should return to China and 
practise among the women of her race, but to equip herself still 
more for that work, she should study awhile longer before return 
ing. Upon the subject of marriage, Yai Me said : 



PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

" To marry outside of China would be an act never forgiven 
there ; besides that I shall never marry there, either, for I shall be 
too old." 

" Too old ?" was the surprised reply. 

"Yes. I am an old maid. I shall be over 21 before I return, 
and that is too old for Chinese women to marry. At 25 years of 
age few Chinese women have any chances to marry. All marry 
between 12 and 18 years of age." 

" You might be an exception," was vouchsafed. 

" No," she replied, " there are other reasons. I would not marry 
any but the elder son. The wives of junior sons are all ruled by 
the wife of the eldest. They and their children are under her sup 
ervision, and you see I could only marry the eldest son, and I shall 
be too old to do so." 

" How old were you when you entered the medical college." 

" Eighteen," she replied, "and, although I have graduated, I 
have still much to accomplish before I take up my life work in 
China." 

Kin Yai Me loves her profession is, indeed, an enthusiast in it. 
I ler marvellous memory was the comment of her class. The deter 
mination to spare her from undue publicity and note was rigidly 
enforced, but her scholarship and intended career induced an inter 
est that cannot longer be concealed. 

She is a Presbyterian in religion, while with her adopted par 
ents, at least, and in the observance of the marriage customs of her 
own country, she still holds her allegiance in no small degree to the 
Celestial Kingdom. She has a brother who occupies some officH 
position in China, and she resides for the present in Washington. 
T/ie Toronto Globe. 



EARLY BETROTHAL IN JAPAN. 

" Early betrothals have never been as general in Japan as in 
other eastern countries, and they are now decreasing yearly. Mar- 



PROPOSAL. 199 

riagcs are arranged by their respective parents, assisted by a man 
and his wife (mutual friends of the family) as an intermediary. 
Contrary to the usual notion on this subject, the wishes of the young 
people are generally consulted. The statement sometimes made 
that the wife in Japan is a mere chattel, to be lightly acquired or 
disposed of, is absolutely false. Divorces among the better classes 
are scarcely more frequent, or more frequently sought, than in many 
parts of our own country. Our tricky divorce lawyers would starve 
in Japan. If a divorce is demanded, the matter must be laid before 
the families of the couple, with the intermediary spoken of, as ar 
bitrators, and neither the man nor the woman can be released from 
the marriage vow without their concurrence. As divorce must re 
sult in the sending of the wife back to the father for support, 
separations, without a grave and sufficient reason, are not easily 
obtained. 

The position of a wife, and especially of a mother, in Japan, is 
all that a true woman can desire. It is not the custom, except on 
special occasions, for women to mingle with men who are not of 
their own family by blood or marriage. The restriction is not im 
posed by the legal lord alone, it is a part of the family organization, 
and by the family imposed for the promotion of morality and good 
order in society. Nothing can exceed the beauty and harmony of 
the Japanese when at home. Disrespect and disobedience to par 
ents are rare, and we have often been compelled to contrast the 
family discipline of Japan with that of our own, much to our own 
mortification." 

EARLY BETROTHAL EOR POLITICAL PURPOSES. 

"Now Herod brought up his son s children with great care ; for 
Alexander had two sons by Glaphyra, and Aristobulus had three 
sons by Bernice, Salome s daughter, and two daughters ; and as his 
friends were once with him, he presented the children before them, 



200 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

and deploring the hard fortune of his own sons, he prayed that no 
such ill-fortune would befal these who were their children, but that 
they might improve in virtue, and obtain what they justly deserved, 
and might make him amends for his care of their education. He 
also caused them to betrothed against they should come to the 
proper age of marriage : the elder of Alexander s sons to Pheroras 
daughter, and Antipater s daughter to Aristobulus eldest son. He 
also allotted one of Aristobulus daughters to Antipater s son, and 
Aristobulus other daughter to Herod, a son of his own, who was 
born to him by the high priest s daughter: for it is the ancient 
practice among us to have many wives at the same time. Now the 
king made these espousals for the children, out of commiseration 
of them now they were fatherless, as endeavoring to render Anti- 
pater kind to them by these intermarriages. 



EARLY P.KTROTIIAL IN IIINDOSTAN. 

The Times of India, commenting on a remarkable contribution 
to the discussion that has been going on for the last twelve months 
about the social status of Hindoo women, their position in the 
household, and their relation with the other sex, says : 

"The story a Hindoo woman has to tell is a sad one, and no 
doubt all the sadder, inasmuch as her letter shows her to be pos 
sessed of very unusual natural abilities. The wicked practice of 
early marriage has, she declares, destroyed the happiness of her 
life, coming between her and the things she prizes above all others 
study and mental cultivation. Without the least fault of mine 
I am doomed to seclusion ; every aspiration of mine to rise above 
my ignorant sisters is looked upon with suspicion, and is interpre 
ted in the most uncharitable manner. She writes with a good deal 
of feminine emphasis, but she amply proves her case, that the rich 
and poor, old and young, of her sex suffer much misery and pain 
and degradation through the strict observance of social institutions 



PROPOSAL. 201 

invented by men for their own advantage. Every woman, on the 
death of her husband, even if he be a child-husband, is condemned 
to a life of perpetual widowhood. But a man may not only marry 
a second wife on the death of his first one, but can marry any num 
ber of wives at one and the same time. Even if he has only one 
wife, he continues to live in the bosom of his own family, and has 
never, under any circumstances, to submit to the tender mercies of 
a mother-in-law. In India all the boys and girls are betrothed in- 
dissolubly almost as soon as they are born. At the age of eight, 
at least, a husband must be found for every girl. Girls are gener 
ally, perhaps, married at this age, and their parents are still at lib 
erty to send them to school until they are ten years old. But after 
that the leave of the mother-in-law must be obtained. But even 
in these advanced times, exclaims our correspondent, and even in 
Bombay the chief centre of civilization how many mothcrs-in- 
laws are there who send their daughters to school after they are 
ten years old ? Thus the girls are taken away from school just 
when they are beginning to understand and appreciate education. 
Even girls belonging to the most advanced families are mothers 
before they are fourteen, and have thenceforth to devote themselves 
to the hard realities of life. The unfortunate bride may neither sit 
nor speak in the presence of any elder member of her husband s 
family. She must work with the servants, rise early, and go to bed 
late, and be perpetually abused and frequently beaten by her 
mother-in-law. She must live in the most rigid seclusion. Her 
husband, who is entirely dependent on his family, can never take 
her part, and, fresh himself from college, is apt to despise her for 
her ignorance, and to tolerate her as a necessary evil. Our corres 
pondent deliberately declares that the treatment which even ser 
vants receive from their European masters is far better than falls 
to the share of us Hindoo women. We are treated worse than 
beasts. The strength both of mind and body is sapped by these 
early marriages. The children either die off as weakly seedlings or 



2O2 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

grow up without vigor. The women lose their beauty at twenty, 
are long past their prime at thirty, and old at forty. But a worse 
fate awaits them if instead of being Hindoo wives they are Hindoo 
widows. Of this wretched fate our correspondent fortunately knows 
nothing personally, and so cannot write from experience. But 
there are 22,000,000 widows in India, many of whom lost their 
nominal husbands when they were children, and none of whom can 
ever marry again. For the rest of their lives they are deprived of 
ornaments and colored garments, their heads are shaved, they arc 
condemned to the coarsest clothes and the poorest food, and wear 
out their days in seclusion as the low drudges of the household. 
They have to live like nuns, but amid all the temptations in a little 
world in which they are regarded as inferior beings, and when they 
hide their shame they are handed over to the English law for 
punishment " 



It may truly be said with regard to early marriages, that "opin 
ions differ," not only among individuals but amcng nations also, 
and oftentimes among those of the same name and nation. With 
regard to the ancient inhabitants of Greece and Rome, we find the 
sages giving various and even diverse counsels. Among the for 
mer, for instance. "The time of marriage was not the same in all 
places. The Spartans were not permitted to marry till they arrived 
at their full strength, and though we do not find what was the ex 
act number of years they were confined to, yet it appears from one 
of Lycurgus sayings that both men and women were limited in this 
affair ; which that lawgiver being asked the reason of, said his de 
sign was that Spartan children might be strong and vigorous. 

The Athenian laws are said once to have ordered that men 
.should not marry till above 35 years of age ; for human life being 
divided by Solon into ten weeks (or sevens), he affirmed that in the 
fifth of these weeks men were of ripeness to multiply their kind. 



PROPOSAL. 203 

But this depended upon the humor of every Lawgiver, nothing 
being generally agreed on in this matter. 

Aristotle thought 37 a good age ; Plato, 30 ; and Hesiod was 
much of the same judgment, for thus he advises his friend 

The time to enter on a married life 

Is about thirty, then bring home a wife ; 

But don t delay too late, or wed too young, 

Since strength and prudence to this state belong. 

Women married sooner than men. Some of the old Athenian 
laws permitted them to marry at 26. Aristotle at 18, Hesiod at 15. 
The poet advising that woman be permitted to grow to maturity in 
four years, i. e., four after ten, and marry in the fifth, i. e., the fif 
teenth. Others think he means they might continue unmarried 
four years after their arrival at woman s estate, i. e., at fourteen 
years, and marry in the fifth, i. e., the nineteenth. 

But as the women were sooner marriageable than men, so their 
time was far shorter, it being common for men to marry much older 
than women could expect to do, as Lysistrate complains in Aris 
tophanes : 

L. Y. It s some concern to me when I reflect 

On the poor girls that must despair of men, 
And keep a stale and loathed celibacy. 

P. R. What, havn t the men the same hard measures, then ? 

L. Y. Oh no, they have a more propitious fate, 

Since they at sixty when their vigor s past 
Can wed a young and tender spouse to warm 
Their aged limbs and to repair their years ; 
But woman s joys are short and transient, 
For if we once the golden minutes miss 



20-4 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

There s no recalling, so severc s our doom ; 
\Yc must then long in vain, in vain expect, 
And by our ills forewarn posterity." 

But whether marrying early or late, they were all expected to 
enter the marriage state when opportunity allowed. 

" The ancients believed in matrimony. Among the Romans all 
men of full age were compelled by law to marry, and an ancient 
English law obliged all men of twenty-five and upward to marry." 

Modem times allow a good deal of liberty in this respect, and 
we fortunately arc free from any iron-bound custom on the matri 
monial matter. In America, where warmer climes promote a pri 
mer growth, (for there is an evident connection between genial suns 
and early marriages), it is no uncommon thing to see a young miss 
married midway of her teens. And by-and-by, judging from the 
precocity of this stcam-and-lightning age, we shall have proposals 
made and betrothals arranged in the go-cart. 



THAT LITTLE GIRL. 

The jovial captain of one of the steamships now in port tells a 
good story relative to the May and December marriages so common 
in Brazil, A Brazilian gentleman, apparently over 50 years of age, 
was a passenger on his vessel. He was accompanied by two girls, 
one about 15, and the other younger. The gentleman was sea-sick 
in the cabin, and the girls were on deck, whereupon the captain 
endeavored to amuse them took them on his knees, and told them 
stories, while he enjoyed their prattle and pretty smiles. In the 
midst of this pleasant occupation the gentleman came on deck. 
With a fierce expression he gazed upon the scene for a moment, 
and then inquired in a harsh, husky voice : " You, sir ; are you mar 
ried ?" " Yes ; I have a daughter older than your little girl here," 
said the captain. "She reminds me very much of mine." Here he 



PROPOSAL. 2O5 

patted the pretty cheek. "That little girl, sir," exclaimed the in 
dignant Brazilian, with great emphasis, "that little girl is my wife, 
sir." The captain collapsed. 



Among us men are of age at twenty-one ; among the Romans 
they were so at twenty-five ; among the Jews thirteen years and 
one day. Females were of age according as circumstances regula 
ted it "the time appointed by the father." The father by his last 
will might fix any time for male or female. 

Timothy was a young man ; but as among the Greeks and 
Romans the state of youth was extended to thirty years, no respec 
table young men were permitted to drink wine before that time ; 
and though he was now thirty-five years of age, yet he might still 
feel himself under the custom of his country relative to drinking 
wine, for his father was a Greek (Acts xvi. i) ; and through the in 
fluence of his Christian profession, he might still continue to abstain 
from wine, drinking water only. Pictorial Explanatory New Tes 
tament. 



CONSENT OF PARENTS REQUIRED. 

Virgins were not allowed to marry without the consent of their 
parents ;. whence Hero in Leander in Museus tells Leandcr they 
could not be honorably joined in marriage, because her parents 
"were against it : 

" My parents to the match will not consent, 
Therefore desist, it is not pertinent." 

Hesmione in Euripides professes she had no concern about her 
marriage, but left that wholly to her father: 

"I m not concerned, my father will take care 
Of all things that respect my nuptials." 



206 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

i hc mother s consent was necessary as well as the father s ; nor 
.vere men permitted to marry without consulting their parents, for 
even the most early and ignorant ages were too well acquainted 
\vith the right which parents have over their children to think these 
had power to dispose of themselves without their parents consent. 

Acchilles in Homer refuses Agamemnon s daughter, and leaves 
it to his father Pclcns to choose him a wife : 

"If by heaven s blessing I return a bride, 
My careful father will for me provide." 



BETROTHAL DISPENSED WITH. 

In the East you scarcely ever sec a woman s face on the streets. 
A man does not even see his intended wife s before marriage, and 
not then unless he has paid for her. In Mohammedan countries 
all brides are sold to the highest bidder, the same as horses or 
camels, the money to be paid on delivery. Even after marriage the 
wife is kept like a prisoner in the harem, and always closely veiled 
when she appears in public. 





T HAS been said that every man is a hero at least twice 
in his brief earthly history, namely, at his birth and at 
his death ; and the married man, of course, adds another 
heroic period to his existence that of his wedding day. 
Everybody feels a passing interest in the nuptial pair, and 
in the happy bridegroom little less than in his fairer bride 
To this interesting epoch in a man s probationary state all things 
fair and pleasant are compared. 

" The world is a wedding," says the Talmud, and that authority 
also avers in kindred sentiment, that "youth is a wreath of roses." 
And when, with vicing, varied beauty, youth meets youth gentler 
youth with stronger youth with the glory fresh in them of their 
charming, mutual prime, what sight on earth can be nobler and 
fairer withal ? 

The sun, himself, is compared to one of the contracting parties, 
which is as a bridegroom coming out of his chamber on his marriage 
morn, and "rejoiceth as a strong man to run a race." And the earth 
is compared to the other (as also the Jewish church). " Thou shalt 
be called Heppzibah (my delight in her the same name as Heze- 
kiah s then reigning queen) and thy land Beulah (married), for the 
Lord delighteth in thee, and thy land shall be married." 

H* 209 



2IO PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Even the dumb world is a wedding, and the earth is the bride 
~>f the sun. For every springtime, with the return of the " King of 
:lay " from his wintry solstice, or stopping place, the earth " renews 
her mighty youth ;" and, lo ! this silent sphere, which is turned as 
clay to the seal, to be stamped afresh with life and beauty, grows 
cheerful in his beaming and benignant smile. And see ! beneath 
his cheering ray, for there is nothing hid from the heat thereof, the 
erstwhile barren ground " brings forth and buds ;" and the dumb 
air grows tuneful with songs of myriad birds that hail the nuptials 
of the celestial with the terrcstial ; and the low world is yoked, like 
a buoyant car, to this heavenly courser, and is borne along and 
high aloft among the circling, sister, planetary chariots in his mag 
nificent train, as he makes the stupendous passage of the ecliptic. 

The clouds, too, seem wedded to the mountains of the earth, 
and oftentimes rest their soft and snowy forms, fair as a seraph s 
pinion, on their lofty, sky-kissing summits. And behold, also, how 
the migrator)- birds wing-linked with brightness arc married to 
the glowing summer, as that queen of beaut} and of song makes 
her fair-riding tour of the terraqueous globe, and woo her forever, 
as they follow her zone-sweeping train about the mighty circuit of 
the habitable globe. 

Yes, even so, the dull earth, for nature loves contrasts, is mar 
ried to the bright sun, and the low earth is joined by attraction to 
the high sun, and the slow earth is united by impulsion to the swift 
sun, whose surpassing velocity induced the heathen to offer only 
white chariot horses in solar sacrifice, and the cold earth is wedded 
to the warm sun, with his vivifying and eternally fructifying power, 
and from this auspicious union comes all her fruitfulness and glory. 

And the soul, too, of man may well be described as being mar 
ried to his body in most subtle, sacred bond, with union dear and 

precious. 

" More closely wed than married pair." 



ESPOUSAL. 21 i 

The marriage tie being the " silver cord " of Solomon s wond 
rous, mystic song, or the fine, spinal marrow that holds the "golden 
bowl," and runs a sentient thread down all the trunk-supporting 
vertebra. 

But the Jews say, with regard to Moses dying alone on Mount 
Horeb, that " God kissed his soul out of him," thus suggesting the 
gentleness and painlessness of his possible death. So grace may, 
through the mercy of God, soften the rigors of dissolving sense, and 
divine love may brighten the dark approach of the " king of terrors," 
even as a black face shines when the sun bursts full upon it. And 
though philosophy and science stand mute, with their "hand upon 
their mouth," hard by the last, terribly-trying scene of stern, dis 
solving nature, and fail to whisper living hope or breathe a breath 
of heavenly consolation ; yet the Bible, blessed word, opens fresh, 
inspiring page, full of the energy of the resurrection ; and the de 
parting soul grows bright with the promise, and buoyant with eter 
nal expectation, and pledges to the shuddering flesh, which now 
must die and leave her, that she will meet it again beyond the 
river, and remarry it in renewed power and glory on the great day 
of God ; and beckoning it onward in triumph, she flaps her freed 
wings upward, singing, " I know that my Redeemer liveth, and 
though after my skin, worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh 
shall I see God, whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall 
behold and not another." 



^m^^^m^^W^l^^^Y^^^^^^ 

<m ; :m:mmmKwmmmmm?m 



THE DIVINE ESPOUSALS. 



The love that crowns one king of men 

Is not for idle telling ; 
Tis deep and still, yet strong as death, 

The love of man excelling. MAt GAUET ROBBING. 



v* O FORTH, O yc daughters of Zion, and behold king 

" \ 



Solomon with the crown wherewith his mother crowned 
him in the day of his espousals, and in the day of the 
gladness of his heart." 

v -^ 

^( ; It was customary among the ancients to adorn the 



heads of newly married couples with liedit wreaths, or 
>.:..V 

^) marriage crowns, as if to show that this was the crown 
ing day of their several lives. In accordance with this general 
usage, Bathshcba, the queen mother herself, bedecks the head of 
her son, the young prince Solomon, and hence the invitation, with 
its mystical meaning of the union subsisting between Christ and 
his church; and all are invited to the " marriage supper of the Lamb," 
for " behold a greater than Solomon is here." 

YcrVQ} 

Arrayed in glittering white, 

With marriage wreath bedecked, 
Awaiting nuptial rite 

Behold the Lord s elect. 

212 



ESPOUSAL, 213 



The fair Bathsheba s son, 
Himself surpassing fair ; 

The glorious Solomon, 

His wealth beyond compare. 

But though the head be crowned 
With light of blazing gems, 

Except the heart be sound 
In vain are diadems. 

Tis not the cap of state, 
Nor joyful nuptial crown, 

That makes the king so great, 
Tis love, and love alone. 



THE SPOUSE S ADMIRATION OF HIM. 

"This is my beloved, and this is my friend, O ye daughters of 
Jerusalem." 

O, ye companions, list to me, 

For my beloved is fair ; 
His days are from eternity, 
His love beyond compare. 

Where er I go, he leadeth me, 

He moveth by my side ; 
My bright, my heavenly bridegroom he, 

And I, his blushing bride. 



She shall be brought to the king in raiment of needlework, &C. 
Canticles. 



214 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

My bridal wreath is Christian joy. 

And sanctity my dress ; 
My banquet, bliss, without alloy, 

My robe is righteousness. 

My chain of gold is his commands, 
My girdling zone, his truth ; 

And Zion s vows my golden bands, 
My bloom immortal youth. 

His covenant my marriage ring, 
His smile my sun and moon ; 

His love is all the song 1 sing, 
And glory is my tune. 

O, ye companions, list to me, 
Come with me to his place \ 

Pavilioned in his brightness be, 
And taste his mighty grace. 



THE KING S DAUGHTER, OR THE ROYAL BRIDE. 

"The king s daughter is all glorious within ; her clothing is of 
wrought gold. 

She shall be brought unto the king in raiment of needlework ; 
the virgins, her companions that follow her, shall be brought unto 
thee. 

With gladness and rejoicing shall they be brought ; they shall 
enter into the king s palace." 



"But what saith the Scriptures? The King s daughter is all 
glorious within, (Ps. xlv.,) and as ships which are the fairest in 
show, yet are not always the fittest for use ; so neither arc women 



ESPOUSAL. 215 

the more to be esteemed, but the more to be suspected, for their 
fair trappings ; yet we condemn not in greater personages the use 
of ornaments ; yea, we teach that silver, silks, and gold were created 
not only for the necessity, but also far ornament of the saints. In 
the practice whereof, Rebekah, a holy woman, is noted to have 
received from Isaac, a holy man, even ear-rings, habiliments, and 
bracelets of gold, (Gen. xxiv.,) therefore this is it we teach for rules 
of Christian sobriety, that if a woman neither exceed decency in 
fashion, nor the limits of her state and degree, and that she be 
proud of nothing, we see no reason but she may wear anything. 

It followeth that she is like a ship, but what a ship? A ship of 
merchants no doubt a great commendation, for the kingdom of 
heaven is like a merchant (Matt, xiii.), and merchants have been 
princes (Isa. xxiii.), and princes are gods (Ps. Ixxxii.) The mer 
chant is of all men most laborious for his life, the most adventurous 
in his labor, the mcrt peaceable upon the sea, the most profitable 
to the land ; yea, the merchant is the combination and union of 
lands and countries, She is a like a ship of merchants, therefore 
first to be reckoned, as ye see, among the laity ; not like a fisher 
man s boat, not like St. Peter s ship, for Christ did call no she 
apostles. Indeed, it is commendable in a woman when she is able 
by her wisdom to instruct her children, and to give at opportunities 
good counsel to her husband ; but when women shall take upon 
them, as many have done, to build churches, and to chalk out dis 
cipline for the church, this is neither commendable nor tolerable ; 
for her hands, saith Solomon, must handle the spindle, (ver 19), 
the spindle or the cradle, but neither the altar nor the temple ; for 
St. John commendeth even to the elect lady, not so much her talk 
ing, as her walking in the commandments (2 John v. 6) ; ther-fore 
to such preaching women it may be answered, as St. Bernard some 
times answered the image of the blessed Virgin, at the great church 
at Sire, in Germany. Bernard was no sooner come into the church 
but the image straight saluted him, and bade him, Good morrow, 



216 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL 

Bernard ; whereat Bernard, well knowing the jugglery of the friars, 
made answer again out of St. Paul : O, your ladyship hath forgot 
yourself; it is not lawful for a woman to speak in the church. 



The bride that hath good cheer within, and good music, and a 
good bridegroom with her, may be merry, though the hail chance 
to rattle upon the tiles without upon her wedding day; though the 
world should rattle about his ears, a man ma}* sit merry that sits 
at the feast of a good conscience ; nay, the child of God, by virtue 
of this, in the midst of the waves of affliction, is as secure as that 
child, which in a shipwreck was upon a plank with his mother, till 
she awaked him securely sleeping, and then with his pretty coun 
tenance sweetly smiling, and by-and-by sportingly asking a stroke 
to beat the naught)* waves, and at last, when the}* continued bois 
terous for all that, sharply chiding them, as though the}- had been 
but his playfellows. O the innocency ! O the comfort of peace ! 
O the tranquility of a spotless mind ! There is no heaven so clear 
as a good conscience. Sennon by Robert Wilkinson, of Cambridge, 
preached before the Kings Majestv at the nuptials of an Honourable 
Lord and Lad. 



TIIK BRIDEGROOM S ADMIRATION or TIIK P.RIDI-;. 

"Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet, and thy speech is 
comely." 

O blessed lips ! 

The wild bee sips 
At no such fount of nectarcd juice, 

As those that hear 

Thy speech with fear 
And know truth s ordinance and use. 






ESPOUSAL. 217 

Like scarlet thread, 

So lively red, 
With saving health and hallowed blood ; 

Thy testimony 

Drops like honey, 
And still proclaims the Christ of God. 






How beautiful are thy feet with shoes, O prince s daughter ! 

How beautiful those feet with shoes, 
Which gospel preparations use ! 

They win their way 

Like light of day, 
And who their entrance would refuse. 



" Thou art comely through my comeliness, which I have put 

upon thee." 

O glorious dress . 

Christ s righteousness ! 
Whose shadowy train love s pattern bears ; 

Fair broidery, 

Which angels see, 
And glory decks the robe she wears. 



" Thy temples are like a piece of pomegranate (a cut pome 
granate showing the red juice inside) within thy locks. 

Contrition s flush, 

Pure virtue s blush, 
So well thy countenance doth grace ; 

Like pulp of wine, 

Thy temples shine, 
While heaven approves with smiling face. 



21 8 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Repentance meet- 

Compunction sweet 
And holy shame s suffusive glow, 

Thy brows adorn, 

Like rosy morn, 
And love s red seal enstamps thee now. 



"The smell of thy garments is like the smell of Lebanon " 

With odors sweet, 

Her welcome feet 
Now tread the golden palace floor , 

And clearly o et 

The pearly door 
Is writ : " They shall go out no more." 



"The smell of thy nose is like apples." 

Her grateful breath 
Revives e en death, 

"The smell like apples" Scripture saith 
She breatheth bloom, 
E en through the tomb, 
And fills the world with choice perfume. 



" Thou art all fair my love ; there is no spot in thee 

O spotless fair ! 

Beyond compare, 
Sweet Zion, bound by sacred vows ; 

Be thine our state, 

All new-create 
Meek members of the heavenly spouse 



ESPOUSAL. 219 

" Forget also thine own people, and thy father s house, so shall 
the king greatly desire thy beauty, for he is thy lord, and worship 
thou him." 

She shall come before the king. 
Royal praises she shall sing 
In his ear, 
Sweet and clear, 
Like sounding chime of silver sphere 



THE BRIDAL CHARIOT, OR NUPTIAL COUCH. 
" King Solomon made himself a chariot of the wood of Lebanon 

He made the pillars thereof of silver, the bottom thereof of 
gold, the covering of it of purple, the midst thereof being paved 
with love, for the daughters of Jerusalem." 

" Behold his bed, which is Solomon s ; threescore valiant men 
are about it, of the valiant of Israel. 

They all hold swords, being expert in war : every man hath his 
sword upon his thigh because of fear in the night." 

After these preliminaries, the bride was generally conducted 
from her father s house to that of the bridegroom in a chariot, 
drawn by a pair of mules or oxen, and furnished with a kind of 
couch, as a seat. On either side of her sat the bridegroom and one 
of his most intimate friends or relations. 

Mention is expressly made in Hesiod of the carriage which was 
used on this solemn occasion ; for driving in chariots is character 
istic of the heroic age, and is appropriate either to high festivals 
ad solemnities, or to great distances. Torches were carried by 
the side. 



220 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

The nuptial procession was probably accompanied, according 
to circumstances, by a nnmber of persons, some of whom carried 
the nuptial torches, and in some places, as in Boetia, it was custom 
ary to burn the axle of the carriage on its arrival at the bride 
groom s house, as a symbol that the bride was to remain at home, 
and not go abroad. If the bridegroom had been married before, 
the bride was not conducted to his house by himself, but by one of 
his friends. 

The Greeks kept the marriage bed as a relic in the court, just 
opposite the door of the house. Anthonys Greece. 



Thou satcst upon a stately bed. Upon a 

lofty and high mountain hast thou made thy bed. Bible. 

I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestry with carved 
works, with fine linen of Egypt. 

I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, and aloes, and cinnamon. 
Proverbs. 








MARRIAGE FELICITIES. 



i ARRIAGE (Matt. xxii. 2) is a divine institution. It is 
also a civil contract, (Gen. ii. 21) uniting one man and 
one woman together in the relation of husband and 
wif " e - Among the benefits of the institution are (i), 
> Domestic comfort ; (2) Provision for the health, edu 
cation, and support of children ; (3) The distribution of society 
into families, or small communities, with a master as governor over 
them, who has natural as well as legal authority ; (4) The security 
which arises from parental anxiety, and the confinement of children 
to permanent habitations ; and (5), The encouragement of industry. 
No sins are more frequently and pointedly condemned by the 
Bible, than such as violate or impair the sacredness of the marriage 
relation ; and nothing is wanting to raise this to the highest, purest 
and most sacred relation in which two human beings can stand to 
each other, but obedience to the precepts of the Holy Scriptures on 
this subject." 

"MARRIAGE IS HONOURABLE IN ALL." 

Marriage is born of the skies, 

And woman for man was made fair, 

And the sweetest and tend rest of ties 
Are those which unite wedded pair. 



222 PROPOSAL AM) ESPOUSAL. 

4 1 will make a help meet, it was said, 

When man stood in Eden alone, 
And so out of his side not his head 

Was made flesh of flesh, bone of bone. 

And woman stood forth to the view, 
Fair woman ! sweet creature of God ; 

And thus out of one were made two, 

Then two were made one, which seems odd. 

So bachelors all take a wife, 

You cannot improve on God s plan ; 

She ll double the joys of your life, 
And finish your growth as a man. 

The foregoing effusion, written and presented as a "bridal gift," 
at a wedding not a thousand miles from Brantford, Ontario, is not 
inserted here merely to fill up space, or to please the ear with the 
jingle of light rhyme ; but from a belief in the truth of the genial 
matter therein contained, and we find ourself in excellent company 
withal which though Apocryphal in name, is yet not so in senti 
ment, when it says, " Blessed is the man that hath a virtuous wife, 
for the number of his days shall be doubled." 

"The grace of a wife delighteth her husband, and her discretion 
will fatten his bones. 

As the sun when it riscth in the high heavens, so is the beauty 
of a good wife in the ordering of the house." 

The Greeks called a married man by a name, which signified 
"complete," implying that an unmarried one was not altogether 
perfect : and rightly so, for, as saith the poet : 

A wife s a man s best piece; who till he marries, 
Wants making up : she is the shrine to which 
Nature doth send us forth on pilgrimage ; 
She was a scion taken from that tree, 






ESPOUSAL. 223 

Into which, if she has no second grafting, 
The world can have no fruit ; she is man s 
Arithmetic, which teaches him to number 
And multiply himself in his own children ; 
She is the good man s paradise, and the bad s 
First step to heaven, a treasure which, who wants, 
Cannot be trusted to posterity, 
Nor pay his own debts ; she s a golden sentence 
Writ by our Maker, which the angels may 
Discourse of, only men know how to use, 
And none but devils violate. S/tirley. 

And the gallant Pope, deformed and unshapely as he was, comes 
to woman s defence, and rightly champions her cause, when he 
sings : 

Some wicked wits have libell d all the fair ; 

With matchless impudence they style a wife 

The dear-bought curse and lawful plague of life ; 

A bosom serpent, a domestic evil, 

A night invasion, and a mid-day devil. 

Let not the wise these sland rous words regard, 

But curse the bones of ev ry lying bard, 

All other goods by fortune s hands are given, 

A wife is the peculiar gift of Heaven 

A wife ! ah, gentle deities, can he 

That has a wife, e er feel adversity ? 

Would men but follow what the sex advise, 

All things would prosper, all the world grow wise. 



" Marriage was very honourable in several of the Grecian Com 
monwealths, being very much encouraged by their laws, as the 
abstaining from it was discountenanced, and in some places pun 
ished ; for the strength of States consisting in their number of peo- 



224 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

pie, those that refused to contribute to their increase, \verc thought 
very cold in their affections to their country. The Lacedemonians 
are very remarkable for their severity against those who deferred 
marrying, as well as those who wholly abstained from it No man 
among them could live without a wife beyond the time limited by 
their Lawgiver, without incurring several penalties ; as first, the 
magistrates commanded such, once every winter, to run round the 
public Forum nude ; and to increase their shame, they sung a cer 
tain song, the words whereof aggravated their crime, and exposed 
them to ridicule. Another of their punishments was, to be exclu 
ded from the exercises wherein young virgins contended. A third 
penalty was inflicted upon a certain solemnity, wherein the women 
dragged them round an altar, beating them all the time with their 
fists. Lastly they were deprived of that respect and observance, 
which the younger sort were obliged to pay to their elders ; and 
therefore saith Plutarch, no man found fault with what was said to 
Dercyllidas, a great captain, and one that had commanded armies, 
who coming into the place of Assembly, a young man, instead cf 
rising and making room, told him, Sir, you must not expect that 
houour from me being young, which cannot be returned to me by 
a child of yours when I am old. To these we may add the Athe 
nian law, whereby all that were commanders, orators, or intrusted 
with any public affairs, were to be married and have children." 

For, says Solomon, In the multitude of people is the king s 
honour ; but in the want of people is the destruction of the 
prince. 

And the first commandment (after the prohibition) is, Be fruitful 
and multiply, and replenish the earth. Whereupon some have 
made it a question, whether this is not a command, obliging all men 
to marriage and procreation, as most of the Jewish doctors are of 
opinion. But to this it may be replied : ist. That it is indeed a 
command, obliging all men so far as not to suffer the extinction of 
mankind, in which sense it did absolutely bind Adam and Eve, as 



ESPOUSAL. 225 

also Noah, and his sons, and their wives, after the flood. But, 2nd 
that it does not oblige every particular man to many, appears from 
the example of our Lord Jesus, who lived and died in an unmarried 
state ; from his commendation of those who made themselves 
eunuchs for the kingdom of God (Matt. xix. 12), and from St. 
Paul s frequent approbation of Virginity (i Cor. vii. I, &c.) And 
therefore, 3rd, it is here rather a permission than a command, though 
it be expressed in the form of a command, as other permissions fre 
quently are. Vid. Genesis ii. 16 ; Deuteronomy xiv. 4.. Po 
A nnotations. 

And how well this command to "increase and multiply" was 
obeyed in the early ages of mankind, and how highly commenda 
tory the fulfilment of it was among even the Jews themselves, may 
be inferred from the fact that the Hebrew Judges (see Book of 
Judges) were all, or almost all, men of large families. 

And Jerubbaael the son of Joash went and dwelt in his own 
house. 

And Gideon had three score and ten sons of his body begotten : 
for he had many wives. 

* * a 

And he went unto his father s house at Ophrah, and slew his 
brethren the -sons of Jerubbaael, being threescore and ten persons, 
upon one stone : notwithstanding yet Jotham the youngest son of 
Jerubbaael was left, for he hid himself. 

* * * * 

And after him arose Jair, a Gileadite, and judged Israel twenty 
and two years. 

And he had thirty sons that rode on thirty ass colts, and they 
had thirty cities, which are called Havoth-jair unto this day, which 
are in the land of Gilead. 

* -:> # * 

And after him Ibzan of Bethlehem judged Israel. 
*15 



226 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

And he had thirty sons, and thirty daughters, whom he sent 
abroad, and took in thirty daughters from abroad for his sons. And 
he judged Israel seven years. 



And after him Abdon, the son of Killcl, a Pirathonite, judge of 
Israel. 

And he had forty sons and thirty nephews, that rode on three 
score and ten ass colts : and he judged Israel eight years. 

It will, therefore, be clearly seen that to decry matrimony is to 
deny posterity, to ignore paternity, and to despise the truest and 
dearest company ; for even a small family may prove a great bless 
ing, and a little woman be a large treasure, as observes the some 
what facetious, but decidedly magnanimous " Rc~d Burton," when 
he thus exclaims : 

I d like a wife a little wife ; 

I ask no stately dame ; 
No regal Juno s lightning glance 

Can set my heart aflame. 
Let others bend, with eager gaze, 

At haughty beauties throne, 
But, ah ! it is a fairy queen 

Who claims me as her own ! 

A dainty, wee and winsome thing, 

Like her, the poet sings ; 
Who seems to tread this grosser earth 

Upborne by fairy wings 
W T ho walks, and talks, and sings, and smiles, 

In such a witching way, 
That love must in her pathway spring 

As flowers spring in May! 



ESPOUSAL. 227 

Ah ! Nature is a thrifty dame, 

Who will economize ; 
Her precious things she always makes 

So very small in size. 
And though her ruder wealth she pours 

On river, sea and land, 
Her perfect works are miniatures, 

Wrought finely out by hand. 

The little bird, as all can vouch, 

Has e er the sweetest song ; 
To little flowers in the shade 

The sweetest blooms belong ; 
The little gem of purest ray 

Is found without a flaw 
And little women rule the world 

By universal law. 

And yet her hands, so soft and white, 

Seem only made to cling ; 
Her little fingers, rosy-tipped, 

Seem fettered by a ring ; 



But trust those feet those little feet 

To never trip or fall ; 
And trust those little hands for help, 

If help can come at all ; 
And trust that little head to solve 

The puzzling things of life 
For biggest heart, and mind, and soul. 

Go trust a little wife ! 



PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 
A SOUVENIR OF LOVE. 

Dearest, sweetest, fondest, best, 
Lean your head upon my breast ; 
Loving arms shall thee entwine, 
Loving hands be placed in mine ; 
Throbbing hearts with pleasure beat, 
Happy eyes in gladness meet ; 
Peace and joy now reign supreme, 
Love our all-absorbing theme. 

Picture of a living love, 
True as angel-notes above ; 
Constant as the Polar star, 
Shining in the heavens afar ; 
Deep and boundless as the sea, 
Ever pure and ever free ; 
Warm and bright as Southern skies, 
Earthly Eden Paradise ! 

Love like this doth ever siner, 

o * 

Echoes wake and echoes ring ; 
Love and pain may sometimes meet, 
Love can make the pain a sweet ; 
Grief and care shall flee away, 
Darkest night be turned to day ; 
Winter snows to Summer showers, 
Autumn leaves to Spring s fresh flowers. 

Sordid pleasures have their day, 
Truth and Love shall ne er decay ; 
Heaven and earth their blessing give, 
Love and Truth shall ever live ; 



PROPOSAL. 229 



Then let love our bosoms thrill, 
Empty hearts may have their fill ; 
The poorest may be rich in love, 
Bless d on earth and crown d above ! 



Bonus Aragus. 



WEDDED ONENESS. 

" Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mothar, and shall 
cleave unto his wife : and they shall be one flesh." 

The mutual identity and relationship of the primal married pair 
stand clearly revealed in three striking particulars. First, they 
were made of the same living substance flesh and bone : 

" And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of 
my flesh : she shall be called woman, because she was taken out 
of man." 

Second, they were created the same day. God created them 
male and female, and called their name Adam in the same day that 
he created them. Some of the Rabbis say (and what is it they 
won t say ?) that Eve was not created till Sunday (or, rather, the 
Jewish Sabbath). " But let God be true and every man a liar." 

Thirdly, they were called by the same name, "Adam." One 
name stood for both. Her identity was lost in his. He called 
their name Adam in the day that he created them. Here, then, at 
the very beginning 1 , we have the origin of the custom of the woman 

J o o o 

taking her husband s name. Adam himself afterward called her 
Eve (living), significant of her universal motherhood, or "because 
she was the mother of all living." Yet, though the proper name 
was not given her at the first, the common noun was pronounced 
upon her at sight, as it were. She shall be called Woman, says the 
enraptured Adam, because she was taken out of the man, 

" Rabbi Joshua, of Saknin, said in the name of Rabbi Levi : 
The Lord considered from what part of the man he should form 



230 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

woman ; not from the head, lest she should be proud; not from the 
eyes, lest she should wish to see everything ; not from the mouth, 
lest she should be talkative ; nor from the ear, lest she should wish 
to hear everything ; nor from the heart, lest she should be jealous ; 
nor from the hand, lest she should wish to find out everything ; nor 
from the feet, in order that she might not be a wanderer ; only 
from the most hidden place, that is covered even when a man is 
naked namely, the rib. " Talmud. 

Some think that Adam called his wife Eve, in belief that God 
would make her the mother not only of all mankind in common, 
but of the promised seed in particular, by whom he hoped to be 
raised from the dead to immortal life. 

So Eva, or Hava/i, may be interpreted 1 ira, or vivificatrix^ be 
cause she was the mother of all, and because mankind, when sen 
tenced to death, were by her saved alive. 

Hence, when the first child was born, she called him, jubilantly, 
Cain (possession), saying, I have gotten a man from the Lord (no 
common child, this) ; but she soon found that he was more related, 
morally, to the devil, and hence in her chagrin and disappointment 
she called the second son Abel (vanity or breath,) 



THE BEST I 

Man s other helpers come and go ; 

But this of God s providing, 
Still faithful clings through weal or woe, 

For evermore abiding : 

His help in sickness, help in health ; 

In youthful prime, and life s declining ; 
His help in poverty and wealth, 

Man s twin life-light forever shining : 



ESPOUSAL. 231 



His help to counsel, comfort, cheer, 
Whate er may overtake him ; 

His help to wipe away the tear, 
Though all mankind forsake him. 

Thou fairer Adam ! sweet "Man-Ess!" 
Earth s charm ; man s consolation ; 

Thy genesis was but to bless, 
All grace in thy creation ! 



WEDDED LOVE. 

Hail ! wedded love ! mysterious law ! true source 

Of human offspring ! sole propriety 

In Paradise, of all things common else! 

By thee adultrous lust was driv n from men, 

Among the bestial herds to range ; by thcc 

(Founded in reason, loyal, just and pure) 

Relations dear, and all the charities 

Of father, son, and brother, first were known. 

Perpetual fountain of domestic sweets ! 

Whose bed is undefil d, and chaste pronounc d 

Here love his golden shafts employs ; here lights 

His constant lamp, and waves his purple wings ; 

Reigns here, and revels. Milton. 



THE MARRIAGE BOAT. 



Oh ! surely marriage is a great and sacred responsibility. It is 
a bark in which two souls venture out on life s stormy sea, with no 
aid but their own to help them ; the well-doing of their frail vessel 
must in future solely rest upon themselves ; no one can take part 
either to mar or make their bliss or misery. From the husband 



23? PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

alone must henceforth flow all the happiness that the wife is des 
tined to know ; he is the only being she must care to please ; all 
other men are now to be to her but shadows glancing on the wall. 
And he what is his share in the compact ? How does he fulfil his 
promise redeem his pledge ? For does he not swear to guard and 
cherish, and look leniently on the faults of the gentle girl he takes 
to his heart ; and in return for all her duty and sweet obedience, be 
true to her in sickness and health, in wealth and in poverty, for 
ever and for ever? And blessed are the unions in which those 
feelings are fostered and preserved. Hamilton. 

Man and wife are equally concerned to avoid all offence of each 
other in the beginning of their conversation. Every little tiling can 
blast an infant blossom. Jeremy Taylor. 

If you would have the nuptial union last, 

Let virtue be the bond that ties it fast. Rcm. 



ADAMS SLEEP WAS IT A TRANCE? 

And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, 
and he slept ; and he took one of the ribs and closed up the flesh 
instead thereof." The deep sleep made Adam less sensible of the 
pain which otherwise he would have felt in the opening of his side 
if he had not been unconscious, or if his mind had not been wholly 
intent upon something else, as it was in this sleep, which was ac 
companied with an ecstacy (so the seventy translate this word, and 
it is agreeable to what we rend in Job iv. 13) in thoughts from the 
visions of the night, when deep sleep falleth upon man, &c. And it 
i.s thought that it was represented to Adam s mind both what was 
done to him and the mystery of it, as appears by his words in the 
23rd and 24th verses, where he says, "This is now bone of my 
bone," &c. 



ESPOUSAL. 233 

THE "SEVENTY" CALL IT AN ECSTACY. 

Mine eyes he closed, but open left the cell 

Of fancy, my internal sight, by which 

(Abstract as in a trance) methought I saw 

Tho sleeping, where I lay, and saw the shape 

Still glorious, before whom awake I stood 

Under his forming hands a creature grew 

Man-like, but different sex ; so lovely fair, 

That what seemed fair in all the world, seemed now 

Mean, or in her summed up, in her contained, 

And in her looks, which from that time infused 

Sweetness into my heart, unfelt before ; 

And into all things from her air inspired 

The spirit of love and amorous delight. Milton, 



THE NUMBER OF MAN S RIBS. 

"And he took one of the ribs," &c. Thomas BarthoUmus, a 
famous physician, thinks that Adam had thirteen ribs on each side, 
and that God took away one pair, with the muscular parts that ad 
here to them, and out of them made Eve. For commonly men 
have but twelve ribs, though sometimes there have been found, as 
Galen and Riolanus testify, those who have had thirteen, and very 
rarely some who have had but eleven. Even as Bartholiim4S him 
self observed in a lusty strong man whom he dissected in the year 
1657, who had but eleven on one side, and a small appearance of 
a twelfth on the other. 

" And the rib which the Lord God had taken from man made 
he a woman." Eve was not made out of the ground, as Adam had 
been, but out of his side, that he might breed a greater love between 
them as part of the same whole ; whereby he also effectually re. 



234 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

commended marriage to all mankind as founded in nature, and as 
the re-union of man and \voman. It is likewise observable that 
there is no mention made of his breathing a soul into her as into 
him ; for Moses only explains what was peculiar to Eve, which was 
her being made out of his side, the rest is supposed in these words : 
" I will make a help meet (fit) for him," which the vulgar Latin 
rightly translates, simile er, like unto himself. And as the word 
anti among the Greeks denotes likeness and similitude, as well as 
contrary, the woman, therefore was in all things like him ; only he 
made out of the earth, she out of him, that he might cleave unto 
her with the clearest love and affection. It is also intimated (Gen. 
i. 27) that they were both made in the image of God, which effec 
tually disposes of the curious and silly notion of the Chinese, that 
women have no souls. 



SATAN JUBILANT OVER THE FALL. 

In the old Greek mysteries, the people used to carry about a 
serpent, and were instructed to cry " Eva," whereby the devil seemed 
to exult, as it were, over the unhappy fall of our first mother. 

Philip Melancthon tells a story to this purpose, of some priests 
somewhere in Asia, who carry about with them a serpent in a bra 
zen vessel, and as they attend it with a great deal of music and 
charms in verse, the serpent lifts up itself, opens its mouth, and 
thrusts out the head of a beautiful virgin ; the devil in this manner 
glorying in the downfall of Eve among these poor idolaters. And 
an account of much the like nature is given us in books of travel in 
the West Indies. Nic/wl s Conference. 

There was a story of Adam and Eve, of the tree and the ser 
pent, extant among the Indians long ago, and, as travellers tell us, 
is still preserved among the inhabitants of Peru and among the 
Brahmins. 



ESPOUSAL. 235 

A BETTER HALF BRINGS BETTER QUARTERS. 

" When Dr. Wendell Holmes brother John was advised to take 
a wife and live in a better house, he said he presumed, if he should 
get a better half, he would be sure of better quarters." 

" I ve a neat little cottage, 

It stands by the street ; 
If its outside is humble, 

Its inside is neat. 

I love my sweet Jinnie 

She s buxom and fair, 
And sings like a birdie 

To welcome me there ! 

I mind not the hardship, 

The trouble of life, 
For we keep up the courtship, 

Although she s my wife." 



WEDDED LOVE S DEVOTION. 

I feel my spirit humbled when you call 

My love of home a virtue ; tis the part 

Yourself have play d has fix d me ; for the heart 

Will anchor where its treasure is ; and small 

As is the love I bear you, tis my all 

The widow s mite, compared with your desert : 

You and our quiet room, then, are the mart 

Of all my thoughts ; tis there they rise and fall. 

The parent bird that in its wanderings 

O er hill and dale, through copse and leafy spray, 



PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Sees nought to lure his constant heart away 
From her who gravely sits with furled wings, 
Watching their mutual charge : howe er he roam, 
His eye still fixes on his mossy home. Clarke. 



WEDDED LOVE S TRUE HARMONY. 

Hail, holy love, thou word that sums all bliss, 

Gives and receives all bliss, fullest when most 

Thou givest ! spring-head of ail felicity, 

Deepest when most is drawn ! emblem of God ! 

Mysterious, infinite, exhaustless love ! 

On earth mysterious, and mysterious still 

In Heaven ! sweet chord that harmonizes all 

The harps of Paradise ! 

Mail, love ! first love, thou word that sums all bliss! 

The sparkling cream of all time s blessedness 

The silken down of happiness complete ! 

Discerner of the riper grapes of joy, 

She gathercth, and selecteth with her hand, 

All finest relishes, all fairest sights, 

All rarest odours, all divinest sounds, 

All thoughts, all feelings dearest to the soul ; 

And brings the holy m : ::ture home, and fills 

The heart with all superlatives of bliss. 

Polio/:. 



Behold Eve coming forth, 
Made to double Adam s worth 

Completing nature s animated plan ; 
For we find in all the past, 
Ere the fairest thing, the last, 

And "woman is the glory of the man." 



PROPOSAL. 237 

THE BRIDE. 



She standcth blushing by his side, 
Fairest of earth-born creatures ; 

The lily s bloom and rose s pride, 
Well-wedded in her features : 

Love s pilgrim with a backward sigh, 
Going out no more returning : 

A newer star illumes the sky, 
A brighter sun is burning. 

Two living streams converging flow, 
With current nought can sever ; 

The confluent waves no refluence know, 
What God doeth is forever. 

The stronger with the gentler glides, 

The grosser with the finer ; 
As Harmony her numbers guides, 

The major with the minor. 

And what with her shall we compare, 
In this, life s grand transition ; 

What symbol, object, emblem fair, 
Shall furnish Type s provision ? 

Like startled, shy, spray-swinging bird, 
With balanced wing a-quiver ; 

That sees the grass beneath her stirred, 
Beside the bending river : 

She hangs uncertain poised for flight 
Yet doubting the occasion ; 

Like wav rer undecided, quite, 
Twixt warning and persuasion : 



238 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Like timid deer, in distant dell. 

Descrying object moving ; 
S ime shadowy form it knows not well, 

Through woodland twilight roving : 

She gazing, starts, and starting, turns ; 

Then turns again and pauses ; 
Her eager spirit trembles, burns 

To find out what the cause is : 

Like ship descending down the "slips," 
Gay-decked for trial motion 

Going trembling forward as she dips, 
To embrace the buoyant ocean. 

As conscious when she wooes the wave, 
And walks the tidal water, 

The deep must be her home or grave ; 
Fair Neptune s bannered daughter : 

In such suspense the maiden stands, 
Twixt love and home endearment ; 

For none e er felt love s golden bands, 
But knew what wholesome fear meant 

Solicitous, yet anxious, she, 
To prove untried relations ; 

Like traveller lured by minstrelsy, 
Of foreign celebrations : 

Some fragments of the strain he knows, 
But not the complete measure ; 

And longs the burden to unclose, 
Of song s unfolding treasure. 

Oh, stronger is elective love, 

Than love of sister, sire ; 
And they who feel its ardor prove, 

The coals are coals of fire. 



-&& 



MARRIAGES IN STRANGE PLACES. 




HfclMflARRIAGS have oftentimes been celebrated in curious 

^^PiBUfjhk 

iliX^l^ places, for the sake of novelty, or notoriety, or both. 

;^%%^ In passing through the Mammoth Cave, the guide 

Siv< points out a place, near what is called the " Gothic 

OOW Q 

2C Pulpit" (a remarkable formation of stalagmite, closely 
resembling an old-fashioned "desk," as the pulpit is 
called in America), where a young belle of Southern climes was 
wedded to the object of her choice, against the express wishes of 
her dying aunt, whom she had promised that she never would 
marry "any man on the face of the earth." So the ingenious and 
prevaricating maiden took her affianced below the earth to marry 
him, and thus kept her word and got a husband, too. 

Others have been married in balloons, and have gone up as high 
above the earth as the aforesaid party did below it. 

But a better and more sensible wedding, and scarcely less 
unique, was celebrated by a minister of the gospel, who has now 
gone to his reward. 

" It is said of the beloved Summerfield, that on one occasion, 
before a large audience, he announced a marriage ceremony about 
to be performed. The excited assembly, in almost breathless sus 
pense, waited the introduction of the parties concerned, when the 
devoted one announced himself as one of the parties, and observed, 
in a manner solemn as eternity, that he was now about to be united 
in marriage covenant. He then, with a solemnity never to be for- 

239 



240 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

gotten, brought himself under the bonds of allegiance to Christ 
to take him as the bridegroom of his soul and supreme object of 
his heart s adoration ; and to have all his interests for time and 
eternity in prominent, entire and perpetual oneness with Christ. 

You may say, I am fearful of thus solemnly engaging myself, 
lest, in an unguarded moment, I may violate my pledge and is it 
not better to remain unpledged, than to vow and not perform? Can 
you conceive yourself so won with the loveliness of a fellow-being 
as to venture in marriage covenant without fearful forebodings of 
inconstancy? Were I, on this principle, to dissuade you from en 
tering into the solemnities of the marriage .contract with one worthy 
of your love, would you not reproachfully repel the suggestion with 
the persuasion that I had but little knowledge of the strength of 
your affection, or the exceeding amiability of your friend ? Would 
you not rather contemplate the blessedness of an enduring relation 
ship, in confident expectation that a riper knowledge would but 
heighten your estimation, and increase the ardor of your love ? 

And now can you not, in expectation of corresponding results, 
contemplate an ever-enduring union with the Altogether Lovely ? 

If you ever thus take Christ as the bridegroom of your soul, the 
decisive hour must arrive for the consummation of that union. It 
has only been delayed for want of an entire aquiescence on your 
part The heavenly bridegroom even now is waiting with glorious 
attendants from the uppper world to hear your decision, to witness 
the consummation, and to ratify and record on the pages of eter 
nity the infinitely responsible act. He now presents the terms of 
the covenant, and invites you in his strength to lay hold upon it. 
Will you keep him longer waiting, and subject yourself to the fear 
ful probability of his taking a returnlcss departure, or will you sig 
nalize this eventful, solemn hour on the annals of eternity, as the 
specific period when you subscribed your name to a covenant which 



ESPOUSAL. 24! 

brought you under obligations never to be annulled, of a perpetual 
surrender of your being to him ? 

O happy day, that fixed my choice 
On thec, my Saviour and my God ! 

Well may this glowing heart rejoice, 
And tell its raptures all abroad. " 



MARRIED ON HORSEBACK. 

" A romantic marriage occurred last Monday night, about eight 
o clock, in front of the residence of Justice McCann, on Green St., 
Louisville. George A. Elkins and Mollic Stewart, a runaway couple 
hailing from Henry County, Ky., shouted a loud hello several times 
to attract the attention of the magistrate, who came out to the 
street with a lantern, and asked what was the matter. 

The young gentleman and lady were seated on the same horse, 
and were drenched with the rain which had been falling for several 
hours. Elkins said they wanted to be married at once, and that 
the ceremony would have to be hurried, as the father and brothers 
of the young lady were in pursuit of them. 

The Justice asked the couple to shew their license, which was 
done, and then invited them into the house, where the ceremony 
could be performed. This the couple refused to do, on the ground 
of not having sufficient time, and asked, instead to be married then 
and there on horseback. 

The Squire consented after some hesitation, and called to Col. 
Hardin, who happened to be passing at the time, to hold an um 
brella over the head of the two while the service could be performed. 
The ceremony was brief, and at the conclusion the groom remun 
erated the Squire with a liberal sum, when the couple rode away. 
The bride was young, very pretty, while the husband looked like a 

prosperous and well-to-do young farmer." 
16* 



MARRIAGE CUSTOMS. 



URIDKMEN, OK "THE CHILDREN OE THE BRIDECIIAMBER." 




IIKX came to him the disciples of John, saying, Why do 
we and the Pharisees fast oft, but thy disciples fast not ? 

- *y \\ 

And Jesus said unto them, Can the children of the 
bridechambcr mourn as long as the bridegroom is with 
them ? but the days will come when the bridegroom shall 
be taken from them, and then shall they fast. New 
Testament. 

The children of the bridechambcr were the "bridemen," the 
young men who used to be attendants at marriages on the bride 
groom. Their attendance continued seven days, during which time 
they were exempted from attending to the stated times of prayer, 
the use of phylacteries, the dwelling in booths, if at the time of the 
Feast of the Tabernacle, and from the occasions of fasting. The 
Pharisees themselves sanctioned these regulations. 

It would be unreasonable for the companions of a bridegroom 
to fast during the days allotted to his nuptials, which were usually 
spent in feasting ; but if any calamity tore him from them, their 
joy would be turned to mourning, and their feasting into fasting. 
In like manner, it would be improper for his disciples to fast while 
they had the comfort of his presence ; but he would soon be taken 

242 



ESPOUSAL. 243 

from them, and then they would meet with hardships and trials, 
which would make fasting seasonable. Pictorial and Explanatory 
New Testament. 



THE WEDDING GARMENT. 

And when the king came in to see the guests, he saw there a 
man which had not on a wedding garment. 

And he saith unto him, Friend, how earnest thou in hither, not 
having a wedding garment? And he was speechless. 

Then said the king to the servants, Bind him hand and foot, 
and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness ; there shall 
be weeping and gnashing of teeth. 

For many are called, but few are chosen. New Testament. 

~^x - ,6. - ,. -- g. - ^^^ 

In the East, everyone that came to a marriage-teast was ex 
pected to appear in a handsome and elegant dress, which was called 
" the wedding garment." This was frequently a white robe. When 
the guest was a stranger, or was not able to provide such a robe, it 
was usual for the master of the feast to furnish him with one ; and 
if he who gave the entertainment was of high rank and opulence, he 
sometimes provided marriage robes for the whole assembly. To 
this custom we have allusion in Homer, and other classic writers, 
and there are some traces of it in the entertainments of the Turkish 
court at this very day. It must be remarked, also, that it was in a 
very high degree indecorous and offensive to good manners to in 
trude into the festivity without this garment. 

It is well known that banquets were generally celebrated in 
rooms that were finely illuminated and richly ordered. And con 
sidering how splendid and magnificent the entertainments of the 
Eastern princes were, it cannot be thought an unnatural circumstance 



-44 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

that such an affront as this offered to the king, his son, his bride, 
and the rest of the company, should be punished with bonds and a 
dungeon. Pictorial and Explanatory New Testament. 

Every guest invited to the wedding, at the royal marriage of 
Sultan Mahmoud, a few years ago, had made expressly for him at 
the expense of the Sultan a wedding garment. No one, however 
dignified by his station, was permitted to enter into the presence- 
chamber of that sovereign without a change of raiment. 

The dungeons were not far from the banqueting room, but deep 
down, below the very foundations, in the bowels of the earth, and 
suggestive of Joan s dreadful hyperbole, "the belly of hell." 



The wedding garment was of another fashion than all the rest ; 
therefore, if thou fashionest thyself like all the rest, thou has not on 
the wedding garment, for this was nothing like unto the rest. 
Christ s garment was of another manner of fashion, differing from 
the rest of the world ; so thy life must be of another fashion than 
the world, or else, as the fashion of the world passcth away, so thou 
shalt pass and perish with it. God cloth not like the fashion of 
the world. Then you must not make religion 

but a table talk, for this is the fashion of the world ; then you must 
not turn with the time, for this is the fashion of the world ; then 
you must not defer to do good till you die, for this is the fashion of 
the world. The world is a bad pattern to follow, because, as the 
flesh followeth the devil, so the world followcth the flesh. There 
fore, say no more, " we must do as the world doth," but say, " we 
must not do as the world doth." You say, you go so because it is 
the fashion ; God saith. " go not so because it is the fashion." If 
you come but in the fashion, you shall be in the abuse. There is 
no man that weareth the cutter s fashion, but he is a cutter ; none 
which cuttcth his hair like them which arc proud, but he is proud ; 



ESPOUSAL. 245 

none that coloreth her face like them which are wanton, but she is 
wanton ; none which sweareth like them which lie, but he will lie 
as well as swear. Therefore, make not your life of the world s 
fashion. 

He which biddeth us refrain from every show of evil would have 
us refrain from the show of idolatry and the show of heresy, for 
these are the greatest evils. But if we be not idolatrous, yet have 
we the show of idolatry ; if we be not of Anti-Christ s religion, yet 
we be of Antichrist s fashion so long as we show forth the same 
badge and cognizance: you know what I mean. This is to jump 
with the world, and leap to hell. This is not to be in fashion, but 
out of fashion. Therefore hear ye now the best fashion. 

* * > ,- # # * # 

The way is like a thicket, and the door like a needle s eye, 
therefore it is impossible for you to come thither. But when you 
send Faith, Hope and Love, those messenger of peace and truth, 
they will bring you word, saying your ruffs must be ruffled, and 
your fardingales (crinolines) crushed, pride must be put off, and 
other sins ; and none shall be kept out of heaven but such as will 
take their sins with them, for they be unbeseeming the country. 
So that ere we come thither we must leave them, like the shadow 
when we go in at the door, and we must shake hands with them, 
and bid them farewell. Henry SuntJi, (i6jo). 






aH^^ 



ECCENTRIC BRIDEGROOMS. 



SOME SPICY ANECDOTES RELATING TO WEDDINGS, MISHAPS 
TO MINISTERS, ETC. 



HERE was a clergyman who married a couple, and at 
V;W&> the wedding breakfast one of the bridesmaids ex 
pressed a wish to sec that mystic document, a wedding 
license, which she had never beheld in her lifetime. 
The request occasioned a fearful discovery. The 
clergyman had quite forgotten to ask for the license ; the bride 
groom had left it to the best man to procure it, and this the man 
had forgotten to do. Of course the marriage was no marriage at 
all. The wedding party broke up in dismay, and the ceremony 
was performed again next day. The poor clergyman, however, 
never got over the effects of his blunder." 

"On another occasion, a clergyman got himself into consider 
able trouble. He was of the type known as Ritualistic, and per 
suaded a worthy couple, who had been married at a non-Conformist 
chapel, that they had not been ecclesiastically married at all, and 
that it was necessary that they should be married over again at the 
parish church. This was very much resented by the non-Conformist 

interest, and the clergyman was put upon his trial at the Oxford 

246 



ESPOUSAL. 247 



assizes. The judge took a very lenient view, and said that, as the 
parties had already been legally married, further service was 
illusory, and that he might just as well have read Chevy Chase 
over them." 



" In one of his novels, Charles Rcacle makes his hero, a clergy 
man, wonder whether he might not legally marry himself to the 
heroine, especially as they were both cast upon a desolate island. 
It may be well that novelists and novel readers should be aware 
that for a clergyman to officiate at his own marriage is utterly 
illegal." 



" One day an elderly gentleman met a young one. I have 
had a hard day s work, said the young Levite. I began at seven 
o clock this morning by marrying a couple. ( Allow me to inform 
you/ said his senior, that a marriage at that time of clay, according 
to English law, is no marriage at all. Moreover, to the best of my 
belief, you have made yourself liable to seven years penal servitude. 
Between eight and twelve is the prescribed time. You had better 
go back as soon as you can and marry them over again. 



O O-OO O O- 



" I have known brides, v/hen the grooms have failed to make 
the proper responses, to prompt them immediately, with the great 
est facility. As for the men, they commit all kinds of blunders 
and bunglings. I have known a man, at that very trying and nerv 
ous moment, follow the clergyman within the communion rail, and 
prepare to take a place opposite him. I have known a man, when 
the minister stretched out his hand to unite those of the couple, 
take it vigorously in his own, and give it a hearty shake. Some 
ladies have an almost unconquerable reluctance to use the word 
obey one or two, if their own statements are to be accepted, have 
ingeniously constructed the word nobey. The word, however, has 



PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

formally to be admitted into the language. There was one girl, 
who was being married by a very kind old clergyman, who abso 
lutely refused to utter the word obey. The minister suggested, 
that if she was unwilling to utter the word aloud, she should whis 
per it to him, but the young lady refused even this kind of a com 
promise. Further, however, than this the clergyman refused to 
accommodate her ; but when he was forced to dismiss them all 
without proceeding any further, the recalcitrant young person con 
sented to obe. " 



"The difficult}-, however, is not always made on the side of the 
lady. On one occasion the bridegroom wished to deliver a little 
oration, qualifying his vow, and describing in what sense and to 
what extent he was using the words of the formula. He was, of 
course, given to understand that nothing of this kind could be per 
mitted. There was one man who accompanied the formula with 
sotto voce remarks, which must have been exceedingly disagreeable 
to the officiating minister. He interpolated remarks after the 
fashion of Hurchell s Fudge. With this ring I thec wed ; that s 
superstition. With my body I thce worship ; that s idolatry. 
With all my worldly goods I thce endow; that s a lie. It is a 
wonder that such a being was not conducted out of church by the 
beadle." 

~*2)(2S~ 

"This puts me in mind of an anecdote that is told ot a man, 
who in his time was a Cabinet Minister. There was a great dis 
cussion on the question whether a man can marry on ^"300 a year. 
All I can say/ said the great man, is that when I said, With all 
my worldly goods 1 thce endow, so far from having 300, I ques 
tion whether, when all my debts were paid, I had 300 pence. Yes, 
my love, said his wife, but you had your splendid intellect. I 
didn t endow you with that, ma am, sharply retorted the right hon 
orable husband." 



ESPOUSAL. 249 

! Sweet girl ! you know three hundred pounds 

Would prove a slender axis 
For household wheels to run their rounds 

In yearly rent and taxes. 
You see, dear, that our home must be 

Out West, about the squares, 
With good reception rooms full three 

And servants flights of stairs. 
You must have soirees now and then 

(Though I can t see their use), 
And I must often have some men 

To dinner ( a la Russe. 
I ve asked my uncle for his aid, 

Of course, he won t accord it ; 
And so our bliss must be delayed, 

For means, love, won t afford it." 



" The following case was related to me by a Bishop of the 
Church of England : There was a man who officiated as a clergy 
man in a large town for about fifteen years. At the lapse of that 
time it was accidentally discovered that he was an impostor, A 
bishop came, or the man went into a new diocese ; anyhow, the 
request came that he would produce his letters of orders. Letters 
of orders are precious and remarkable documents ; if once lost they 
cannot be replaced. The pseudo clergyman replied, expressing his 
regret, that in the course of removal the letters had been hopelessly 
mislaid, but hoped that the length of time in which he had served 
>n the diocese would be a sufficient voucher. The Bishop wrote 
back to say that he regretted the loss of the letters of orders, and 
that it would be quite sufficient if he gave exact dates, which would 
enable him to refer to the diocese registry. The imposture then 
became known. It was a matter of great anxiety to settle what 



250 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

had best be clone under such circumstances. Of course, a very 
large number of marriages had been performed during these fifteen 
years, not one of which was legal. The first suggestion was that 
an act should be passed making these marriages legal. There was 
objections to this course. It was considered that an immense deal of 
pain would be caused by the publication of the invalidity of these 
marriages, and that peculiar hardships would be done in the case of 
children where one or both parents had died in the meantime. On 
a certain evening there was a solemn discussion between the Bishop 
cf the diocese and the Home Secretary, the result of which was a 
communication to the false clergyman, that if he left England im 
mediately, and forever, proceedings woul 1 not be taken, but that 
otherwise he would be prosecuted." 



oooo- 



" At a negro wedding, when the minister read the words, love, 
honor and obey, the groom interrupted him, and said : Read that 
agin, sah ; read it once mo , so s de lacly kin ketch de full solemnity 
of de meaning. I se been married befo ." 



A VERY ECCENTRIC MARRIAGE. 

Here is an extract from a newspaper ot 181 1 : " Last week, in 
Hertfordshire, John Freeman, a chimney-sweeper, to Miss Priscilla 
Thackthwaite, with a fortune of 4,000. Miss Thackthwaite was 
a very eccentric character, and on her coming of age, declared that 
she would be married either to a soldier, a sailor, a cobbler or a 
chimney-sweeper. In consequence of this declaration, Peter Nor 
man, a soldier ; Henry Dalton, a sailor ; James Hunt, a cobbler, 
and John Freeman, a chimney-sweeper, respectively paid their ad 
dresses to this fair female, and exerted all their abilities to win her 
heart. After a minute s deliberation on the merits of the different 
suitors, she gave the preference to the member of the sooty tribe." 
English Exchange. 



ESPOUSAL. 251 

CREELING THE BRIDEGROOM. 

A Scottish custom of " Auld Lang Syne," in connection with 
marriage, was as follows : Early in the day after the marriage 
those interested in the proceedings assembled at the home of the 
new-married couple, bringing with them a " creel " or basket, which 
they filled with stones. The young husband, on being brought to 
the door, had the creel firmly fixed to his back, and with it in this 
position had to run the round of the town, or at least the chief 
portion of it, followed by a number of men to see that he did not 
drop his burden, the only condition on which he was allowed to do 
so being that his wife should come after him and kiss him. As re 
lief depended altogether on the wife, it would sometimes happen 
that the husband did not need to run more than a few yards ; but 
when she was more than ordinarily bashful, or wished to have a 
little sport at the expense of her lord and master which it may be 
supposed would not infrequently be the case he had to carry his 
load a considerable distance. This custom was very strictly en 
forced, for the person who was last creeled had charge of the cere 
mony, and he was naturally anxious that no one should escape. 
It would seem that this practice came to an end about sixty years 
ago, in the person of one Robert Young, who, on the ostensible 
plea of a sore back, lay abed all the day after his marriage, and 
obstinately refused to get up and be creeled. He had been thrice 
married before, and no doubt felt he had enough of creeling. 



" A couple were married at a fair, for a prize, recently, at Onon- 
daga, N. Y. A local journal says : In response to the offer of a 
prize, a couple mounted a high platform, and were married in the 
presence of assembled and hurrahing thousands. Cheering and 
laughable exclamations broke out at the various points in the cere 
mony, embarrassing the minister very much. Finally it was over, 



252 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

and the fair bride was kissed by the groom, and six groomsmen, 
fourteen reporters, and more than twenty-five men who had taken 
prizes. It was an incongruous beginning to the serious duties of 
married life the climax, so far as we have reached yet, to the ten 
dency to regard the entrance upon the solemn obligations of matri 
mony as a joke. The same journal suggests, with grim pleasantry, 
that next year the managers of the fair should vary the programme 
by offering a prize to any one who will die on the grounds. That 
would be a matter still further removed from the sphere of joking 
but the carelessness commonly displayed in rightly preparing for 
that momentous event, which lies before every one, proves that the 
gravity of that also is not generally realized (Ps. xxxix. 4)." 



" A romantic marriage took place in Brooklyn, N. Y., a short 
time ago. In the summer of 1885, a wealthy widow lady residing 
in Brooklyn died, and left an eccentric will. She bequeathed the 
whole of her property, valued at $80,000, in trust to her young 
companion, a charming French lady, who some years before had 
answered her advertisement for a reader and pianist. The young 
lady was enjoined to search for the testator s only son, who ran 
away from home in 1871. It was the widow s wish that if the son 
could be found he and the young French lady should marry, and 
divide her estate equally. If either of the two refused to marry, 
the party refusing was to have one-fourth of the estate, and the 
other party the remaining three-fourths. The search for the runa 
way, which the widow had prosecuted without success, was resumed, 
and this summer he was discovered in Mexico. He returned to 
Brooklyn six weeks ago, but the nature of his mother s will was 
concealed from him. The lawyer, however, introduced him to the 
French lady, who was a total stranger to him. They became at 
tached to each other, and before the young man was informed of 
his mother s arrangement, he asked her to marry him. Then he 



ESPOUSAL. 253 

learned that he was unconsciously fulfilling his mother s wishes. 
As he was an undutiful son, it is possible that unconscious obedi 
ence was the only kind of obedience he would render. God has 
often made use of ungodly men as instruments to carry out His 
purposes. They do His will while they imagine they arc following 
their own volition (Isa. x. 6-7)." 



A METHODIST MINISTER S MATRIMONIAL METHOD. 

About forty years ago there lived a Methodist preacher who 
had resisted all persuasions to marry until he had reached a toler 
ably advanced age. Shortly after entering one of his circuits, a 
maiden lady, also of ripe years, was strongly recommended to him, 
and his friends again urged that he had better get married, repre 
senting that the lady named would probably not refuse to accept 
him, notwithstanding his reputed eccentricities. " Do you think 
tho ?" was the response, for he very perceptibly lisped, "then I ll 
go and thee her." He was a man of his word. His ring at the 
door-bell was answered by the serving maid. " Ith Mith P- 
within ?" briskly, but calmly, asked the minister. "Yes, sir. Will 
you walk in ?" " No, I thank you. Be kind enough to thay to 
Mith P - that I- with to thpeak to her for a moment." Miss 
P -- appeared, and repeated the invitation to walk in. " No, 
thank you ; I ll thoon explain my bithiness. I m the Methodist 
preacher. I m unmarried. My friendth think I d better marry. 
They recommend you for my wife. Have you any objection ?" 
"Whyreally, Mr. S -- ." " There don t anthwcr now. Will 
call thith day week for your reply." At that day week he reap 
peared at the door of Miss P s residence. It was answered by 
the lady herself. " Walk in, Mr. S -- ." " Cannot, ma am. Have 
not time. Start on my circuit round in half an hour. Ith your 
answer ready, ma am ?" ** Oh, do walk in, Mr S -- , it is a very 



254 PROPOSAL AND ESTOUSAL. 

serious matter. I should not like to get out of the way of Provi 
dence." " I perfectly understand you, Mith P -- . We will be 
married thith day week. I will call at thith hour. Pleath be ready, 
ma am." He called on that day week at that hour. She was 
ready ; they were married, and lived happily together. Christian 
Leader. 

Unpoetical and unsentimental as the above manner of courtship 
may appear to the general reader, and distasteful as it may seem 
to the romantic maiden or the chivalrous " cavalier," it is neverthe 
less infinitely preferable, both for piety s sake and propriety s sake, 
to the usual dilly-dallying, shilly-shallying mode of amorous pro 
cedure altogether too common in our midst, both among the religi 
ous and the irreligious portion of the community. All candid 
Christians will, we think, be ready to admit that the courting period 
of life, though very entertaining, interesting, and oftentimes all- 
absorbing in character, is nevertheless one of the barrenest spots in 
the career of a useful professor of the faith of Christ. This common 
sense, practical way of assuming the responsibilities of the marriage 
relation seems, despite its dryness and brevity, to be more consist 
ent with the dignity of the clerical order than the lighter course of 
conduct pursued by a certain German clergyman, who recently 
married an English woman with romantic ideas out on an iceberg 
in the Arctic ocean. 



A WESTERNER S WEDDING DISPATCH. 

Then he looked across the street, and saw the 
signs of the Chicago Museum. "A show, hey? Well, I ll take 
that in, sure." He bought a ticket and passed in, and was soon 
contemplating the pretty girls in the costumes of all nations. Round 
and round he walked, and all the time his wonder grew. He 
glanced furtively and bashfully at the beauties in their gorgeous 



ESPOUSAL. 255 

A nd becoming costumes. "Wonder if they can t talk United 
States ?" he thought. Finally he found a post against which he 
could stand, and thus braced, he pushed his hat brim up out of the 
way, and stared long and earnestly at one of the young ladies, who 
seemed to take his eye. The girl was fully conscious of this ad 
miring look, but, like a well-behaved woman, took no notice of it 
until after the space of some minutes, when the steady gaze brought 
a color to her cheeks, and a half smile to her face, which she at 
tempted to hide by quickly turning about. This was not lost to 
the keen eye of the western man, and several times he moved for 
ward as if to speak to the girl, but each time shrank back bashfully 
and resumed his first position. The girl became somewhat nervous. 
She attempted to dust off the front of her booth with a feather 
brush, but it flew from her fingers upon the floor. The man sprang 
quickly forward, and handed it to her with untaught grace. 

" Thank you, sir," she said, with a smile and a blush. 

" Oh, can you talk American ?" he asked. 

" Yes, sir," she replied. " Why not ?" 

w< Oh, I dunno ; you re wearing a funrin rig, you know." 

" Yes, I am an American," she said. 

" It s a mighty purty rig, anyhow," he said. 

" Do you think so ?" 

"Yes. Do you stay here all the time?" 

" No ; I live at home. I m only here for a couple of weeks." 

" I m a stranger in town," he said. 

"Indeed?" 

" Yes, I live in Arizona." 

" Is that far away ?" 

" Yes. It s lonesome for me out there sometimes." 

" \Vhy don t you live in a city ?" 

" Cause I ve got a ranch and a lot of cattle." 



PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

She looked at him with sudden respect, for she had heara of the 
western cattle kings. 

" I was going east to see a gal," he said after a pause. " But I 
don t think I ll go now." 

" Why not ?" 

"Cause I ve found a girl that suits me in Chicago." 

" You re lucky," said the girl, smiling at the simplicity of the 
man. " Who is she ?" 

11 You." 

" Oh, go on with your foolishness. You never saw me before." 

" No," said he ; " but I m going to stay in Chicago and see you 
again. Fact is, I want a wife. I m a plain man. If you ll marry 
me, say so." 

" This is so sudden, and I don t know you 

Never mind that. Where do you live ?" 

" Xo. -- Blank street." 

" Father and mother living?" 

" Father is dead. I live with my mother." 

" And you come here to make a little money toward paying the 
rent ?" 

" How did you know ?" 

" Never mind. I m coming up to sec you to-night. I ve got 
letters to Chicago men that will show who and what I am. If your 
mother will go along with us, I ll be glad to have her along. Any 
way, I m going to take you." 

" You re very confident, seems to me," said the young lady, who 
had suddenly come to think a yellow beard handsome. 

Never mind," said the Arizonian. "Tie up the dog and leave 
the latch string out to-night, for I m coming," and he walked away. 

To-day there is a vacancy in the " Bazaar of Nations," for one 
of the prettiest girls has gone, and in a neat little cottage in the 
north division an old lady and girl are sewing on a serviceable 
bridal outfit. 



ty&v&sp 



WEDDiNG PRESENTS AND BRIDAL OUTEIT. 




T HAS just been ascertained that during the Czar s 
recent visit to Denmark he arranged to give a grand 
wedding present to his brother-in-law, on the occasion 
of the latter s marriage to Princess Marie of Orleans. 
The Czar mysteriously purchased a villa near the city 
of Copenhagen, and there was considerable speculation as 
to his object, and he has now given orders to have the villa pulled 
down, and a palatial chateau erected on its site. The chateau is to 
be superbly furnished, and is then to be presented as a bridal gift 
to Prince Waldemar. 



And Caleb said, He that smitheth Kirjath-sephcr, and taketh 
it, to him will I give Achsah my daughter to wife. 

And Othniel, the son of Kenaz, Caleb s younger brother, took 
it : and he gave him Achsah his daughter to wife. 

And it came to pass, when she came to him, that she moved 
him to ask of her father a field : and she lighted from off her ass ; 
and Caleb said unto her, What wilt thou ? 

And she said unto him, Give me a blessing : for thou has given 
me a south land ; give me also springs of water. And Caleb gave 
her the upper springs and the nether springs. Judges. 
17* 257 



258 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

WEDDING PRESENTS AS A SOURCE OF REVENUE. 

" I am getting tired of this," said an Englewood citizen. " I 
like to be courteous to neighbors, and don t mind helping a young 
couple to a lift, but I guess I ll quit. Here is an invitation to an 
other wedding. Of course it will be very swell. Hundreds of 
people who barely know the couple will attend and carry gifts just 
because it is to be a fashionable event, and they like to have their 
names, in the papers. Twice within the last year I have gone to 
jewellery or furnishing stores kept by acquaintances of mine, and 
there found for sale articles which my wife or I had given the pro 
prietors at their weddings. Of course they were duplicates, and no 
household needs 23 pickle-dishes or 19 spoonholders, but I guess I 
won t go to any more weddings outside of my own family. I don t 
object to helping set a young couple up in their house, but I draw 
the line on setting them up in business." Chicago Herald. 



AUTUMN WEDDING STYLES. 

"The first thing which strikes the eye of the fortunate person 
who is invited to see the bridal gifts is the predominance of silver 
ware. We have now passed the age of bronze and brass, and silver 
holds the first place of importance. Not only the coffee and tea 
sets, but the dinner sets and the whole furniture of the writing- 
table, and even brooms and brushes, are made with repousse silver 
handles these, of course, for the toilette, as for dusting velvet, 
feathers, bonnets, &c. 

The oxidized, ugly, discolored silver has all gone out, and the 
beautiful, bright, highly-polished silver, with its own natural and 
unmatchable color, has come in. The salvers afford a splendid 
surface for a monogram, which is now copied from the old Dutch 
silver, and bears many a true lover s knot, and every sort and kind 
of ornamentation ; sometimes even a little verse, or posy, as it was 



ESPOUSAL. 259 

called in olden time. One tea-caddy at a recent wedding bore the 
following almost obsolete rhyme, which Corydon might have sent 
to Phyllis in pastoral times :- 

1 My heart to you is given ; 

Oh, do give yours to me ; 
We ll lock them up together, 
And throw away the key. 

It should be added that the silver tea-caddy was in the shape of 
a heart, and that it had a key. Very dear to the heart of a house 
wife is the tea-caddy which can be locked. 

Another unique present was a gold tea-scoop of ancient pattern, 
probably once a baby s pap spoon. There were also apostle-spoons, 
and little silver canoes and other devices to hold cigarettes and 
ashes ; little mysterious boxes for the toilette, to hold the tongs for 
curling hair, and hair pins ; mirror frames, and even the chair backs 
and tables all of silver. 

Friends conspire to make their offerings together, so that there 
may be no duplicates, and no pieces in the silver service which do 
not match. This is a very excellent plan. 

It is no longer the fashion to display the presents at the wed 
ding. They are arranged in an upper room, and shown to a few 
friends of the bride the day before the ceremony. Nor is it the 
fashion for the bride to wear any jewels. These are reserved for 
her first appearance as a married woman. 

The bride now prefers simplicity in her dress splendid and 
costly simplicity. An elegant white satin and a tulle veil, the lat 
ter very full, the former extremely long and with a sweeping train, 
high corsage, and long sleeves, long white gloves, and perhaps a 
flower in the hair such is the latest fashion for an autumn bride. 
The young ladies say they prefer that their magnificence should 
wait for the days after marriage, when their jewels can be worn. 



260 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

There is great sense in this, for a bride is interesting enough when 
she is simply attired. 

The fashion of bridesmaids has gone out temporarily, and one 
person, generally a sister, alone accompanies the bride to the altar 
as her female aid. The bride, attended by her father or near friend, 
comes in last, after the ushers. After her mother, sister, and family 
have preceded her, these near relatives group themselves about the 
altar steps. Her sister, or one bridesmaid, stands near her at the 
altar rail, and kneels with her and the bridegroom, as does the best 
man. The groom takes his bride from the hand of her father or 
nearest friend, who then retires and stands a little behind the bridal 
pair. He must be near enough to respond quickly when he hears 
the words, " Who givcth this woman to be married to this man ?" 
The bride and groom walk out together after the ceremony, fol 
lowed by the nearest relatives, and proceed to the home, where the 
wedding breakfast is served. Here the bridal pair stand under an 
arch of autumn leaves, golden rod, asters, and other seasonable 
flowers, and receive their friends, who are presented by the ushers. 

The father and mother do not take any stated position on this 
occasion, but mingle with the guests, and form a part of the com 
pany. In an opulent country house, if the day is fine, little tables 
are set out on the lawn, the ladies seat themselves around, and the 
gentlemen carry refreshments to them ; or the piazzas are beauti 
fully decorated with autumn boughs and ferns, flowers and ever 
greens, and the refreshments are served there. If it is a bad day, 
of course the usual arrangements of a crowded buffet are in order ; 
there is no longer a sit down breakfast ; it does not suit our Can 
adian ideas, as recent experiments have proved. The gentlemen of 
the bride s family should wear gloves of pearl-colored kid, embroi 
dered in the seams with black. 

If the marriage takes place at home, the bride and groom enter 
together, and take their place before the clergyman, who has already 



ESPOUSAL. 201 

entered ; then comes the father and mother and other friends. A 
pair of hassocks should be arranged for the bridal pair to kneel 
upon, and the father should be near to allow the clergyman to see 
him when he asks for his authority. 

For autumn weddings nothing is so pretty for the travelling 
dress as a tailor-made costume of very light cloth, with sacque to 
match for a cold day. No travelling dress should of itself be too 
heavy, as our railway carriages are kept so very hot. 

I saw a very pretty wedding-dress the other day. One gets so 
tired of the hackneyed compositions of satin, lace, and orange blos 
soms that when anything original in this line is forthcoming it is 
well to make a note of it. The front of the skirt was white satin, 
covered with very soft white lace, thickly studded with pendent 
tassels of crystal beads. The lace was arranged in very full folds, 
and these were caught together just above the pleatings that edged 
the skirt in small gathered groups a very effective way of arrang 
ing them. The front of the bodice was also covered with similar 
straight folds of the lace, tasselled with white jet. At the waist 
these were held with a small strap of white satin, tied at one side 
with a very small bow. The bodice and train were of white and 
silver brocade an exquisite material. The wreath was of orange 
blossoms, with a few small oranges among the flowers here and 
there. A garland to match was on one side of the skirt. 




MANY A SLIP TWIXT CUP AND LIP." 



URIOUS notions in a matrimonial way arc heard ever 
and anon from Boston. A young gentleman living in 
the South End was once engaged to a young lady of 
New York, and the time was fixed for the marriage. 
The young lady had procured her trousseau, and the 
invitations had been ordered, when the young man changed his 
mind, and jilted the prospective bride most heartlessly. His fickle 
fancy had been caught by another, and the piquant point of the 
tale is that last week he was overheard asking his former betrothed 
to plead his cause with his present flame. The reply of the young 
lady was unfortunately not reported." 




Alas ! for human fate ; 

Alas ! for fickle youth ; 
In high or low estate 

There s nothing true but truth. 

Let truth, then, guide your way 
Obey the written word ; 

None ever went astray 
That married in the Lord. 

Love s car, at random driven, 
Must meet mishap most dire ; 
2G2 



ESPOUSAL. 263 



Commit the reins to heaven, 
God guides the steeds of fire. 

Strong Samson growth weak, 
By Passion s steeds o erthrown ; 

Who bars and bands could break 
Lies foiled by love alone. 

Great Solomon, though wise, 
Drives, doting to his doom ; 

His heart pursues his eyes, 
And gives his God no room. 

King David s chargers fly, 

Precipitate and wild ; 
Till judgment meets his eye, 

And slays his new-born child 

If saints, themselves, thus fail, 
Then how wilt thou succeed ? 

Through faith thou shalt prevail, 
And be from bondage freed. 

Through all thy course below, 
Be Christ thy God and Guide ; 

He " teacheth how to go," 
And none can help beside. 



DIED ON HER WEDDING DAY. 

"A Washington despatch says: It has been known for some 
time past among the German residents of Washington that Dr. 
Emil Bessels, the scientist who was on the Polaris Arctic expedi 
tion, and Madame Raverra, the singer, were to have been married 
on Saturday last, but when the carriage containing a friend of the 



264 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

doctor arrived at the Smithsonian institute to take him to the wed 
ding, it was found that he was confine^ to his bed by a sudden 
attack of sickness. The ceremony was postponed until the follow 
ing Monday. When on that day the bridal couple reached the 
residence of the minister, they met with another disappointment in 
the absence cf the minister in Baltimore. On Wednesday all the 
arrangements were made for the wedding, the minister was notified 
and the friends informed. The expectant bridegroom drove to the 
house of his bride to take her to the house of the minister, but was 
shocked to learn that she had been taken suddenly and seriously 
ill. The progress of the disease was so rapid that by evening 
Madame Raverra was dead. She was to have been married at 
twelve o clock. 



And this should be the bridal clay ; 

\Vhcn hope, joy, love and health 
Slvuild crown life s fair} month of May 

With all their dazzlin wealth. 






This morning should the bridegroom come 

To claim, with rapture wild, 
The "only daughter" of the home, 

The one, rare, matchless child. 

The hour that lovely form should stand, 

To breathe the sacred vow ; 
The golden ring upon her hand, 

The pearl-wreath on her brow 

lint no ! ah, no ! earth s darkest cloud 

Has cast its ray less gloom ; 
Her wedding robe will be the shroud ; 

Her marriage couch the tomb. 



ESPOUSAL. 265 

Go ! hide away the snowy veil 

That should have hid love s flush ; 
Her cheek will keep unchanged and pale ; 

Death s kiss will bring no blush. 



"God s will be done !" he faintly cries ; 

"My doting heart may break ; 
I deemed her mine, but she was thine, 
And he who gives can take. Eliza CccJ:. 



TEDIOUS WOOING IS LOVE S UNDOING. 

Miss Cecilia McMahon, of Dublin, has proved this fact to hoi- 
cost, and also to the cost of her unfaithful lover, Mr. Coleman, whom 
she has sued for breach of promise. " In 1863 the plaintiff was a 
young girl of 17 years, and the defendant was 32 or 33 years of 
age, and he asked her then to marry him, and was accepted. From 
that time over twenty years ago, up to a few months since, he had 
treated her as his affianced wife, introduced her to his friends, had 
given her engagement rings, and had written her letters breathing 
affection and love. Defendant got plaintiff to postpone the wed 
ding till his mother s death, on the ground that if he married while 
she was alive his mother would not leave him her property. This 
poor boy of 54 or 55 years of age did not like to marry until the 
old lady died. The difficulty was now removed, because six months 
ago the old lady had been gathered to her fathers. A coolness 
arose between the plaintiff and defendant some time ago, and in 
April last the plaintiff wrote to the defendant asking him what 
were his intentions with regard to the engagement. To that letter 
no reply was received, and proceedings were taken. The jury 
found for plaintiff 100 damages." 




MARRIAGE CEREMONIES. 



RUTH iii. 9 - " I am Ruth, thine handmaid : spread therefora thy skirt 
over thine handmaid." 

HE prophet Ezckic 1 , in describing the Jewish Church as 
an exposed infant, mentions the care of G od in bring 
ing her up with great tenderness, and then at the proper 
time marrying her, which is expressed in the same way 
as the request of Ruth : "I spread my skirt over thee ; 
and thou becamest mine." 

Dr. A. Clarke says : " Even to the present day, when a Jew 
marries a woman, he throws the skirt or end of his tailetk over her, 
to signify that he has taken her under his protection." 

1 have been delighted at the marriage ceremonies of the Hin 
doos, to see amongst them the same interesting cu3tom. The bride 
is seated on a throne, surrounded by matrons, wearing her veil, her 
gayest robes, and most valuable jewels. After the thali has been 
tied round her neck, the bridegroom approaches her with a silken 
skirt (purchased by himself), and folds it round her several times 
over the rest of her clothes.* A common way of saying, "He has 
married her," is. " He has given her the koori" has spread the 

This part of the ceremony often produces powerful emotions on all 
present. The parents on both sides then give their benediction. 

266 



ESPOUSAL. 267 

skirt over her. There are, however, those who throw a long robe 
over the shoulders of the bride instead of putting on the skirt. 

An angry husband sometimes says to his wife, "Give me back 
my skirt," meaning that he wishes to have the marriage compact 
dissolved. So the mother-in-law, should the new daughter not 
treat her respectfully, says, " My son gave this woman the koori 
(skirt), and has made her respectable, but she neglects me." 

The request of Ruth, therefore, amounted to nothing more than 
that Boaz should marry her. Roberts. 



In the celebration of marriages in the East at the present day, 
many of the peculiar customs of ancient times are observad. At a 
Hindoo marriage, says a modern missionary, the procession of 
which I saw some years ago, the bridegroom came from a distance, 
and the bride lived at Serampore, to which place the bridegroom 
was to come by water. After waiting two or three hours, at length, 
near midnight, it was anoounced, in the very words of Scripture, 
"Behold the bridegroom cometh ; go ye out to meet him." All the 
persons employed now lighted their lamps, and ran with them in 
their hands to fill up their stations in the procession ; some of them 
had lost their lights, and were unprepared, but it was then too late 
to seek them, and the cavalcade moved forward to the house of the 
bride ; at which place the company entered a large and splendidly 
illuminated area, before the house, covered with an awning, where 
a great multitude of friends, dressed in their best apparel, were 
seated upon mats. The bridegroom was carried in the arms of a 
friend and placed in a superb seat in the midst of the company, 
where he sat a short time, and then went into the house, the door 
of which was immediately shut, and guarded by Sepoys. I and 
others expostulated with the door keepers, but in vain. Never was 
I so struck with our Lord s beautiful parable as at this moment 
"and the door was shut !" 



268 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

The journal of one of the American missionaries in Greece con 
tains the account of an Armenian wedding which she attended ; 
and after describing the dresses and previous ceremonies, she says, 
that at twelve o clock at night, precisely, the cry was made by some 
of the attendants, Behold the bridegroom comcth : and immedi 
ately, five or six men set off to meet him. 

The custom of crying and shouting at the approach of the bride 
groom seems to have been continued from the days of our Saviour. 

For a very interesting and minute account of the laws and cus 
toms of ancient nations, respecting marriage, polygamy, divorce, 
&c.. the ceremonies attending an eastern wedding, and the figura 
tive allusions of the sacred writers to these topics, the student is 

referred to Biblical Antiquities, ch. vi. par. I ; Omar, pp. 145 152; 

and Evening Recreations, vol. ii. pp. 89-99, by Am. S. S. Union. 

It was the custom to crown the married couple. Hence the 
allusion, Sol. Soilg iii. n, Isaiah xlix. 18, where the word ornament 
might well be rendered cro\vn, Union Bible Dictionary. 

I he Rhodians had a peculiar custom of sending for the bride 
by a public crier. When the bridegroom entered the house with 
his bride, it was customary to pour figs upon thoir heads. The day 
of the bride s departure from her father was celebrated in manner 
of a festival. It seems to have been observed at her father s house 
before she departed, being distinct from the nuptial solemnity, 
which was kept at the bridegroom s house, and began at evening 
the usual time of the bride s arrival there. The bridebejng come 
to the bridegroom s house, was entertained with a sumptuous ban 
quet, called by the same name with the marriage. 

Among the ancients, when persons were newly married, they 
put a yoke upon their necks, or chains upon their arms, to show 
that they were to be one, closely united, and pulling equally to 
gether in all the concerns of life. 







FIRE, OIL AND WATER 

OR FLAMBEAUX, UNGUENTS AND BAPTISM USED AT ANCIENT 

WEDDINGS. 



HERE was a custom," says a learned Jew, "of bringing 
the bride from her father s house to her husband s in 
the night before she entered the nuptial chamber, and 
to carry before her about ten staves, and on the top of 
each staff was the form of a brazen dish, and in the midst 
of it pieces of garments, oil and pitch, which they set fire to 
and lighted before her." 

In many parts of the East, particularly in the Indies, it is the 
custom, instead of torches and flambeaux, to carry a pot of oil in 
one hand, and a lamp, which is thus supplied with oil in the other. 
Mention is made in "The customs of the East Indians and of the 
Jews compared," of flambeaux used at bridal ceremonies made of 
pieces of linen squeezed hard together in a round form. Those 
who held them in one hand have in the other a bottle of oil, and 
pour out of it from time to time on the linen, which otherwise 
gives no light. 

Then all those virgins arose and trimmed their lamps. Matthew. 

"The servants then did flaming torches bear, 
Which darted forth a quivering light from far." 
269 



2/O PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

" They were sometimes attended with singers and dancers, as 
Homer acquaints us in his description of Achilles shield : 

With nice and curious touches next appear 

Two stately cities in one nuptial are ; 

Here polished art with nature doth agree 

In framing figures of festivity, 

Feasts, revels, balls, the sculpture represents, 

With various sorts of music instruments. 

Lamps shine with brightness on the solemn state, 

While the brisk bridegroom leads his charming mate ; 

Measures young men observe with active feet 

While the pomp advances long the dusty street ; 

The music plays, Hymen, Hymen, they cry, 

While aged matrons stand admiring by. 



There arc of opinion, who think that the use of these torches was 
not only to give light, but to represent the clement of fire: for no 
marriages were thought happy which were not contracted by the 
light of fire, for which reason the custom likewise was to be 
sprinkle the new married woman with \va :er ; yea, they did both in 
the time of their contract touch water and fire provided for that 
purpose. The signification of this ceremony some think to be 
thus : The fire because it is an active element, to represent the 
man ; the water, because it is passive, to represent the woman. 

Others say, that in the community of these two elements was 
intimated the community between man and wife of all their goods 
and possessions, which was more fully declared in that fore-quoted 
proverb used by the wife. 

What meant the ancient heathen to bear before the bride fire 
and water but to signify purity? Water, the washer of all unclean 



ESPOUSAL. 2/1 

things, and fire, the trier of all impure things, but to teach them 
that though their love must be single, it must be hearty, it must be 
endless, and it must be pure. Chailes White, of Canterbury, i6jj. 
" The matter, whereof these torches were made, was a certain 
tree from which a pitchy liquor did issue ; it was called Teda, and 
hence have the poets figuratively called both the torches and the 
wedding itself Tedas." 

And, on coming down to our own age for a moment, we hear 
the pleasant voiced Bryant, in versifying the astrological figment 
of the conjunction of Jupiter and Venus as being a sign favorable 

to marriage, sing : 

" Light the nuptial torch, 

And say the glad, yet solemn rite, that knits 
The youth and maiden. Happy days to them 
That wed this evening ! a long life of love, 
And blooming sons and daughters ! Happy they 
Born at this hour for they shall see an age 
Whiter and holier than the past, and go 
Late to their graves. Men shall wear softer hearts, 
And shudder at the butcheries of war, 
As now at other murders." 



ANOINTING THE DOOR-POSTS. 

"When the woman had thus been brought to the door, then did 
she annoint the posts of the door with oil, from which ceremony 
the wife was called * The Annointed. " 

LIFTING THE BRIDE OVER THE THRESHOLD. 

" This ceremony of annointing being ended, the bridemen did 
lift her over the threshold, and so carried her in by a seeming force, 
because in modesty she would not seem to go without violence." 



2/2 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

ANOINTING THE HEAD WITH OIL. 

On all joyful occasions the people of the East anoint the head 
with oil. At their marriages, and other festive seasons, the young 
and the old may be seen with their long, black tresses neatly tied 
on the crown of the head, shining and smooth, like polished ebony. 
The Psalmist, therefore, rejoicing in God, as his protector, exclaims, 
Thou anointcst my head with oil." 

It is an act of great respect to pour perfumed oil on the head 
of a distinguished guest ; the woman in the Gospel thus mani 
fested her respect for the Saviour by pouring " precious ointment." 
on His head. Roberts. 



\YINE AND OIL. 

Wine that maketh glad the heart of man, and oil that makcth 
his face to shine. David. 

A prospective bridegroom quoted the above passage in favor of 
having wine at his wedding. The witty bride told him if he had 
wine she would have the oil, which led the young man to no longer 
insist on having a vinous celebration of the nuptials. 




HYMNS AND HYMENS. 



WHO WAS HYMENEUS ? 




HIS Hymcneus, we are told, was an Argian, whom they 
received into the number of their gods because he had 
saved some Athenian virgins from the lascivious cruelty 
of the Pelagians. The word " Hymen " was sometimes 
used for the marriage song, as " Many hymens sung," 
" Your hymens, hubbubs, flambeaux and scrapers/ 
Drop the vowel from the word Hymen, and you have Hymn, a 
joyful ode to the Deity : 

"O joyful sound of gospel grace ! 

Christ shall in me appear ; 
I, even I, shall see his face, 
I shall be holy here." 



HYMENEAL FESTIVITIES. 

A joyful marriage song was sung as the bridal train moved 
along a hymn in short, for even the old Greeks point out the ety 
mological relation between Hymeneus and the hymn. Pipes and 
harps resounded ; but as song was never without the accompani 
ment of the measured step beating the cadence, the dance and 
dancers were a necessary appendage to the festival. The pipes, 

however, were clearly of Phrygian origin, and were connected with 
18* *73 



274 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Oriental manners. The observations of the scholiast expressly 
tells us that the pipe was unknown to the earlier Greeks. How 
essential song and dance were to the nuptial feasts is clear from the 
command of Ulysses, that in order to deceive the Ithacans, there 
should be song and dance in the palace after the massacre of the 
suitors, as if a nuptial feast were celebrated. 

Before the marriage ceremony the bride was conducted to the 
bath, after which she was dressed in a garment presented by the 
bridegroom. Thus, in the passage above quoted, Ulysses bade all 
the maidens bathe and adorn themselves. Minerva s injunction to 
Nausicaa shows that the dresses of the bridesmen were presents 
from the bride. When, at length, the guardian of the nuptial 
chamber had conducted the espoused pair, with a train of torches, 
to the couch spread with carpets and rich coverings, she retired, 
and the bridegroom loosed the girdle of the bride, as Neptune did 
that of Tyro. The custom of greeting them with the epithalmian 
song and with shouts was of later origin. 

Second marriage was deemed contrary to the laws of modesty. 

* * * * 

Both bride and bridegroom (the former veiled) were, of course, 
decked out in their best attire, with chaplets on their heads, and 
the doors of the houses were hung with festoons of ivy and bay- 
As the bridal procession moved along, the Hymenean song was 
sung to the accompaniment of Lydian flutes, even in olden times, 
as beautifully described by Homer, and the married pair received 
greetings and congratulations of those who met them. After enter 
ing the bridegroom s house, into which the bride was probably 
conducted by his mother bearing a lighted torch, it was customary 
to shower sweatmeats upon them as emblems of plenty and 
prosperity. 

After this came the nuptial feast, which was generally given in 
the house of the bridegroom or his parents ; and, besides being a 



ESPOUSAL. 275 

festive meeting, served other, and more important purposes. There 
was no public rite, whether civil or religious, connected with the 
celebration of marriage among the ancient Greeks, and therefore 
no public record of its solemnization. This deficiency, then, was 
supplied by the marriage feast ; for the guests were, of course, 
competent to prove the fact of a marriage having taken place ; and 
Demosthenes, indeed, says they were invited partly with such views. 
To this feast, contrary to the usual practice among the Greeks, 
women were invited as well as men, but they seem to have sat at a 
separate table, with the bride still veiled among them. At the 
conclusion of this feast she was conducted by her husband into the 
bridal chamber ; and a law of Solon s required that, on entering it, 
they should eat a quince together, as if to indicate that their con 
versation ought to be sweet and agreeable. The sonq; called Rph- 
thalamium was then sung before the doors of the bridal chamber. 
A nt J 10 11 s Greece. 




PRESENTING THE HAIR AT MARRIAGE. 



the day before marriage the Grecian maidens shaved ofT 
K 
I* their hair, and presented it to the different divinities 

worshipped by them. 



"When maiden blushes could make no pretence, 
^ v^J And vigorous age had sullied innocence, 
As anciently the Argives hither came 
To vent their passion and their love proclaim, 
They paid Diana then their virgin hair. 



Pollux mentions some who offered their hair to Diana and the 
fatal sisters. At Trcezen the Virgins were obliged to consecrate 
their hair to Hippolytus, the son of Theseus, who died for his chas 
tity, before they entered into the marriage bonds. The Megaren- 
sian virgins offered their hair with libations at the momiment of 
Iphinoe, daughter ot Alcathous, who died a virgin. 

* * * * * 

Then did Achilles, that brave prince, prepare 
For other rites, and shave his golden hair. 

***** 

The custom of nourishing the hair on religious accounts seems 
to have prevailed in most nations. The Jews had their Nazarites. 
Osiris, the Egyptian, consecrated his hair to the gods ; and Arian 

276 



ESPOUSAL. 2/7 

tells us that in India it was the custom to preserve the hair for 
some god, which they first learnt from Bacchus. Potters An 
tiquities of Greece. 

When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the 
Lord thy God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast 
taken them captive, 

And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a 
desire unto her, that thou wouldst have her to thy wife ; 

Then thou shall bring her home to thine house ; and she shall 
shave her head and pare her nails ; 

And she shall put the raiment of her captivity from off her, and 
shall remain in thine house, and bewail her father and her mother 
a full month : and after that thou shalt be her husband, and she 
shall be thy wife. 

And it shall be, if thou have no delight in her, then thou shalt 
let her go whither she will ; but thou shalt not sell her at all for 
money, thou shalt not make merchandise of her.- 



MARRIAGEABLE LADIES DISTINGUISHED BY THEIR HEAD-DRESS. 

"The following details with regard to the hair-dressing of the 
Japanese ladies may be of interest in these days, when ladies are 
ignorantly adopting the styles, and may help to elucidate much of 
the mystery which always surrounds the meaning of a Japanese 
picture. In Japan, a girl at the age of nine begins to wear her 
tresses tied up with a narrow crimson scarf bound round the back 
of her head. The forehead is left bare with the exception of a 
couple of locks, one on each side. When she is of marriageable 
age she combs her hair forward, and arranges it in the shape of a 
fan or butterfly, decorating it with silver cord and ball-topped pins 
*See Mark x. 2-12. 



278 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

of various colors. An inconsolable widow cuts her hair short, and 
goes in for no adorning whatever : a consolable widow wears tor 
toise-shell pins set horizontally at the back of her head, and twists 
her hair in loose coils about them. By all these simple means 
much confusion is avoided. This last mode is one most adopted 
by American ladies ; therefore, while its significance would be Greek 
to an American gentleman, it would have the above significance to 
a Jap visitor." 

In monuments of antiquity, the heads of the married and of the 
single women may be known, the former by their hair being parted 
from the forehead over the middle of the top of the head, the latter 
by being quite close, or by being plaited and curled all in a gen 
eral mass. 



HAIR PEARL -EMUROIDERKD FORBIDDEN TO CHRISTIANS. 

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest 
apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety ; not with braided hair 
or gold, or pearls, or costly array ; 

But (which becorncth women professing godliness) with good 

works. 

***** 

Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting 
the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel : 

But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not 
corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is 
in the sight of God of great price. 

For of this manner in the old time the holy women also, who 
trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their 
own husbands. New Testament. 

Plaiting the hair was commonly used in those times by lewd 
women. 



ESPOUSAL. 279 

Among the Jews there were women who made it a gainful 
profession to plait women s hair. The art must have required some 
practice and skill, since it seems that the taste of the Jewish women 
inclined them to have their hair set up by the aid of crisping pins 
in the forms of horns and towers. 

It was also practiced anciently in every part of the East, and is 
to the present day in India, also in Barbary. It was prevalent 
among the Greeks and Romans, as ancient gems, busts and statutes 
afford sufficient evidence. 



LONG HAIR NOT SEEMLY FOR MEN, NOR SHORT HAIR COMELY 

FOR WOMEN. 

Doth not nature itself teach you that, if a man have long hair, 
it is a shame unto him. 

But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her, for her hair 
is given to her for a covering. 

But if any man seem to be contentious, we have no such custom, 
neither the churches of God. Neiv Testament. 

So sweetly do Scripture and nature agree, and so deth 
divine truth harmonize with whatsoever things are honest, whatso 
ever things are lovely, and whatsoever things are of good report, 
that we find all fashions that arise to contravene the combined tenor 
of the eternal twain gradually sink into disesteem and fall into 
merited reproach and contempt, and so it is proved by observation 
and experience and history combined, that the Bible sets the best 
fashions ; the Puritan Roundheads (so called in ridicule) have a 
world of followers to-day, while the Royalists, who so named them, 
are altogether out of style. 

Thine hair upon thee is like Carmcl. 

His head is bushy and black as a raven. Canticles. 



280 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

But in all Israel there was none to be so much praised as Ab 
salom for his beauty : from the sole of his foot even to the crown 
of his head there was no blemish in him. 

And when he polled his head (for it was at every year s end 
that he polled it : because the hair was heavy on him, therefore he 
polled it) he weighed the hair of his head at two hundred shekels 
after the king s weight. Samuel. 



And she made him sleep upon her knees ; and she called for a 
man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head ; 
and she began to afflict him, and his strength went from him. 

And she said, The Philistines be upon thee, Samson. And he 
awoke out of his sleep, and said, I will go out as at other times be 
fore, and shake myself. And he wist not that the Lord was depart 
ed from him. Bible. 

He sleeps on her knees, and his locks are close shorn, 

Uncut from his Xazarite birth ; 
Lo ! his vigor is gone, and he wakes to rude scorn : 

Heaven s Anteus tumbles to earth. 

So the sinner thus sleeps on the lap of fair Sloth, 
While the shears of fair Vice are being plied ; 

See! his locks are fast falling the Phillistines rush forth, 
And his glory lies humbled, and pride. 



It is an instructive thought, that among the Gentile nations the 
marriageable parties never forgot their Gods. These were the first 
to be remembered. For, as saith the prophet, surely every man 
will walk in the name of his god. Though their spot was not the 
spot of God s children, yet the mark of the idol was ever there. 



ESPOUSAL. 28t 

Fathers, mothers, youths and maidens were all invited at the 
marriage season to propitiate with offerings their respective divin 
ities, and nothing was ever done without consulting their celestial 
guardians. 

With regard to the sacrifices then offered, they arc spoken of 
by the poet as a dialogue between Clymenestra and Agamemnon : 



, have you killed the victim for the goddess, 
My daughters wedding to initiate? 
ga. Y\\ see that done, for that is my design. 
Cly. And then the wedding dinner ? 4Y7. That we ll have, 
When to the gods the victims offered arc. 



When the victim was opened, the gall was taken out and thrown 
behind the altar, as being the seat of anger and malice, and there 
fore the aversion of all the deities who had the care of love, as well 
as those who became their votaries. The entrails were carefully 
inspected by the soothsayers, and if any unlucky omen presented 
itself, the former contract was dissolved as displeasing to the Gods j 
and the nuptials prevented. The same happened on the appear 
ance of any ill-boding omen without the victim ; thus we find in 
Achilles Tatius, that C .itophon s designed marriage with Calligone 
was hindered by an eagle, that snatched a piece of the sacrifice 
from the altar. 

The Athenian virgins were presented to Diana before it was 
lawful for them to marry, and it was not permitted them to enter 
into the married state till they had paid their devotions to this 
goddess in her own temple at the citadel. Venus, too, the goddess 
of love and hearts, and all the rest of the divinities superintending 
marriages, were invoked. Potters Antiquities of Greece. 



TUE ORIGIN, USE AND DESIGN OF THE RING. 

w / ,- : % 1 1 !". ring, as given in marriage, is ;i pledge, and the word 
" wed " in Anglo-Saxon means the same thing, The 
wedding ring, therefore, is a sacred and symbolic token 
given by the man to avouch that he will perform his 
part of the contract, thus : "With this ring I thee wed. 
A symbol of eternity in its roundness, and of truth in its 
preciousness, and of chastity in its plain and unengraved design, it 
remains forever the universal emblem of fidelity and mutual love. 




RING MONEY. 

" In ancient Egypt, and probably also in ancient Etruria, the 
oldest form of money was a ring, and when an Egyptian took home 
his bride, in pledge of investing her with his personal wealth, he- 
placed a ring, or piece of money on her finger; from Etruria the 
same usage originated the invention, even after coined money was 
invented, of the annuli sponsalii, and from them and their Roman 
successors the wedd-ng ring has been handed down as a necessary 
part of the conjugal ritualia to the present day. It seems probable 
that the Alexandrian Christians first engrafted into Christianity at 
an exceedingly early period the significant symbol, and spiritualiz 
ing the ornament, introduced it into the church as a pledge of the 
mystic union of the husband and wife, and of the bishop and his 



ESPOUSAL. 283 

church, which in the Roman and Ultra-Anglican communions it 
still retains. Long may the plain gold ring remain a sacred emblem, 
and be associated with all the truest poetry of life, and may none 
of those who read this article regard it in any other light, or regret 
to bestow or receive it." 



WHY THE RING IS PLACED ON THE FOURTH FINGER OF THE 

LEFT HAND. 

"Originally the fourth finger of the left hand was chosen to be 
thus ornamented, as it was supposed to compress a small nerve 
which went from the digit direct to the heart. Afterwards the 
second finger of the right hand, and then again the last of both, 
were adorned with rings. Increasing in degeneracy and foppery, at 
the time of Martial, every joint of each finger had its separate an- 
nulus. These amounting to a cumbrous load in the warm weather, 
necessitated the introduction of summer, as distinguished from 
winter, rings (a custom adopted also by the Romans). This con 
venient resource enabled the wealthier Grecians to display still 
more and a greater variety of jewellery, and the climax of absurdity 
and extravagance was attained in the fashion, which survived the 
fall of the people who originated it, of wearing weekly rings." 



THE RING NOT TO BE FORCED. 

I think death were a better thing 
Than loathed love and marriage ring 

Forced on my soul together. 

E. D. Browning. 

" The gentlest effort may put a wedding ring on the finger, but 
a thousand horse-power cannot draw it off." 



28 4 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

A MATHEMATICAL COLLOQUY. 
Laura. On me he shall ne er put a ring, 

So, mamma, tis in vain to make trouble ; 
For I was but eighteen last spring, 
While his age exactly is double. 
Mamma. He is but in his thirty-sixth year, 

Tall, handsome, good-natured and witty ; 
And should you refuse him, my dear, 

You may die an old maid without pity. 
Laura. His figure I grant you may pass, 

And at present he s young enough plenty ; 
But when I am sixty, alas ! 

Won t he be a hundred and twenty ? 

Moore s Rural New Yorker. 

HOW THE WHOLE HAND WENT THROUGH A FINGER-RING. 

A little, skipping minim of mortal existence was shown among 
the wonders of the Centennial at Philadelphia, who was so diminu 
tive in size that when twelve years of age she stood but twenty-one 
inches in height Her legs were four inches in circumference, and 
her feet three inches long. There was nothing long about her but 
her tongue, and that certainly was not short. She was of Spanish 
extraction, Spanish complexion, and Spanish volubility of speech ; 
and she looked irresistibly funny as she crouched clown, all out of 
sight but her head, into the dimensions of a spectator s silk hat, and 
peered at you over the encompassing brim. We saw her squeeze 
her lilliputian hand through a rather large finger ring, and she also 
sat on a boy s hand, and felt, apparently, comfortable. 



CHARLEMAGNE AND THE RING. 

W r e are told that the Emperor Charlemagne was bewitched by 
a ring, and that he followed the one who possessed this ring as a 



ESPOUSAL. 285 

needle does a iodestone. It is said that he fell in love with a peasant 
girl (Agatha), in whose society he seemed bewitched, insomuch that 
all matters of state were neglected by him ; but the girl died, to the 
great joy of all. What, however, was the astonishment of the court 
to find that the king seemed no less bewitched with the dead body 
than the living, and spent day and night with it, even when the smell 
was quite offensive. Archbishop Turpin felt convinced that there 
was sorcery in this strange infatuation, and on examining the body 
found a ring under the tongue, which he removed. Charlemagne 
now lost all regard for the dead body, but followed Turpin, with 
whom he seemed infatuated. The Archbishop now bethought him 
of the ring, which he threw into a pool at Aix, where Charlemagne 
built a palace and monastery, and no spot in the world had such 
attractions for him at Aix-la-Chappelle. where the ring was buried. 
Researches de la France. 



ALEXANDER S RING. 

Finding that there was no hope of recovery left, he delivered 
his ring to Perdiccas, and permitted all his soldiers to kiss his hand. 
On being asked to whom he left his empire, he answered, To the 
most worthy ; adding at the same time that he foresaw with what 
strange rites they would celebrate his burial." 



SARAH, DUCHESS OF MARLBOROUGH S RING. 

" Lord Chesterfield, however, triumphantly pointing to the fruits 
of his taste and distribution of his wealth, witnessed, in his library 
at Chesterfield House, the events which time produced. He heard 
of the death of Sarah, Duchess of Marlborough, and of her bequest 
to him of twenty thousand pounds, and her best and largest bril 
liant diamond ring, out of the great regard she had for his merit, 
and the infinite obligations she had received from him. " 



PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 
QUEEN CAROLINE S (WIFE OF GEORGE II.) RING. 

When alone with her family, she took from her finger a ruby 
ring, which had been placed upon it at the time of the coronation, 
and gave it to the king. " This is the last thing," she said, " I have 
to give you ; naked I came to you, and naked I go from you ; I 
had everything I ever possessed from you, and to you whatever I 
have I return." She then asked for her keys, and gave them to the 
king. To the Princess Caroline she intrusted the care of her 
younger sisters ; to the Duke of Cumberland, that of keeping up 
the credit of the family. " Attempt nothing against your brother, 
and endeavor to mortify him by showing superior merit," she said 
to him. She advised the king to marry again ; he heard her in 
sobs, and with much difficulty got out this sentence : " NonJ aurai 
To which the queen made no other reply than ; 
Ah, man Dieu ! cela n empeche pas" " I know," says Lord Hervey, 
in his Memoirs, "that this episode will hardly be credited, but it is 
literally true." Grace and Philip Wharton. 



RINGS AND THEIR SIGNIFICATION. 

" It is understood, says an American authority, that a gentleman 
who desires to marry wears a plain or chased gold ring upon the 
first finger of the left hand. When he becomes engaged, the ring 
passes to the second finger. After marriage it passes to the third 
finger. If, however, the gentleman desires his lady friends to clear 
ly understand that he is not in the market/ and does not wish to 
marry at all, he wears the signet upon his little finger. This will 
inform all the ladies that he is beyond their reach. With the ladies, 
a plain or chased gold ring on the little finger of the left hand in 
dicates not engaged, or ready for an offer. When engaged, the 
ring passes to the third finger on the right hand. When married 



ESPOUSAL. 287 

the third finger on the left hand receives the ring 1 . When a young 
lady wishes to defy all suitors, she places rings one on the first 
and one on the fourth finger." 

SPURIOUS ENGAGEMENT RINGS. 

" That ring," said the jeweller, as the reporter picked up a seven 
stone, cluster diamond, "will cost you $12. If you return it within 
six months you will receive a rebate of $5." "What ! Only $12 
for a cluster diamond ring !" exclaimed the astonished scribe. " I 
said $12," was the calm reply. " Here (lifting out another tray) is 
the mate to it price $180." " Enlighten me," pleaded the report 
er. " I will, although it is odd that you haven t caught on to this 
little game. The American is a hustler in all things. If he falls in 
love, he goes with the same rush that characterizes a business tran 
saction. He wants to be engaged and have the day set, but in 
perhaps three cases out of ten his ardour cools before the fatal day 
arrives, and he throws the match." " I see." " He has given the 
girl an engagement ring. He can scarcely muster up courage to 
ask for its return, and the chances are he wouldn t get it if he did, 
This cluster diamond ring at $12 fills a want long felt. The gold- 
plating will wear for six months, and the paste diamond will sparkle 
and glisten for about the same length of time. If at the end of 
six months he discovers that his feelings have changed he breaks 
off the match, and is little or nothing out of pocket. If time has 
only welded his love the firmer, so to speak, he gets the spurious 
ring from her to have their initials engraved on the inside, and 
comes here and changes it for the simon-pure. See." 



NEWTON S DREAM RING. 

Says Newton, in the narrative of his life : "I thought it was 
night, and my watch upon deck ; and that I was walking to and 



288 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

fro by myself, a person came to me and brought me a ring, with an 
express charge to keep it carefully ; assuring me that while I pre 
served that ring I should be happy and successfull ; but if I lost or 
parted with it, I must expect nothing but trouble and misery. I 
accepted the present and the terms willingly, not in the least doubt 
ing my own care to preserve it, and highly satisfied to have my 
happiness in my own keeping. I was engaged in these thoughts 
when a second person came to me, and observing the ring on my 
finger, took occasion to ask some questions concerning it. I readily 
told him its virtues, and his answer expressed a surprise at my 
weakness in expecting such effects from a ring. I think he reas 
oned with me some time upon the impossibility of the thing ; and 
at length urged me in direct terms to throw it away. At first I 
was shocked at the proposal, but his insinuations prevailed. I be 
gan to reason and doubt, and at last plucked it off my finger and 
dropped it over the ship s side into the water, which it no sooner 
touched than I saw in the same instant a terrible fire burst out 
from a range of mountains. I perceived too late my folly ; and my 
tormenter with an air of insult informed me that all the mercy God 
had in reserve for me was comprised in that ring which I had wil 
fully thrown away. I understood that I must now go with him to 
the burning mountains, and that all the flames I saw were kindled 
on my account. I trembled, and was in great agony ; so that it 
was surprising I did not then awake ; but my dream continued ; 
and when I thought myself on the point of a constrained departure, 
and stood self-condemned without plea or hope, suddenly a person 
came to me and demanded the cause of my grief. I told him the 
plain case, confessing that I had ruined myself wilfully, and de 
served no pity. He blamed my rashness, and asked if I should be 
wiser supposing I had my ring again. I had not time to answer 
before I saw this unexpected friend go down under the water just 
in the spot where I had dropped it ; and he soon returned, bringing 
the ring with him. The moment he came on board, the flames in 



ESPOUSAL. 289 

the mountains were extinguished, and my seducer left me. Then 
was the prey taken from the hand of the mighty, and the lawful 
captive delivered 

TEST RINGS. 

With the Romans first arose the use of test rings, or those the 
germ of which, either like the toadstone (Craitpadine), was supposed 
to detect poison, or, like the amethyst, to prevent intoxication. The 
jewel was occasionally the cover of a small recess, destined either 
to contain poison, or a sovereign remedy against the plague. These 
last uses of the ring have continued almost to the present day, 
while in Italy the amethyst ring is yet worn by monks to secure 
their safety from post-prandial excesses. 



THE DEATH RING. 

A man who wished to buy a handsome ring went into a jewel 
ler s shop at Paris, and desired to see some. The jeweller showed 
him a very ancient gold ring, remarkably fine, and curious on this 
account, that on the inside of it were two little lion s claws. The 
buyer, while looking at others, was playing with this ; at last he 
purchased another, and went away. But he had scarcely reached 
home when first his hand, then his side, then his whole body, be 
came numb and without feeling, as if he had had a stroke of the 
palsy ; and it grew worse and worse, till the physician, who came 
in haste, thought him dying. " You must somehow have taken 
poison," he said. The sick man protested that he had not. At last 
some one remembered this ring ; and it was then discovered to be 
what used to be called the death ring, and which was often em 
ployed in those wicked Italian States three or four hundred years 

ago. If a man hated another, and desired to murder him, he would 
19* 



PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

present him with one of them. In the inside was a drop of deadly 
poison, and a very small hole out of which it would not make its 
way except it was squeezed. When the poor man was wearing it, 
the murderer would come and shake his hand violently, the lion s 
claw would give his hand a little scratch, and in a few hours he was 
a dead man. Now see why I told you this story. For four hund 
red years this ring had kept its poison, and at the end of that time 
it was strong enough to almost kill the man who had unintention 
ally scratched his finger with the claw ; for he was only saved by 
great skill on the part of the physician, and by the strongest medi 
cines. I thought when I read this story how like this poison was 
to sin. You may commit a sin now, and for the present forget it ; 
and perhaps ten or twelve years hence the wound you then, so to 
speak, gave yourself may break out again, and that more danger 
ously than ever. And the greatest danger of all is, lest the thoughts 
of sins we have committed, and the pleasure we had in committing 

o 

them, should come back upon us in the hour of death. Dr. J. J/. 
Xea/e. 



" I low Princes make love is told in the Reminiscences of the 
Marquis Custine, which have just appeared in Paris. When the 
Czar Xikolaus was eighteen years old he sp?nt two days in Ber 
lin, where he saw the Princess Charlotte, two years younger, and of 
a delicate beaut}- which at once attracted him. She, however, 
showed no signs of reciprocating his affection. On the evening 
before his departure he sat next to the Princess at dinner. " I shall 
leave to-morrow, he suddenly remarked. She did not show any 
surprise, but quickly answered, We shall all be sorry that you 
leave us so soon. Cannot your departure be delayed ? That de 
pends on you. How so? asked the Princess. The Prince now 
declared his love, somewhat to her embarrassment, as she thought 



ESPOUSAL. 29 1 

they we u Id be overheard. As a pledge of her love he asked for 
the ring she wore, suggesting that no one would notice it if she took 
it off, and pressing it into a piece of bread pushed it towards his 
plate. The ring, however, was not hers, but belonged to her gov 
erness, who had received it of the Empress of Russia. And in 
taking it off to give to the Prince, she read tor the first time on the 
inside the inscription, Empress of Russia. " 



WEEKLY KINGS. 

" All that has been related of Athenian extravagance, and of 
the forms of Athenian jewelry, applies as correctly to that of the 
Roman people under the Emperors ; one of the latest of whom, 
Heliogabalus, resolving to outdo the weekly rings of the satirist, 
never wore the same dress or jewel twice. Inscriptions upon the 
ring itself, as well as upon the inlaid stone, now frequently occur, 
and the rings fashionable under the decline and fall of the Roman 
Empire increased in elaboration, size and number, till, as frequently 
happens in the records of folly, one excess counterbalanced the 
other, and it only became a question of caprice whether the Latin 
exquisite would burden himself with one gold ring of twenty ounces 
weight (Troy), or twenty or thirty annuli of equal costliness, but of 
smaller bulk." 



EVENING RINGS. 

" Strict taste in Paris just now is said to call upon a gentleman 
in evening dress to wear two rings on the little finger of the right 
hand. There must not be less than two rings or more, and no 
other finger than the one named may afford the ornaments a rest 
ing place." 



292 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

RING THRIFT. 

"The Whitehall Times tells of a man in that village who had 
the gold from his dead wife s teeth made into an engagement ring 
which he gave to a woman whom he was about to marry. 

" Miss Emma Nevada received a bracelet instead of a ring as an 
engagement pledge from her fiance, Dr. Palmer, who wears the key 
on a little gold pin. 



" LET LOVE ABIDE." 

In the gardens at Bramshill an ancient wedding ring was dug 
up. The posy on it, " Let love abide :" 

Do shadows of the days of old still linger in the garden ways ? 
Long hidden, deep beneath the mold, they found a ring of other 

days, 
And faith and hope and memory cling about that simple wedding 

ring. 

It bears a posy quaint and sweet, (and well the graven letters 
wear,) 

Let love abide the words are met for those who pray love s end 
less prayer ; 

The old heart language, sung or sighed, forever speaks, Let love 
abide. 

Oh, noble mansion, proud and old, and beautiful in shade or 

shine, 

Age after age your wall enfold the treasures of an ancient line ! 
And yet let time make all the rest, if love abide, for love is 

Sarah Doudney. 




A trying hour to hand and heart ; 
She yields : the seal is given ; 
United they, till death them part 
May they be one in heaven. 



ESPOUSAL. 203 

THE PRINCE AND THE RING. 

" There was an Oriental Prince who once sent a love present to 
his betrothed, and when she opened the love present to her surprise 
it was an iron egg an ugly, rough, iron egg and so she dashed 
it upon the ground, feeling angry that her prince should send such 
a thing as that. But as it fell on the ground the egg opened, and 
out of the egg came a silver yolk, and on examining the silver yolk- 
it also opened, and out of the silver yolk there came a ruby crown, 
and on examining the ruby crown curiously it opened, and out of 
the ruby crown there came a diamond ring, and that was the token 
of love." 

That iron egg is law legal restraint the holy commandment, 
stern and dreadful to the sinner in his sins. It arrests, arraigns, 
convinces and condemns. That silver yolk is the benevolent de 
sign or goodness hid in law. " Wherefore the law is holy, just and 
good." A thorn hedge is good if it keeps you out of the ditch, or 
prevents the penalty of trespass. That ruby crown is Gospel the 
fulfilment and consummation of law the truth and grace that came 
by Jesus Christ. And that diamond ring is the covenant of love 
that God makes through Christ with his chosen people. 

" Bring hither the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring 
upon his finger and shoes on his feet." Testament. 

VgN (\ 

*&> ^j-,, 

THE LOST RING. 

Deep down in the slush of the city 

Fell a ring from a proud lady s finger 

With solicitude, moving to pity, 

As chained to the spot she did linger. 

Down stooping, (it seemed but in vain, 
While by-standers loudly did mutter,) 

She braved mingled comment an rain 
And plunged her fair hand in the gutter. 



294 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Of naught did she think but her pearl, 
And her gold of the seventh refining, 

A jewel once fit for an Earl, 

For a moment obscured in its shining. 

She searched there asjain and a^ain. 

o J*> 

Consulting no spectator s pleasure ; 
And now as reward for her pain, 

She drew forth her beautiful treasure. 

On tissue of silk, and with care, 

She wiped it and brought forth its brightness ; 
When it shone with a light heaven-fair, 

Like the wing of a seraphin whiteness. 

The vulgar now ceased their vile scorn, 
Ashamed as they saw her rewarded : 

But with trophy triumphantly borne, 
She left the low horde unregarded. 

o 

The moral is clear to you all, 

The reader can make th 1 application ; 

The ring is the soul since the fall, 
That gutter is Sin s degradation. 

There arc spirits degraded and low, 
Deep sunk in corruption s own mire, 

That may rise yet as stars set to glow 
And to sparkle like jewels on fire. 

And Christ is "the Arm of the Lord 
Made bare " for our grand restoration ; 

He picks up the lost by His Word, 

And counts them the gems of salvation. 



Aki (Greek for " always.") 

A heart content, Can ne er repent. 



ESPOUSAL. 295 

All I refuse, And thce I choose. 
All for all. 
Bear and forbear. 

Beyond this life, Love me dear wife. 
De bon cur (Found at York). 
Death never parts Such loving hearts. 
Dien vous garde. 

Endless my love, As this shall prove. 
Forever and for aye. 
God alone, Made us two one. 
God did decree, This unity. 

God tend me well to keep. The ring given by Henry VIII. ic 
Anne of Cleves. 

Got bwar iins beid, In leib and leid (With clasped hands, &c.) 

Heart and hand, At thy command. 

I have obtained, Whom God ordained. 

In love abide, Till death divide. 

In loving thee, I love myself. 

In thee my choice, I do rejoice. 

In unity, Let s live and die. 

Joy be with you. 

Le cuer ke my (Fifteenth Century, with Virgin and Child.) 

Let love increase. 

Let reason rule. 

Let us love, Like turtle dove. 

Live to love, love to live. 

Live happy. 

Love for love. 

Love alway, By night and clay. 

Love and respect, I do expect. 

Love is heaven, and heaven is love. 



296 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Love me and leave me not. 
May God above Increase our love. 
May you live long. 
Mizpch (/ . e. watch-tower.; 
My heart and I, Until I die. 

My willc were (Gold signet-ring, with cradle as device.) 
Never ncwe, (Alianour, wife of the Duke of Somerset.) 
No gift can shew, The love I owe. 
Not two but one, Till life is done. 
Post spinas palma. 
Pray to love, and love to pray. 

Quod dens conjunst homo non scparet (Sixteenth century, G. II. 
Ci lover, Esq.) 

Silence ends strife, With man and wife 

Tccta legc, Lccta tege, (Ring of Matthew Pi.ris ; found at 
Hereford. 

Till death us depart, (Margaret, wife of the Earl of Shrewsbury. 

Till my life s ende, (Elizabeth, wife of Lord Latymcr.) 

To enjoy is to obey. 

Tout pour rous, (Fifteenth century, with St. Christopher.) 

Treu and fcst. 

True love, Will ne er remove. 

We join our love In God above. 

Wedlock, tis said, In heaven is made. 

Where this I give, I wish to live. 

When this you sec, Remember me. 

Where hearts agree, There God will be, 

Your s in heart Dr. Rrewer. 



ESPOUSAL. 297 

DAME LIONES RING. 

A ring was given by Dame Liones to Sir Garcth during a tour 
nament. "That ring," said Dame Liones," increaseth my beauty 
more than it is of itself; and this is the virtue of my ring: That 
which is green it will turn to red, and that which is red it will turn 
green ; that which is blue it will turn white, and that which is white 
it will turn blue, and so with other colors. Also who beareth my 
ring can never lose blood. Sir. T. JMalroys History of Prince 
Arthur. 

CORCUn s RING. 

This legendary ring was composed of six different metals. It 
ensured the wearer success in any undertaking in which he chose 
to embark. " While you have it on your finger, said the old man, 
<l misfortune shall fly from you house, and nobody shall be able to 
hurt you : but one condition is attached to the gift, which is this : 
when you have chosen for yourself a wife, you must remain faithful 
to her as long as she lives. The moment you neglect her for an 
other you will lose the ring. T. S. Gnculettes .Chinese Tales, 1723. 



THE VIRGIN S WEDDING RING. 

There is a ring, kept in the Duomo of Perugia, said to have 
Deen given to the Virgin Mary on her betrothal to Joseph, which is 
carefully kept under no less than fourteen locks. 








BLUSHING. 




T IIATIJ been observed that in anger the eyes wax red, 
and in blushing, not the eyes, but the ears and the 
parts behind them. The cause is, that in anger the 
spirits ascend and wax eager, which is most easily seen 
in the eyes, because they are translucent, though withal it 
makcth both the cheeks and gills red. But in blushing it is 
true that the spirits ascend likewise to succor both the eyes and the 
face, which are parts that labor ; but then they are repulsed by the 
eyes, for that the eyes in shame do put back the spirits that ascend 
to them, as unwilling to look abroad. For no man in that fashion 
doth look strongly, but dejectedly, and that repulsion from the eyes 
diverteth the spirits and heat more to the ears and the parts be 
hind them. Bacon. 

Among the Grecians the bride was usually conducted in a char 
iot from her father s house in the evening to conceal her blushes. 



THE ROSY BLUSH OF HONEST LOVE. 

" Zeno was told that it was disreputable for a philosopher to be 
in love. If that were true/ said the wise man, the fair sex are 
indeed to be pitied ; for they would then receive the attention of 

fools alone. " 

cos 



ESPOUSAL. 299 

Why should I blush to own I love ? 
Tis love that rules the realms above. 
Why should I blush to say to all, 
That virtue holds my heart in thrall ? 

Why should I seek the thickest shade, 
Lest love s dear secret be betrayed ? 
Why the stern brow, deceitful move, 
When I am languishing with love ? 

Is it weakness thus to dwell 
On passion that I dare not tell ? 
Such weakness I \vould ever prove 
Tis painful, though tis sweet, to love. 

Kirke White. 

* Clear Chastity, 

With reddening blushes as she moves along, 
Disordered at the deep regard she draws. 

Thompson. 



O love ! when womanhood is in the flush, 
And man s a young and an unspotted thing, 

His first breathed word, and her half-conscious blush, 
Are fair as light of heaven, or flowers in spring. 



Allan Cunningham. 



Let me forever gaze 

And bless the new-born glories that adorn thee ; 
From every blush that kindles in thy cheeks, 
Ten thousand little loves and graces spring. 

Rcnvc. 



PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

" A BLUSH IS THE CREAM OF MODESTY." 
The blushing cheek speaks modest mind, 
The lips befitting words most kind, 
The eye doth tempt to love s desire, 
And seems to say, " Tis Cupid s fire." 

Harrington. 

Oc^C>^C ;,;-*>,<> -- 

The blush is Nature s alarm at the approach of sin and her 
testimony to the dignity of virtue. Fuller. 

O Lord, I am ashamed, and blush to lift up my face to Thee, 

my God. Ezra. 

^- -- + --- g -- .+. j^ 

BLUSHING NOT ALWAYS A CRITERION OF TRUTH. 

"There is beauty in the blush of a rose, and there is beauty of 
a higher character in the blush that mantles the cheek of modesty, 
and yet there may be just as little of loyalty to God in the living 
as in the inanimate object." 



That holy shame, which ne er forgets 
What clear renown it used to wear ; 
Whose blush remains, when Virtue sets, 
To show her sunshine has been there." 



"A flush, 

(As shame, deep shame, had once burnt on her ckeek, 
Then lingered there forever) looked like health. 
Offering hope, vain hope, to the pale lip ; 
Like the rich crimson of the evening sky, 
Brightest when night is coming." 

They were not at all ashamed, neither could they blush. Lille. 
" When the heart is past hope, the face is past shame." 



ESPOUSAL. 301 

THE COLOR OF BLUSHES. 

Take courage, that is the color of virtue. Diogenes to blushing 
Student. 

Swarthy nations blush white. 

Tell an Arab lady that she is as beautiful as a camel, and her 
skin will tinge with an approving blush. 

Tertullian makes himself very merry with those that pretend to 
be Christians, iand call for a bodkin to dress their hair, and the 
blushes of such a paper to beautify their complexion. 

I like her not ; she is a fair craft sailing under false colors. 
Sailor speaking of a noted beauty. 

" A female, praising the beautiful color used by the artist on her 
miniature, was told by him that he did not doubt she was a woman 
of good taste ; for they both bought their rouge at the same shop." 



NO BLUSHING IN PARAt)ISE. 

Into this paradise of pleasure the Lord God conducted our first 
parents ; who, at this time were naked and yet not ashamed, be 
cause their innocence was their protection. They had no sinful 
inclinations in their bodies, no evil consciences in their minds, to 
make them, blush : and. withal, the temperature of the climate was 
such as need no clothing to defend them from the weather. God 
having given them (as we may imagine) a survey of their new habi 
tation, shown them the various beauties of the place, the work 
wherein they were to employ themselves by day, and the bower 
wherein they were to repose by night. Stackhouse. 



WEDDING CHEER. 



THE CONSCIOUS WATER SAW ITS LORD AND BLUSHED. 



n ;XD the third clay there was a marriage in Cana of Gali- 
llXlt lee ; and the mother of Jesus was there. 

^\ jjr- * .$?* 

And both Jesus was called, and his disciples to the 
Cr^ marriage. 

And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus 
saith unto him, The}- have no wine. 

Jesus saith unto her, Woman what have I to do with thee ? 
mine hour is not yet come. 

His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever he saith unto 
you, do it. 

And there were set there six watcrpots of stone, after the man 
ner of the purifying of the Jews, containing two or three firkins 
apiece. 

Jesus saith unto them, Fill the watcrpots with water. And they 
filled them up to the brim. 

And he saith unto them, Draw out now, and bear unto the 
governor of the feast. And they bear it. 

When the ruler of the feast had tasted the water that was made 
wine, and knew not whence it was ; (but the servants which drew 
the water knew) ; the governor of the feast called the bridegroom. 

802 



ESPOUSAL. 303 

And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth 
good wine ; and when men have well drunk, then that which is 
worse, but thou hast kept the good wine until now, 



" They have no wine," she said, 

The mother of our Lord ; 
And scant the feast outspread 
Upon a wincless board. 

For wine, tis said, doth cheer 
The heart of God and man ; 

The grape s enlivening "tear" 
On Jewish altars ran. 

A drink offering most meet 
Prepared for God above, 

The cluster s blessing sweet, 
The churches cup of love. 

Then let thy bounty deign 
The needed festal cheer ; 

Nor poverty complain 

Of want, while thou art near. 

"Oh ! woman, what have I," 
He said, " to do with thee ; 

Should miracle supply 
E en vinous luxury ? 

Shall need so trivial dare 
Demand divine display, 

Or ask angelic fare 

To grace a wedding day? 

Did I for this come forth 

Endued with heavenly might, 

To aid convivial mirth, 

And crown the nuptial rite? : 



304 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Thus Jesus tries her faith : 
The Master seems austere 

As when of old He saith, 

" Shal! dogs eat children s fare ?" 

But grace cannot say nay, 
The bounty surely comes ; 

None empty go away : 

E en dogs may eat the crumbs. 

Our Saviour still doth bless 
The portion of His saints, 

Doth all their griefs redress, 
And banish their complaints. 

And she who knows His love 
Is equal to His power 

Stands waiting now to prove 
Messiah s primal hour. 

And turning to the guests, 
With admonition true, 

She earnestly requests 

That what He bids they ll do. 

"The vessels fill," he cries, 
" Up to the flowing brim ;" 

With wonder and surprise, 
They gladly wait on Him. 

His word and work are one : 
Behold the empurpling sign -, 

every urn doth run 
A fountain of red wine. 



ESPOUSAL. 

Thus, men must do His will, 
If they his grace would prove, 

For earthly labor still 

Must wait on heavenly love. 

The slothful ne er may know 
What good in action lies, 

Nor how through duties flow 
The wines of Paradise. 

Yon runner waxeth warm, 
Increasing heat with speed ; 

And harvests golden charm 

Must wave from plenteous seed. 

The soul, like rising tide, 
Doth find in motion rest, 

And halcyon-like doth ride 
On billow s heavine breast. 



The sea s unceasing roll 
Preserves his waters pure ; 

While summer-sleeping pool 
Breeds dull stagnation, sure. 

Those fowl ne er cl mb the sky 
Who feed on grosser food ; 

The wings that highest fiy 

Are warmed with richest blood. 

Rew r ard comes after task, 
Tis work, and work alone, 

Can turn to vinous cask 
Rude waterpots of stone. 



PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

"Draw out," He says, "and bear 
To th governor of the feast : 

Let all the guests have share, 
From th reatest to the least. 






Around from cup to cup 
The heavenly liquor flows ; 

Till all, rejoicing, sup, 
And every bosom glows. 

Oh ! viand exquisite, 

Oh ! more than palace cheer, 
What words can thee bent ? 

A God-like chalice here. 

No deleterious draft, 

No questionable boon, 
Was ere from mercy quaffed 

Since rolled the sun and moon. 

The governor, with joy, 

Partakes the gift divine : 
(That good can never cloy 

Where heaven and earth combined 

"Of wines, men at the first," 
Saith he, " set forth the good 

When men have drunk, the worst : 
(Dull taste hath merriest mood.) 

But nobler than the rest 

And far more generous thou, 

Of wines hast kept the best 
And choicest until now." 



ESPOUSAL. 307 



Thou stem of Jesse s rod, 

This lesson now make mine ; 

All duties done to God, 
Turn water into wine. 



CHRIST 



AT THE WEDDING. (FOR THOSE ABOUT TO MARRY.) 



The first public miracle graceth a marriage. It is an ancient 
and laudable institution, that the rites of matrimony should not want 
a solemn celebration. When are feasts in season, if not at the re 
covery of our lost rib ? if not at this main change of our estate 
wherein the joy of obtaining meets with the hope of further com 
forts. The Son of the Virgin and the mother of that Son are both 
present at a wedding. It was in all likelihood some of their kin 
dred to whose nuptial feast they were invited so far, yet it was more 
the honor of the act than of the person that Christ intended. He 
that made the first marriage in Paradise (and doubtless the same 
blessed Second Person in the Trinity gave Eve to Adam) bestows 
His first miracle upon a Galilean marriage. He that was the author 
of matrimony, and sanctified it, doth by His holy presence honor 
the resemblance of His eternal union with His church. How boldly 
may we spit in the faces of all impure adversaries of wedlock when 
the Son of God pleases to honor it. 

(God turns the key in wedlock s gate 

And guards it with His thunder ; 
What God hath joined, O blest estate ! 

Let no man put asunder.) 

The glorious bridegroom of the church knew well how ready 
men would be to place shame even in the most lawful conjunctions, 
and therefore his first work shall be to countenance his own ordi 
nance. Happy is that wedding where Christ is a guest. Oh ! 



PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Saviour, those that marry in Thee, cannot marry without Thee. 
There is no holy marriage where thou art not, however invisible, 
yet surely present by thy spirit and benediction. Hall s Contem 
plations, 1664. 



THE GOVERNOR AND ETIQUETTE OF MARRIAGE FEASTS. 

At nuptial feasts there were guests o f two sorts : first, those 
that had been invited, and. secondly, those that came of their own 
accord, and who were expected to bring presents. 

The Jewish nuptial feasts continued seven or eight clays (Gen. 
xxviii. 29 ; Judges xiv. 14). What is here related of the wine fall 
ing short, may therefore be understood as of the fifth, sixth or 
seventh day, for it is scarcely probable that such a deficiency should 
have occurred much sooner. It seems to have been occasioned by 
the unexpected arrival of Jesus and his disciples ; Jesus being in 
vited as being j n the neighborhood, probably not as a prophet, but 
as a countryman, relation and acquaintance. The idea of a rela 
tionship arises from the circumstance of Mary being so much con 
cerned about procuring the supply of wine, and also because, when 
the feast was over, Jesus went down to Capernum with his brethren 
and relations, who where distinct from his disciples (Matthew ii. 12) 
from which it would seem that they all came together, as parties 
interested in this marriage. 



The waterpots were there that the Jews might wash their hands 
before they made their meal, which is still their practice. 

* * :> * * 

Bishop Cumberland estimates the firkin at a gallon. Some, 
however, consider this measure to be the same that is in the Old 
Testament called the bath, which some say held seven gallons and 



ESPOUSAL. 309 

a half, and others, only four and a half. There is some difficulty 
in exactly reckoning the measures of the ancients. 

# * * # * 

Dr. E D. Clark, the traveller, makes an interesting observation 
on Cana. He says, It is worthy of note, that walking- among the 
ruins of a church we saw large, massy stone pots, answering the 
description given of the ancient vessels of the country, not preserved 
and exhibited as religious relics, but lying about, disregarded by 
the present inhabitants as antiquities with whose original use they 
were unacquainted. From their appearance and the number of 
them, it was quite evident that a practice of keeping water in large 
stone pots, each holding from eighteen to twenty-seven gallons was 
once common in the country. 

* * * * ,:-. 

The governor of the feast among the Jews blessed the cup, and 
then sent it round among the guests. The Greeks had such an 
officer ; and it is thought that from them the example was copied 
by the Jews. He was chosen from one of the most agreeable of 
the guests, and his duty was to taste the wine, and watch the guests 
so that if any of them began to be intoxicated, he was to prevent 
its progress by diluting the liquor for them as it was sent around. 
The Greeks called him the Symposiarch. Pictorial Explanatory 
New Testament. 

When the Almighty deigns His favors in providence or grace, 
He does not give like a man, by measure, or by stint, and limit 
himself to a precise quantity for bestowal, but He gives like a God, 
and makes our cup to run over. Even as it was said of Alexander 
that he gave like a king, an ass load of gold, or five hundred 
weight of frankincense (very precious) at one time ; or as the mon- 
archs of old, sometimes made wine to run down the streets on. the 
day of their coronation, to show the abundance of the royal 
resources. 



3 IQ PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

1 And we cannot charge the providence of God with being in 
strumental to all the gluttony and drunkenness which is committed 
in the world, merely because He affords that meat and drink which 
men of immoderate appetites abuse to excess." 

" It is a high commendation of providence that it crowns us 
with plenty (whatsoever use we make of it) and bestows upon us 
richly all things to enjoy, (and who can number the clouds in wis 
dom or stay the bottles of heaven). So it was not unbecoming a 
person invested with a divine commission to give on this occasion 
an eminent instance of his flowing liberality, and by his gracious 
providence for the family to leave a grateful memorial behind of 
his benevolent regard to the persons that very likely, were his 
relatives and had just entered into the honorable estate of 
matrimony." 

1 Among the Jews there was always the greatest decency and 
sobriety imaginable, observed in the celebration of their marriages. 
To this purpose a governor of the feast (as some say of the sacer 
dotal race) was always chosen, whose office it was to have supcrin- 
tcndcncy of the dishes and wine, and to oblige the guests to 
observe all the decorums that religion required, and not only so, 
but other persons, at this time were Likewise appointed to break- 
glass vessels, as a common signal to give the company notice that 
they had already drunk enough and were not permitted to run to 
excess." 

" The question, what have I to do with thec ? or what is it to 
you and me ? The care of providing wine on this occasion, docs 
not properly belong to you and me : but, admitting it did, my hour 
is not come. It is too soon as yet to set about it, because it is 
highly fitting that the necessity of that supernatural supply which 
I intend them, should be a little more felt in order to recommend 
the benefit itself, and to give the manner of attaining it, a power of 
making a deeper impression on their minds." 



ESPOUSAL. 3 ! 1 

But what is this I hear? A sharp answer to the suit of a 
mother? Oh woman what have I to do with thec ? lie whose 
sweet mildness and mercy never sent away any suppliant discon 
tented, doth he only frown upon her that bare him? lie that 
commands us to honor father and mother, doth he disdain her 
whose flesh he took? God forbid : love and duty doth not exempt 
parents from due admonition. She solicited Christ as a mother, 
He answers her as a woman. If she were the mother of his flesh, 
his deity was eternal. She might not so remember herself to be a 
mother, that she should forget she was a woman, nor so look upon 
him as a son, that she should not regard him as a God. He was 
so obedient to her as a mother, that withal she must obey him as 
her God. That part which he took from her shall observe her ; 
she must observe that nature which came from above, and made 
her both a woman and a mother. Matter of miracle concerned the 
Godhead only ; supernatural things were above the sphere of 
fleshly relation. If now the blessed Virgin will be prescribing 
either time or form into Divine acts, O woman, what have I to do 
with thcc? my hour is not come. In all bodily actions his style 
was, O mother : in spiritual and heavenly, O woman. Neither is 
it for us in the holy affairs of God to know any faces ; yea, if we 
have known Christ heretofore according to the flesh, henceforth 
know we him so no more. 

"O Blessed Virgin, if in that heavenly glory wherein thou art 
thou canst take notice of these earthly things, with what indigna 
tion dost thou look upon the presumptous superstition of vain men, 
whose suits make thee more than a solicitor of Divine favors? 
Thy humanity is not lost in thy motherhood, nor in thy glory. 
The respects of nature reach not so high as Heaven. It is far from 
thee to abide that honor which is stolen from thy Redeemer. 

" There is a marriage whereto we are invited , yea wherein we 
are already interested, not as the guests only, but as the bride ; in 



312 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

which there shall be no want of the wine of gladness. It is a mar 
vel if in these earthly banquets there be not some lack. In thy 
presence, O Saviour, there is fulness of joy, and at thy right hand 
arc pleasures for evcrmoic. Blessed are they that arc called to 
the marriage supper of the lamb." 



TIII-: i;i-:sT WINK LAST. 

So Cana said : but still the first was 

For skilful nature wrought her very best ; 

Turning the sunshine into hues of blood, 
Bringing the ripened clusters to be pressed. 

The good, the better, and tlv: last the best, 
This is the order of the Masters wine ; 

Mere than the yesterdays to-day s are blest, 
And life s to-inorro\\s may be more divine. 

We "bid" thcc, master, come and be our guest 
Life s common things thou turnest into wine ; 

Our cares, our woes, our bitter tears are blest, 
If only thou dost " cause thy face to shine." 

Good Words. 

-t-CJ. jOV- 

" The love of the world in its commencement is sweet, but in 
the end bitter; the love of God at first appears bitter; but in the 
end it becomes sweet. This is proved to us in a remarkable man 
ner by the evangelist s account of the marriage feast at Cana, where 
it is said, Kvcry man at the beginning doth set forth good wine, 
and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse ; but 
thou hast kept the good wine until now. The natural man first 
imbibes the good wine that is to say, he is dazzled by the deceit- 



ESPOUSAL. 



313 



ful sweetness of earthly pleasures ; when these false desires have 
made him drunken, then must he drink the bad conscience and 
its sting- approaches. But Jesus keeps the good wine until the 
end. Will he satisfy a soul with his love he first permits it to 
undergo sorrow and suffering, that the gracious draught may be so 
much the more refreshing and the sweeter. Hildebert, Archbishop 
of Tours, 1185. 

-o3@*o-i 

GREAT PERSONAGES AT MARRIAGE FEASTS. 

Christ himself, in Cana of Galilee, honored marriage with his 
own presence. It is a custom among men to grace their feasts and 
solemn meeting with the presence of high personages. Absalom 
invited the king unto his house. The prophets of God in former 
ages were of such account that noble men, yea princes, thought 
themselves honored by their presence. Naaman, a great man, and 
honored in the Syrian court, waited with his horses and chariots at 
the door of Elisha ; and yet could not speak with him in person, 
but was answered by a messenger. Saul intreated Samuel to honor 
him with his company. If these prophets were a countenance and 
honor unto persons ot so high estate, what then is Christ, whose 
shoe lachet John the Baptist, who was more than a prophet, was 
not worthy to untie? Nay, more than that, it pleased Christ to do 
the greater honor unto the marriage, to show forth there the first 
fruits of his Godhead ; he graced the bridegroom with the Jiaiisell 
of his miracles." 




CHARACTERISTIC. WEDDINGS. 



THE PALMER-NEVADA WEDDING. 




RIDESMAIDS generally enter behind the bride. On 
this occasion they preceded her, and nearing the chan 
cel, stepped aside with their beaux or garcons aJion- 
neur, on whose arms they leaned. This was to let the 
bride, when she came, enter first within the railings. The 
manoeuvre was prettily executed, and would have done 
credit to an operatic performance. This bevy of bridesmaids was 
composed of really beautiful girls ; but the two who held their 
heads easily looked to the most advantage. There were no nod 
ding plumes on the heads of the other two, but one would fancy 
they thought there were. One had very vivacious eyes. There 
was something in their style of dress resembling that of the vestal 
virgins, while the veils were Byzantine. All four where in white 
from top to toe, and owing to white tulle in their skirts and head 
gear, looked quite ethereal. They carried roses in their hands to 
scatter before the bride as she was leaving the altar with her 
husband. 

The bride her head bore high wreath, Lucia fashion, of orange 
blossoms, and her skirt was thickly edged to correspond. The 
fragrance of the garniture filled the church. Her train so long ! 
so long ! was worn gracefully. Behind, the veil was no shorter. 

314 



ESPOUSAL. 315 

She was prcllily einue, but without agitation, and the eyes expressed 
confidence and religious feeling. A painter who is doing an episode 
in St. Cecilia s life begged me to obtain an invitation for him to the 
wedding, in hope of gleaning there something that would do in his 
picture. I have not heard to what extent he succeeded. London 
Truth. 

A DRUIDICAL WEDDING. 

The following description of a marriage in the Druidical days is 
given in Saintine s Myths of the Rhine : 

At a place where two roads meet, the cracking of a whip is 
heard ; hogs, sheep and small oxen are driven aside to make way 
for a kind of procession, consisting of grave and solemn men and 
women. 

It is a wedding. 

Two young people have ;ust had ^.eir union blessed by the 
priests under the sacred oak. The bride is dressed in black, and 
wears a wreath of dark leaves on her head. She walks in the midst 
of her friends. A matron, who walks on her left, holds before her 
eyes a white cloth ; it is a shroud, the shroud in which she will be 
buried one of these days. On her right a Druid intones a chant, in 
which he enumerates in solemn rythm all the troubles and all the 
anxieties which await her wedded life. 

From this day, young wife, thou alone wilt have to bear all the 
burden of your united household. 

You will have to attend the baking oven, to provide fuel, and 
to go in search of food ; you will have to prepare the resinous torch 
and the lamp. 

You will wash the linen at the fountain, and you will make up 
the clothing. 

You will attend to the cow, and even to the horse if your hus 
band requires it. 



3 1 6" PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Always full of respect, you will wait on him, standing behind 
him at his meals. 

If he expresses a wish to take you with him to war, you will 
accompany him to carry his baggage, to keep his arms in good 
condition, and to nurse him if he should be sick or wounded. 

Happiness consists in the fulfilment of duty. Be happy, my 
child. 

What is still more strange is that this dolorous weddino- son"- 

o o * 

slightly altered, is still in some parts of France, at this day, ad 
dressed to brides by local minstrels. 



o-oo 



MORAVIAN MARRIAGES. 

" \Ye highly reverence marriage, as greatly conducive to the 
kingdom of Christ. But neither our young men nor women enter 
into it till they assuredly know they are married to Christ. When 
any know that it is the will of God that they should change their 
state, both the man and the woman arc placed for a time with some 
married persons, who instruct them how to behave, so that their 
married life may be pleasing to God. Then their design is laid 
before the whole church, and after about fourteen days they are 
solemnly joined, though not otherwise habited than they are at 
other times. If they make any entertainment, which is not always, 
they invite only a few intimate friends, by whose faithful admoni 
tions they may be the better prepared to bear their cross and fight 
the good fight of faith." 

QUAKER MARRIAGES. 

Divorces arc actually unknown among the Quakers, and this 
absence is accounted for by the extraordinary precautions em 
ployed when two young persons desire to be united in marriage. 



ESPOUSAL. 



The parties place their proposals of marriage in a written form, 
which is referred to the Society of which they are members, and is 
first acted upon at a "Preparation Meeting" thereof. If all the 
attendant circumstances are in every respect in accordance with the 
views of those present, the proposal is approved, and is then intro 
duced at the " monthly meeting," where it is again passed upon, 
and a committee of investigation into the characters, habits and 
circumstances ot the engaged twain is appointed. These commit 
tees always consists of two member of each sex. The committee, 
after a most thorough examination and investigation, makes its 
report, generally at the succeeding " monthly" meeting. This ends 
the preliminary arrangements, and the twain arc then at liberty to 
proceed in the accomplishment of their marriage, a committee of 
two of each sex being appointed by the meeting to see it orderly 
conducted, and the marriage certificate delivered to the Recorder. 
As a rule, the impressive ceremonies are generally conducted at the 
home of the bride, and occasionally in the "meeting house." 
the nuptial ceremonies, the certificate of marriage is given to the 
couple, which, after receiving their own signatures, is in turn signed 
by every person present, and frequently contains a hundred or more 
names. Engagement or wedding rings are rarely given. Brooklyn 
Magazine. 

**""> j7>- 

"CATCHING A TARTAR," OR A TARTARY WEDDING. 

" Among the Kirghese the practice of polygamy obtains. Gen 
erally the eldest brother of a family has more than one wife. 
first wife is mistress of the household, and is called baibicJic. 
her are subject, not only her husband s other wives, but also the 
other inmates of the family. The head of the household will often 
send a portion of his herd several hundred miles away under the 
care of this wife, while he himself will either remain with his other 
wives about the grazing ground, or go and encamp somewhere by 



3l8 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

himself. In winter the family comes together again. The mani 
fold circumstances connected with marriage among Kirghese are 
somewhat formidable, and involve the payment of a kaliin y besides 
the giving of various presents. The affair is arranged as to its 
preliminaries by matchmakers, and the bridegroom after betrothal 
has sometimes to wait for a year or more until he can bring the re 
maining portion of the kahui. If during this period the betrothed 
girl should die, her parents are bound to give instead their next 
daughter, or in default, to return the kalim^ and pay also a fine of 
one or two horses and robes or furs. So also is it if the girl should 
refuse to marry, which she may do on account of the ill-health, or 
his poverty (in some localities), her personal dislike. Yet another 
custom is that if the bridegroom die or refuse to marry the girl, his 
parents are bound to take her for their next son, paying a fine, 
usually a camel, in case of refusal. When the prescribed period of 
betrothal is at an end, the bridegroom, dressed and mounted at his 
best, goes with his friends to the aul or village of the bride, where 
the tent has been prepared for his reception. Throughout the 
ceremonies of betrothal, the bride s brother has the right of pilfer 
ing from the bridegroom whatever he pleases ; but now the bride s 
relations come and take as presents almost everything he has his 
coat, hat, girdle, horse and saddle, saying each one that they are 
for the education of the bride a seizure that is afterwards repaid 
by the relations of the bridegroom on the visit to the home of the 
relations of the bride." 



INDIAN WEDDING. 

If you wouid like to see one form of Indian marriage (for all 
tribes have not the same ceremonies, by any means) just step 
with me into this wigwam. There they stand the bridegroom and 
the bride surrounded with any number of relatives and witnesses, 
for everybody likes to see a wedding. A pipe, with bowl of pol- 



ESPOUSAL. 319 

ished stone, and flattened at the sides so as to admit of two hearts 
being carved thereon a larger one below representing the brave s, 
and a smaller one above to symbolize the squaw s is handed the 
former, who smokes a little, and then gives it to the latter, and she 
after taking a few whiffs, passes the same to her nearest friend, and 
so it goes to all the company. Thus two are smoked into one, ac 
cording to what is called the -Pipe Ceremony." 

GYPSY \VKDDING. 

"Few more fantastic scenes can be conceived than a gypsy wed 
ding. The place usually chosen is a sand pit. In two long rows 
fronting each other the attendants take their stand, leaving a path 
in the middle, half way down which a broomstick is placed, held up 
about eighteen inches above the ground. The bridegroom is called, 
walks down the path, steps over the broomstick, and awaits the 
maiden s arrival. She, too, is called, walks down between the rows 
of gypsies, lightly trips over the stick, and is then received into the 
arms of her husband. A few days of feasting follow, and then the 
wild, wandering life is resumed. Children grow up in the tent or 
van, and as the wants become greater, the gypsy matron adds an 
other to her resources of making a livelihood." 



ELOPING WITH A GYPSY PRINCESS. 

" Great excitement exists in" the gypsy camp near Yalesville, 
just north of Wallingford, Conn., in consequence of the elopement 
of the sixteen-year-old daughter of Prince William with a New 
Haven young man of twenty-five, who had fallen violently in love 
with the gypsy princess. She did not return to the camp one night 
at the usual hour, and consequently there was a great uproar. The 
young man had paid frequent visits to the camp, and the girl 



320 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

had had her palm as frequently crossed with silver, because she 
predicted for him great fortune. Still his actions had not excited 
the suspicions of the other gypsies. 

The young woman is beautiful, has black eyes, and long, dark- 
hair, and is one of sixteen children that call Prince Williams 
father. The latter, who is a veritable prince among the gypsies, 
was born in England fifty years ago. His headquarters are in 
Boston, where he owns a well-stocked livery stable, which he looks 
after in the winter, but in the summer his sons attend to it, while 
he roams at the head of his band through New England. 

He is reputed to be very wealthy, and owns, besides, farms in 
East Hartford, Mass., and Canada. His wife is the purchasing 
agent and treasurer of the band, and drives many a sharp bargain 
with those with whom she deals. The prince and princess have a 
magnificent wagon, in which glass and gilt predominate as orna 
ments, and is said to have cost over $1,000. 

No trace has been found of the runaways, and detectives have 
been put to work on the case, with instructions to spare neither 
pains nor expense to accomplish their capture. The vengeance of 
the camp will be visited on her, as marriage outside the camp is 
regarded with horror by these strange people." 



A CELEBRATED WEDDING ON A MEMORABLE DAY, OR MARRIED 
WHEN THREE SUNDAYS CAME TOGETHER. 

Edgar A. Poe, with characteristic cleverness and ingenuity, 
proves by a scientific fact the accomplishment of a seeming im 
possibility, and shows how a certain guardian uncle s supposed 
futile promise came to be unexpectedly and surprisingly claimed 
and performed. For has not that queer old gentleman met 
the pleadings of an importunate suitor for the hand of his rich 



ESPOUSAL. 321 

neice by telling him, with sundry knowing smiles and winks and 
covert expressions of high glee, that he (the young man) shall 
have the girl on that auspicious day whenever it may occu- that 
three Sundays come together. 

Now, it so happens that this droll old gentleman has two friends 
who are fond of travel, and who, fortunately for the young couple, 
conceive the project at this time of an extensive tour, or circum 
navigating the globe. On their safe return, meeting at their old 
friend s house to recount the adventures of their respective tours, it 
is found that " Mr. Smitherton," who set sail eastward, has been so 
continually anticipating the rising of the sun that he has gained a 
day in his course ; while on the other hand, " Air. Rumgudgcon," 
who started westward, has been gradually leaving the sun behind 
him on his constant way, and has consequently lost the same length 
of time. Therefore, as will be seen by the discerning reader, 
Smitherton s Sunday has nimbly stepped over into Monday, and 
Rumgudgeon s Sabbath has slided back into Saturday, while tile- 
aforesaid uncle s Day of Rest remains unchanged, proving that 
nothing is impossible to love, and that " all things come round to 
him that waits." 



WHERE THE SUN JUMPS A DAY. 

"Chatham Island, lying off the coast of New Zealand, in the 
South Pacific Ocean, is peculiarly situated, as it is one of the habit 
able points of the globe where the day of the week changes. It is 
just in the line of demarcation between dates. There high twelve 
on Sunday, or noon, ceases, and instantly Monday meridian begins. 
Sunday comes into a man s house on the cast side, and becomes 
Monday by the time it passes out of the western door. A man 
sits down to his noonday day dinner on Sunday, and it is Monday 
noon before he finishes it. 



32? PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

There Saturday is Sunday, and Sunday is Monday, and Mon 
day becomes suddenly transferred into Tuesday. It is a good place 
for people who have lost much time, for by taking an early start 
they can always get a day ahead on Chatham Island. It took 
philosophers and geographers a long time to settle the puzzle of 
where Sunday ceased and Monday noon began with a man travel 
ling west fifteen degrees an hour, or with the sun. It is to be hoped 
that the next English Arctic expedition will settle the other mooted 
question : Where will one stop who travels north- west continually ?" 



A POLISH \YKDDING, OR THREE DAYS MARRVING. 

The following is a description of a wedding which occurred at a 
place called Morris Mills, in the neighborhood of New York, and 
after a courtship of a few weeks continuance, on the clay appointed 
it is said : 

" With a number of their friends and relatives the pair left for 
New York, where the nuptial knot was tied at the Polish church in 
Stanton street, by their priest. As soon as they were made one 
they took the first train for home, and on their arrival at Bloomfield 
all the Poles in the place assembled at their home, in Poland lane, 
for the express purpose of giving them a serenade, and to join in 
the festivities of the day. All kinds of instruments, drums, tin 
pans, violins, tambourines, and bones, were used on this occasion, 
together with the burning of tar-barrels, in order to make every 
thing pertaining to the wedding a success. 

The wedding reception, which lasted until midnight of Tuesday, 
making three days, as is the custom n their native land, commenced 
on Saturday evening, and an enjoyable time was had at the resi 
dence of the bride s parents. All day Saturday and Sunday the 
many friends of the happy couple had an opportunity of visiting 
them, and aftr offering their congratulations were escorted into a 



ESPOUSAL. 



323 



room near the kitchen, where they were treated to all the beer they 
wanted, together with a Hibernian sandwich made expressly for 
the wedding reception, and which was greatly enjoyed by all who 
partook of the supper. After they had eaten, the guests were taken 
into a large and spacious room, where dancing was kept up until 
midnight, the music being furnished by members of the party. The 
bride and groom separated each night after bidding every one good 
night, going to their respective homes, to meet again at noon of the 
morrow, when the same performance was gone over until midnight. 

On Tuesday evening, at 12 o clock, when the marriage feast 
ends, the happy ones are considered married, and are allowed to 
gp to the home which has been prepared for them a short distance 
from that of the wife s parents." 



MARRIAGE THROUGH A DREAM. 

The father of the Jewish Rabbi, Moses Maimonides, entered 
into the conjugal state in advanced life through having dreamt 
several successive times that he was wedded to the daughter of a 

o 

butcher in his neighborhood ; the lady whom he did eventually 
marry. 



A SEPTUAGENARIAN WEDDING. 

Tis often said that first love, when sincere, is enduring, and from 
memory never fades ; that though people may deceive themselves 
with the idea that it has been crushed and buried beyond resurrec 
tion, it needs but the sight of the loved one s face, or some tender 
recollection, to restore the affection that was not dead, but only 
slumbering. A very striking exemplification of this was furnished 
the other day in the marriage of the Rev. William D. Buck and 
Mrs. Alvira Austin, at the advanced ages of seventy-six and 



324 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

seventy-two respectively, which was solemnized in this city. It was 
learned last evening, on excellent authority, that the groom in his 
early manhood was devotedly attached to the lady who is now his 
wife, and in fact they were engaged. Some one of those peculiar 
matters, which it is often difficult to explain, broke off the match. 
In time each made a different choice and married. In the course 
of events the Rev. Mr. Buck saw his wife, and two sons she had 
borne him, laid in the grave. Chance, or was it fate, brought him 
face to face with the sweetheart of other days. The old love was 
awakened, he wooed and won her. Buffalo Courier. 



When age weddeth age, why should we complain, 
" There s no law against it " in reason or truth ; 

So long as true love in the heart doth remain 
The old may be happy as well as braw youth. 

Though the head may be white, yet the soul is still young, 

The spirit knows nothing of time, chance or change ; 
And vows may be true, spoke by faltering l< n , r uc : 
Then to seek wedded comfort why should it seem strange ? 

We need it the more as the years grow apace ; 

Companionship sweetens as life growth drear ; 
Deny us not then one familiar face 

To cheer life s decline and to wipe the last tear. 



INCIDENTAL MARRIAGES. 



I do not know whether it has ever been noticed that the pre 
mature announcement, or rather the publication, of an engagement 
between two people who previously had never thought of sharing 
their fortunes, however large or small, and of entering upon a mar- 



ESPOUSAL. 325 

riage compact, has brought about such a happy result. I happen 
to know of two very happily married couples who for the first time 
found they loved each other by a notice appearing in print that 
they were engaged. One gentleman, in particular, started for a 
certain newspaper office with every intention of razing the building 
to the ground, in consequence of the publication of this statement, 
and when about half way on his mission had thought the matter 
over, and concluded to retrace his steps and make a formal pro 
position of marriage to the young lady. This he did, and was ac 
cepted. Another gentleman was asked so repeatedly whether he 
was engaged to a certain young lady in New York society that he 
concluded she would make him a good wife, and he, likewise, is 
married to her. Similar results rarely occur. After all, perhaps, 
these social paragraphs more often conduce to happiness than they 
bring about the annulment of matrimonial proceeding.. From 
Town Talk. 



PLAYING AT WEDDINGS. 

But whereunto shall I liken this generation ? It is like unto 
children sitting in the markets, and calling unto their fellows, 

And saying, We have piped unto you, and ye have not danced : 
we have mourned unto you, and ye have not lamented. Bible. 



That was a humorous, though dishonest, little school-boy who, 
once upon a time, during recess, stole into the master s garden 
adjacent to the playground and hiding among the vines, helped 
himself most bountifully to the rich clusters of ripe grapes, that 
sweetly hang in charming abundance there. But before he put 
the tempting morsel to his longing but forbidden lips, he sought to 
qualify the doubtful act by pronouncing a sacred formula over it, 



26 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

he saying, as he quoted from the Book of Common Prayer : " I 
publish the banns of matrimony between " these grapes and my 
mouth " if any person knowcth any just cause or impediment why 
they should not be joined together let him now declare it." As no 
one seemed to be present to interrupt the pleasant ceremony, the 
marriage was going on between the fruit of the vine and the palate of 
the urchin, when, lo ! a boding presence stole in upon the peaceful 
scene, and a voice, which proved to be the master s himself, cried 
out, as it came rushing nearer and nearer, and therefore sounding 
louder and louder on its approach, " I publish the banns of matri 
mony betwixt this stick and your back. If any person 
knoweth any just cause " I forbid the banns," cried the sur 
prised youth, whose wit, like fire in flint, was struck out of him by 
fear. "Why?" thundered the frowning pedagogue, as he held the 
uplifted birch in ominous proximity to the culprit s trembling back. 
" Because the parties are not agreed," replied the ready boy. As 
this fact was unanswerable, and as the irate teacher had been un 
wittingly betrayed into employing the legal form of settling the 
dispute, the case was dismissed with sundry charges. 



MOCK MARRIAGES AND MINISTERIAL COMMENTS THEREON. 

In a special from Buffalo to New York, a correspondent writes: 
" There has been some stir in the religious portion of the com 
munity over the celebration of mock Japanese weddings in River 
side, Westminster and other churches. The craze began shortly 
after The Mikado" had been performed here, and the results have 
given the ministers some uneasiness. The last church ceremony 
was at Riverside Methodist Church, the principal performers being 
Joseph C. Adams, a bookkeeper, and Miss Mary Scott, a school 
teacher, the handsomest couple in Black Rock. They do not con 
sider themselves married. It would be embarrassing if the marri- 



ESPOUSAL. 

age should prove to be genuine, inasmuch as it is whispered that 
both parties have other attachments. A leading minister said 
to-day : 

I have not seen the Mikado. But. if what I have been told is 
correct, Dr. Smith has been indiscreet in allowing a representation 
of the opera in his church. The name Yum Yum is vulgar and 
slangy, and even a comical wedding between such a character and 
a lord high executioner is distasteful to religious people. I am told 
that the ceremony was even more binding and formal than at 
Riverside. It is shocking. It is demoralizing, and, in common 
with other Presbyterians, I protest against such practices. 

The Rev. Patrick Cronin, editor of The Catholic Union, who is 
closely in sympathy with Bishop Ryan, has written a letter in 
which he says : Mock marriages are a dangerous game to play 
The essence of marriage is the consent of the contracting parties ; 
and when this consent is clearly manifested (usually by words) 
there is no longer any mock about it. The consenting parties are 
wedded. It seems to me that the many melancholy instances fur 
nished by the public press of frolicksome mock marriages, how they 
have blighted happy homes and withered human hearts, should be 
sufficient warning against such amusement, which begins in smiles, 
but so often ends in tears. 

The Rev. Dr. Brown, rector of St. Paul s Cathedral, says : T^e 
mock marriages tend to irreverence, however unintentional, and to 
the depreciation of the solemn service of matrimony. I hope they 
may be discontinued. 

The Rev. Mr. Falk, rabbi of the Temple Beth Zion, says that 
he was surprised that Japanese mock marriages should have been 
allowed in any house of worship, and characterizes them as pro 
fane entertainments. 



328 I KOPOSAL AM) ESPOUSAL. 

Other clergymen denounce the craze with more or less vehe 
mence : the only advocates it has being the ministers who tied the 
impersonators of Yimi-Yuui and Nanki-1 oo" 



A TWICK-\YKI)I)KD PAIR. 

Not a little surprise has been created by the news of the elope 
ment of Miss Belle M -- , daughter of Mr. Edward M -- . The 
family arc well know to many in London. The young lady had 
for some time past been engaged to the gentleman who is now her 
husband, Mr. A. Willard F -- , who spent last Sunday in the city. 
lie being very anxious for an early marriage, urged Miss M 
to obtain her parents consent to an immediate union, and accom 
pany him home. Me was especially anxious to be married at once 
as it would probably be man}- months before he could again secure 
leave of absence. Knowing that her parents would raise objections 
to such a summary proceeding, although they were perfectly satis 
fied with her choice, Miss M - decided to accompany her af 
fianced to Detroit, without their approval, leaving a note for her 
father, telling him the reason of her departure. The young couple 
left on the afternoon train, and on their arrival in Detroit were at 
once united at the office of a justice of the peace. Mr. M - left 
on the first train after receiving the note, and on finding his daugh 
ter, was informed of the marriage. As Mr. M did not like the 
idea of a marriage unless solemnized by a minister of the gospel, 
the young couple acceded to his wish, and were remarried on Tues 
day in Grand Rapids by Rev. Sanficld Cobb, Presbyterian minis 
ter. London Advertiser. 



EXPENSIVE WEDDINGS.. 

In India, and in the great cities of Central Asia, the expenses 
of a wedding are very great, and consequently some parents excuse 



ESPOUSAL. 329 

themselves in disposing of their daughter on the score of expense 
the difficulty they find in defraying the expenses of the wedding. 
The unnecessary expenses of their marriage ceremonies, the din 
ners, the music, and the marriage presents, often hamper a family 
through life. Parents, however poor, think it absolutely necessary 
to celebrate the marriage of their daughters at a great expense. 

For example, a munshs, or clerk, receiving the modest salary of 
thirty shillings a month, will spend a hundred pounds upon his 
daughter s wedding, especially if she should be fortunate enough to 
secure the hand of a husband in a nobler or better-born family 
than his own. The dearly-loved customs cannot be passed over. 
And if parents find it impossible to meet the pecuniary demands 
of the marriage ceremonies, the needless parade of music, the use 
less articles of finery for the girl s person, and the marriage portion 
in goods and chattels the girl has no alternative but to remain 
single all the days of her life. 

There are many daughters in high-born but needy families in 
this position. It is this difficulty that in darker days induced Mo 
hammedan villages to follow the example of the Rajputs and to 
destroy their female children at their birth. 

It is related by Mrs. Meer Hason Ali, an English lady who 
married a Mohammedan gentleman in Luckno\v some fifty years 
ago, that Nawab Asoof ud Dowlah, hearing with horror of the fre 
quent occurrence of female infanticide amongst poor villagers, issued 
a proclamation to his subjects in Oude, commanding them to de 
sist from this barbarous custom, and as an inducement to the wicked 
parents to preserve their female offspring alive, offered grants of 
land to every female as a marriage portion. 

Even in the present day the birth of a daughter casts a tempor 
ary gloom over a Moslem family, whilst the birth of a boy is a 



33 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

season of rejoicing. Some say it is more honorable to have sons 
than daughters, but others believe that it is the expense and trouble 
of settling the daughters that is the real cause of this unnatural 
feeling. Tlic Leisure Hour. 



"AND THEY MADE LIGHT OE IT." 

Ye sons of frivolity, 
Daughters of jollity 
That sport in low fashion, 
Till play becomes passion, 
With things esteemed holy, 
Your faith grown to folly ; 
.Adepts in mere vanities, 
Accomplished inanities : 
Who deem it a merit 
To quench the good Spirit. 
Your heaven in laughter, 
While hell follows after ; 
Alas ! for this lightness 
(Sure bane of uprightness") 
Of sin s rising leaven, 
It swells up to heaven, 
And braves the Creator 
In dispute which is greater. 
With Satan consorting, 
In evil disporting ; 
Unheeding, unshaming, 
It meets judgment s flaming 
And knoweth no turning 
Till plunged in the burning. 







THE MARRIAGE BOND. 




HE bond of wedlock is the closest of all bonds. It ex 
cels, but dissolves none. This leaving- of the parents 
loseth not the duty which the law lays on the child. 
Rachel, though married to Jacob, yet prayeth pardon 
for her duty of Laban her father. She did it not ; but in 
praying pardon she acknowledged it. Joseph did it ; 
though in power next to the king, yet did he reverence his father 
even with his face down to the ground. Not in case alone of rcv- 
ence, but also of relief, obedience, protection, and whatsoever duty 
is comprised besides within that general term of honor. But still 
with this proviso, that the duties to be done by the child unto the 
parent disturb not the conjunction between the married couple. 
They must give place to this, as both the straighter bond and the 
more ancient. The decalogue is younger than this institution. Hus 
band and wife were before child and parent. Sinai must yield to 
Paradise. That which God bids doth dispense with, that which 
Moses bids. Or say that God bids both ; Moses was but God s 
mouth. God commands not contraries. The one includes the 
tacit acception of the other. That abrogates not this. Say the 
most you can against it, that God speaks not preceptive, but per 
missive only ; yet so it is an indulgence. The latter is the law ; 
and a man is tied to that. But wedlock hath a privilege, and the 

331 



33 2 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

married man by it may leave both father and mother, and cleave 
unto his wife. 

Whether this describes the marriage bond or defines the mar 
riage duties, I will not say. Let it be the first. Christ hath but 
called it a conjunction ; it is more. Conjunction is sometimes of 
things remote. The sun and moon are far asunder, even in their 
conjunction. Saint Paul s term hath more emphasis, and the evan 
gelists have it, too ; tis an agglutination. Glue joins two bodies as 
but one. My text s term is significant : can things be closer than 
cleave together. But Saint Paul s term is more pregnant. Glue 
not only closeth, but fastens, too ; fastens so firmly that the bodies 
joined together will rather rend in the whole than sever in the 
joint. The bond of marriage is indissoluble. Of two things glued 
together, the one will pull away with a piece from the other rather 
than twill part from it. See we it not in this very subject? Death 
offers violence to this bond, and will dissolve it. The man and 
wife must yield. They must, but will not. Death sunders them 
by force ; but how? The one pulls away with it a part from the 
other, and that part is the heart. The corpse of the dead carries 
away with it even the soul of the survivor. Not the soul only, but 
the body too, sometimes. Doth not one month, one week, some 
times one day, bury both wife and husband ? Not in contagious 
times (then tis no marvel), but merely through the tenacity of this 
glue, the bond of wedlock ; it hath so soldered their souls together 
that the man will say of the woman, as Jacob did of Joseph, 
"Surely I will go down into the grave unto my wife sorrowing." 

So straight, so firm is the bond of marriage, that not only not 
Christ s term expresses it, a conjunction, to be joined together ;but 
not my text s term either, an adhesion, to cleave together ; no, nor 
yet that of Saint Paul s, an agglutination, to be glued together. 
Glue makes two things as one, quasi utunn ; but marriage makes 
two merely one ; the words of my text, " And they twain shall be 



THE MARRIAGE r.ONL). 333 

one flesh," meant not in the children of their bodies, that the parents 
shall be one in them, as the Greek fathers mostly construe it, moved 
by the phrase, in carneui umnn. Christ hath removed that scruple, 
ima caro funt, they are one flesh. The wife and husband, though 
they never have child, or if they have, yet before they have, yea, 
the very instant of the marriage, saith our Saviour, they are no 
longer two, but even then are one flesh. And therefore Saint Paul 
calls the woman s flesh, her husbands, and a man s wife, himself. 
And this not religion only teacheth, but law, too ; which reputeth 
the wife and husband but one person. As when God formed Eve 
of Adam, he made one two ; so when he brought her to Adam he 
made two one. Extract Jrom a wedding sermon by Richard Clarke, 
Archbishop of Canterbury, (1637.) 



ANCIENT MARRIAGE BOND. 

We come unto the solemn ceremonies used by the 
Romans in their marriages. We will first shew the manner of their 
contracts, when each did promise the other to live as man and wife. 
Now the manner of contracting was commonly thus : They did, for 
the greater security, write down the form of the contract upon tables 
of record, as appeareth by Juvenal, Sat. 6. 

These tables were also sealed with the signets of certain wit 
nesses there present, who were termed, from their act of sealing, 
Signatures. Moreover, before they would begin the ceremonies of 
their contract, the man procured a soothsayer, and the woman an 
other, with whom first they would consult. The token or sign 
which these soothsayer in the time of observing accounted most 
fortunate was a crow. 

The man also gave, in token of good will, a ring unto the woman, 
which she was to wear upon the next finger unto the little finger of 



334 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

the left hand, because unto that finger alone proceeded a certain 
artery from the heart. 

Again, because of the good success that Romulus and his fol 
lowers had in the violent taking away of the Sabine women, they 
continued a custom that the man should come and take away his 
wife by a seeming violence from the lap or bosom of her mother or 
the next of kin. 

She being thus taken away, her husband did dissever and divide 
the hair of her head with the top of a spear, wherewith some fencer 
formerly had been killed, which ceremony did betoken that nothing 
should dis-join them but such a spear, or such like violence." 



MARRIAGE DOWRY. 

At the time of the marriage, also, the man gave his wife a 
dowry-bill, which the scrivener wrote, and the bridegroom paid for, 
whereby he endowed his spouse, if she were a virgin, with two hun 
dred denicrs (that is fifty shekels) ; and if she had been married be 
fore, with an hundried deniers (that is twenty-five shekels), and this 
was called the root or principal of the dowery. The dowery might 
not be less, but more, so much as he would, though it were to a 
talent of gold. There is mention of a contract between Tobias and 
Sara, and that was performed not by a scrivener, but by Ragnel, 
the woman s father ; where, we may observe, that before the writing 
of this bill, there was a giving of the woman unto her husband. 
The form of words there used is : " Behold, take her after the law 
of Moses." Tobit vii. 16. 

A copy of this dowery-bill is taken by Bertram out of the Baby 
lon Talmud. The words thereof are thus : " Upon the sixth day 
of the week, the fourth of the month, in the year five thousand, two 
hundred and fifty-four of the creation of the world, according to 



THE MARRIAGE BOND. 335 

the computation which we use here at - , a city which is situate 
on the sea-shore : the bride-groom, Rabbi Moses, the son of Rabbi 
Jehuda, said unto the bride-wife Clarona, the daughter of Rabbi 
David, the son of Rabbi Moses, a citizen of Lisbon : Be unto me a 
wife according to the law of Moses and Israel, and I, according to 
the word of God, will worship, honor, maintain and govern thee 
according to the manner of the husbands among the Jews, which 
do worship, honor, maintain and govern their wives faithfully ; I 
also do bestow upon thcc the dowery of thy virginity, two hundred 
deniers in silver, which belong unto thcc by the law, and moreover 
thy food, thy apparel, and sufficient necessaries, as likewise the 
knowledge of thee according to the custom of the whole earth. 
Thus Clarona the virgin rested, and became a wile to Rabbi Moses 
the son of Jehuda, the bridegroom. 



JEWISH MARRLvGe, SONG. 

The rites and ceremonies of their marriage were performed in 
an assembly of ten men at least, with blessings and thanksgivings 
unto God, whence the house itself was called the house of praise, 
and their marriage song, the song of thanksgiving, the sum whereof 
is this : The chief of the bridemen takcth a cup and blesseth it, 
" Blessed art Thou, O Lord, our God, the king of the world, which 
createth the fruit of the vine." Afterward he saith : " Blessed be 
the Lord our God, the King of the world, who hath created man 
after His own image, according to the image of His own likeness, 
and hath thereby prepared unto Himself an everlasting building. 
Blessed be Thou, O Lord, who hath created him." Then followeth 
again : " Blessed art Thou, O Lord our God, who hath created joy 
and gladness, the bridegroom and the bride, charity and brotherly 
love, rejoicing, and pleasure, peace and society. I beseech Thee O, 
Lord, let there be suddenly heard in the cities of Judah, and the 



PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

streets of Jerusalem, the voice of joy and gladness, the voice of the 
bridegroom and the bride, the voice of exaltation in the bride- 
chamber sweeter than any feasts, and children sweeter than the 
sweetness of a song." And this being ended, he drinkcth to the 
married couple. 

NUPTIALS. 

The marriage bond is sometimes spoken of as the nuptials, from 
nuptie, which - tie" comes from a word signifying "a covering ;" 
because the virgins, when they came to their husbands, for modesty 
and shamefacedncss, covered their faces, even as Rebckah, on meet 
ing Isaac, cast a veil over her face ; and Potter, in his Antiquities, 
tells us that the bride was usually brought to her husband with a 
yellow covering or veil, called the nuptie, over her face, and was 
conducted to his house with five torches, signifying thereby the 
need which married persons have of five gods or goddesses, /. e 
Jupiter, Juno, Venus, Suadela, and Diana. 



A WEDDED JUDGMENT, OR THE P.OND OE INIQUITY. 

Paul speaks of being bound together with his yoke fellows in 
the Lord ; but there are some, alas ! that are bound together in the 
devil. The worst judgment that can bcfal an evil man is to marry 
a woman as wicked as himself; as witness Ahab and Jezebel. And 
well saith the Apocrypha, " A wicked woman is given as a portion 
to a wicked man." " If ye walk contrary to me, I also will walk- 
contrary to you," saith the Almighty ; and this is often done, even 
at the hymeneal altar, where God curseth a wicked man s blessings 
in the very gift of his wife. And thus beginning under the curse r 
they continue under it, and live a cursed life and die a cursed death 
together a brord of the ungodly, a generation of vipers. 









THE WEDDING SHOE. 

"THE HOUSE OF HIM THAT HATH HIS SHOE LOOSED." 




F BRETHREN dwell together, and one of them die, 
and have no child, the wife of the dead shall not marry 
without unto a stranger ; her husbands brother shall 
take her to him to wife, and perform the duties of an 
husband s brother unto her. 

And it shall be that the first-born which she beareth 
shall succeed in the name of his brother which is dead, that his 
name be not put out of Israel. 

And if the man like not to take his brother s wife, then let his 
brother s wife go up to the gate unto the elders, and say, My hus 
band s brother refuseth to raise up unto his brother a name in 
Israel, he will not perform the duty of my husband s brother. 

Then the elders of this city shall call him, and speak unto him : 
and if he stand to it, and say, I like not to take her ; 

Then shall his brother s wife come unto him in the presence of 
the elders, and loose his shoe from off his foot, and spit in his face, 
and shall answer and say. So shall it be done unto the man that 
will not build up his brother s house. 

And his name shall be called in Israel the house of him that 
hath his shoe loosed. Bible. 

22* 337 



338 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

The fair Jewess spat in his face, 

Who denied her the marriage relation 

When his brother had left her embrace, 
And died without seed in the nation. 

Down-stooping, she loosed off his shoe, 
Symbolic of broken dominion ! 

As unworthy the name of a Jew, 
A dastard in public opinion. 



In Turkey, the bridegroom after marriage is ch?scd by the 
guests, who administer blows by way of adieus, or pelt him with 
slippers. Thirty Years in t/ic Hainn. 

THE SHOE A SYMISOL OF AUTHORITY. 

Mr. Urquhart tells us that being at a Jewish wedding, and 
standing beside the bridegroom, he observed that when the bride 
entered, he stooped down as he crossed the threshold, drew off his 
shoe, and struck her with the heel on the nape of the neck." 



In Anglo-Saxon marriages, the father delivered the bride s 
shoe to the bridegroom, who touched her with it on the head to 
show his authority. Breicer 



Mr. Robert s, when travelling in the East, observed that 
an affectionate widow never parts with her husband s shoes- 
They are placed near her when she sleeps ; she kisses them and 
puts her head upon them ; and nearly every time after bathing she 
goes to look at them. They are a perpetual memento to her of 
the protection she has lost. 



THE WEDDING SHOE. 339 

Throwing the wedding- shoe over the head of the bride as she 
comes from the altar is still a custom in some parts of England, 

~Waa* - 4 - .. -- 9 



WHERE THE SHOE PINCHES. 

No one knuws where the shoe pinches but he that puts it on. 
Old Saying. 

I wot weel where my ain shoe binds. Scottish Proverb. 

"The authorship of this proverb is commonly ascribed to 
^Emilius Paulus ; but the story told by Plutarch leaves it doubtful 
whether /Emilius used a known illustration or invented one. The 
relations of his wife remonstrated with him on his determination to 
repudiate her, she being an honorable matron, against whom no 
fault could be alleged. ^Emilius admitted the lady s worth ; but 
pointing to one of his shoes, he asked the remonstrants what they 
thought of it. They thought it a handsome and well-fitting shoe. 
" But none of you," he rejoined, " can tell where it pinches me." 

THE CHARM OF THE HORSE-SHOE 

But the shoe around which superstition "rages" the most incon 
tinently is not the common shoe of the cordwainer, be it old or new, 
whether the ornamental shoe of the Paris shop window, or the "old 
shoes and clouted " picked up from the shuns and gutters and used 
with a decoction of sugar in the distillation of rum in New York 
city ; but the shoe alike of the parlor and the stable, of bright bric- 
a-brac and neglected outhouse, of our modern needlework and oi 
ancient sculpture (for we found the figure thereof four times re- 
oeated on a gravestone in Dryburgh Abbey, Scotland), 

And only high heaven knows what we should do r 
If we lost the bright charm of the gilded horse-shoe. 



f&f^&^ff^ 

i\ai^ 






THE HONEYMOON. 

OR THE FIRST MO(o)NTII AFTER MARRIAGE. 



I I IE first month after marriage was called "The Honey- 
^^* moon," from the practice of the ancient Teutons of drink- 
^f> in honey-wine (Hydromel) for thirty days after mar- 
jp riage. Attila, the Hun, indulged so freely in hydromel 

at his wedding feast that he died. 

Hast thou found honey, eat so much as is good for thce, lest 
thou be full and vomit therewith. Solomon. 

" A sentimental bride put the following question to her mother 
on the eve of her wedding : How long does the so-called honey 
moon last ? Her practical mamma replied : Till you ask your 
husband for money. " 

A bee was the symbol of the Egyptian kings. The honey was 
the reward they gave the meritorious ; the sting the punishment of 
the unworthy. 

The bees of Hymettus made the most celebrated honey : and 
the etymological relation of Hymen to Hymettus is patent to all. 

" It was the custom of some heathen priests of old, in the ser 
vice of their Gods, to wash or dip their tongues in honey ; an excel 
lent emblem to teach us how our tongues must be purified, and 
sanctified and seasoned with the word." 

340 



THE HONEYMOON. 34! 

Because of the sweetness of a man s lips the king shall be his 
1 rien cl . Proverbs. 

The fair Servians held a lump of sugar between their teeth 
when getting married, to show that their conversation must be 
sweet and pleasant. 

The Athenian law compelled the married parties on retiring to 
eat a quince together for the same reason. 

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to you own husbands ; that 
if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won 
by the conversation of their wives. 

While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 
Scripture. 

The Andamanese spend the honeymoon at home. 



THE HONEYMOON PLEASANT IN ITS ASSOCIATIONS. 

From the sentence, " Be attentive at the doors of the law," 
Rabbi Meir declared that every scholar should have at least three 
teachers, and that the word " doors " possesses a peculiar idea or 
meaning. For instance, a person in passing the door of the house 
in which he passed his honeymoon, or the door of a hall of justice 
in which he has been convicted or acquitted, or the door of a house 
in which he has sinned, what different thoughts, feelings, and recol 
lections will be awakened in him. Talmud. 

Tis said of the spouse, in Solomon s song, 
That honey and milk are under her tongue ; 
For the church s lips drop as a sweet honey comb, 
The charm of the soul and the music of home. 





HUSBANDS AND WIVES. 



jf 

HE derivation of these , names seems to be as follows : 

Husband House-band. Wive Weaver. The man 
was called husband or house-band because he con 
nected the family and kept it together. The woman 
was called wife, or the weaver, because she did the spinning 
or weaving. 

The husband is the head of the wife, inasmuch as he is the head 
of the household, though she is associated with him, and as such he 
is entitled to the respect and affection of all. 

The head is he, upholding all, 

The joints and bands supporting ; 
And she, th enfolding sinews small, 

With kindly head consorting. 

In Bible times a man was called husband on his betrothal to a 
maiden, so sacred was the engagement considered. See Matthew 
i. 16, where Joseph is called the husband of Mary before marriage, 

There are, we opine, no names in the Hebrew language which 
is doubtless the oldest tongue of all for such social nondescripts as 
" flirts " and " coquets." They were the parasitical aftergrowth of 
a more Uvity-sa\ age than even Leviticus itself. 

Rabbi Jose, says the Talmud, never called his spouse "wife," but 
44 home," for she indeed made his home. 

34! 




"Hail! pretty bud 
Offflp.sh and blood. 



HUSBANDS AND WIVES. 343 

Among the lonians of Asia, the woman as we arc informed by 
Herodotus, did not share the table of her husband ; she dared not 
call him by his name, but addressed him with the title of lord, and 
lived secluded in the interior of the house ; on this model the most 
important relations between man and wife had been also regulated 
at Athens. 

But among the Dorians of Sparta, the wife was honored by her 
husband with the title of Despoina, though she lived in the interior. 
of the house, like the Ionian female. Nay, so strange did the im 
portance which the Lacedaemonian women enjoyed, and the influ 
ence which they exercised as tho managers of their household and 
mothers of families, appear to the other Greeks, at a time when the 
prevalence of Athenian manners prevented a clue consideration for 
national customs, that Aristotle actually supposed Lycurgus to have 
attempted, but without success, to regulate the life of Women, as he 
had that of the men ; and the Spartans were frequently censured 
for submitting to the yoke of their wives. Antlun. 



" A prudent wife is from the Lord," saith Solomon, and woe to 
his happiness who spurns a gift of God. 

He that getteth a wife, gctteth a good thing, and obtaincth 
favor of the Lord. Proverbs, 



Good wives are called " discreet, chaste, keepers at home." &c. 
Keepers at home are usually keepers of home, /. e. active occupants 
of the chosen place, even as a man is said to be a " keeper of a vine 
yard," which means vastly more than simply guarding the inclosure 
from unlawful intrusion of man and beast. But as Adam, the first 
husband and husbandman, was put, after his creation, into the gar 
den of Eden " to dress and to keep it," and to have it produce and 



344 PROPOSAL AND. ESPOUSAL. 

yield a sumptuous abundance ; so these are to keep their own 
house, even as a deacon of the church is enjoined to rule his own 
house. 



" By the addition of one letter, a different Greek letter is given 
in some of the ancient MSS., which gives the meaning " workers at 
home." Eisner, however, thinks the former word includes both 
ideas ; such women "take care of things belonging to the house and 
keep them, they look after domestic affairs with prudence and care." 
The English housewife, in its old significance, has been deemed 
closely equivalent to the the Greek oikonrous" 



That they teach their young women to be sober, to love their 
husbands, to love their children. 

To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their 
husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Bi 



Til?: MUTTAL DUTIES OF HUSBANDS AND WIVES. 

That man doth not exercise himself unto Godliness as a hus 
band that loves not his wife without dissimulation ; or doth not, as 
as much as in him lies, promote her spiritual and everlasting wel 
fare ; that doth not care for dwelling with her, nor thinks it his 
duty to entreat the light of God s countenance for her, or join in 
prayer with her ; that is intemperate in his wedlock, or thinks that 
the strict alliance between him and her warrants every immodest, 
extravagant and inordinate pleasure and desire, or that no decorum 
is to be observed in that estate ; that hath no care of her health, 
wealth and credit, or loves her more for her money and beauty than 
her virtue ; that gives her reproachful language, and reproves her 



HUSBANDS AND WIVES. 345 

not with tenderness and compassion if her errors deserve reprehen 
sion ; that doth not instruct her so far as he is able, or doth not 
help her to bear the burden of the family ; that is a stranger to all 
pity, and cares not what becomes of her so himself can but enjoy 
health and prosperity ; whose carriage to her is churlish, and h s 
cxpresssions to her dipped in gall and vinegar ; that exposes her 
natural defects before company, and aggravates her neglects, which 
should be qualified with softer constructions ; that, instead of com 
forting her, slights her, and is so far from healing her wounds that 
he doth what he can to make them wider ; that doth not allow her 
convenient food and raiment, and lets her want those necessary 
supplies which the law of nations binds him to ; that doth not pro 
tect her when she is in danger, nor redeem her from the malice and 
cruelty of those that use all means to disparage her ; that doth not 
trust her with the affairs of the family, if she be able to manage 
them, or conceals from her the things which appertain to their com 
mon safety ; that goes beyond the bounds of the authority God 
hath given him over her, and, instead of being her head, makes him 
self a tyrant and her a slave ; that doth not yield unto her reason 
able requests, and by his good example encourage her to piety, 
gravity, chanty and discretion ; that despises her good counsel, and 
will be sooner pursuaded by a stranger or idle companion, than by 
her that lies in his bosom ; that laughs at her devotion, and takes 
pains to make her weary of her seriousness; that takes it ill she 
should obey God more than him, and thinks nothing so tedious as 
her frequent exhorting of him to universal conscientiousness. Such 
a man for certain doth not exercise himself unto Godliness, but 
rather strives to work himself out of the obligations to it, and ex 
cises himself unto hardness of heart and impenitence. 

" And, indeed, the same may be said of the woman that doth 
not discharge the duty of a wife, if married to a husband. If her 
religion deserve this name of exercising herself unto Godliness, her 
care must be, according to the Aoostle s rule, to reverence 






346 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

her husband. After him must be her desire, it must be her glory 
to submit to him in the fear of God. In her mind she must esteem 
and value him as the image and glory of the great Creator. To 
love him must become natural to her ; and to tend him, though 
ever so weak and calamitous, must be one great part of her care. 
Her conversation must be chaste, and the value she hath for him 
must appear in her words and actions. She must fear him as her 
master, and yet nothing must cause that fear but affection. She 
must deny herself for him, and in things indifferent his will must 
be her rule to go by. Her submission must be hearty, and it must 
not be any sinister respect, but conscience, that must produce it. 
She must waive her privileges that birth and breeding have given 
her, and honor him according to the law of him that joined them. 
Her study must be to make his life comfortable, and she must con 
trive soft expressions to engage his inclinations. Her language to 
him must be mild and peaceable, and her behavior such as becomes 
a woman that professes Godliness. Her conversation must be the 
same in his absence that it is in his presence ; and she must give 
him such demonstration of her kindness that his heart may confide 
in her. To get a meek and quiet spirit must not be the least part 
of her prayer, and indolence and haughtiness of spirit she must 
shun as the pestilence. She must be a stranger to brawling, and 
her words must be weighed in a balance. She must flee idleness as 
an enemy, and contrive how to advance her husband s interest with 
honesty. She must encourage her servants to their labor, and 
guide them by her eye. Her feet must not be much in the streets, 
and she must remember it was an answer fit to be given to an 
angel, that Sarah was in her tent. Her cars must be open to her 
husband s counsel, and she must not think much of his reproof, 
and reprehension. The entertainment she gives him, must be with 
a cheerful countenance, and crossness of humor must be banished 
from her temper." 



^^^^^^^^ 

b ^<Hfct*rtfcl^^^*4M^^^^ -^ 




WRONG BEGINNINGS IN MARRIED LIFE. 



first word of this heading should make us shudder, 
and the second should increase the tremor, for what is 
so dreadful as wrong? and what so disastrous as a 
wrong beginning? determining a faulty course all the 
way through. Man began wrong in Eden, and behold 
the dire result. A little turn to the right 01; left eve i the slightest 
divergence from a straight course at the first, what a world of dif 
ference it makes in the end ? See those two railway trains leaving 
the depot. For a time they run parallel with each other, but wait till 
they come at the switches and enter on the declining curves and 
then see how far apart they sever and drive wide leagues asunder. 
There are switches all along in life to run us off from the " Main 
Line " of righteousness, and prevent an even and equitable course, 
and to bring us to a "dead lock" on the side line of vanity, vexa 
tion and confusion. Let us then pray, and especially when enter 
ing upon new and important relations, that we may not be led into, 
but away from, temptation, and delivered from evil or the evil one. 

In riding along on the cars once upon a time, \vc hoard the 
conductor call out "Forks." On looking out of the car window, 
we found the place took its name from a "fork" in the road; and 
we thought the cry might very appropriately be raised at a thous 
and points in domestic life, " Forks !" For we arc ever coining " iit 



317 



34$ PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

a place where two roads meet," and continually called upon to 
decide which we shall take, and upon that choice (often, too, made 
suddenly) depends the marring or making of our wedded career. 
Beware of the cross roads. Temptation stands like a wily guide at 
the head of every way to direct us whither we should not go ; even 
as the Serpent met Eve under the forbidden tree, and as Satan 
stood at Joshua s right hand to resist him. 

Be well aware, 
Each wedded pair, 
How ye begin, 
Nor start in sin. 

With grace your guide, 
In love abide ; 
Be God your stay, 
Now and alway. 



\\ c have heard of a prominent member of a church in Kingston, 
N. Y., who the other Sunday went early to church, and, in a fit of ab 
straction, took a seat in the pew just ahead of his own. The next 
person that came in, knowing that his pew was the one ahead of 
the prominent member s, also sat in the wrong pew. Every one 
that came in afterwards pursued a similar line of argument, and, in 
consequence, that morning everybody on that side of the church 
was in the wrong pew. The man who occupied the front seat 
thought " his pew" didn t look natural, but as Brother B. was just 
behind him, it wasn t possible he himself could be mistaken." 



A certain lady tells us how she once learnt a lesson in the barn- 
She says : " It was a frosty morning. I was looking out 
of a window into the barnyard, where a great many cows, oxen, 



WRONG BEGINNINGS. 349 

and horses were waiting to be watered. For a while they all stood 
very quiet and still. Presently one of the cows, in attempting to 
turn around, happened to hit her next neighbor. In a moment 
this cow kicked and hit her neighbour. She passed on the kick 
and the hit to the next. And directly the whole herd were kicking 
and hitting each other with great fury. I said to myself, See what 
comes ot kicking when you are hit. " 

The following Persian fable contains an excellent hint, which 
may be taken to advantage in more ways than one : 

A holy dervise once a crystal cup, 
Owned by the Prophet, carefully took up, 
When from some sudden impulse, turning round- 
It fell, and lay in fragments on the ground. 

A son (that moment blessed, and prayed from harm) 

Upon the threshold fell and broke his arm ; 

A caravan to Mecca passing by, 

The holy dervise, with kind words, drew nigh. 

And stroked a sacred camel, who, as quick 
As thought, returned his kindness with a kick ! 
Grieved and amazed he for a moment stands, 
Then cries : " This day began with unwashed hands !" 

We hasten forth some morning to the world, 
And find our cup of joy to fragments hurled ; 
Some looked for pleasure turned to bitter woe, 
Some oroffered kindness answered with a blow. 

We, baffled, like the dervise, questioning, stare, 
Then cry, This day began without a prayer !" 

Mrs. J. P. Ballard. 



350 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

The beginning of strife is as the letting out of water, therefore 
leave off contention before it be meddled with. Solomon. 



"DRIVE GENTLY OVER THE STONES." 

This piece of advice, which is frequently given to inexperienced 
whips, may be respectfully suggested to the newly-married. There 
are stony places on the road to happiness, which, if not carefully 
driven over, may upset the domestic coach. The first rock ahead 
which should be marked "dangerous" is the first year of married 
life. Here, especially, it is the first step that costs ; as a rule, the 
first year cither mars or makes a marriage. During this period 
errors may be committed which will cast a shadow over every year 
that follows. 

On awakening suddenly from sleep we feel put out and rather 
cross. May not a young husband and wife experience feelings not 
entirely different when they awake to reality from the dreams of 
courtship and the fascination of the honeymoon ? Everything must 
once more be contemplated after the ordinary manner of the world, 
once more with subdued feelings spoken of, considered and settled. 
For the first time, husband and wife see each other as they actually 
are. Each brings certain peculiarities into the married state, to 
which the other has to grow accustomed. They have now to live 
no longer for themselves, but for each other, and the lesson is not 
learned in a moment. In all things indifferent the husband and 
wife must be willing to yield, however new it may be to them 
however different from what they themselves thought. Self must 
be sacrificed in order thereby to gain the help of another beloved 
existence. A lady once asked Dr. Johnson how, in his dictionary, 
he came to define pastern the knee of a horse ; he immediately an 
swered, " Ignorance, madam, pure ignorance." This is the simple 
explanation of many an accident that takes place at the commence- 



WRONG BEGINNINGS. 351 

men t of the matrimonial journey. The young people have not 
yet learned the dangerous places of the road, and, as a consequence, 
they drive carelessly over them. The Quiver. 



IIOW WINE BECOMES SOUR. 

Newly-married people are generally warned by their more ex 
perienced elders to beware of their first dispute ; and certainly a 
want of self-restraint mars home life more than anything else. Still 
" it s hardly in a body s power to keep at times from being sour," 
and we must not attach undue importance to the little tiffs of early 
married life. Generally speaking, there is not much fault on cither 
side. Some men are inclined to be cross in the early morning, or 
on returning home in the evening, because their minds arc intent 
on unpalatable items. in the day s business. Forewarned is fore 
armed ; the fact that it is so should be duly recognized, and nothing 
done to ruffle or annoy them. It is a great mistake for a man, in 
his early married life, to be overdone with domesticity. The young 
wife, if she is wise, does not insist on her husband giving up his 
club, male friends, and all the interests of bachelorship. She pro 
bably, is quite content with his company alone, but she is aware 
that a man is apt to weary of the touj ours per drix. Appearances 
should not be disregarded in home life ; husbands attach much im 
portance to what others think of their wives and their homes. It 
is a part of the science of home life to present a good face to the 
world ; it argues bad housekeeping to be seen at a disadvantage. 
At the same time the young wife must never dwindle down into 
a mere housekeeper and head nurse, with a spice of the dressmaker. 
She must keep her place as a companion. 

A good wife is a priceless treasure ; and a husband is none tho 
worse that he is made to realize she is a lady, and to be treated as 
such. The Quiver. 



35 2 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

HARD BEGINNINGS. 

It has passed into a proverb, that "all things arc hard at the 
beginning;" but if the beginning be good, "the latter end shall 
greatly increase " for, in the language of " Plantation Philosophy," 

" It peers dat all through life de hardest thing to do is de bes 
arter it am done. It takes the harder sorter work ter split er knotty 
niece o wood, but arter it is split it makes de bes fire." 

And we have oftentimes observed the truth of the following 

o 

from the same quaint, philosophical pen : 

" De wildes man sometimes becomes de quietest citizen. Dar 
ain t nothin more skittish then a young deer, but once ketch him 
an he is de easies thing in de worl ter tame." 



THE TWO DOMESTIC HEARS. 

It has been well said that every house should have two bears in 
it bear and forbear. These will prevent the intrusion of all other 
bears that might otherwise molest and destroy family concord. 



NEVER QUARREL. 

Husbands and wives ! husbands and wives! 

As you value the peace and content of your lives, 

Avoid, as a pest, the beginning of sin, 

And each be the first, not the last, to "give in." 

O ! death to all concord, suicidal strife ! 
Where quarrels obtain betwixt husband and wife ; 
And hands that were joined in the holiest rite, 
Unclasp in defiance half challenge to fight. 

What a loser is he in such conflict who wins 
Tis the bootless dispute of the Siamese twins ; 



WRONG BEGINNINGS. 353 

Fast bound by integument nothing can sever, 
And loving, or loathing, still cleaving forever. 

O, foolish the man, a mere human elf! 
Who refuses to nourish and cherish himself; 
Who spurns his own flesh, but increases his pains, 
Augmenting his loss by the score of his gains. 



A PLEASANT QUARREL. 

The following remarkable quarrel, between two betrothed per 
sons, may furnish a suggestion to the newly married pair to never 
let their disputes exceed the same in acrimony, and then " the more 
the better " : 

" Mary," asked the young lady s mother at breakfast, " what 
was the matter with you and Harry in the parlor last evening ?" 

" Why, mamma? What?" inquired the daughter, demurely. 

"Why you lowered and quarrelled for half an hour like a pair 
of pickpockets." 

" Oh," she replied, remembering the circumstances, " I Tarry 
wanted me to take the big chair, and I wanted him to take it be 
cause he was company, you know." 

" How did you settle it finally ?" 

" Well, mamma, we we we compromised, and both of us 
took it. :> 

A FOOISH QUARREL. 

The shepherd came down from the Crcffcl steep, 

For the weather was cold and rough ; 
" Gudewife," said he, " I have faulded the sheep 
And I m hungry and cold enough. 



354 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

But, oh, its a pleasure, when duty s done, 

With your canny wee wife to bide ;" 
"Gudcman, ye ken that your dinner is won, 
And this is your ain fireside. 

There is aitmcal cake and dish of broth, 

And there isna a better thing." 
"There s naebody asks a better, in troth 

The dish is a dish for a king. 
Gic me barley broth and a bit of cake, 

It will always for me suffice." 
"I dinna see how such a slip ye make, 
The broth isna barley its rice /" 

"I say it s barley." " I say its not, 

And I made it and ought to ken ; 
But I ll haud me tongue, I had most forgot 

It s nonsense to reason wi men." 
"Never mind, gudewife, for the broth is good 

// is barley, let that suffice." 
Gudeman, I will hae this thing understood, 

It is not barley, Its rice !" 

So the quarrel grew on this simple plea, 

And grew hotter from day to day, 
Till each in the other no good could see, 

And the shepherd went far away. 
For tis trifles that mar our Love and Life, 

But trifles beyond all price ; 
And little cares then the sorrowing wife 

If the broth were barley or rice. 

And far away in the Indian land, 
Remorse in his heart had her will ; 



WRONG BEGINNINGS. 355 

He thought of the day Jean gave him her hand, 

He thought of his cot on the hill ; 
He thought of the good Scotch broth and cake, 

(Ah, me ! these were things beyond price,) 
And said, " If Jean only broth could make, 

I d be willing to call it rice 

So back he went after many years, 

Went back to his wife with a kiss ; 
And she kissed him again through happy tears, 

And said in her humble bliss, 
"Gudeman, in your broth whatever you find, 

Whether barley, or rice, or peas, 
Just sup it wi me, we are both of one mind, 

You may call it whatever you please !" 

They learned to forbear, they learned to agree, 

And were happy for love s sweet sake ; 
There wasn t such broth in the North Countree 

As Jean for her husband could make. 
But somehow to barley she always stuck ; 

She said " There s a differ in price, 
And rice never brought me aught but ill luck 

And sae I use barley not rice 1" 



When souls that should agree to will the same, 
To have one common object for their wishes, 
Look different ways, regardless of each other, 
Think what a train of wretchedness ensues ! Rowe. 



MUTUAL ACCOMMODATION. 

If thy wife is small, bend down to her and whisper in her ear. 
Talmud. 



PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

THE VALUE OF PATIENCE. 
11 Duke : 

What comfort do you find in being so calm ? 
Candida : 

That which green wounds receive from sovereign balm. 

Patience, my lord ! why, tis the soul of peace ; 

Of all the virtues tis the nearest kin to heaven : 

It makes men look like gods. The best of men 

That e er wore earth about him was a sufferer, 

A soft, meek, patient, humble, tranquil spirit 

The first true gentleman that ever breathed. 

The stock of patience, then, cannot be poor ; 

All it desires it has : what award more ? 

It is the greatest enemy to strife 

That can be, for it doth embrace all wrongs, 

And so chains up lawyers and women s tongues ; 

Tis the perpetual prisoner s liberty 

His walks and orchards ; tis the bondslave s freedom, 

And makes him seem proud of his iron chain, 

As though he wore it more for state than pain. 

It is the beggars music, and thus sings 

Although their bodies beg, they yet are kings. 

O, my dread liege ! it is the sap of bliss 

Bears us aloft, makes men and angels kiss ; 

And last of all, to end a household strife, 

It is the honey gainst a waspish wife." 



ALWAYS LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE. 

Do you ever play at making believe ? 

Tis the merriest play I know, 
With the power a magic spell to weave, 
However the wind may blow. 



WRONG BEGINNINGS. 357 

If you ve only a simple cotton gown, 

A little the worse for wear, 
Just make believe that in all the town 

There isn t a dress so fair. 

Instead of faded and scanty folds 

You may fancy its rustling silk, 
A warp that lustre of moonlight holds, 

And a woof that is white as milk. 

You may " make believe " with a bit of bread 

And a cup of w r ater poured, 
That you sit with case at a royal spread, 

Nor lack at the festal board. 

The people who " make believe " aright 

Shorten the longest day ; 
Brighten the gloomiest hours \vith light, 

And laugh their troubles away. 

It s always foolish to sigh and shirk ; 
If anything must be done, 

With an earnest purpose turn the work- 
To a " make believe " of fun. 

And if only you try this " make believe," 

The cheeriest play I know, 
You ll find that a magic spell twill weave 

However the wind may blow. 

Mary E Sangster, in Congregationalist. 







MANAGING HUSBANDS. 



ALL THE LABOR OF A MAN IS FOR HIS MOUTH." 



m 



,r 




HERE is nothing on earth fetches a man like a good 
dinner and a well dressed wife presiding. The hus- 
&S band who can look forward to such a state ot things 
every day of his life will never tire of home, and the 
wife who studies his comfort will have little difficulty in 
managing him according to her will. Men are gregarious 
animals, and will wander in spite of all allurements, but they are 
selfish enough to remain where they arc best treated, and by taking 
a little trouble for a year or two of married life, the years that fol 
low will, as a rule, find the husband always glad to go back to the 
pretty home where smiles await him and the dinner I spoke of. 
There are so many women who object to being " bossed," as they 
call it. My dear ladies, you can always be boss if you take the 
trouble. By giving in, you can get your own way, as you never 
would by fighting for it. And, after all, it is better to feel you respect 
your husband so much that to give in to him is not a difficulty. 

Nine men out of ten are manageable if you go the right way 
about it, and one great point is to act after marriage just as you 
did before. Argument and contradiction are vital enemies to mar- 

358 



MANAGING HUSBANDS. 359 

ried peace. Should you wish for anything particularly, don t insist 
upon it after refusal. Some women are persistent and ask : 
may I not ? Why don t you do as I tell you ?" and irritate the man. 
Rather bide your time and make an extra good dinner of his favor 
ite dishes, put a bow on of the color he likes, make home and your 
self sweeter than ever. You ll get it sure, even if you have to wait. 
Also when you want him to do any particular thing, which you 
know will be for his good, for heaven s sake do not say 
Rather drop a hint that you think so and so would be a good thing 
to do. Get him interested and then let the subject drop. I venture 
to say that in a short time that man will do precisely as you wished 
He will never permit you to think that he has traded the least on 
your common sense. San Francisco Xei^s Letter. 



We find that, physiologically, or in the construction of the hu 
man body, the stomach and heart lie in very close neighborhoo 
as though even nature herself would give the clue to the nearest way 
home, i. e. to the affections, and the following light couplet is not 
without weighty significance, which thus runs in lively measure : 
"The turnpike road to people s hearts, I find, 
Lies through their mouth, or I mistake mankind. 



COOKING HUSBANDS. 



A receipt for " cooking husbands " comes to us from a Women s 
Rights Convention, held in Michigan, which, notwithstanding 
flippancy, contains some wholesome truths. We take the following 
selections : 

" A good many husbands are spoiled by mismanagement. Some 
women let their husbands freeze by their carelessness and indiffer 
ence. Some keep them in a stew by irritating words and way* 



PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

others keep them in pickle all their lives. It cannot be supposed 
that any husband will be tender and good managed in this way, 
but they are really delicious when properly treated. In selecting 
\our husband you should not be guided by the silvery appearance 
as in buying mackerel, nor by the golden tint, as if you wanted 
salmon. Be sure to select him yourself, as tastes differ. Do not 
go to market for him, as the best are always brought to your door. 
See that the linen in which you wrap your husband is nicely washed 
and mended, with the required number of buttons and strings nice 
ly sewed on. Make a steady fire of love, neatness 
and cheerfulness. Set him as near to this as seems to agree 
with him. Add a little sugar in the form of what confectioners 
call kisses, but no vinegar or pepper on any account. A little 
spice improves them, but it must be used with judgment. Do not 
stick any sharp instrument into him to sec if he is becoming tender. 
You cannot fail to know when he is done." 

This cooking a husband may do very well as a fruitful topic of 
discussion for voluble beauties to descant upon ; but we would 
modestly suggest that the best way to prepare him is to cook well 
for him. It may be a humbling thought, but it is nevertheless 
strictly true that the felicities, or infelicities, of married life depend 
in no small degree upon the table. Unpalatable food is to a large 
extent unprofitable food. Relish is the best sauce, and gustation is 
not to be ignored as a fine ingredient in the oft-lifted cup of ter 
restrial happiness. 

O ! it makes one almost tremble as we think how completely 
man is thrown, in this regard, on the mercy of the woman, and 
how the comfort, or discomfort, of life sums up in the aggregate 
from this source alone. Every meal and a man eats about a 
thousand in a year, and consumes his own weight in victuals about 
once a month will tend to sour or to sweeten his temper and dis 
position. Every baking, O ye bevies of blithe partners, has in it 
the seeds of domestic pleasure or bitterness. 



MANAGING HUSBANDS. 



Bread is the " staff of life," and the maiden that has reached 
woman s estate without knowing how to make a good :< batch " of 
the very "stay" of human existence, ought to be no candidate for 
a marriage ring. It has been wisely hinted that the gentleman who 
affirmed that " love was enough," made the assertion after a full 
meal " a big dinner." 

A certain facetious and hyperbolical writer makes a plain, but 
useful, domestic servant to enter paradise through the possession of 
one virtue alone, namely, the art of good cookery, the sentinel 
saint telling her to "come right in, for she has saved more men 
from perdition than a dozen missionaries." Now under this some 
what questionable way of presenting it, we find a needful truth con 
tained, namely, that skilful cooks are a great blessing to the world 
and that were there more of them there would be fewer strong 
constitutions weakened, fewer good men crippled in their useful 
ness in Zion, fewer sinners almost hopelessly soured against dc 
through the horrors of dyspepsia, and fewer human wreck 
along the coast of the sea of life. 

We have heard of a quaint divine, who, when asked to " 
-race " over a dinner of pork and vegetables, said. " Lord, i 
canst bless under the gospel what thou didst curse under 1 
bless this pig." So, over many a cook-ruined meal we mig 
"asking a blessing," put in a qualifying clause, and say, 
thou canst see good to work a miracle, bless this spoiled fooc 



our use. 



Now as no one can bear rule so well as he that has first obeyed, 
so no person discerns so clearly what should be done as 1 
done the same. 

A housekeeper must know ere she can command to do. What 
esteem, pray, or even partial respect, can a domestic servant 
for her mistress who is so ignorant of household matters, and oft 
mysteries of the culinary art, that in her orders at the shambles si 



3 62 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

includes in the strange list a "leg of tongue," as was done by ,1 
young wife some time ago ; or when her husband desires savory 
"sweet bread," she calls upon the baker for it; or who orders a 
number of pheasants, hares and partridges to be brought home for 
the purpose of perserving them, she having heard of the excellency 
of the English game preserves ; and when selecting a ham out of a 
dozen or so that hang in range along the wall, she innocently asks 
if they are all from one pig ; or. finding the milk on one auspicious 
morning sweeter than usual, she conceives the idea of laying in a 
good supply while she has the opportunity, and so buys enough for 
a week ? 

Remember the proverbs, ye young brides, that "a fair face does 
not sweeten a spoilt dinner, nor a gay dress an ugly temper," and 
" Prettiness makes no pottage ;" and also, " A man must ask his 
wife s leave before he can prosper, for a man s best fortune or his 
worst is his wife." 

On the other hand " Many blame the wife for their own shift 
less life, and it is true that " All women are good they are good 
for something or good for nothing, and their dress usually shows 
which it is." "A good wife is the gift of a good God, and the work 
manship of a good husband." "As the good man saith, so say we ; 
but as the good woman saith so it must be." "The obedient wife 
comands her husband ; the disobedient wife cannot command her- 
"Beauty in a woman is like the flowers in spring ; but virtue 
is like the stars in heaven." " There is many a good wife who can 
not sing and dance well." " He that hath a bad wife has purgatory 
for a neighbor ; but says Solomon the wise, " a good wife is a good 
prize." "The foolish woman is known by her finery." "A wiie is 
better chosen by the ear than by the eye." 








THE WIFE A SISTER. 




JN a spiritual sense, every man s wife is his sister sister, 
friend, lover, and partner in one. The husband has no 
dominion over his wife s faith. His authority stops at 
the conscience. Every one must give an account of 
himself or herself to God. For we must all stand before 
the judgment seat of Christ ; all relationships cease at 
death, and therefore we all should live in relation to the future. The 
marriage only lasts " till death do us part." 

We have a fine illustration of the acknowledgement of the sev 
eral or separate and independent state of the individual soul, even 
when in the married state, in the Apocrypha, where the nuptial 
bond is sealed with solemn prayer by Tobias and his young bride, 
who after that they were both shut in together, Tobias rose from his 
couch and said, " Sister, arise, and let us pray that God would have 
pity upon us." Then began Tobias to say, " Blessed art Thou, O 
God of our fathers, and blessed is thy holy and glorious name for 
ever. Let the heavens bless thee, and all thy creatures. Thou 
madest Adam, and gavest him Eve his wife for a helper and stay ; 
of them came mankind. Thou hast said it is not good that man 
should be alone, let us make unto him an aid like unto himself. 
And now, O Lord, I take not this my sister for lust, but uprightly, 
therefore mercifully ordain that we may become aged together." 

And she said with him, " Amen." 

aes 



3 6 4 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

So the Patriarchs, Abraham and Isaac, in a double entendre, 
called their wives, respectively, "sisters," history strangely repeat 
ing itself after ninety years. (See Genesis xx. 2, and xxvi. 7.) 

The word sister was sometimes used for any near and dear rela 
tive of the fair sex ; even as " nephew " for one of the stronger sex. 

The church is Christ s sister in respect of his humanity. " For 
as the children arc partakers of flesh and blood, he likewise himself 
took part of the same." 

And coming in the spirit to the Jewish church, as a belated 
\vayfarerseckingadmittancc, he cries pathetically, " Open to me, 
my sister, my dove, my love, my undefilcd, for my head is filled 
with dew and my locks with the drops of the night." Canticles. 

So the Jewish and Gentile churches are sisters. " For we have a 
little sister. * * What shall we do for our sister in 

the . ay when she shall be spoken for"Cautic/es. And so, indeed, 
all true churches are sisters : for " ye are all one in Christ Jesus." 

^m 

"Mine eyes have seen the beautiful, 

Mine ears have heard their thrilling voice, 
My heart has felt their potent rule 

The fears of hope, the hope of joys 
But never has my sight approved 

A fairer than my sister no ! 
None other sound so much hath moved 

As her dear brother spoken low." 



MARRYING HALF-SISTERS GREEK CUSTOMS. 

It was not reputed unlawful in many places for brothers to 
marry their half-sisters, and sometimes their relation by the father, 



THE WIFE A SISTER. 365 

sometimes by the mother, was within the law. The Lacedemonian 
lawgiver allowed marriages between them that had only the same 
mother but different fathers. Philo Judeus 



But whatever might be the practice of the heathen nations in 
this important matter, it was accounted an abomination among the 
Jews, for the law of God emphatically condemned it, and made the 
penalty death" And if a man shall take his sister, his father s 
daughter, or his mother s daughter * * it is a wicked 

thing, and they shall be cut off in the sight of the people." Nor 
was a man allowed to marry his mother s sister, nor his father s 
sister, i. e. his maternal or paternal aunt ; nor to take a wife and 
her mother, under the judgment of being " burnt to death, both he 
and they, that there might be no wickedness among them." Thus 
proving the wholesome and salutary nature of this, as well as all 
other of the Mosaic laws, and evincing that the Jews had " advan 
tage every way, chiefly because that unto them were committed the 
oracles of God." 

Helpmeet and lover, companion in one, 

Friend, wife and sister together ; 
How sweetly with thee through life mazes to run, 

Regardless of " wind or of weather." 

I find in thy presence a balm for my fears, 

Thy smile is bright light to my soul ; 
Thine accents fall sweet as the song of the spheres 

Chiming on to eternity s goal. 




& 

ra>vX*> 



CONJUGAL LOVE THE LIGHT OF HOME. 



^fra^jjONJUGAL life without love is a lamp without oil, a well 
- "I l V without water, a sail without wind, a fire without draft* 
a tree without fruit, a tongue without speech, a sky 
*2 without sun, a body without soul, a letter without super 
scription, a guide-post without a way, a book without 
contents, a harp without strings, a bird without wings, a runner 
without a goal, a ship without a harbor, an altar without sacrifice, 
a priest without unction, a temple without worship, a sham, a myth, 
a huge disappointment, a gigantic fraud, a colossal, and, I had 
almost said, an infinite failure. 

Nothing helps, strengthens, soothes, solaces and cheers like love. 
It is the heal-all, lift-all, revive-all, give-all, reunite-all, sustain-all, 
glorify-all of home yea, of human nature everywhere, and in all 
circumstances and relations of life. 



THE HIGHEST SPRINGS THE PUREST. 

"Cato, have you quite forgotten 
How you used, among the cotton, 
Still to sing some pleasant strain ?" 

"Laws, miss, I can sing again " 
And the clear voice clearer rang 
As he swung his hoe and sang : 
366 



LOVE THE LIGHT OF HOME 367 

"Ef you want dc purest water, 

Jist go up de mountain side, 
Whar de ribber start his running 

Down to catch the great sea tide. 
Ef yo want dc reddest roses 

Yo will find them noddin high, 
Whar dem catch dc blessed dew-drops, 

Whar dem see de morning sky. 

Would you eat dem sweetest peaches, 

Juicy, red, or yellow bright ? 
Den yo hab to climb up fur dem, 

Whar dey grow right in de light. 
Ef you seek true friend or lober, 

Upward too de road you take 
Hearts should neber trabel downward, 

Else dey mighty apt to break. 

Ef you look fur fame or glory 

You must climb up with a will ; 
Fur tis jest de same old story, 

Up, and up, and upward still. 
We am born down in de valley, 

But, if heart and feet don t tire, 
We can still be going upward, 

Upward, higher, higher, higher. 

Higher ! higher ! higher ! higher !" 

And at every cotton hill 
Well and swift he did his hoeing, 

Singing louder, clearer still, 
Till I heard the echoes ringing 

In my spirit brave and strong, 
Till I homeward turned me singing 

Singing over Cato s song. Harper s 



368 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

"Higher up! where springs abound 

Of joys that never perish ; 
Where pleasures pure are ever found, 
Those pleasures only cherish 

When faith grows weak and comforts die. 

And cherished hopes are riven 
Then higher up the clearest sky 

Is found the nearest heaven. 

There doth the bow of promise shine 
Forever growing brighter, 

To cheer the pilgrim s path divine 
And make his burdens lighter. 

o 

And when the gates of death appear, 
And Jordan s waves roll o er us, 

His presence quiets all our fear, 
His angel goes before us. 

High ! higher up ! a glorious light 
Dawns on life s darkened even, 

And opes the portals of delight, 
And welcomes us to heaven." 





One word may determine life s bliss or its wot ; 
Ye heavens now dictate tweet yes or stern no. 



THE UNEQUAL YOKE. 




number of men of genius unhappy in their wives is 
very large. The following are notorious examples : 
Socrates and Xantippc ; Sadi, the Persian poet ; Dante 
and Gemini Donati ; Milton, with two of his wives ; 
Marlborough and Sarah Jennings ; Gustavus Adolphus 
and his flighty queen ; Byron and Miss Milbanke ; Dickens and 
Miss Hogarth ; Whitefield and Mrs. James ; John Wesley, &c., 
which lamentable facts in well-authenticated history lead us to con 
clude that wedded bliss is surest on humble, common ground ; that 
ambition is often a foe to the tender passion," and that the only 
way to insure connubial felicity is to be sure that there is a good 
deal of love on both sides, as well as no small fitness for each other. 
Men with a special mission are apt to have but little time for home 
enjoyment and for cultivating the affections. 

It may not be amiss in this connection to mention Socrates 
composure in a domestic storm. One day, after a long tempest of 
feminine abuse, which the old philosopher bore with characteristic 
calmness, his proverbially-vixenish spouse could endure his coolness 
and indifference no longer, but brought matters to a climax by 
fiercely dashing a bowl of water in the sage s placid face. The 
good man, as he wiped his drenched countenance, merely remark 
ing that " so much thunder must needs produce a shower." 
e 869 



37 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Will some one explain why it is that while some good men find 
matrimony a thorn in the flesh, some bad men, on the contrary, 
prove it to be a paradise of delights. Many marriages are clearly 
not made in heaven, but are much more probably brought about 
from beneath : though God still subserves his own gracious purpose 
in the consummation of the same, and makes not only the wrath of 
man, but also his false loves, to praise Him. God is said to curse 
the wicked man s blessings, so on the other hand, he sometimes 
blesses a good man s curses. Ahab seems to live very comfortably 
with Jezebel, \vhilc Job s breath is strange to his wife, and he likens 
her to one of the foolish women. 

And Joash, king of Israel, sent to Amaziah king of Judah, say- 
jiig, The thistle that was in Lebanon sent to the cedar that was in 
Lebanon, saying, Give thy daughter to my son to wife ; and there 
passed by a wild beast that was in Lebanon, and trode down the 
thistle. Bible. 

Thou rankling, noxious, curse-bred growth, 

Wilt woo the cedar s daughter ; 
Thy baseness spurned by wild beast s mouth, 

Or doomed to culture s slaughter? 

Thou spreading plague, thou down-winged pest, 

All winds thy seeds are sowing ; 
Shall beauty wed thy piercing breast, 

With thousand mischiefs blowing ? 



Foul type of sin ! for shame go hide, 
Nor tempt th high-branching thunder ; 

But once provoke the forest s pride, 
Wild beasts shall tread thcc under. 

Be yc not unequally yoked together with unbelievers : for what 
fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness ? and what 
communion hath light with darkness? 



THE UNEQUAL YOKE. 371 

^ And what concord hath Christ with Belial ? or what part hath 
he that believeth with an infidel ? 

And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols ? for 
ye are the temple of the living God ; as God hath said, I will dwell 
in them, and walk in them ; and I will be their God, and they shall 
be my people. Bible. 

This injunction applies to business as well as to matrimonial 
contracts or engagements, and forbids all firm and binding com 
pacts with sinners of either sex and of every nation. Men are 
here enjoined to avoid all entangling alliances, in order to prevent 
the necessity of violent disentanglement*, or of mutual destruction. 

James, the brother of Jude, both alike in their great plainness of 
speech and stern denunciation of wrong, says, " Ye adulterers and 
adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity 
with God : whosoever, therefore, will be a friend of the world is an 
enemy of God ?" Ah ! many a man has been inveigled into a for 
bidden yoke by the plausible pretences of what Bunyan calls 
Madam Bubble "this present evil world. Her appearance, /. e. 
the brightness of earthly allurements, being set forth by the im 
mortal dreamer in the following unique and lively style : 

Honesty. Madam Bubble ! is she not a tall, comely dame, some 
what of a swarthy complexion ? 

Standfast. Right, you hit it ; she is just such a one. 

Hon. Doth she not speak very smoothly, and give you a smile 
at the end of a sentence ? 

Stand. You fall right upon it again, for Micse are her very 
actions. 

Hon. Doth she not wear a great purse by her side, and is not 
her hand often in it, fingering her money, as if that was her heart s 
delight ? 

Stand. It is just so ; had she stood by all this while you could 
not more amply have set her forth before me, nor have better de 
scribed her features. 



T 2 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Hon. Then he that drew her picture was a good lluiner, and he 
that wrote of her said true. 

Great. This woman is a witch, and it is by virtue of her sorcer 
ies that this ground is enchanted. Whoever doth lay their head 
down in her lap, had as good lay it down on that block over which 
the axe doth hang : and whoever lay their eyes upon her beauty 
are accounted the enemies of God. 



TIIK INCARNATE TEMPTER. 

"I see a spirit by thy side, 
Purple-winged and caglc-cycd, 
Looking like a heavenly guide. 

Though he seem so bright and fair, 
Krc thou trust his proffered care, 
Pause a little and beware. 

1 f he bid thec bow before 
Crowned mind and nothing more, 
The great idol men adore ; 

And with starry veil unfold 

Sin, the trailing serpent old, 

Till his scales shine out like gold. 

Though his words seem true and wise, 
Soul, I say to thee arise, 
He is a demon in disguise." 



THE UNEQUAL CONNUBIAL YOKE THE WORST OF ALL. 

Ah ! of all the ill-starred unions, or to use a less astrological 
phrase, of all the ill-fated and evil-boding mesalliances this sin- 
plagued world has to painfully bear, that of saint and sinner bccom- 



THE UNEQUAL YOKE. 373 

ing legally one in God s holy name, and at the sacred altar itself, 
and using the great seal, bearing the grand device, " What God 
hath joined together let no man put asunder," to stamp the ill- 
consorted measure as with divine approval, is the worst and most 
baneful act of all in its dire and far-reaching results. 

Even birds, beasts, reptiles and insects reprove man in this 
respect, and promptly rebuke his eggregrious folly. They never 
leave their own kind, but ever cleave to the same species, the clean 
with the clean, and the unclean with the unclean. 

We, therefore, send the celibate proposing matrimony to the 
same school as that to which Solomon directs the slothful soul, 
saying, " Go to the ant, thou sluggard, consider her ways and be 



wise. 



For even the minute emmets, skilful and wonderful as they are, 
never intercommunicate with those of other communities, but con 
fine themselves strictly to those of their own particular species. 
And it is literally true with regard to the feathered tribes, and in 
this relation especially, that " Birds of a feather flock together." 
Whoever, for instance, saw a jackdaw (we mean among /<?zi//j) mate 
with a swan, or a sparrow make love to an eagle, or detected a dark 
raven in the evening twilight croaking affection in the musical ear 
of the brilliant oriole. A dove is not allowed in a community of 
crows, she would shame their blackness. 

The glittering butterflies, yonder disporting in the summer beam, 
brighter than the flowers from whose sweet cups they drink their 
meed of delectation, never mingle but with those of their own 
color the white with white, and brown with the brown, and the 
yellow with those as golden as themselves. Ah ! nature is consis 
tent throughout, would that man were likewise. 
Shall vulture woo the dove, 
And wolf with lamb unite? 
Shall hate commune with love, 
Or darkness sue for light ? 



374 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Shall good and evil join, 

And God with idols dwell ? 
Shall grace and vice combine, 
And heaven league with hell ? 

Yet this attempt to unite the incompatible and merge the in 
congruous, and make the two extremes of a contradiction come 
together, is endeavored after every time a child of God and a child 
of the devil agree to walk together, linked by the marriage ring, 
for the journey of life. 

Then take the case of Samson, who " went down to Timnath, 
and saw a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines. 

And he came up, and told his father and his mother, and said 
I have seen a woman in Timnath of the daughters ot the Philis 
tines ; now therefore get her for me to wife. 

Then his father and his mother said unto him, Is there never a 
woman among the daughters of thy brethren, or among all my 
people, that thou goest to take a wife of the uncircumcisecl Philis 
tines ? And Samson said unto his father, Get her for me : for she 
pleaseth me well. 

But his father and his mother knew not that it was of the Lord, 
that he sought an occasion against the Philistines : for at that time 
the Philistines had dominion over Israel." 

Here we see the Almighty suffering to come to pass what He 
does not directly counsel or even approve ; that He makes even 
human weakness an effective means of chastising his enemies. 

The words used in our marriage ceremony, " What God hath 
joined together let no man put asunder," has respect simply to the 
rite of matrimony, and not to the eligibility of the contracting par 
ties availing themselves of it. Hence we use the term, "joined 
together according to God s holy ordinance." 

The use of a good ordinance does not necessarily make the 
persons good engaged in it, for a man may " use the law unlaw 
fully," and may put a good seal to a bad contract, 



THE UNEQUAL YOKE. 375 

Fire and water may meet, indeed, but it. will be a troubled con 
tact ; they cannot dwell together. One must prevail against the 
other. So holiness and unholincss cannot occupy, complacently 
the same habitation. They are mutually rcpcilant, and cannot 
coalesce. The Cross, if taken up, will and must be an offence to 
sin, and if laid down it will be an offence to God. The unclean 
spirit cannot bear even Christ s simple presence ; but, crying out. 
they wildly flee before him. 

We have heard of converted young women marrying certain 
ungodly young men "to save them," as they expressed it. But, 
ah ! it was a questionable course, a very doubtful expedient. 
was, alas ! doing evil that good might come an act of demerit, 
deserving eternal damnation. Let all those who madly contem 
plate such a reckless course as this, first wisely stop and think 
pause on the threshold of decisive action and consider ere they 
proceed further, and confer not with flesh and blood a carnal con 
ference is ever fatal to godly endeavor but consult the sacred 
oracles rather, for truth s trumpet on this, as on all other subjects, 
gives no uncertain sound, but blows the blast of a clear divine dis 
approval ; and then let them hear what various uninspired writers 
say, and look around them for examples, which arc all too numer 
ous, of the ill effects of these, unadvised alliances. Let them, to 
escape the evil, take pattern by that model for young women pre 
sented in the graphic writings of the Bedford Tinker, and see how 
gentle " Mercy," in the Pilgrim s Progress, mildly, but firmly, resists 
the bland addresses of the bustling " Mr. Brisk." 

" Now Mercy was of a fair countenance, and therefore the more 
alluring. Her mind also was to be always busying of herself in 
doing ; for when she had nothing to do for herself, she would be 
making hose and garments for others, and would bestow them upon 
them that had need. And Mr. Brisk, not knowing where or how 
she disposed of what she made, seemed to be greatly taken, for that 



37" PROPOSAL AM) ESPOUSAL. 

he found her never idle. I will warrant her a good housewife 
quoth he to himself. 

Mercy then revealed the business to the maidens that were of 
the house, and inquired of them concerning him, for they did know 
him better than she. So they told her that he was a very busy 
young man, and one that pretended to religion ; but was, as they 
feared a stranger to the power of that which was good. 

Nay, then, said Mercy, I will look no more on him ; for I pur 
pose never to have a clog to my soul. 

rrudcncc then replied that there needed no great matter of dis 
couragement to be given to him for continuing so, as what she had 
begun to do for the poor would quickly cool his courage, 

So the next time he comes he finds her at her old work a-making 
of things for the poor. Then said he, What, always at it? Yes, 
said she, ( either for myself or others. And what canst thou earn 
a day? quoth he. I do these things, saith she, that I may be 
rich in good works, laying up a good foundation against the time 
to come, that I may lay hold on eternal life. Why, prithee, what 
dost thou with them ? said he. Clothe the naked, said she. 

With this his countenance fell. So he forcbore to come at her 
again. And when he was asked the reason why, he said that Mercy 
was a pretty lass, but troubled with ill conditions. 

Most of the Grecian States, especially those that made any 
figure, required their citizens should match with none but citizens. 
For they looked upon the freedom of their cities as too great a 
privilege to be granted on easy terms to foreigners or their children. 
Hence we find the Athenian laws sentencing the children of such 
matches to perpetual slavery. And they had a law, that if any 
foreigner married a free woman of Athens, it should be lawful for 
any person to call him to account before the magistrate, where, if 
he was convicted, he was sold for a slave, and all his goods were 
confiscated, and one-third given to the accuser. The same penalty 
was inflicted upon such citizen as gave foreign women in marriage 



THE UNEQUAL YOKE. 377 

to men of Athens, pretending they were their own daughters, save 
that the sentence of slavery was changed into ignominy, whereby 
they were deprived of their voice in all pnblic assemblies, and most 
other privileges belonging to them as citizens. 

"But you, my son. not without grief I hear, 
Are joined in wedlock in a foreign land. 
* -x- * # 

This, this is matter of most killing grief 
To me, and your good grandsire Laius 
When we reflect upon those coming ills 
That must undoubtedly attend the match ; 
For neither I, as well becomes the care 
Of happy mothers, lighted up the torch, 
And blest the nuptials by this pious act. 
Nor was the entrance of your bride proclaimed 
Through Theban streets, but all as unconcerned 
As when no native does bring home a bride. 

* * * * 

Your mother did not at the wedding wait, 
Nor you into your chamber introduce ; 
Nor with her hand the bridal house adorned, 
Nor with her hair lace tied the joyful torch." 
For as there is nothing more tight-fitting and close-joining than 
a yoke, so there is nothing so galling and fretting as an ill-matched 
and uncongenial pair ; where instead of complacently and compli 
antly drawing together, with one shoulder, as the bold Hebrew 
expresses it, they thrust with side and with shoulder, and churlishly 
repel each other at all points of contact, seeking to draw asunder 
while compelled, legally, to pull together. The gross impropriety 
of these incompatible alliances was recognized early in the world s 
history, even before the deluge. 

Tradition tells us that Mahalaleel, the great grandfather of Noah, 
made his children swear by the blood of Abel that they would not 



378 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

come down from the mountains to mingle with the accursed seed 
of Cain. 

Yea, it says further, that when Adam himself was about to re 
turn to his native dust, which occurred not long before the flood, he 
thus having ample opportunity of witnessing the fearful results of 
his disobedience in the still prevailing defection of his ever-increas 
ing family, he called for his son Seth and the other branches of his 
family, and gave them a strict charge that they should always live 
separate, and have no manner of intercourse with the impious fam 
ily of the murderer Cain. 

" Immediately after the death of Adam, say several of these 
writers, Seth, being wearied with the wickedness of the family of 
Cain, his neighbors, and fearing that now they would become more 
profligate, retired from the plain, where he lived" before, and taking 
with him his eldest Enos, and Cainan, the son of Enos, and Mahal- 
aleel the son of Cainan, and their wives, brought them up unto the 
top of that mountain where Adam was buried ; that these inhabi 
tants of the mountains became very famous for their holiness, justice 
and purity ; that they continually employed themselves in the 
praises of God, and in cultivating their minds in sublime specula 
tions ; and that when they were removed to a greater distance from 
the earth, they were so very near the celestial paradise that they 
heard the voices of angels celebrating the praises of God, and joined 
with them in their sacred hymns and heavenly benedictions. 

It is supposed by some that at this early age or infancy of the 
world, the angels were conversant with good men. And it may 
not be improperly said of Enoch and of Noah both, that they 
" walked with God " in this sense, viz., that they had oftentimes 
familiar convere with these messsengers, who might be sent with 
instructions from him how they were to behave on several occasions 
of special interest, and thus proving themselves ministers to the 
heirs of salvation under the first dispensation. Stack/iouse" 



THE UNEQUAL YOKE. 379 

HOW AN EQUAL YOKE MAY BECOME UNEQUAL. 

The terrible process is, alas ! simple enough, and patent to our 
every day observation, and the readiest way to its accomplishment 
is a too-early marriage. For the mind, as well as the body, is 
capable of growth, and of very rapid development, in the young ; 
and two persons who are of the same size at fifteen years of age, 
may be of very unequal stature at twenty-one. 

We say proverbially that "tastes differ," and they differ, too 
oftentimes, very materially in the same individual at different per 
iods of his ever-changing earthly career ; and what is vulgarly called 
" calf-love," may in many cases be completely out-grown and that 
which is like may grow unlike. If we may be permitted to draw 
an illustration from the denizens of the deep, or the " things creep 
ing innumerable of the great and wide sea," we would suggest to 
yonder young crustacean, who, while still growing, annually casts 
his too-contracted shell, that he wait for full development before he 
form a life alliance with any marine companion. 

" To marry a young man is, in the popular idea to insure, as far 
as human means will avail, his morality and responsibility in this 
world and the next. Hence, given an insured income and a suit 
able partner, an early marriage is not only held to be a romantic 
and touching thing, but there is an aroma of prudence and virtue 
about it which commends it to the more sedate and orthodox of 
our population. 

The marriage takes place, haloed by a sort of roseate glow which 
belongs to all things of the early morning, or of spring, and for a 
year or two the union is really true and beautiful. The fancy or 
passion or feeling which drew these two young people together was 
sincere, and it burns with brilliance, and lights up their homes and 
friends and the earth around and the heaven beyond with the tints 
of the rose. Children, when they come, are but brighter centres of 
radiance, or, rather, unreal Ariels and Pearls in the unreal fairyland 



3> PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

in which their parents dwell. But in a short time these married 
children begin to grow into adults, and in ninety cases in a hundred 
they do not grow alike. The man, out in the wider air, strengthen 
ed by friction with other men, becomes an active worker in the 
world, inhales new breaths of life from his profession, his business 
his study of facts or men. The woman s immature body is shat 
tered by the too early drains upon her strength, she has no time 
nor health for culture, for observation, for keeping up in any way 
with her husband. The tie which exists between them was formed 
so early, is so much a part of themselves, that they cannot view it 
or each other with the common sense or cool judgment which they 
could and would bring to bear on any other relation of life. Often 
too, this tic, which grows out of the flutterings of the heart pro 
duced by a pretty face, a sweet voice, a walk by moonlight, is the 
only bond between them. 

The longer they live together, the less they understand each 
other. Sometimes the husband or wife meets a woman or a man 
who does understand, and then comes a long tragedy, played out 
in the home, if they have self-control, in silence, until death merci 
fully drops the curtain. 

The marriages of the middle-aged are subjects of joke for all 
the world, especially for young people, who, arrogant in the certain 
ty of beauty and youth and enthusiam, suppose that they hold the 
title deeds to all the joy and love in the world. They greatly mis 
take. The man who has carried bravely to middle age the conse 
quences of his first whim or passion, who has grown in wisdom, 
influence and strength, unhampered by a silly, vicious or stupid wife, 
throws into the love of his later life all the force of his matured 
intellect and tastes, all the starved, solitary hunger for true com 
panionship of his life. Even when no such deep feeling enters into 
the marriage of middle-aged men and women, they bring to it, if of 
the gentle class, as a rule, a sincere esteem, habits of control ot 
temper, thoughts and tongue, and those wider, sweeter, more charit- 



THE UNEQUAL YOKE. 381 

able views which advancing- years almost inevitably bring to sensi 
ble, educated people. A woman in a second marriage seldom 
feels as a young girl does, that a husband is bone of her bone, and 
hence that his defects are a personal hurt to herself. She always 
stands, so to speak, a little from him and views him with an affec 
tionate, amused criticism. She has learned by this time that they, 
as Mrs. Oliphant calls men, are to be made happy, humored and 
led by certain delicate, wise handlings, and she usually knows the 
art of it. The husband in this case, brings all the experience and 
the gentleness with which he has learned to treat all women. In 
short, if there is less love in the late marriages, there is usually so 
much more common sense and habitual politeness that the chances 
for happiness are equalized. 

Of course, the ideal marriage is that neither of immature youth 
nor middle age. Thejttste millieu is always right in every disputed 
question. But when one is at either end it is so hard to reach the 
middle ! 

After all, we are tempted to reverse Punch s counsel, and to say 
to all who are tempted to marry do it. Go into the field and reap 
your little harvest of experience. Whatever the juice, bitter or 
sweet, which you express from it, it will be your own, and will be a 
better tonic and medicine for your life than that which any other 
man can bring you. Philadelphia Press. 

Alas ! that the customs of the people are vain in this as in many 
other respects, and the higher you go in society the worse it seems 
to become. Most of the marriages among thrones are semi-political 
alliances. Crowns bow to the unequal yoke at the bidding of the 
power behind the throne, and there are probably fewer royal 
matches " made in heaven " than that of any other kind. The fol 
lowing news, which comes to us from Madrid, Spain, is glaringly 
illustrative of this sad fact, showing that the children of kings are 
oftentimes but unwitting puppets in the designing hands of political 
" wire-pullers " : 



3$2 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

" Among the schemes mooted to secure a permanency for the 
regency is the marriage of Queen Mercedes and Infante Jaime, son 
of Don Carlos. As the Infante is only fifteen years of age and the 
Oueen but a few months past five, the marriage looks decidedly 
quixotic. It is said the alliance would satisfy the ambition of Don 
Carlos, and has the approval of the Pope. The Republican papers, 
however, denounce the scheme, and the public generally rather 
laugh at the proposed marriage of two infants." 

Yea, and we would laugh with them if it were not too grave a 
subject for ridicule. 

That these nation -formed yokes, put on the necks of royai 
couples who are oftentimes thus paired, not matched occasion 
al!)- press with galling force, at least on one side, i; evident from 
the- following : 

" A Berlin correspondent writes as follows of the Princess of 
Meniningcn, the Venus of the Hohenzollern blood. To her the 
graces have been eminently partial. The rosy cheeks and Graxo- 
Roman profile, soft blue eye, clear complexion, and teeth whose 
setting Hygiea might have given, make easily plausible the story 
of her heart intrigues, but give little clue to the unhappy marriage 
to which she was martyred. The beautiful princess, it is said, tell 
upon her knees before the sturdy grandfather, and begged and en 
treated the recall of the nuptial cards ; but he proved inexorable, 
and let the tears flow unchecked. She loved another who was not 
a prince of the blood ; but the name Hohenzollern ruled the inclina 
tions of her heart, and manacled her to a man who was her peer 
only in descent. Her beauty, alliance, and position have made her 
in a manner desperate, and she wields her manifold charms 

indiscriminately." 

*X* 

MONOGAMY THE ONLY EQUAL YOKE. 

A yoke is made for two not for more. Here, indeed, if any 
where, two are company, three are an impertinence. So it was p, 



THE UNEOUAL YOKE. 383 

the beginning, so should it have been in the continuance, and so 
shall it be in the ending male and female, man and woman, Adam 
and Eve, bridegroom and bride, husband and wife, father and 
mother, and so on ; not singular on the one side and plural on the 
other, for that were confusion. The two sexes mutually poise like 
the scales of the beam, no room for a third balance. Lamcch, who 
as it seems, was the first to exceed the divine order, had a troubled, 
yea, a violent life to defend. For, as the first death was a murder, 
so the first song recorded was of Hood, and the lament issues loud 
and deep from the lips of the earliest polygamist, as he says : 

" Adah and Zillah, Hear my voice ; ye wives of Lamcch, hearken 
unto my speech ; for I have slain a man to my wounding, and a 
young man to my hurt. 

If Cain shall be avenged sevenfold, truly Lamcch seventy and 
sevenfold." 

"The act of Lamech, in taking to himself two wives, had pr^- 
bably excited the jealousy of some young man," says Gccldcs, 
" who under the impulse of this passion had attacked and wounded 
Lamech, and whom Lamech in his own defence had slain. To allay 
the fears of his wives, therefore, he argues, and justly, that if Cain, 
who had wilfully and maliciously killed his brother, was neverthe 
less protected from the blood-avenger by the special providence of 
God, he might confidentially expect the same protection, since the 
person whom he had slain had sought and endangered his life ; and 
that a still heavier punishment than that which was threatened to 
the avenger of Abel s death, would fall upon the man who should 
attempt to molest him." 

" Marriage was thought to be a conjunction of one man with 
one woman : whence some will have the word gamos derived, from 
two becoming one. Only upon some emergent occasions, when 
their men had been destroyed by war or other calamities, toleration 
was granted for marrying more wives, an instance whereof we have 



3 8 4 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

at Athens in Euripides time, who, as some say, conceived an hatred 
against the whole sex, for which he is famous in story, by being 
harrassed with two wives at once. Socrates is said to have been 
married to Xantippe and Myrto at the same time. Potters Greece. 



UNREQUITED AFFECTION. 

But ot all the evils possible under the previous burden of the 
unequal yoke, perhaps that of unrequited affection is the most ter 
rible to bear. Who can guess its galling weight ? Who can count 
the heart-aches, tear drops, untold agonies, of such a living-dying 
lot as this ? 

We can imagine the soul under these circumstances adopting 
the complaint of the psalmist, and with tears upon her checks, ex 
claiming, " My sighing cometh before I eat," and mourning in 
heart-breaking strain : 

"Upon my lute there is one string 

Broken ; the chords were drawn too fast : 
My heart is like that string it tried 
Too much, and snapt in twain at last." 

" Keen are the pangs 
Of hapless love and passion unapprovcd." 

Yet it is surprising with what carelessness, hccdlessness, ruth- 
lessness even, men and women oftentimes regard the most beautiful 
and generous impulses of which human nature is capable, and 
spurn the heart s purest affections as grossly and churlishly as the 
wild beast out of the wood treads down the vines of some unpro 
tected vineyard, even as the coquetting beauty alluded to in the 
words: "The adoration of his heart had been to her only as the 
perfume of a wild flower, which she had carelessly crushed with her 
foot in passing." And Sir Walter Scott observes in this connection 
that : " A lover s hope resembles the bean in the nursery talc ; let 






THE UNEQUAL YOKE. 3^5 

it once take root, and it will -row so rapidly, that, in the course of 
a few hours, the giant Imagination builds a castle on the top, and 
by-and-by comes disappointment with the curtal axe and hews 
down both the plant and the superstructure." 

Still another says in like sentiment, as he sets his thoughts to 
melody : 

"Down the smooth stream of life the stripling darts 
Gay as the morn ; bright glows the vernal sky, 
Hope swells his sails, and Passion steers his course. 
So glides his little bark along the shore, 
Where virtue takes her stand ; but if too far 
He launches forth beyond discretion s mark, 
Sudden the tempest scowls, the surges roar, 
Blot his fair day, and plunge him in the deep. 

While Powell., in more impassioned verse, breaks forth out of 
the fulness of his beating, panting heart, and cries : 
"Didst thou but know as I do 
The pangs and tortures of a slighted love 
Thou wouldst not wonder at this sudden change ; 
For when ill-treated it turns all to hate 
And the then darling of our soul s revenge." 

Croley follows in kindred measure, and with equal felicity 
exclaims : 

" We paint love as a child, 
When he should sit a giant on his clouds, 
The great disturbing spirit of the world." 

And Byron, last, but not least, utters, with the solemnity of a 
dirge chanted over a ruined hope : 

" Alas ! the love of woman ! it is known 
To be a lovely and a fearful thing." 

To all of which we would add, by way of a closing admonition, 
to avoid if possible, by all means, the curse of a blighted affection, 



386 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

that : " The passions and desires, like the two twists of a rope, 
mutually mix one with the other, and twine inextricably round the 
heart ; producing good if moderately indulged ; but certain des 
truction if suffered to become inordinate. Passion is the great 
mover and spring of the soul ; when men s passions are strongest, 
they may have great and noble effects ; but they are then also apt 
to lead to the greatest evils." 

"The happiness of human kind 
Consists in rectitude of mind 
A will subdued to reason s sway, 
And passions practiced to obey ; 
An open and a generous heart, 
Refined from selfishness and art ; 
Patience which mocks at fortune s power, 
And wisdom neither sad nor sour." 

i.ct our friends of the sterner sex ever remember that, though 
man may possibly be stronger in his reasoning faculties, women are 
stronger in their affections, and that while 

"Love is of man s life a thing apart, 
Tis woman s whole existence." 

" Woman s lot is to be wooed and won, and if unhappy in her 
love, her heart is like some fortress that has been captured, and 
sacked, and abandoned, and left desolate. How many bright eye.; 
grow dim how many soft cheeks grow pale how many lovely 
forms fade away into the tomb, and none can tell the cause that 
blighted their loveliness ! As the dove will clasp its wings to its 
side, and cover and conceal the arrow that is preying on its vitals, 
so it is the nature of woman to hide from the world the pangs of 
wounded affection. The love of a delicate female is always stiy 
and silent. Even when fortunate, she scarcely breathes it to herself, 
but when otherwise, she buries it in the recesses of her bosom, and 
there lets it cower and brood among the ruins of her peace. With 



THE UNEQUAL YOKE. 337 

her the desire of her heart has failcd-thc great charm of her ex 
istence is at an end. 

Look at this, we pray you, ye maidens, and bachelors, and celi 
bates of both sexes, and consider it well- a yoke easy on one side 
and fretting on the other ; light here, heavy there ; a will, so to 
speak, tied to a won t ; gentleness bound to violence, and winning 
smiles wed-locked with haughty frowns, with the terrible difference 
as sharply defined as the boundary of Egyptian darkness with the 
light of Goshcn. 

When loving meets loathing, aversion, desire, 
Alas for the contact, tis water with fire 
The one brightly glowing, with vehemence burning, 
The other rude-quenching, the flame to smoke turning. 

Creation s two forces attraction, repulsion 

Still roll the world onward, but, ah ! when revulsion 
So stern, dark, forbidding, like fiend from perdition, 
Meets the angel of love, lo ! it blightcth life s mission. 



INDIFFERENCE. 

"Against indifference," says Carlyle, " the very gods fight un 
successful." The prefix " in " having a negative quality makes it 
equivalent to " no difference." And what can be done with a per 
son, husband or wife, as the case may be, who is wholly without 
feeling, sentiment, passion, emotion to whom nothing makes any 
difference, good or evil, pain or pleasure, love or hate, smiles or 
tears, life or death, all coming alike, and passing without leaving 
any visible impression, the insensate soul, stoic-like, singing, or 
rather droning, with Ben Johnson : 

"Neither too easy, nor too hard, 
All extremes I would be barred." 



388 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Better any weather, sirs, than a dead calm. Sailors dread that 
the most of all. Indifference makes a dead home, the affections a 
charnel house and what were a waveless, pulseless sea, or a breeze- 
less, motionless air, to the listless affections of an utterly emotion 
less soul, impassive as a jelly-fish ? 

"Who that would ask a heart to dulness wed, 
The waveless calm, the slumber of the dead ? 
No : the wild bliss of nature need alloy, 
And fear and sorrow from the fire of joy ! 
And say, without our hopes, without our fears, 
Without the home that plighted love endears, 
Without the smile from partial beauty won, 
Oh ! what were man ? a world without a sun." 

"How radiant are your looks, and how reserved, 
Full of indifference ! Coldness and aversion 
Sit at the entrance like two baleful fiends." 

O, beware ! ye wedded couples, of the beginning of reservedness 
shyness, coolness and indifference, or you may have to mourn, as 
did another whose affection waned soon after the honeymoon, and 
who sings over the cold remains of a " dead love " : 

"We are face to face, and between us here 
Is the love we thought could never die ; 
Why has it only lived a year ? 
Who has murdered it you or I ? 

No matter who the deed was done 

By one or both, and there it lies ; 
The smile from the lips forever gone, 

The darkness over the beautiful eyes. 

Our love is dead, and our hope is wrecked, 
So what docs it profit to talk and rave ? 

Whether it perished by my neglect, 
Or whether your cruelty dug its grave. 



THE UNEQUAL YOKE. 389 

Why should you say I am to blame, 

Or why should I charge the sin to you ? 

Our work lies before us all the same, 

And the guilt of it lies between us two." 



YOUTH AND AGE. 

We have seen Age marry Youth, and, poetically speaking, 
December wed with May, with singular felicity and blessedness. 
May, under the influence of December, became more sober and 
constant ; and December, beneath the charm of May, grew more 
cheerful and beautiful. 

The young wife was to the bridegroom a sort of protege, com 
bining wife, companion and daughter in one, and the elder bride 
groom was to the bride a father, friend and husband together. 

But the case was exceptional, and the character of the wedded 
pair somewhat phenomenal. The fair spouse was, as we say, "older 
than her years," and the bridegroom was, on the contrary, younger 
than he seemed. Besides this, to stamp and seal the marital bond, 
there was a good deal of common sense, combined with a consider 
able measure of divine grace to sanctify the seemingly incompatible 
union, and to make it after all a thing of beauty, which was a joy 
till death them did part. 

Love made the winter of declining age grow to the summer of 
pleasant delight as quickly as we have seen the seasons change in 
some dissolving view, when, beneath the touch of unseen hand, the 
white snow gradually merged into a bright glow, and the sere leaf 
grew marvellously green, and the flying snowflakes, borne on the 
wings of wintry wind, turned sweetly into showers of shining blos 
soms or flights of glittering insect wings ; and the frowning firma 
ment gradually softened into the serene azure of a smiling summer 
heaven. Such are the marvellous effects of mighty, might we not 
say magnificent, love. 



390 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

But such alliances arc rare, and the chances of happiness, under 
these circumstances, light indeed. The poet, in assuming that old 
age is generally morose and forbidding, sings : 

"Crabbed age and youth 
Cannot live together ; 
Youth is full of plcasance, 

Age is full of care ; 
Youth like summer weather, 
Age like winter bare." 

And, again, another, speaking in the first person, observes : 

" Life, with you, 

Glows in the brain and dances in the arteries ; 
Tis like the wine some joyous guest hath quaffed, 
That glads the heart and elevates the fancy ; 
Mine is the poor residuum of the cup, 
Vapid, and dull, and tasteless, only soiling, 
With its base dregs, the vessel that contains it." 



Till: VICTIM I5RIDE AND THE MISER. 

* * * # :;: 

<f f saw them through the church-yard pass, and such a nuptial 

train, 

I would not for the wealth of worlds should greet my sight again. 
The bridesmaids, each as beautiful as Eve in Eden s bowers, 
Shed bitter tears upon the path they should have strewn with 

flowers ; 

Who had not thought that white-robed band the funeral array 
Of one an early doom had called from life s gay scene away ? 

The priest beheld the bridal pair before the altar stand, 

And sighed as he drew forth his book, with slow, reluctant hand ; 



THE UNEOUAL YOKE. 39 J 

He saw the bride s flower- wreathed hair, he marked her streaming 

eyes, 

And deemed it less a Christian rite than pagan sacrifice ; 
And when he called on Abraham s God, to bless the wedded pair, 
It seemed a very mockery to breathe so vain a prayer. 

I saw the palsied bridegroom, too, in youth s gay ensign dressed, 

A shroud were fitter garment far for him than bridal vest ; 

I marked him when the ring was claimed, twas hard tr loose his 

hold. 

He held it with a miser s clutch, it was his darling gold ; 
His shrivelled hand was wet with tears she shed, alas ! in vain, 
And trembled like an autumn leaf beneath the beating rain. 

I ve seen her since that fatal morn ; her golden fetters rest- 
As e en the weight of incubus upon her aching breast ; 
And when the victor, Death, shall come, to deal the welcome blow, 
He will not find one rose to swell the wreath that decks his brow, 
For, oh! her cheek is blanched with grief that time may not 

assuage ; 
Thus early beauty sheds her bloom on the wintry breast of age." 



BEAUTY AND THE BEAST. 

These lines were written on seeing a butterfly feasting on the 
body of a dead beast beside the railway track : 

Thou gorgeous, glittering thing, 

Is this thy highest taste, 
With stooping, starry wing, 

To light on rotting beast ? 

Didst leave the summer Dowers, 

With dewy fragrance fresh, 
To waste thy golden hours 

On decomposing flesh ? 



PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Beneath thy transformed guise 
An instinct base I find ; 

Fate winged thce for the skies 
But left the worm behind. 

So sin and grace in me, 

Opposing " Adams," dwell ; 

One binds me, Lord, to Thce, 
The other leagues with hell. 

Do Thou the victory give, 
Bid faith subdue my sense ; 

Help me in Thce to live, 
My life and recompense. 



SUNDRY EVIL ALLIANCES. 

The complicated evils, troubles and judgments that have grown 
out of and followed man s transgression in forming unequal and 
iniquitous alliances, whether social, commercial, political, or matri 
monial, arc innumerable. 

This it is that brings profanity into Abraham s family, when 
Sarah, his wife, beholds Ishmael, the son of Hagar, the Egyptian, 
mocking, which occurs on the occasion of the feast made in honor 
of Isaac s weaning (Genesis xxi. 9). This, too, makes the trouble 
in Isaac s family, when Esau being forty years old quite old enough 
to know what he was doing takes to " wife Judith, the daughter of 
Beer, the Hittite, and Bashemath, the daughter of Elon, the Hittite, 
which were a grief of mind unto Isaac and Rebekah." 

It was the mixed multitude the Egyptians among the Israel- 

that "fell a lusting in the wilderness," and inaugurated the 

idolatrous festival, and "grand ball " of the golden calf new gods 

newly come up and that brought the great plagues upon the 

Israelitish camp. 



THE UNEQUAL YORK. 393 

This was the stumbling block, over which men broke their moral 
necks, which Baalam, when he couldn t curse Israel, taught Balak 
to set before the children of Israel when " they called the people 
unto the sacrifices e r their gods, and the people did eat and bowed 
down to their gods." 

It was this, at least by repute, that gave occasion for the differ 
ence between Moses and his brother Aaron and his sister Miriam. 
The history indeed tells us that, " They spake against Moses, be 
cause of the Ethopian, or rather Arabian woman, whom he had 
married. The generality of interpreters suppose this woman to be 
Zipporah, the daughter of Jcthro, whom he married in Midian; for 
those who imagine her to have been another can hardly get over 
this difficulty : Why Moses should set so bad an example as to 
marry at two several times a foreigner, rather than one of the 
daughters of his people. The first time, indeed, that he did so was 
when he lived in a state of exile, but was nevertheless kindly re 
ceived in a family of the best distinction ol the place, which might 
be inducement enough for matching himself with one of the daugh 
ters, since no express precept against matches of this kind was then 
in force. 

But now that he was set at the head of a people who were to 
be separated from the rest of mankind, and was conducting them 
to a country with whose inhabitants they were to have no matri 
monial intercourse, for fear of introducing idolatry, it would have 
been highly indecent and unpopular, an affront to his own country 
women, as well as a dangerous inlet to impiety, for him to have 
married into an idolatrous nation ; nor would his brother and sister 
have been the only persons to clamour against him, but the whole 
congregation would have risen up in arms upon so notorious a pro 
vocation. Since, therefore, we hear of no such commotion, we may 
reasonably conclude that this Cushite, or Arabian woman, was the 
same Zipporah whom he had married some forty years before. But 



394 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

then why should they quarrel with him upon her account at this 
time, and no sooner, is the difficulty." 

Here the Talmud comes to our help, and probably approaches 
somewhere near the truth when, with regard to Moses sojourn 
among the Ethiopians, it says : 

" The Ethiopians placed Moses upon their throne, and set the 
crown of state upon his head, and they gave him the widow of 
Kikanus for a wife. Moses remembered, however, the teachings of 
his fathers how Abraham made his servant swear that he would 
not bring a daughter of the Canaanitcs to be the wife of Isaac, and 
how Isaac had said to his son Jacob, Thou shalt not take a wife 
from the daughters of the Canaanitcs, neither shalt thou intermarry 
with the descendants of Ham ;" therefore the widow of Kikanus 
was a wife to Moses in name only. 

When Moses was made king of Ethiopia the Assyrians again 
rebelled, but Moses subdued them and placed them under yearly 
tribute to the Ethiopian dynasty. 



And the people of Ethiopia made him many rich presents, and 
dismissed him with great honors. 

Moses being still fearful of returning to Egypt, travelled toward 
Midian, and sat there to rest by a well of water. And it came to 
pass that the seven daughters of Re uel (or Jethro) came to this 
well to water their flocks. The shepherds of Midian drove them 
away, designing to keep them waiting until their own flocks had 
been watered, but Moses interfered in their behalf, and they returned 
home early to tell their father what had occurred. Re uel then 
sent for Moses, and the latter related to him all that had happened 
him since his flight from Egypt. And Moses lived with Re uel, 
and he looked with favor upon Zipporah, the daughter of his host, 
and married her." 



THE UNEQUAL YOKE. 395 

What but this prolific evil, containing as many woes as Pan 
dora s box, and without hope at the bottom, led to the destruction 
of Jchosaphat s fine fleet, sent to Ophir for gold, and scattered to 
pieces at Ezion-gabcr? And this after the prophet s stinging re 
proof, administered interrogatively, " Shouldst thou help the ungodly 
and love them that hate the Lord ?" 

Every driving anchor, every rent sail, every broken mast and 
creaking timber, every drowning seaman, every piece of wreck cast 
up by the deep, was an awful, crying comment on the text, " He ye 
not unequally yoked with unbelievers." And that the good and 
too good-natured toward the wicked but mistaken king might 
know the cause or direct reason of the disaster, and might not 
ascribe it to some mere chance, it was said by the inspired seer : 
" Because thou hast joined affinity with Ahab, the Lord hath broken 
thy works." 

Fortunately for the peace and prosperity of his subsequent reign 
this loss and reproof were not lost upon him, and he afterwards 
avoided such ill-boding affinites, so that when Ahaziah, the son ot 
Ahab, said unto him, " Let my servants go \vith thy servants in the 
ships," he would not. Wise man at last. 

What more shall we say on this important subject, fraught with 
such tremendous consequences to mankind? Even the Lcvitical 
law forbids the unequal yoke, as it regards the lower creation ; for, 
saith the law of Moses, Thou shalt not plough with an ox and an 
ass in the same furrow: thou shalt not sow thy fields with divers 
kinds of seeds : thou shalt not make to thyself garments of woollen 
and linen together." 

Let not the reader forget that one companionship leads to 
another, and one yoke may be succeeded by a good many " binders. 1 
If th Philistines find Samson asleep, they will bind him with 
more than one cord, and all of the stoutest kind. 

If " Mr. By-ends," with other "ends" to serve than the glory of 
God, marry " Lady Feigning s daughter," he will have to associate 



39<5 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

himself with Madam By-ends relatives also, and his friendships 
will be chiefly on his wife s side, and these are best described by 
the master allegorist, Bunyan himself, where, in the form of a dia 
logue, he makes Christian and By-ends talk together : 

Christian. This town of Fair-speech I have heard of, and as I 
remember, they say it is a wealthy place. 

By-ends. Yes, I will assure you it is; and I have very many rich 
kindred there. 

Chr: Pray you, who are your kindred there, if a stranger may 
be so bold ? 

By-ends. Almost the whole tc.wn ; and in particular, my Lord 
Turn-about, my Lord Time-server, my Lord Fair-speech (from 
whose ancestors that town first took its name); also Mr. Smoothman 
Mr. Facing-both-ways ; and the parson of our parish, Mr. Two- 
tongues, was my mother s own brother by my father s side ; and to 
tell you the truth, I am become a gentleman of good quality ; yet 
my great-grandfather was but a waterman, looking one way and 
rowing another, and I got most of my estate by the same 
occupation. 

Chr. Arc you a married man ? 

By-ends. Yes, and my wife is a very virtuous woman, the daugh 
ter of a virtuous woman ; she was my Lady Fcigning s daughter, 
therefore she came of a very honourable family, and is arrived to 
such a pitch of good breeding that she knows how to carry it to all, 
even to prince and peasant. It is true, we somewhat differ in re 
ligion from those of the stricter sort yet but in two small points, 
First, we never strive against wind and tide. Secondly, we arc 
always most zealous when religion goes in his silver slippers ; we 
love much to walk with him in the street if the sun shines and the 
people applaud him." 

In former times, far more than to-day, the Christian pulpit 
thundered against the iniquity of the unequal yoke, and especially 



THE UNEQUAL YOKE. 397 

when it was contemplated in the " high places of the earth." Thus 
on one occasion, when that intrepid reformer, John Knox, took the 
liberty of lecturing Queen Mary from the pulpit Her Majesty in 
dignantly exclaimed, " What have ye to do with my marriage ? 
or what are you in this commonwealth?" " A subject born within 
the same, madam," replied the reformer, piqued by the last ques 
tion, and the contemptuous tone in which it was proposed. And 
albeit I be neither earl, lord, nor baron in it, yet has God made me 
(how abject soever I be in your eyes) a profitable member with 
in the same. Yea, madam, to me it appertains no less to fore 
warn of such things as may hurt it, if I foresee them, than it doth 
to any of the nobility ; for both my vocation and conscience require 
plainness of me. And therefore, madam, to yourself I say that 
which I speak in public place ; whensoever the nobility of this 
realm shall consent, that ye be subject to an unfaithful husband, 
they do as much as in them lieth to renounce Christ, to banish I 
truth from them, to betray the freedom of this realm, and perchance 
it shall in the end do small comfort to yourself." 

Surely enough has been said on this vital, but almost exhaust- 
less, subject to convince the most gainsaying and contrary mind 
that in this, as in all other matters of life, " it is an evil and a bittc 
thing to sin against the Lord." Both law and gospel, reason and 
revelation, precept and experience, all proving the salutary nature 
of the divine prohibition, -Touch not, taste not, handle not 
unclean thing." 

If any of our youthful friends are still hovering over pleasing-51 
like a silly bird over a well-baited snare, or fluttering around 
candle of carnal temptation like a dazed moth, intoxicated with tl 
dazzling and over-powering brilliance, let them be startl 
their perilous unconcern, and broken from the fatal charm 
clear notes of apostolic warning, " But, thou, man of God, fl 
things and follow after righteousness." 



398 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

It is said of the dove that it will not so much as smell the 
hawk s feather ; so let the dove of your soul avoid the slightest con 
tact with the sublcties of sin and the wiles of the devil, " for we are 
not ignorant of Satan s devices." 

The young moth in the fable asked her mother how she should 
escape the glare of the lighted candle, and was told to not so much 
as smell of the smoke. But, alas ! what Byron says of the maidens 
may be applied to many persons of both sexes : 

"Maidens, like moths, arc ever caught by glare, 
And mammon wins his way where seraphs might despair." 

Let the Christian reader be careful to not even go near nor look 
on the things that are God-forbidden, but pray the prayer, " Turn 
away mine eyes from beholding vanity." 

The world is a whirlpool : you feel safe enough, perhaps, when 
away among the outer circles, which are mere ripples on the deep, 
but they all connect with the inner vortex roaring yonder, and ere 
you arc aware, you will be drawn irresistibly on and down until 
you are swallowed up in destruction and perdition. 

O ! leave the gay round of thy pleasure, 

And come follow Jesus to-day ; 
Yea, find in his joy chicfest treasure, 

And tread in the safe, narrow way. 

Forsake now the harp and the viol, 

The tabret and pipe of the vain ; 
That joy is succeeded by trial, 

That pleasure is followed by pain. 

The " glide " is a slide to perdition, 
The " waltz " is a whirl toward doom ; 

To join hand in hand is death s mission 
To hasten thy march to the tomb. 









THE UNEQUAL YORK. 399 

Tis nirth in its uttermost flcctness, 

" Quick step " to the regions of dole ; 
While heaven is lost with its sweetness, 

And peril encircles thy soul. 

With soft, silken mesh the foe lurkcth 
Amid gladness and music and flowers ; 

The foulest of plots Satan workcth 
In fairest of spots Eden s bowers! 

My son, then, if sinners entice, 

Consent not to taste of their cheer ; 
That portal so temptingly " nice " 

Has imminent death in the rear. 

O ! better than crowding mirth s hall 

Is to tread Zion s courts with but few in ; 

For Grace never opened a ball, 

Nor Truth waxed a floor toward ruin. 

Then leave the gay round of thy pleasure, 

And come follow Jesus to-day ; 
And find in his joy chiefest treasure, 

And tread in the safe narrow way. 



KINGS GUARDING AGAINST THE UNEQUAL YORK. 

It is said of the church of God, in olden prophecy, that kings 
shall be her nursing fathers, and queens her nursing mothers, a 
prediction which notably came to pass in the reign of the Emperor 
Constantine, and which is having still more complete fulfilment in 
our approach to the splendors of the latter day glory. It is a singu 
lar fact that in any nation, that throne which best supports the 
" True Sanctuary," whose oracle is the Bible, and which stands like 
the house of Justus hard by the synagogue, has ever been the most 
fortunate and prosperous in its political-marital alliances. 



PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 400 

Take as a shining example the present king of Denmark, of 
whom it is said : 

" The Danish king has always had good luck in getting his 
children married. There are six of them. The eldest, the hcir 
apparent to the throne, is married to a daughter of the Scandin 
avian King. The second son; George, is the King of Greece, and 
his wife is a neice of the Emperor of Russia. The third son, Wal- 
demar, was a bridegroom the other day. There are also three 
daughters. One of them, Dagmar, is the Empress of Russia. An 
other, Alexandra, is Princess of Wales, and will be Queen of Eng 
land some day ; and the third, the Duchess of Cumberland, ought 
now to be Queen of Hanover. 

As a father King Christian has brought up his children care 
fully, and with much liberty of thought as to rcl gion. It was easy 
enough for the Princess Alexandra to pass from Lutheranism to 
the church of England faith when she married Albert Edward, and 
so, too, was it easy for the Princess Dagmar to enter the Greek 
Church when she was wedded to the Czarowitz. Prince George 

o 

stipulated that he might remain a Lutheran when he accepted the 
Greek crown, but his six children are all being brought up under 
the spiritual care of the Patriarch of Constantinople. The Princess 
Marie, of Orleans, : s a devout Roman Catholic, and the Pope would 
never have permitted her to marry Prince Waldemar had he not 
promised that their children, if they have any, shall be piously 
educated in the faith of their mother." 



THE UNEQUAL YOKE AND CAIN S MARRIAGE. 

It may not be amiss, perchance, while on the subject of the 
unequal yoke, to enter for a moment the region of the legendary 
and mythical, and seek to ascertain what mere conception can do, 
or unaided reason, in unshrouding certain mysteries which, though 



THE UNEQUAL YOKE. 4OI 

not of vast importance, or at all vital to our interests, are still 
worthy of consideration, and also gratifying to the curious. 

Though we have no sympathy with men that lie for God s glory, 
nor with the abominable, hagiographical casuistry that " a lie is the 
nearest approach to truth," yet conjecture, when not assuming the 
oracular, may render essential service by guessing at the possible, 
and resolving the seemingly impracticable into a very reasonable 
probable or " may-have-been " helping the perplexed mind to a 
plausible way out of her difficulties. 

A dream can do no harm when told as a dream. Let it not 
however, arrogate to itself the importance of a divine affirmation. 
" What is the chaff to the wheat ?" saith the Lord. 

Now, while the Scriptures are silent on the matter, yet Hebrew 
tradition informs us that the first murder was brought about by a 
desire to be unequally yoked together and here we may be excused 
if, for the sake of assisting those who are weak in the faith, especi 
ally on some points of biblical history, we seek to grapple with the 
difficult subject of Cain s matrimonial relations, so long a problem 
which has puzzled the speculative mind, perplexed the unstable, 
and furnished a butt for the shafts of atheistical ridicule and con 
troversial scorn. Let us, then, once more ask the hoary and oft- 
repeated, yet unanswerable question, Where did Cain get his wife ? 

It is distincly said that God at the first made them male and 
female, which may be true of more generations than one : for from 
the very necessity of the case, in this age ot the world s infancy, 
men would have to marry in very near degrees of consanguinity or 
blood relationship. 

There is an Oriental tradition that Eve, at her two first births, 
brought twins, a son and a daughter ; Cain with his sister Azron, 
and Abel with his sister A win ; that, when they came to years of 
maturity, Adam proposed to Eve that Cain should marry Abel s 
twin-sister, and Abel Cain s, because that was some small remove 



402 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

from the nearest degree of consanguinity, which, even in those days 
was not esteemed entirely lawful ; that Cain refused to agree to 
this, insisting to have his own sister, who was the handsomer of the 
two : whereupon Adam ordered them both to make their offerings 
before they took their wives, and so referred the dispute to the 
determination of God ; that while they went up to the mountain 
for that purpose, the devil put it into Cain s head to murder his 
brother, for which wicked intent Cain s sacrifice was not accepted ; 
and that the) were no sooner come down from the mountain than 
he fell upon Abel and killed him with a stone. Patrick s Commen 
tary and Universal History. 

But there is no need to suppose that Cain married the twin 
sister of Abel, if we consider how fast men began to increase and 
multiply on the earth, and how it is said that "the days of Adam 
after he had begotten Seth were eight hundred years : and he begat 
sons and daughters." 

"According to the computation of most chronologcrs it was in 
the hundred and twenty-ninth year of Adam s age that Abel was 
slain ; for the Scripture says expressly that Seth, who was given in 
the lieu of Abel, was born in the hundred and thirtieth year, very 
likely the year after the murder was committed, to be a comfort to 
his disconsolate parents. So that Cain must be an hundred and 
twenty-nine years old when he abdicated his own country ; at which 
time there might be a sufficient quantity of mankind upon the face 
of the earth, it may be, of an hundred thousand souls. For, if the 
children of Israel from seventy persons, in the space of an hundred 
and ten years, became six hundred thousand fighting men, though 
great numbers of them were dead during this increase, we may very 
well suppose that the children of Adam, whose lives were so very 
long, might amount at least to a hundred thousand in a hundred 
and thirty years, which are almost five generations. 

Upon this supposition it will be no hard matter to find Cain a 
wife in another country, though it is much more probable that he 



THE UNEQUAL YOKE. 403 

was married before his banishment, because we ma}/ well think that 
all the world would abhor the thoughts of marriage with such an 
impious vagabond and murderer. Upon this supposition we may 
likewise find him men enough to build and inhabit a city, especi 
ally considering that the word which we render city, may denote no 
more than a certain number of cottages, with some little hedge or 
ditch about them ; and this cluster of cottages, as was afterwards 
customary, he might call by his son s name, rather than his own, 
which he was conscious was now become odious everywhere. 

Upon this supposition, lastly, we may account for Cain s fear 
lest every one that lighted on him would kill him : for, by this time, 
mankind was greatly multiplied, and though no mention is made of 
Abel s marriage, as in so short a compendium many things must 
necessarily be omitted, yet he perhaps might have sons, who were 
ready to pursue the fugitive in order to revenge their father s death, 
or some of his own sisters, enraged against him for the loss of their 
brother might possibly come upon him unaware, or when they 
found him asleep, and so despatch him." 

If we may be allowed to digress for a moment, we may observe 
that, without any Scriptural foundation, there is an Oriental tradi 
tion that, when Cain was confirmed in the design of destroying his 
brother, and knew not how to go about it, the devil appeared to 
him in the shape of a man, holding a bird in his hand ; and that, 
placing the bird upon a rock, he took up a stone, and with it 
squeezed its head in pieces. Cain, instructed by this example, re 
solved to serve his brother in the same way, and therefore, waiting 
till Abel was asleep, he lifted up a large stone, and let it fall upon 
his head, and so killed him ; whereupon God caused him to hear a 
voice from heaven to this purpose, " The rest of thy days shalt thou 
pass in perpetual fear." Calmefs Dictionary. 

With the generous reader s indulgence, before leaving the sub 
ject of Cain his guilt and reputed undesirable marriage we will 



404 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

turn aside for a moment to consider the fratricide s " mark." It is 
said, " The Lord set a mark upon Cain, lest any finding him should 
kill him." 

And here the elegant Stackhousc, speaking nearly two centuries 
ago, observes : " Various are the conjectures of learned men con- 
cerning the mark which God set upon Cain to prevent his being 
killed. Some think that God stigmatized him on the forehead 
with a letter of his own name, or rather set such a brand upon him 
as signified him to be accursed. Others fancy that God made him 
a peculiar garment to distinguish him from the rest of mankind, 
who were clothed with skins. Some imagine that his head contin 
ually shook ; others, thut his face was blasted with lightning ; 
others, that his body trembled all over ; and others again, that the 
ground shook under him, and made every one flee from him. 

Whereas the plain sense of the words is nothing more than that 
God gave Cain a sign, or wrought a miracle before his face, thereby 
to convince him that, though he was banished into a strange land, 
yet no one should be permitted to hurt him. And to find out the 
land into which he was banished is not so hard a matter as some 
may imagine." 

When the fugitive Cain, from the presence of God, 
Was banished, he dwelt in the region of Nod 
The land of the vagabond, roving for life, 
With none to console him but Awin, his wife. 

What the mark he received no man can divine, 
Whether cursed with a stigma or blessed with a sign ; 
Where Scripture is silent, conjecture is vain, 
But one thing is certain all knew it was Cain. 

And further than this, only angels may know ! 
Did God put red brand on his impious brow? 
Revealing to all, with unquenchable glare, 
Wherever he went, that a murderer was there. 



TIIK UNEQUAL- YOKE. 405 

Or did divine lightnings flash full in his face, 
And scathe from his visage all vestige of grace, 
Till vengeance herself could require no more 
Than to bid the wretch live, all his woes to endure ? 

Did a voice still attend him where er he was seen, 
Like the leper of old, ever crying " Unclean ?" 
Or peculiar garb, not of animal skin. 
Proclaim his approach and remind of his sin ? 

Did a vision of blood, like a beacon of flame, 
Make his head shake with terror and show forth his shame ? 
Did the ground quake beneath, apprehending his tread, 
Till men at his coming all scattered and fled ? 

Woe ! woe ! to the man who is guilty of blood ! 

The divine curse upon him cannot be withstood ; 

But a worse crime is your s, sirs, who now dwell in " Xod," 

Who trample beneath you the blood of a God ! 

And, joined to your idols, contemn his blest name, 
Deriding his cross and despising the shame 
O ! renounce your mad folly, repent of the evil, 
Who yieldeth to sin is fast-yoked with the devil. 

In whatever light, therefore, we view the unequal yoke, whether 
in the social, intellectual or spiritual sense, we find it a thing equally 
unwise and undesirable. The ambitious mouse marrying the young 
and amiable lioness, ends his vain life by being crushed beneath 
her frolicking foot. The earthen pot, floating down the stream to 
gether with an iron one, finds a too close neighborhood fatal to its 
interests : for whether the waters dash the former against the latter 
or the latter against the former, it is equally disastrous to its wel 
fare it cannot stand the stern, metallic contact. 

And so, likewise, yonder dwarf, forming an alliance for offence 
and defence with his doughty friend the giant, beholds himself corv- 



406 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

tinually forced into conflict with enemies for which he is no possible 
match ; but being maimed and discomfited in ever encounter, he at 
last withdraws from the unequal contest to mourn, with the loss of 
an eye, arm and leg, the ill-advised, one-sided and disadvantageous 
league. 

But even these fabulous partnerships, unions and contracts were 
not so unnatural, incompatible and vain as those which, alas ! are 
all too common, where men seek to ally the perishable with the 
imperishable, the seen with the unseen, the temporal with the eter 
nal, the carnal with the spiritual, and the grosser human with the 
more glorious divine ; as, for instance, where men essay to harness 
in one chariot the steed of heaven-born charity with that sorry jade 
the-lovc-of-the-w^rkl, calling them conjointly, " liberality ;" or 
where they would make peerless and immortal Faith unite with 
purblind, saucy Reason, and draw together in the same yoke, join 
ing the perfect celestial with the terribly imperfect terrestrial, and 
forcing divine belief itself to submit to a crude process of fallible 
ratiocination these vain minds affirming that they will not believe 
what they cannot -comprehend. 

YVc commend such persons who have become vain in their im 
aginations to carefully peruse the following verses, and to sooner 
seek to couple a mole with a seraph, or make yonder darkling, 
leathern-winged bat to rise and soar sunward with a glorious angel 
of light, than to bind a peerless grace of the spirit to the vile form 
of a mere carnal conception. " For the natural man receiveth not 
the things of the spirit, neither can he know them, for they are 
spiritually discerned." The very faculty of such knowledge is lack- 
iug in the unrencwed man : 

Two travellers started on a tour, 

With trust and knowledge laden ; 
One was a man with mighty brain, 

And one a village maiden. 



HIE UNKOUAL YORK. jo.7 

They joined their hands and vowed to be 

Companions for a season ; 
The gentle maiden s name was Faith, 

The might}- man s was Reason. 

He sought all knowledge from the world, 

And ever}- world anear it ; 
All matter and all mind were his, 

But her s was only spirit. 
If any stars were missed from heaven, 

His telescope could find them ; 
But while he only found the stars, 

She found the God behind them. 

He sought for truth above, below, 

All hidden things revealing ; 
She only sought it woman-wise, 

And found it in her feeling. 
He said, " This earth s a rolling ball, 

And so doth science prove it :" 
He but discovered that it moves. 

She found the springs that move it. 

He reads with geologic eye 

The record of the ages ; 
Unfolding strata, he translates 

Earth s wonder-written pages. 
He digs around a mountain base, 

And measures it with plummet ; 
She leaps it with a single bound, 

And stands upon the summit. 

lie brings to light the hidden force 

In Nature s labyrinths lurking, 
And binds it to his onward car 

To do his mighty working. 
He sends his message cross ..nc earth, 

And down where sea gems glisten ; 



408 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

She sendeth hers to God himself, 
Who bends his ear to listen. 

All things in beauty, science, art, 

In common they inherit ; 
But he has only clasped the form, 

While she has clasped the spirit. 
God s wall infinite now looms up 

Before Faith and her lover ; 
But while he tries to scale its heights, 

She has gone safety over. 

lie tries, from earth, to forge a key 

To ope the gate of heaven ; 
That key is in the maiden s heart, 

And back its bolts are driven. 
They part. Without her all is dark, 

His knowledge vain and hollow ; 
For Faith has entered in with God, 

Where reason cannot follow." 

" Faith s life is a song. She marches to battle with a psalm. 
She suffers with a hymn upon her lips. She glorifices God in the 
fires. She passes out of the world to the music of the Te Deum, 
and not to the dolorous notes of a dirge. She thrusts out the 
wailers and lamenters from the chamber of her departed, and enters 
the room, having none with her but the Lord, who is the resurrec 
tion and the life. Does doubt compose sonnets or chant hos- 
sannahs ? Lutheran, 







THE UNHALLOWED YOKE. 



HOW THE HOLY MAY BE MADE UNHOLY. 




UT as there is no holy thing but man s profaneness may 
unhallow it, so marriage, which is holy as by God or- 
d.aincd, may be made unholy as by man abused. The 
ways are many to unhallow it the non-age of the 
parties ; the forcing of their will (let parents pause and 
ponder this) ; the non-consent of parents ; the matching 
in degrees prohibited ; or with infidels, things common but un 
christian, all these, and more than these, dishonor the honourable 
ordinance of God, and pollute and defile this undefiled state. But 
of itself it is a chaste, it is a pure, it is a holy institution, the author 
holy that ordained it, the parties holy that received it ; and now not 
to be made among us that be Christians, but by a holy person and 
in a holy place. And therefore I conclude that matrimony is sanc 
timony, that marriage is honorable, and the bed undefiled. Henry 
SmttJi. 

If any of our readers have assumed, through the pressure of 
violent temptation, the illegal as well as the unequal yoke, and now 
wish to release themselves honorably from the dishonorable con 
nection, let them, for their instruction and guidance, read the fol- 

409 



4IO PROPOSAL A\D ESPOUSAL. 

lowing decision pronounced in a United States Court of Judicature 
in Utah, " the seat of the beast" of Mormonism : 

" Bishop Clawson, one of the Mormon hierarchy, lately pleaded 
guilty to the charge of polygamy, and in defence of his conduct in 
the past and of his determination to continue such in the future, he 
urged that he had acted in good faith ; that for thirty years he had 
lived in his present marital relationship, and that both his wives 
and himself believed that this relationship was honourable and 
righteous. His wives were young when he married them. They 
are now getting up in years, and he did not believe that in honor 
and justice he could desert them now. Sooner than that he would 
go to prison. 

The judge s answer to all this was simple and unanswerable. 
Bishop Clawson must have known, he said, at the time he formed 
these marriage connections, that he was acting contrary to the law 
of the United States. Deliberately breaking the law of the land, 
which of course involved his taking all the consequences of his 
action, he need not therefore feel either surprised or aggrieved if 
these consequences should be disagreeable in a very high degree ; 
it was no defence for the Bishop to say further that he still believed 
that what he had done was right. Many criminals in other cases 
do the very same thing, but the law punishes them all the same. 

It might have been added that the Bishop was not forced to 
abandon these wives of his, as far as temporal support was con 
cerned. The law did not recognize them as his wives at all, but it 
did not in the slightest forbid his supporting them honestly and 
honourably as long as they lived. All on which the law insisted was 
that they should not be recognized as his wives, and that he should 
no longer live with them as such. His sense of honour, however, 
in the way of continuing to them temporal support on account of 
the wrong he had done them had full scope. The law would not 
for a moment seek either to d~y up or divert the river of his 
liberality." 



THE UNHALLOWED YOKE. 411 

" What is the condition of Utah to-day? One hundred and 
thirty thousand souls who believe in a polygamous theocracy, ar 
rayed against 1 5.000 souls who believe in a republic ; i 30,000 souls 
who believe in John Taylor as the head of their government, 15,000 
souls who believe that the President of the United States is the 
head of their government ; 1 30,000 souls who believe that the laws 
of this country are to be broken whenever they conflict with John 
Taylor s commands ; 15,000 souls who believe that defiance of the 
law is rebellion against the best government on earth ; 1 30,000 
souls who believe that the United States are to be destroyed to 
avenge the death of Joseph and Hiram Smith, and that on the ruins 
will be founded the Kingdom of the Saints ; 15,000 souls who look 
upon this nation as the hope of the world and sec in it perpetuated 
the gradual emancipation and enlightenment of all humanity ; 130,- 
OOO souls that accept polygamy as the revelation from a just God, 
15,000 souls who see in this practice a desecration of home, the 
prostitution of body and soul, and the begetting of children under 
the malign influences of jealousy, hatred and unsatisfied longings. 

" So far as the Anti-polygamy law is concerned it would be very 
easy to rob its opponents of argument by making a United States 
Marriage law. It is a disgrace that there is no such law. \Ve call 
ourselves a nation, and yet the foundation of all society marriage 
is left to the sweet will of State legislation, whereby men and 
women are married in one State and very much the reverse in an 
other. Congress inserts the fourteenth amendment into the Con 
stitution, removing all disabilities of color or race. Here it is, All 
persons born or naturalized in the United States and subject to the 
jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States, and individual 
States are prohibited from making or enforcing any laws abridging 
the privileges and immunities of citizens of the United States. 

" Now, how is this carried out ? Frederick Douglass marries a 
white woman in the District of Utah, and walks the streets a law 
abiding citizen. Shortly after Steven Brown is sent to jail in Mis- 



412 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

sissippi and the negro Thornton is sentenced to four years in the 
State prison of Indiana for similar acts. This is not a plea for mis 
cegenation ; it is a plea for the maintenance of the Constitution. 
Do you not blush that such outrages can be committed in this free 
country ? By all means pass a national marriage law, and if Con 
gress will not revise the constitution in order to embrace the States, 
at all events it can pass such a law for all Territories, and thus do 
away with any special anti-polygamy bill. And when Congress 
has thus done its duty Utah will go on as before. What then ? 
What would any nation do with traitors? Deprive John Taylor s 
church of temporal power, and one-fourth of the Mormons would . 
heave a sigh of relief. Mormons who remain in the church for 
policy s sake and there are a great many of them would dare to 
show their colors." 

A good many heathen chiefs and others in different parts of the 
world have had the same difficulty, when not the outward law, but 
their individual convictions, declared to them that their polygamous 
marriages were wrong. The difficulty in such cases has been success 
fully surmounted by the polygamous husband retaining the wife 
whom he married first as his only one, and at the same time con 
tinuing to support the others so long as this was necessary. 

We have heard of a bigamistic, heathen chieftain, who, when 
becoming a Christian, and wishing to join the church, was told that 
he must first put away one of his wives. He shortly afterwards 
renewed his application, saying that he had but one wife. When 
asked what he had done for, and with, the other, he replied triumph 
antly, " Me ate her up." 




: 4 ^^^y vJTV^/vr A: wJ^X?X>>5 



A WORLD-WIDE CUSTOM. 




<~f 



% -V3 

^o^- VSj, 

ALL the modes of salutation the wide world over, 
whether Christian or heathen, black or white, bond or 
free, kissing is altogether the most popular and custom 
ary. And why ? Is it because of the more profound 
courtesy involved of bringing the faces together the 
noblest part of man or is it because the mouth is the fount of 
utterance which so sweetly persuades and charms the attendant 
soul? Is it because the lips, covered with the finest integument 
of the body, and so thin as to be transparent even, and more deli 
cate and susceptible than the sensitive finger tips, are made the 
medium of the sweet tactual token of admiration and regard? 
However it may be, this method of expressing our attachment and 
good will is preferable to most, or all, other modes, and is certainly 
infinitely to be preferred to the rude habits of some of the barbar 
ous tribes, who, we are creditably informed, express their mutual 
friendships and more demonstrative loves by laying hold of each 
other s heads, and vigorously rubbing their ringed noses together. 
" Of the gestures that denote affection it is difficult to give an 

historic analysis. Kissing was practiced in Europe at the earliest 

415 



416 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

time of which we have distinct record ; it is not superfluous by any 
means to state so much, for there are many peoples at this day 
among whom family relations are quite as tender as elsewhere, that 
do not recognize it. Everybody, schoolboy at least, remembers the 
old legend explaining the introduction of the kiss so far as Romans 
were concerned. Though in itself absurd, it has philosophic inter 
est. For the story reveals that there was a time not forgotten when 
Roman matrons did not kiss, and we may be sure that the 
Roman lovers did not. For among the novelties denounced by 
Cato, the indifference of husbands toward their wives had a con 
spicuous place. If the young man had been used to kiss his sweet 
heart decorously in that happier and purer age which the Stoic 
recalled with despair, he would not have forgotten the practice after 
confarteatio. We cannot understand, nor easily believe that there 
ever was a date when the mother did not kiss her babe ; but, taking 

o 

a larger view of mankind, we see that there are beings, human be 
yond doubt, and very far from the lowest rank in humanity, who 
still ignore that special form of displaying maternal love. London 
Standard. 



THE FIRST HISTORIC KISS. 

And Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice and wept. 
Genesis. 

And well he might. What man with a heart in him but would 
have done the same under similar circumstances ? As men often 
times, under the influence of great excitement, laugh and cry, as 
we say, in the same breath, so it is no wonder that the young and 
generous patriarch should in this case both kiss and cry together. 
See him, the poor, Esau-chased, travel-stained, relative-seeking, 
and new-home-requiring Jacob, having completed a journey of 
nearly five hundred miles from his father s house to the " land of 
the people of the East," much of his lonesome and somewhat peri- 



KISSING. 417 

lous journey lying over barren country and through long solitudes. 
After being as we must suppose, at least two weeks on the way, 
omitting Sabbaths, and going 40 miles, a statute day s journey, per 
diem, and sleeping oftentimes out of doors with nothing but the 
stones of the place for his pillows, the clouds for his curtains, the 
moon and stars for his night-lamps, the rustling of the sycamores 
or terebinths for his " Even song ;" and then rising to pursue his 
way with nothing but a staff in his hand for support and defence, 
and a cruise of oil for the lucubration of his way-weary joints ; to 
thus end his journey and his fears and his growing loneliness to 
gether, and to find himself " at home " among his mother s chosen 
kindred, and face to face with the dearest, sweetest of them all- 
feeling, for the first time, probably, in his chaste, Oriental life, love s 
genial flame enkindling in his youthful breast consummating the 
chief adventure of his history in the midst ot all that was novel, 
pure and endearing, was it any wonder that it should start the 
grateful tear and make him overflow with tender and profound 
emotion, forming one of the most pleasing and striking episodes of 
his most eventful career? 



KISSING TOO COMMON. 

In the matter of kissing we should reform our manners as a 
nation. There is altogether too much of it done among us, and 
unfortunately it is not the hand-kissing of the Germans, or the 
cheek-and-brovv-kissing of the French and Russians. \Yc make 
straightway for the lips. Beyond a shadow of a doubt skin and 
throat diseases are communicated by this " bus, pluribus and omni 
bus " salutation business. But aside from this it is a vicious custom. 
Surely there ought to be a modus in rebus, and people should mod 
ify their transports, and content themselves with the kiss of friend 
ship on the cheek, the kiss of admiration on the eyes or hair, the 
kiss of reverence on the brow, the kiss of gratitude on the hand, or 
27* 



41 S PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

safest of all, the suggestion and not the actuality, by raising one s 
finger tips to one s mouth. And let us hope, too, that women will 
in the catalogue of their " wrongs " include the reprehensible habit 
forced upon them by society of kissing each one coming and going. 
N. Y. Graphic. 

One facetious poetaster has sung with merry truth, which re 
ceives daily illustration : 

"Mankind dislike to kiss so much, 

Man scarce will kiss his brother ; 
But women like the sport so well 
They smack and kiss each other." 

Among the many kinds of kisses known to the world, the fol 
lowing metrical list comprises a goodly number: 

"There s a formal kiss of fashion, 
And a burning kiss of passion, 

A father s kiss, 

A mother s kiss, 
.And a sister s kiss to move ; 
There s a traitor s kiss of gold, 
Like a serpent s clammy fold ; 

A first kiss, 

A stolen kiss, 
And the thrilling kiss of love ; 

A meeting kiss, 

A maiden kiss, 
A kiss when fond hearts sever ; 

But the saddest kiss 

On earth is this 
A kiss to part forever." 

To all of which we may add the kiss of compliment and ap 
proval ; where, as saith Solomon, "Every man shall kiss his lips 
that giveth a right answer " a truth which received a very pleasing 
and practical illustration in the time of Zorobabcl. For after this 



KISSING. 



419 



manner writes Josephus, the Jewish historian, who had a statue of 
of metal erected to his memory in Rome : 

"So the king was pleased with what he had said, and arose and 
kissed him ; and wrote to the toparchs and governors, and enjoined 
them to conduct Zorobabel and those that were going with him to 
build the temple. He also sent letters to those rulers that were in 
Syria and Phoenicia to cut down and carry cedar trees from Leb 
anon to Jerusalem, and to assist him in building the city. He also 
wrote to them that all the captives who should go to Judea should 
be free ; and he prohibited his deputies and governors to lay any 
king s taxes upon the Jews ; he also permitted that they should 
have all the land which they could possess themselves of without 
tribute." 

Now, though we are no great believers in what is commonly 
called "blue blood," for the livid hue betokens anything but health, 
yet we assume that all of us would be more or less flattered by 
receiving a royal kiss, even though securing it in a very cool and 
stately manner, somewhat after the following fashion : 

" The presentation of an English lady to Her Majesty, Queen 
Victoria, is thus described by Adam Badeau : 

The lady, handing her card to a lord in waiting, passes up to 
the Lord Chamberlain, and stands till he pronounces her name. 
Upon hearing it, she prostrates herself in front of the Queen so that 
one knee nearly or quite touches the floor. If it is a presentation, 
her majesty extends her hand with the back upward, and the neo 
phyte, placing her own hand transversely under that of the sover 
eign, raises the royal extremity to her lips. When the lady is of 
the rank of an earl s daughter, the Queen bends slightly forward to 
kiss the cheek of her subject, and the homage is complete ; but there 
have been occasions when the novice was insufficiently instructed 
in advance, and kissed the monarch in return, very much to the 
disgust of majesty and the horror stricken amazement of the cour 
tiers. After the obeisance to the Queen, another must be made to 



4- PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

every one in the royal circle in turn, the depth of courtesy being- 
graduated according to the rank of the personage ; and as the last 
prostration is performed and the subject rises to her natural posi 
tion in life again, two other watchful lords or gentlemen, as skilful 
as the first, catch up her train and throw it once more over the 
lady s arm, and she slowly stumbles backward out of the room, 
having been at court. " 

But while there may be more of dignity in a royal kiss, there is 
scarcely less of beauty in a loyal one. 

Who has not heard of the Atheist Hume and of the lit /. - rrjrl 
that would not kiss his infidel lips, a reproof which he was not 
likely to forget ? 

Some clays afterwards Hume again visited the house of his 
friend. On being introduced into the parlour, he found no one 
there but his favorite little girl ; he went to her, and attempted to 
take her up in his arms and kiss her, as he had been used to do ; 
but the child shrunk with horror from his touch. 

My dear, said he, what is the matter ? do I hurt you ? 

No, she replied, you do not hurt me, but I cannot kiss you, I 
cannot play with you. 

Why not, my dear ? 

Because you are an infidel. 

An infidel ? what is that ? 

One who believes there is no God, no heaven, no hell, no 
hereafter. 

And arc you not very sorry for me, my dear? asked the 
philosopher. 

Yes, indeed I am sorry/ returned the child, with solemnity ; 
and I pray to God for you. " 

To all of our marriageable young sisters we would say, " Go ye 
and do likewise." Pure lips should never kiss blaspheming lips, 
never. There is such a thing as kissing, or withholding a kiss, fo r 






KISSING. 421 

God s sake, even as we read of Samuel, the prophet, that " he took 
a vial of oil and poured it upon Saul s head, and kissed him, and 
said, Is it not because the Lord hath anointed thcc to be captain 
over his inheritance ?" 

" Give me a good kiss," is a very frequent and innocent request 
usually uttered between parent and child, and means all that is 
artless, loving and pure ; but for really excellent kisses, or exemp 
lary osculatory salutations, "seasoned with grace," commend us to 
those of the following nature : 

" The lady in Millais famous picture would fain save her lover s 
life from the massacre of Bartholomew by binding the popish badge 
around his arm ; he kisses her for her love, but firmly removes the 
badge. So when the dearest friends we have, out of mistaken ten 
derness, would persuade us to avoid persecution by relinquishing 
principle and doing as others do, we should thank them for their 
love, but with unbending decision refuse to be numbered with the 
world. Moses must have loved Pharaoh s daughter for her kind 
ness, but refused to be called her son." 

We sometimes smile, and not without reason, at some of our 
young city belles kissing and caressing their pet poodles in the 
public thoroughfare ; and at excited politicians, in the exuberance 
of their enthusiasm, bestowing tokens of endearment and affection 
upon the steeds that draw the carriages of their favorite and res 
pective candidates, as in the case of the great Commoner Pitt, of 
whose ovation an eye-witness thus expresses himself: 

" The crowd clustered around his carriage at every step, hung 
upon the wheels, hugged his footmen, and even kissed his horses. 
Such were the circumstances under which he retired from office, 
having resigned on the 5th of October, 1761." 

But this is sensible and harmless salutation compared with the 
wealth of pure affection, the floods of tenderness and womanly de 
votion lavished by many of our trusting, gentle maidens on smooth- 



422 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL, 

tongued. sun-faced, flattering and fickle suitors of the opposite sex. 
There is no such waste of affection as that which is expended on 
worthless men. 

But we, as a celibate, are free to confess that if one thing more 
than another serves to destroy our confidence in, or at least moder 
ate our estimate of, the joys of the connubial state, it is in the 
growing fewness of the kisses, mutually given, in more advanced 
wedded life. "The lips that kiss till death," says Byron, " have 
turned life s water into wine." Why is it, we would earnestly ask 
of our honeymoon-waning benedicts and their growingly-indifferent 
spouses, that the tables are so often turned, and the wine becomes 
water, even if not soured into vinegar? In other words, if kissing 
be so good a thing, why not continue the gratifying practice. We 
have heard of but one man who carefully " kept books " on this 
point, and we are afraid his curious and comparative statistics 
might apply in no small measure to thousands who may read 
them : 

" A Frenchman recently died who, it is stated, on his wedding- 
day, some twenty years ago, took the original perhaps it may be 
said rather imprudent resolution to keep a yearly account of the 
number of kisses exchanged with his wife until their union became 
severed by the death of one or the other. He was destined to be 
the first to go ; but, when on his sick bed, forseeing that he would 
not recover, he begged a friend to let the world know the result of 
his twenty-years account-keeping. During the first year of wedded 
life the kisses exchanged reached the colossal figure of thirty-six 
thousand five hundred, or one hundred a day on an average ; but 
in the following twelve months there was a notable decrease, not 
more than sixteen thousand being inscribed on his register ; while 
the third year shows a still greater falling off, the average number 
of kisses being about ten a day. And after the lapse of five years a 
further reduction is recorded, and the account-keeper s task was 
simplified, for only two kisses were exchanged during each twenty- 



KISSING. 423 

four hours one on rising and one on retiring to rest. Later on, 
during the last ten years of his married life, they kissed each other 
only on leaving for or returning from a journey. and he had very 
little trouble in making up his annual domestic statistics." 

It is a significant fact that the Bible itself, when opened in the 
middle, greets you with a kiss. For there the " Song of Songs," 
which is Solomon s, meets you, sung in the midst of the years, and 
set in the centre of Scripture together, like a beryl in a gold ring ; 
the only inspired love song of the ages beginning with charming 
abruptness, and striking the attendant ear as with a burst of full 
orchestral music, it sounds, " Let him kiss me with the kisses of his 
mouth, for thy love is better than wine." 

Love wants favors, seeks for tokens, desires expression, and 
kissing, as we have already seen, is the most general and congenial 
way of declaring the same, for it involves a mutual act. It is a two- 
sided salutation, and therefore doubly agreeable. The young lady 
who was explaining to her guardian aunt the meaning of a light 
kissing rumor, that a "bird of the air had carried" to her vigilant 
ears, was strictly logical and spoke better than she thought when 

she said : 

"What happened there was simply this, 

And let them make the best of it, 
I gave him scarcely half a kiss, 
And he gave me the rest of it." 

Of course it is this "rest of it " that makes the zest of it in this 
particular manner of showing elective preference and esteem. 

The kiss on the mouth or lips was held among the Jews sacred 
to the conjugal state or marriage relation. Others, indeed, less 
closely allied by kinship, might kiss brow, or cheek, or hand, or 
neck, but only one among them all, and he the nearest and the 
dearest, might adventure the delicacy of the salutation of the 
lips. 



4 2 4 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

The virgin, the daughter of Zion, is here alone musing, and she 
is thinking of her coming Lord, the heavenly bridegroom. She has 
been betrothed unto him in righteousness, but it has been done as 
it were by proxy not an uncommon thing among distant thrones, 
when princes and princesses negotiate an alliance being accomp 
lished by ambassadors, or God s servants the prophets. She has 
had letters and love-tokens sealed with the king s signet, and per 
fumed with the odor of the rose of Sharon and the lily of the val 
ley, the smell thereof like Lebanon, and in the midst of his mercies 
these comforts have delighted her soul. 

She has had dim outlines limned by inspiration of his princely 
portraiture, and she sees him upright as the palm tree, his counten 
ance fairer than the children of men, lovely with love itself, and 
charming with even divine beauty, and she declares it faultless, 
exclaiming, as though he were present, " Thou art all fair, my love, 
there is no spot in thce." 

But, oh ! she wants his presence ; she longs to see his person, 
the king in his beauty ; and still looking down the years, like one 
gazing along a vista of increasing loveliness and beauty, she cries 
in impassioned ardor, " Let my beloved come into his garden, and 
eat his pleasant fruits." " Make haste, my beloved, and be thou 
like the roe or the young hart on the mountains of Bethcr ;" and 
then, listening at the door of prophecy for the sound of his foot 
steps, or looking, like Siscra s mother, through the lattice, she cries, 
" It is the voice of my beloved ! Behold he cometh leaping upon 
the mountains, skipping upon the hills." And here, not venturing 
to utter his dear and sacred name, she substitutes the pronoun for 
the blessed noun, and says, " Let him kiss me with the kisses of his 
mouth." 

He is the bridegroom, she the bride. He is the apple tree 
among the trees of the wood, or her beloved among the sons ; she 
is the lily among thorns, or his beloved among the daughters. His 
is the countenance like Lebanon, excellent as the cedars ; hers is 



KISSING. 



425 



the face looking torth as the morning, clear as the sun, fair as the 
moon, and terrible as an army with banners. Well, then, may the 
words be uttered in pious, sweet soliloquy, " Let him kiss me with 
the kisses of his mouth." 

God s promises are the soul s kisses, when the spirit, the com 
forter, applies them. There, indeed, he does speak comfortably (to 
the heart as it is in the original) to Jerusalem. Then the letter, 
like Ezekiel s wheels, becomes instinct with the spirit of life. Thus 
all moves and glows again. 

"Don t you remember," says a certain clerical writer in the 
Sunday at Home, in addressing himself chiefly to the very young, 
and alluding to a charming nursery story, and attempting to get 
theology out of it, " how the prince came at last to the sleeping 
beauty, and woke her with a kiss, and set everything going again, 
as the sun kisses the frozen winter into a tumult of melting waters 
and cleansing streams ? But don t you also remember what n very 
difficult task he found it to be, what a business it was to get through 
that hedge, how many fears and fevers he had to encounter on 
the way? You remember that one day a prince, who loves your 
sleeping soul, will come, and will force his way through to case it. 
Christ will wake you up one day to beauty and life again. But 
when you have been waked up, then your pain and sorrow will 
begin. You will grieve bitterly to think what you have given him 
to do ; you would give worlds never to have fallen into those sloth 
ful, reckless and evil ways, and never to have laid upon his love the 
burden of pain it cost him to recall you to life and health. He is 
very good ; he goes about turning ashes to beauty." 

A sweet little incident is related by a writer. She says : " I 
asked a little boy last evening, Have you called your grandma to 
tea ? Yes. When I went to call her she was asleep, and I didn t 
know how to wake her. I didn t wish to hallo at grandma, nor 
shake her ; so I kissed her cheek, and that woke her very softly. 



426 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Then I ran into the hall, and said, pretty loud, u ran dm a, tea is 
ready. And she never knew what woke her." 

The Jews have a proverb that Moses death on Horeb was so 
painlessly easy and charmingly pleasant that God kissed his soul 
out of him. So divine truth, like an angel from Paradise, allures, 
blesses, touches, and kisses, with the embrace of holy love, the 
soul of man out of his death of trespasses and sins. " Thou 
hast loved my soul from the pit," sings King Kezekiah literally, 
" Thou hast loved me up from the pit." 



THE KISS OF HOMAGE AND ALLEGIANCE. 

Kiss the son lest he be angry, and ye perish from the way when 
his wrath is kindled but a little. David. 

" When a man of rank is angry with an inferior, the latter will 
be advised to go and kiss his feet ; which he does by touching his 
feet with his hands, and then kissing them. 

" See that poor woman whose husband has committed some 
crime, for which he is to be taken to the magistrates ; she rushes to 
the injured individual, she casts herself down, and begins to kiss 
his feet ; she touches them with her nose, her eyes, her ears, and her 
forehead : her long hair is dishevelled, and she beseeches the feet 
of the offended man to forgive her husband. Ah, my lord ! the 
gods will then forgive you. My husband will in future be your 
slave, my children will love you, the people will praise you ; forgive, 
forgive, my lord ! 

" The Egyptians, on taking anything from the hand of a super 
ior, or that is sent from him, kiss it ; and as the highest respect, put 

it to their foreheads." 

m 

KISSING THE LAW. 

To open or shut the roll or book of the law, to hold it and to 
raise it, and show it to the people, are three offices which are sold, 






KISSING. 427 

and bring in a great deal of money. The skins on which the law 
is written are fastened to two rollers, whose ends jut out at the 
sides beyond the skins, and are usually adorned with silver ; and it 
is by them that they hold the book when they lift it up and exhibit 
it to the congregation, because they are forbidden to touch the book 
itself with their hands. All who are in the synagogue kiss it, and 
they who are not near enough to reach it with their mouths, touch 
the silken cover of it and then kiss their hands, and put the two 
fingers with which they touched it upon their eyes, which they 
think preserves the sight. History of the Bible. 

And the devotees of Rome, in their audiences with the Pope, 
not only kiss the golden crucifix on his richly-embroidered slipper, 
just over his great toe, which is called metaphorically, " kissing the 
Pope s toe," but they have long ago kissed completely off the great 
toe of St. Peter s image in the cathedral that bears his name, so that 
it had to be replaced with a more endurable one of silver. 



KISSING THRESHOLDS. 

" In a chapel adjoining to that in which a saint lies, in which 
one of the late kings of that country has a superb tomb, and is 
supposed to lie interred, are seven sacred songs, written in large 
letters of gold, on a blue ground, in so many distinct panels, in 
honor of Aaly, Mohammed s son-in-law, and the great saint of the 
Persians, as also the ancestor of that female saint that lies entombed 
there. Among other extravagant expressions of praise there is 
this distich in the fourth hymn : The angelic messenger of the 
truth, Gabriel, kisses every day the threshold of thy gate, because it 
is the only way to arrive at the throne of Mohammed. 

On entering the first large hall we were stopped by a silver 
grating, where we were obliged to take off our shoes ; and here we 
remarked the veneration of the Persians for the threshold of a holy 



PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

place, a feeling that they preserve in some degree even for the 
threshold of their houses. Before they ventured to cross it, they 
knelt down and kissed it, whilst they were very careful not to touch 
t with their feet In writing to a prince, or a great personage, it 
is common for them to say, Let me make the dust of your thres 
hold into surmeh (collyrium) for my eyes. " Montr s "Second 
Journey Through Persia. 



: 



ECONOMY IN KISSING. 

A little good advice for those who throw away their kisses, and 
.vhosc juvenile lips may be said to run wild, comes to us through 
one of our Toronto dailies, where a married woman thus counsels 
her own fair sex : 

Save your kisses for your husband ; 

Ever}- one you throw away 
I* or some foolish passing fancy 

You ll be sorry for some day. 
There s no dower a bride can bring 
That will be more prized than this, 
That you give your first love-kiss. 

When the true prince comes you ll know him. 

And he will not love you less 
That he has to win your kisses 

By his worth and faithfulness. 
When, with his betrothal ring, 
He shall claim your kiss, be sure 
That your lips are sweet and pure. 

So my own dear mother told me 

Long ago, when I was young ; 
And I know the sweetest music 

Ever heard from mortal tongue 



KISSING. 429 

Were my husband s words : You bring 

More than dower of gold-pretence 

When you give your innocence." Abbe Kinnc. 



HOW THE BRIDE PAID THE MARRIAGE FEE. 

A trial before a Groton justice, in which a young woman was 
plaintiff and her lover defendant, was adjourned one day last week 
to allow the parties to effect a life-long settlement out of court. 
When late in the evening the matter was so far settled that only a 
minister or justice of the peace could complete it, the couple sought 
Justice Simeon A. Chapman, and invoked his aid to make them 
one. The justice tied the knot firmly, and naturally expected a 
good sized fee, which the bride paid with her lips. The justice was 
too gallant to express any dissatisfaction with their tender, but 
ordered a worsted motto " Terms Cash " to be placed conspicuously 
near the front door. Hartford Times. 

- W& - 
POLITICAL KISSES. 

And it was so, that when any man came nigh to him to do him 
obeisance, he put forth his hand, and took him, and kissed him. 

And on this manner did Absalom to all Israel that came to the 
king for judgment. So Absalom stole the hearts of the men of 
Israel. Bible. 

In olden times, it is said, that men won their way to public pre 
ference and parliamentary distinction by a liberal use not only of 
their tongues, but also of their lips, Absalom-like kissing their 
way to seats of power osculation proving in many cases the high 
way to universal approbation ; for, as saith one of our funny 

papers : 

"In other days the candidate, 
As old election tales relate, 



430 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Of our staid English nation, 
Kissed all the women : babies, too, 
Got many a kiss, as was their due ; 

Folks won by osculation. 

But now we ve come to colder times, 
And ne er can our election rhymes 

Recount such pleasant stories ; 
The kissing of the days gone by 
Is o er, like wine and bribery, 

And old election glories. 

No more fine ladies give a kiss 
To help a husband up to this, 

The height of his ambition, 
To represent a town or shire ; 
Twould set committee-rooms on fire 

Such aid to requisition " 

What would ensue should the star of " Woman s Rights " be in 

o 

the ascendant may be inferred from a case which recently occurred 
in France, where a deputation of no less than fifty fair ones waited 
upon a popular French statesman, and said they had been ap 
pointed " to kiss him." The surprised and too-highly flattered gen 
tleman, not wishing to appear ungallant, had to have recourse to 
a good deal of diplomatic maneuvering to escape the threatened 
lip-enfilading contact ; but saved himself from a very avalanche of 
feminine affection a tempest of blissful salutation by a political 
ruse, which for the ladies sakes we shall not here divulge. 



CHURCH KISSES. 

With regard to the saints kisses of old time, we have respec 
tively Paul s " Holy Kiss" (i Cor. xvi. 20), called holy to distin 
guish it from an unchaste and lascivious one, and from a hypocriti- 



KISSING. 431 

cal and deceitful one such a one as Joab gave to Amasa when, 
inquiring for his health, he took him by the beard to kiss him, and 
stabbed him under the fifth rib ; and as Judas, who cried " Hail, 
master," to Christ, and kissed him, and betrayed him into the hands 
of his enemies. And Peter s " Love Kiss" : " Greet ye one another 
with a kiss of charity," (i Peter v. 14) that unfeigned, fervent, 
brotherly, love kiss, which he had again and again exhorted them 
in this epistle to cherish. 

And also Tertullian s " Peace Kiss," who, writing about 198 A. 
D., says : " Another custom has become prevalent such as are 
fasting withhold the peace kiss, which is the seal of prayer, after 
prayer made with brethren. But when is peace more to be con 
cluded with brethren than when, at the time of some religious 
observance, our prayer ascends with more acceptability ; that they 
may themselves participate in our observance, and thereby be as 
sured for transacting with their brother touching their own peace ? 
What prayer is complete if divorced from the holy kiss? Whom 
docs peace impede when rendering service to the Lord ? What 
kind of sacrifice is that from which men depart without peace?" 



CLEMENT S MYSTIC KISS. 

Clement, of Alexandria, about A. D. 205, calls it the "Mystic 
Kiss," i. e., the kiss symbolizing union with Christ. "If we are 
called to the kingdom of God," he says, " let us walk worthy of the 
kingdom, loving God and our neighbor. But love is not tested by 
a kiss, but by kindly feeling. But there are those that do nothing 
but make the churches resound with a kiss, not having love itself 
within. For this very thing, the shameless use of the kiss, which 
ought to be mystic, occasions foul suspicions and evil reports. The 
apostles call the kiss holy " 



432 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

THE WORD KISS AND ITS COMPOUNDS. 

The very nomenclature of the ancients prove the practice of 
kissing among them, as for instance the word Philemon means 
" Him that kisses." And in coming down to our own day, we find 
kiss in various compounds, and seeing it is but a step from Kiss to 
Kissam, we may here observe that such \vas Mrs. \Y. H. Yander- 
bilt s maiden name, and, strange to say, it was her form in the 
shadow of a doorway late one evening, in a street in Albany, that 
startled young Vanderbilt s horse, and threw the rider, " who fell 
heavily on a pile of stones, striking the left side of his face. Miss 
Kissam screamed and sprang forward, supposing that Vanderbilt 
was either dead or very badly hurt. Hardly had she reached his 
side when he jumped up, shook himself, and brushed the dust from 
his face. 

Arc arc you badly hurt? timidly inquired the young lady. 

Not at all, Miss Miss a stammered the youth 

Miss Kissam/ whispered the young lady, while many blushes 
suffused her pretty face. 

Well, I m not hurt, Miss Kissam, said William H. Vanderbilt, 
as he introduced himself; but I am pretty badly shaken up. 

Miss Kissam appeared embarrassed, and insisted upon young 
Mr. Vanderbilt going to her home, as he suddenly appeared very 
faint It did not take much persuasion to induce him to escort her 
home. Here he was introduced to Miss Kissam s father. A pleas 
ant evening was spent, and William proved such an excellent con 
versationalist that when he took his departure that evening he was 
invited to call again, which he did repeatedly until they were 
married." 



KISSING UNIVERSAL. 

My muse in pleasant mood doth glow, 
And sings in sweet rehearsal ; 



KISSING. 433 

How kisses multiply and grow 
To custom universal. 

The parents kiss each darling child 
Child kisses father, mother ; 

And brothers kiss their sisters mild- 
Each sister kisses brother. 

And those whom we do " sweethearts " call- 
Euphonious appelation ! 

Will kiss while rolls this earthly ball 
In every tribe and nation. 

As long as brightness lives in flame 

Will kissing go with wooing, 
And turtle doves are not to blame 

Whose billing follows cooing. 

Spring sunshine, kissing ice-bound streams, 

Dissolve the chains that bind them, 
And warmer winds with brighter gleams 

Tell summer comes behind them. 

Sweet zephyrs kiss the amorous flowers 

That lift their cups to bless them, 
And fragrant floods from balmy bowers 

Steal forth as they caress them. 

The planets kiss with lips of light, 
(Each star is heaven s own daughter) 

And stoop, with beamy rapture bright, 
To kiss th upleaping water. 

The mountain summits kiss the skies 

That bend so sweet above them ; 
Upon their brow the cloudlet lies 

The fleecy vapors love them. 

The hills look up like hope s own eyes, 
And shine like dumb evangels : 

28* 



434 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

And human souls, that heavenward rise, 
Half kiss the beckoning angels. 

The kiss of love, and kiss of peace, 
Still greet you in the churches 

The Spirit s kiss from sin s release 
They are but heaven s porches. 

O ! kiss of promise, kiss divine, 

Kiss holy, kiss eternal ! 
Thy salutation still be mine 

Till joy becomes supernal. 

But say, when time and death are past, 
And finished earthly story, 

Will kissing still forever last, 
Do angels kiss in glory? 

Ye swains and nymphs, oh ! purely kiss 
While threading life s dull mazes ; 

Retain your souls as bright in this 
As beams that kiss the daisies. 



STOLEN KISSES. 

But, alas ! for our exhortations, whether uttered in prose or 
verse, we apprehend that whatever we, or others, may say on this 
important subject, there will yet be many who will practically 
ignore or gainsay it, and continue to make their salutations mere 
waifs, to light wherever chance may direct them ; and 

Who will merely kiss for kissing s sake, 
Though sad eyes weep and kind hearts break. 

Or. perhaps, they will quote, with evident relish, from the foolish 
lips of profligate vice the tempting text of the "stolen waters," &c.. ( 
or, perchance, they will sing with a grim satisfaction, and a grievous 



KISSING. 435 

application withal, the gay song of the felonious fairies, engaged in 
robbing an orchard by moonlight, which, translated from the Latin 
by Leigh Hunt, sounds merrily enough as it issues from the lips of 
fabled elves and mythic, span-long fays, but not so edifying, indeed, 
when proceeding from the mouths of living mortals : 

We, the Fairies, blithe and antic, 
Of dimensions not gigantic, 
Though the moonshine mostly keep us 
Oft in orchards frisk and peep us. 

Stolen sweets are always sweeter, 
Stolen kisses much complcter ; 
Stolen looks are nice in chapels, 
Stolen, stolen be your apples. 

When to bed the world arc bobbing 
Then s the time for orchard robbing ; 
Yet the fruit were scarce worth peeling 
Were it not for stealing, stealing. 



BIBLE KISSES. 

These sacredly-recorded kisses are various and numerous, and 
almost all kindred relationships are represented. We have a 
brother s kiss in Aaron, who meets Moses on the mount and kisses 
him ; a father s kiss, in Isaac kissing Jacob, and a son s kiss, in 
Jacob kissing Isaac, as also in Elisha saying, " Let me, I pray thee, 
kiss my father and my mother, and then I will follow thce." Then 
a son-in-law s kiss salutes us in Moses, who meets his father-in-law 
and kisses him ; and a mother-in-law s salutation in Naomi, com 
bined with a good wish, when she says, " The Lord grant that ye 
may find rest, each of you in the house of her husband." Then she 
kissed them, and they wept. 

We behold in the Bible, too, how kissing and blessing go to 
other twin beauties that should seldom be found apart. Thus 

t> 



436 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Isaac kisses Jacob and blesses him. Laban, too, rises up "early in 
the morning, to kiss his sons and daughters and blesses them, and 
departs." Also kissing and weeping quite as frequently " keep 
company." Even as Jacob kisseth Rachel and lifteth up his voice 
and weeps. And as Esau, already mentioned, Naomi, David and 
others, wept. 

Besides all these, we have a kiss of complete reconciliation fur 
nished us in Joseph s kissing all his brethren, after which " they 
talked with him." And another in David s kissing Absalom at 
court, after several years of enforced absence. 

And to close the list, we have the farewell kiss presented not 
only in many of the cases already mentioned, but also in that of the 
church s adieu to Paul, when they fell on his neck and kissed him, 
sorrowing most of all for the words which he spake that they should 
see his face no more ; and a mourner s kiss in Joseph, who, after 
Jacob was dead, fell upon his father s face and kissed him, and 
wept over him. 




THE OUTWARD FORM THEREOF. 




HE word "beauty" is applied to the person, particularly 
in the female sex in an eminent manner, and the desires 
and pleasures arising from beauty in this may be con 
sidered an intermediate step between the gross, sensual 
ones and those of pure esteem and benevolence : for they 
are in part deduced from both these extremes ; they mod 
erate, spiritualize and improve the first, and, in the virtue, are ulti 
mately connected with the last. 

But they arise also from many other sources in their intermedi 
ate state, particularly from associations with the several beauties of 
nature and art already mentioned, as of gay colors, rural scenes, 
music, painting and poetry ; from associations with fashion, the 
opinions and encomiums of others, riches, honors, high birth, &c., 
from vanity and ambition. 

That part of beauty which arises from symmetry maybe said 
to consist in such proportions of the features of the face, and of the 
head, trunk and limbs to each other, as are intermediate in respect 
of all other proportions, /. e. such proportions as would result from 
an estimation by an average. One may say, at least, that these 
proportions would not differ much from perfect symmetry. Hartley. 



433 



440 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

One writer affirms that : " Beauty is the outward form of 
goodness ; and this is the reason we love it instinctively, without 
thinking why we love ; but we cease to love when we find it un 
accompanied with truth and goodness." 

Beauty depends more upon the movement of the face than upon 
the form of the features when at rest. Thus a countenance habitu 
ally under the influence of amiable feelings acquires a beauty of the 
highest order from the frequency with which such feelings are the 
originating causes of the movement or expressions which stamp 
their character upon itMrs. S. C. Hall. 

\ face that should content me wondrous well, 

Should not be fair, but lovely to behold : 

Of lively look, all grief for to repel 

With right good grace, so would I that it should 

Speak without word, such words as none can tell. 

Sir Thomas Wyatt. 

Remember, if thou marry for beauty, thou bindest thyself all 
thy life for that which perchance will neither last nor please thee 
one year ; and when thou hast it, it wilt be to thee of no price at 
all. Raleigh. 

There is a wide difference between admiration and love. The 
sublime, which is the cause of the former, always dwells on great 
objects and terrible, the latter on small ones, and pleasing ; we sub 
mit to what we admire, but we love what submits to us ; in one 
case we arc forced, in the other we arc flattered, into compliance. 

Nought under heaven so strongly doth allure 
The sense of man, and all his mind possess, 
As beauty s lovely bait, that doth procure 
Great warriors oft their rigor to repress 
And mighty hands to forget their manliness ; 
Drawn with the power of an heart-robbing eye, 
And wrapped in fetters of a golden tress 



BEAUTY. 441 

That can with melting pleasancc molify 

Their hardened hearts, enured to blood and cruelty. 

Spensci. 

We may safely acknowledge, and as well at the first as at the 
last, that among all fair things there is nothing quite so fair as a 
fair countenance. It combines all other fairnesses in one, and 
blends all conceivable brightnesses together. 

All the graces seem to sit, like a galaxy of queens, within the 
comely compass of the charming, facial circle. There is a whole 
system of beauties there. The rose blooms in her cheeks ; the lily 
glows in her brow and neck ; the ruby glitters in her moving lips 
Solomon s " thread of scarlet ;" and the very blue of the sky, or the 
" body of heaven in its clearness," wells its lustre in those speaking, 
sparkling, sapphire-blazing eyes ; while the shining hair falls grace 
ful on either side, and in rival profusion, like the curtains of a 
king s pavilion, where, as in Ahasuerus tent, there are "white, green 
and blue hangings, fastened with cords of fine linen and purple to 
silver rings and pillars of marble." 

"Queen Virtue s court, which some call Stella s tacc, 
Prepared by Nature s choicest furniture, 
Hath his front built of alabaster pure, 
Gold is the covering of that stately place ; 
The door, by which sometimes comes forth her grace, 
Red porphyr is, which lock of pearl makes sure, 
Whose porches rich which name of checks endurc- 
Marble, mixt red and white, do interlace. 
The windows now, through which this heavenly guest 
Looks o er the world, and can find nothing such 
Which dare claim from those lights the name of best, 
Of touch they are, that without touch do touch, 
Which Cupid s self from Beauty s mind did draw, 
Of touch they are, and, poor, I am their straw." 
How few of us, alas ! are proof against the charm of mere 
aspect, appearance, >-ountenance. 



44 2 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Well might Justice be painted blind, that she might weigh all 
cases of all classes in an even balance. 

Some of the ancient judges held their court at night that they 
might not see the countenance of the prisoners, nor be able to dis 
tinguish friend from foe, nor relative from stranger. 

It is not without its significance, therefore, that in the non-age 
of the world the age of type and shadow we find beauty bestowed 
on man as one of the special gifts of heaven. God gave all the 
patriarchs beautiful wives, every one of them. Sarah, Abraham s 
wife, was fair to look upon ; Rachel, Jacob s wife, was well-favored ; 
Joseph, tradition says, won the " pearl ot Egypt," in the daughter 
of Potipherah, the priest of On (or the sun), and Joseph himself, 
says the Talmud, was almost heavenly/air, and drew all eyes toward 
him as he passed along, which would make the proclamation all 
the more agreeable, as it rang before his riding chariot, "Bow the 
knee " which beauty may also have been the cause of his sore 
temptation and severe sufferings. 

Daniel and his compatriots in Babylon were the fairest of all 
the Jews in captivity : 

" Children in whom there was no blemish, but well favored, and 
skilful in all wsidom, and cunning in knowledge, and understanding 
science, and such as had ability in them to stand in the king s pal 
ace, and whom they might teach the learning and the tongue of 
the Chaldeans. 

" And the king communed with them ; and among them all 
was found none like Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah, there 
fore stood they before the king." 

Then let not cynicism sneer, nor envy look askance, neither 
base curmudgeonism, with his strange, conglomerate name, never 
heard in heaven, dispense trite maxims such as, "Beauty buys no 
beef," " Beauty is no inheritance," " Beauty is only for a day," &c., 
&c; for unheeding all these flings and flouts that compass her 



BEAUTY. 443 

about like bees, and buzz disapprobation on her fair form, lo ! the 
moon of beauty rides on in the firmament of her own inviolable 
supremacy, and goes forth " walking in brightness," and " looking 
around her with the heavens all bare," for 

* * " Tis the eternal law 

That first in beauty shall be first in might." 

To give pain is the tyranny, to make happy is the empire, of 
beauty. Johnson. 

Beauty, without kindness, dies unenjoyed and undelighting. 
Ibid. 

" Beauty is only skin deep," says the old proverb, but the saying 
itself is no deeper. It is physically untrue, for beauty is not an 
accident of surface, but a natural result and attribute of a fine organ 
ization. A man may sneer, like Ralph Nickleby, at a lovely face, 
because he chooses rather to see " the grinning death s head be 
neath it ;" but Ralph was a heartless villain, and that is only 
another name for a fool. " Beauty is one of God s gifts," says Mr. 
Lewes, " and every one really submits to its influence, whatever 
platitudes he may think needful to issue. 

How, think you, should we ever have relished the immortal frag 
ments of Greek literature, if our conception of Greek men and Greek 
women had been formed by the contemplation of figures such as 
those of Chinese art ? Would any pulse have throbbed at the Lab- 
dacidan tale had the descendants of Labdacus risen before the 
imagination with obese rotundity, large ears, gashes of mouths, eyes 
lurching upwards towards the temples, and no nose to speak of ? 
Could we with any sublime emotions picture to ourselves Fo-Ti on 
the Promethean rock, or a Congou-Antigone wailing her unwedded 
d ea th ?" Proverbs of all Nations. 

"Arrayed in all her charms, appeared the fair: 
Tall was her stature, unconfined her hair ; 
Proportion decked her limbs, and in her face 



/;4<- PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Lay love enshrined, lay sweet attractive grace, 
Tempering the awful beams her eyes conveyed. 
And, like a lambent flame, around her played. 

Lisle. 

As lamps burn silent, with unconscious light, 
So modest ease in beauty shines most bright ; 
Unaiming charms with edge resistless fall, 
And she who meant no mischief does it all. 

Prior. 

It is not everybody, however, who is a judge of true beauty 
even when it is placed directly before them ; but human fancy is 
in this, as in everything else, very whimsical and capricious, proving 
the truth of the old proverb, "" What is one man s meat is another 
man s poison." Therefore it is said : 

Beauty, like wit, to judges should be shown ; 
Both arc most valued where they best are known. 

Lord Lyttleton. 

Yet there is a majesty in beauty, and a sweet-insinuating, silent- 
captivating power that cannot wholly be ignored, even by the most 
callous and apathetic natures ; and which, like the identity of spir 
itual bodies and of holy intelligence, grandly proves itself! for its 
brightness is as strikingly lustrous and unique as the glory of the 
" bow in the cloud on the day of rain," peerless and incomparable : 

"Oh, richly fell the flaxen hair 
Over the maiden s shoulders fair ! 
On every feature of her face 
Sat radiant modesty and grace ; 
Her tender eyes were mild and bright, 
And through her robes of shadowy white 
The delicate outline of her form 
Shone like an iris through a storm." 

And we may ask further, with Byron : 

"Who hath not proved how feebly words assay 
To fix one spark of Beauty s heavenly ray? 



BEAUTY. 445 

Who doth not feel, until his failing sight 
Faints into dimness with its own delight, . 
His changing cheek, his sinking heart confess 
The might the majesty of Loveliness ? 

And what foible, pray, is more generously ana generally excus 
able in a parent than the pride of being the progenitor of gentle 
loveliness, and of adding to the desirable sum of the world s great 
wealth of living bloom and fair-augmenting beauty. Even as in 
dicated in the following paragraph from a standard author : 

" It would be fruitless to deny exultation when I saw my little 
ones about me : but the vanity and satisfaction of my wife were 
even greater than mine. When our visitors would say, Well, upon 
my word, Mrs. Primrose, you have the finest children in the whole- 
country ; Ay, neighbor, she would answer, they arc as heaven 
made them, handsome enough if they be good enough ; for hand 
some is that handsome does. And then she would bid the girls 
hold up their heads ; who, to conceal nothing, were certainly very 
handsome. Mere outside is so very trifling a circumstance with 
me, that I should scarcely have remembered to mention it had it 
not been a general topic of conversation in the country. Olivia, 
now about eighteen, had that luxuriance of beauty with which 
painters generally drew Hebe ; open, sprightly and commanding. 
Sophia s features were not so striking at first, but often did more 
certain execution ; for they were soft, modest and alluring. The 
one vanquished by a single blow, the others by efforts successfully 
repeated. Goldsmiths Vicar of Wakefield. 

Her face had a wonderful fascination in it. It was such a calm, 
quiet face, with the light of the rising soul shining sc peacefully 
through it. At times it wore an expression of generousness, of 
sorrow even ; and then seemed to make the air very bright with 
what the Italian poets so beautifully call the the " lampeggiar del, 
angelica riso" the lightning of the angelic smile. Longfellow. 



44" PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Yet beauty, gayly and fondly as its possession may be borne or 
regarded, is nevertheless a grave trust, and not to be basely es 
teemed. What Young, the poet, says of wit, may with equal pro 
priety be applied to physical loveliness, that, oftentimes, 

" It hoists more sail to run against a rock." 

The more airy, and light, the elegant yacht, the more need of 
the deep-balancing ballast to steady her swift course. The more 
noticeable the personnel, the more careful should one be to carry it 
well. That Scripture proverb is still in force, and not to be con 
temned because it soundeth blunt and very curt, which says, " As a 
jewel of gold in a swine s snout, so is a fair woman without 
discretion." 

How vain are all these glories, all our pains, 
Unless good sense preserve what beauty gains. 

* * # ;;c * 

Beauties, in vain, their pretty eyes may roll ; 

Charms strike the sight, but merit wins the soul. Pope. 

The brighter the light the more perilous, if it be but the vvill-o- 
the-wisp to lead you into the mire : 

"So millions are smit with the glare of a toy ; 
They grasp at a pebble and call it a gem 
And tinsel is gold, if it glitters, to them ; 
Hence, dazzled with beauty, the lover is smit, 
The hero with honor, the poet with wit ; 
The fop with his feather, his snuff-box and cane 
The nymph with her novel, the merchant with gain." 

Beauty is but a vain and doubtful good, 

A shining gloss that fadeth suddenly ; 

A flower that dieth when first it gins to bud ; 

A brittle glass that s broken presently ; 

A doubtful good, a gloss, a glass, a flower, 

Lost, faded, broken, dead within an hour. SJiakespeare. 



BEAUTY. 447 

" Beauty is a disastrous property, tending to corrupt the mind 
of the wife, though it soon loses its influence over the husband. A 
figure agreeable and engaging, which inspires affection without the 
ebriety of love, is a much safer choice. The graces lose not their 
innocence like beauty. At the end of thirty years a virtuous woman, 
who makes an agreeable companion, charms her husband more 
than at the first" 

Xenophon has well said that beauty is more catching than fire. 
" Fire burns only when we are near it ; but a beautiful face burns 
and inflames though at a distance." 

Zimmerman wisely affirms that " beauty is worse than wino, it 
intoxicates both the holder and the beholder." And \ve have 
known some that were inebriated all the time. 

While Socrates, who seems to have had a lovely or comely virago 
for a wife, whose smile was but "a sunbeam o er a gulf of guile," 
called beauty "a short-lived tyranny ; Plato, a privilege of nature ; 
Theophrastus, a silent cheat ; Theocritus, a delightful prejudice ; 
Careades, a solitary kingdom ; Domitian said that nothing was more 
grateful ; Aristotle affirmed that beauty was better than all the 
letters of recommendation in the world ; Homer, that twas a glori 
ous gift of nature ; and Ovid calls it a favor bestowed by the gods." 

Eliza Cook, with her usual felicity of expression, plays a some 
what telling though amusing change on that sweet chime of silvery 
word-bells, " A thing of beauty is a joy forever," by singing: 

" A thing of beauty is a joy for ever. 

Oh ! pleasant music-words ; and often sung : 

But some pert brains, more cynical than clever, 
Like mine, just now, may tax with idle tongue 

The laurelled speech which seems to say that never 
Can aught be beautiful but what is young, 

And fair, and charming yet a question may 

Arise on what our very Miltons say. 



PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

A woman s rosy mouth is good to see, 

With its soft, sculptured lines cut cleanly out ; 

A "thing of beauty " it must surely be ! 
But for the rest there may exist a doubt. 

To hear it scold, through breakfast, lunch, and tea, 
Is apt to put the best digestion out ; 

Xo "joy forever " is the ruby mouth 

That blows much oftener from nor -east than south." 

1 The beauty of the air, gesture, motions and dress has a great 
connection with the beauty of the person, or rather makes a "con 
siderable part of it, contributing much to the sum total ; and when 
considered separately receiving much from the other part of the 
beauties of the person. The separate beauty of these things arises 
from some imitation of a natural or artificial beauty already estab 
lished, from fashion, high-birth, &c., or from their being expressive 
of some agreeable or amiable quality of mind. 

Beauty has the highest encomiums bestowed upon it in books, 
especially in such as are too much in the hands of young person , 
has the highest compliments paid to it in discourse, and is often the 
occasion of success in life; all of which holds more particularly 
in respect of women than of men. No wonder, therefore, that both 
sexes, but especially women, should desire both to be and be thought 
beautiful, and be pleased with all the associated circumstances of 
these things ; and that the fear of being or being thought deformed 
should be a thing to which the imagination has the greatest possi 
ble reluctance." 

"To meet the requirement of a classic figure a lady should be 
5 feet 4^ inches tall, 32 inches bust measure, 24 inches waist, 9 
inches from armpit to waist, long arms and neck. A queenly wo 
man, however, should be 5 feet 5 inches tall, 31 inches about the 
bust, 26y 2 about the waist, 35 over the hips, 1 1 j inches around the 
ball of the arm, and 6*/ 2 inches around the wrist. Her hands and 
feet should not be too small." 



BEAUTY. 449 

Now, we may venture to affirm, on the best authority, and sup 
ported by abundance of irrefragable and undisputed proof, that 
virtue is the best promoter and preserver of beauty, even in the 
complexion itself, and divine grace is the greatest conservator of 
native grace. " A man s wisdom maketh his face to shine," and 
goodness literally looks out at the skin. 

To get bloom in the face we must have pure blood at the heart 
God made the match between beauty and piety and any attempt 
at divorce can only be attended with discomfort and disaster. Vice 
never fails, in the end, to stamp its impress on the brow ; nor virtue 
to leave her impression there. Believers are termed " children of 
light," and grace tends to beautify and brighten even the outward 
expression. Unbelievers, on the contrary, are in a kingdom of 
darkness, and all the vices, without exception, serve to darken the 
face as well as the soul. The show of their countenance cloth 
witness against them," it is said of tr? sinners in Zion ; while of the 
saints in Jerusalem it is declared, "Their countenance is comely." 

O ! pleasant is beauty 

When wedded to duty, 
Rejoicing in brightness she onward cloth go : 

Still consciously glowing, 

Her light she is sowing, 
And reigns in her glory while dwelling below. 

Wherever she liveth 

Her good cheer she giveth, 
And gladdens alike both the palace and cot ; 

Benign is her mission, 

No rank nor condition ! 

But haileth her presence to brighten their lot. 

With charms never palling, 
But gratefully falling, 
Like clew on the grass in the night of earth s tears ; 

29* 



450 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

Diffusing her graces, 
She gladdens all places, 
Like the light of the stars or the song of the spheres. 

But, alas ! when fair beauty, 

Divorced from high duty, 
Forgettcth her Maker, the guide of her youth ! 

Yonder bright stone of fire, 

Swine-rooted in mire, 
Is the type of her baseness as drawn by the truth 

Like Judea s daughters 
By Chaldea s waters, 

Like seraph that falls from the mountain of God ; 
Defiled is her glory- 
Reproach ends her story 

A captive in sackcloth, oppressed and down-trod. 

Fashionable sinners have sometimes been scared, as it were, 
from a career of pleasing vice by merely seeing themselves in the 
mirror that monitor that would not flatter, but like Queen Eliza 
beth s painter, put in all the wrinkles. 

Dr. Budington tells of a young woman who came to see him once 
about joining his church. He asked her what made her first think 
of wanting to become a Christian. She said it was because she 
found she was growing so ugly. She looked in the glass one day 
when she was very angry, and was fairly frightened to see how ugly 
she looked. She found that the bad tempers she was giving way 
to were making ugly marks upon her face. She was afraid to 
think what this would grow to by and by. This led her to think 
what a dreadful thing sin must be. Then she prayed to Jesus to 
take away her sin, and make her a Christian. This young woman 
was right. What she said was true. There is nothing that will 
help to make us look ugly sooner than giving way to bad temper. 



BEAUTY. 451 

And if we want to make ourselves look beautiful, there is no better 
way than by trying to be like Jesus." 

"What is beauty ? Not the show 
Of shapely limbs and features. Xo. 
These are but flowers 
That have their dated hours 
To breathe their momentary sweets, then go ; 
Tis the stainless soul within 
That outshines the fairest skin." 

"At the last meeting which the late venerable Dr. Marsh held 
in his rectory grounds at Beddington, he being then above ninety 
years of age, and just on the eve of his departure for heaven, two 
Afghans stood behind his chair. One of them was so impressed by 
the loveliness of character exhibited by the aged saint, that, on 
hearing of his death shortly after, he exclaimed, " His religion shall 
now be my religion ; his God shall be my God ; for I must go where 
he is, and see his face again." 

In his old age Dr. Marsh gathered round him many of the 
young cadets from Addiscombe College, some of whom became 
devotedly attached to him. One lad, while lingering for a parting 
word, exclaimed to a companion, " What is the use of being young 
when one sees a man of eighty in better spirits than the jolliest 
among us ?" Teacher s Note-Book. 




BEAUTIES. 



ENGLISH BEAUTIES. 




Mr. Greely s last letter from Europe to the New York 
t; r d Tribune, he speaks of the English women, and com- 
^^J|H$ mends their perfection of figure. He attributes this to 

!,^^Cj^,^ V 

ATvJSr^ the English lady s habit of out-of-door exercise. We 

X^ ]) had thought that this fact was well known ; that it was 

known years ago, and that our fair countrywomen would 

catch a hint from it that would throw color into their cheeks and 

fulness into their forms. And yet, sadly enough, our ladies will 

coop themselves in their heated rooms, until their faces are like 

lilies, and their figures like lily-stems." 

A feature of the exhibition of a firm of London tailors in New 
York is the showing of garments on living models not pretty 
girls hired for the service but genuine English beauties, imported 
so freshly that their London accent is not yet in the slightest de 
gree impaired. 

There are fifteen of them, and all young, with handsome faces 
and slender, lithe, shapely figures, on which the clothes are dis 
played to the best possible advantage. They chat agreeably with 
the crowd of shoppers, strike effective attitudes, and walk about 
with a gait presumably that of the most approved London belles." 

452 




As placets ask no aid of tbeir sister orbs to shine, 

But, sphered in native splendor, adorn the glittering sky; 

So beauty brightly beams with effulgence half divine, 

Attracting to her lustre the world s admidng eye : 

But with radiance more sublime, that transcends the bounds of time. 

Brave virtue beareth starward, rejoicing in her prime. 



BEAUTIES. 453 

"May my song soften, as thy daughters I, 
Britannia, hail ; for beauty is their own, 
The feeling heart, simplicity of life, 
And elegance, and taste ; the faultless form, 
Shaped by the hand of harmony ; the cheek, 
Where the live crimson, through the native white 
Soft shooting, o er the face diffuses bloom, 
And every nameless grace ; the parted lip, 
Like the red rose bud moist with morning dew, 
Breathing delight ; and, under flowing jet, 
Or sunny ringlets, or of circling brown, 
The neck slight-shaded, and the swelling breast ; 
The look resistless, piercing to the soul, 
And by the soul informed, when dressed in love, 
She sits high-smiling in the conscious eve." 

"She laughs and runs a cherub thing 
And proud is the doting sire 

To see her pull the flowers of spring, 
Or play by the winter fire. 

Her nut-brown hair falls thick and fail- 
In many a glossy curl ; 

And freshly sleek is the ruddy cheek 
Of the infant English girl. 

The years steal on, and day by day 

Her native charms expand ; 
Her round face meets the summer ray, 

Like the rose of her own blest land. 
There s music in her laughing tone, 

A gold gleam through her curl ; 
And beauty makes her chosen throne 

On the brow of the English girl. 

She is standing now, a happy bride, 
By the holy altar rail ; 



454 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

While the sacred blush of maiden pride 
Gives a tinge to the snowy veil. 

Her eye of light is the diamond bright, 
Her innocence the pearl ; 

And these are the richest bridal gems 
That are worn by the English girl. 



AMERICAN BEAUTIES 

"The frankness of the American young women," writes Archi 
bald Forbes, " has in it, on the threshold, a certain bewilderment 
and even embarrassment for the British male person, especially if 
his collars be too stiffly starched. She has so utter an apparent 
absence of self-consciousness, her mental equipoise is so serenely 
stable, her good-fellowship, if one may use the term, is so natural, 
that he cannot see his way easily to the solution of the problem. 
I assume him to be a gentleman, so that his intuition deters him 
from a misconception of the phenomena that confront him. 

She flirts : she is an adept in flirtation, but it is a flirtation from 
the teeth outwards, to use Carlyle s phrase, and he is fain to own to 
himself, like the fox-hunting farmer we tried unsuccessfully to get 
drunk on claret, that he seems to get no forader. But although 
the citadel of the fort seems to him strangely impregnable, because 
of the cool, alert, self-possession of the garrison, I have been told 
by heroic persons, who ventured in the escalade, that, if the be 
leaguer be him whom fortune favors, it will terminate an honorable 
seige by a graceful capitulation." 



TRADITIONAL BEAUTIES. 

And Pharoah called Joseph s name Zaphnath-paancah ; and he 
gave him to wife Asenath, the daughter of Poti-pherah, priest of 
On. And Joseph went out over all the land of Egypt. Bible. 



BEAUTIES. 455 

And it came to pass after this that Joseph saw Osnath, the 
daughter of Potipherah, a pearl among the beauties of the land, 
and he loved her, and she became his wife. Talmud. 



SERACH, THE FAIR HARI EP 

Joseph commanded them to be careful in imparting the news 
they carried to their father, lest speaking suddenly it might have a 
bad effect upon so old a man. And the sons of Jacob returned 
unto the land of Canaan in gladness with happy hearts. 

And it came to pass when they drew near to Canaan that they 
said one to the other, " How shall we break this news unto our 
father? We cannot tell him sudddenly that Joseph is still alive." 

But it chanced when they reached Beer-Shebah that Scrach, the 
daughter of Asher, came to meet her father and her uncles. And 
Scrach was a sweet singer, and she played upon the harp. 

So they said unto her, " Take thy harp, and go and sit befoi\ 
our father and play to him, and as thou playest, sing ; sing of his 
son Joseph, and let him k ow in this manner that Joseph lives." 

And the maiden did as she was bid, and sitting before her 
grandfather, she sang to him a song, wherein she repeated seven 
times these words : 

"Lo, Joseph is not dead ; he lives, 
My uncle rules o er Egypt s land. 

And Jacob was pleased with her singing and playing ; happi 
ness seemed to find birth in his heart at her sweet voice, and he 
smiled upon the maiden and blessed her. And while he was talk 
ing to her his sons arrived with their horses and chariots, and Jacob 
arose and met them at the door, and they said to him, " We have 
joyful tidings for our father. Joseph, our brother, is still alive, and 
he is ruler over all the land of Egypt." Ibid. 



45" PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

When Judah s fair harper enchantingly spake 
Of Joseph s estate to the patriarch sire, 

She bade both her voice and her skill to awake, 
And sang the sweet strain to the sound of her lyre. 

See Israel listen ! PL s heart doth revive, 

The sight of the wagons, too, gladdens his eye ; 

Divine are the tidings ; Doth Joseph yet live? 
I will go down and see him," he saith, " ere I die. 1 

When wisdom and beauty unite in the song, 
And virtue ennobles the heart-thrilling strain, 

The angels themselves might the measure prolong, 
And heaven re-echo the golden refrain. 



AN APOCRYPHAL BEAUTY JUDITH. 

She rose where she had fallen down, and called her maid, and 
went down into the house in which she abode in the Sabbath-days, 
and in her feast days. 

And she pulled off the garments of her widowhood, and washed 
her body all over with water, and anointed herself with precious 
ointment, and braided the hair of her head, and put on a tire upon 
it, and put on her garments of gladness, wherewith she was clad 
during the life of Manasee her husband. 

And she took sandals upon her feet, and put about her her 
bracelets, and her chains, and her ear-rings, and all her ornaments, 
and decked herself bravely, to allure the eyes of all men that should 
see her. 

Then there was a concourse throughout all the camp : for her 
coming was noised among the tents, and they came about her as 
she stood without the tent of Holoferness, till they told him of her. 

And they wondered at her beauty, and admired the children of 
Israel because of her ; and every one said to his neighbor, " Who 



BEAUTIES. 457 

would despise this people that have among them such women ? 
Surely it is not good that one man of them be left, who, being let 
go, might deceive the whole earth." 

And they that lay near Holoferness went out, and all his ser 
vants, and they brought her into the tent. 

Now, Holoferness rested upon his bed, under a canopy which 
uas woven with purple, and gold, and emeralds, and precious 
stones. 

So they shewed him of her ; and he came out before his tent, 
with silver lamps going before him. 

And when Judith was come before him and his servants, they 
all marvelled at the beauty of her countenance ; and she fell down 
upon her face, and did reverence unto him ; and his servants took 
her up. 

And Holoferness took great delight in her, and drank more 
wine than he had drunk at any time in one day since he was born. 
ApocrypJia. 

A SCRIPTURAL BEAUTY ESTHER. 

If Asenath, Joseph s noble bride, was the pearl of Egypt, truly 
Esther was the lily of Sushan which name itself signifies a lily. 
She is called both Hadassah, a myrtle, and Esther (from Estera/t. 
Greek) a star ; and was "a maid fair and beautiful," whose appear 
ance at court was as if a new star had arisen upon the royal hori 
zon, " and the keeper of women preferred her and her maids unto 
the best place of the house of women." 

" Her pious deeds," says the Talmud, " ceased only with her 
life, and her beauty was equalled only by her spiritual qualities." 

Both ever-green myrtle and bright beaming star, 
Her virginal glory decks history s pages ; 

Mid fragrance and beauty she shines from afar, 
The pride of the Hebrew and pearl of the ages. 



45S PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

BEAUTY IN AGE. 

\ 

As the clear light is upon the holy candlestick, so is the beauty 
of the face in ripe age. Apociypha. 

"History is full of the accounts of the fascinations of women 
who were no longer young. Thus Pericles wedded Aspasia when 
she was thirty-six, and yet she afterwards, for thirty years or more, 
wielded an undiminished reputation for beauty. Cleopatra was 
past thirty when Anthony fell under her spell, which never lessened 
until her death, nearly ten years later, and Livia was thirty-three 
when she won the heart of Augustus, over whom she maintained 
her ascendancy to the last. Anne of Austria was thirty-eight when 
she was described as the handsomest queen of Europe, and when 
Buckingham and Richelieu were her jealous admirers. Ninon dc 
1 Enclos, the most celebrated wit and beauty of her day, was the 
idol of three generations of the golden youth of France, and she was 
seventy-two when the Abbe de Bernis fell in love with her. Cath 
arine of Russia was thirty-three when she seized the Empire of 
Russia, and captivated the dashing young Gen. Orloff Up to the 
time of her death (at sixty-seven) she seems to have retained the 
same bewitching powers, for the lamentations were heartfelt among 
all those who had ever known her personally. Madame Mars only 
attained the zenith of her beauty and power between forty and 
forty-five." 

"The love that cheers life s latest stage, 

Proof against sickness and old age, 

Preserved by virtue from declension 

Becomes not weary of attention ; 

But lives, when that exterior grace 

Which first inspired the flame, decays." 

The hoary head is a crown of glory, if it be found in the way of 
righteousness. Bible. 







3/Larriage Etiquette. 




OR whether the term of courtship may have been long 
or short according to the requirements of the case 
the time will at last arrive for fixing the day. While 
it is the gentleman s province to press for the earliest 
possible opportunity, it is the lady s privilege to name the 
happy day ; not but that the bridegroom-elect must, after 
all, issue the fiat, for he has much to consider and prepare for be 
forehand ; for instance, to settle where it will be most convenient to 
spend the honeymoon a point which must depend on the season 
of the year, on his own vocation, and other circumstances. At this 
advanced state of affairs, we must not overlook the important ques 
tion of the bridal trousseau and the wedding presents. Wedding 
presents must be sent always to the bride, never to the bridegroom, 
though they may be given by friends of the latter. They should 
be sent during the week previous to the wedding day, as it is cus 
tomary to display them before the ceremony. 

Two cards folded in the invitation in the envelope are sent with 
the wedding invitation. The invitation is in the name of the bride s 
mother, or, if she is not living, the relative or friend nearest the 

bride, thus : 

MRS. NICHOLAS RUTH 

AT HOME, 
Tuesday, Novejnber i8th, 

FROM II TILL 2 O CLOCK. 

No. 86 W. 47TH STREET. 

461 



PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

The two cards, one large and one small, are folded in this invi 
tation. Upon the large card is engraved : 

MR. AND MRS. W. F. JOHNSON 
On the smaller one : 

MISS ROSSIE RUTH. 

If the young people " receive" after their return from the bridal 
tour, and there is no wedding-day reception, the following card is 
sent out: 

MR. AND MRS. W. F. JOHNSON 

AT HOME, 
Thursday, December 28tJi, 

FROM II TILL 2 O CLOCK. 

No. 50 E. 63 RD STREET. 

Or: 

MR. AND MRS. \V. F. JOHNSON 

AT HOME, 

Thursdays in December, 

FROM I I TILL 2 O CLOCK. 

No. 50 E. 63RD STREET. 

The bridal calls arc not expected to be returned until the last 
day of reception. 

The bridegroom gives to the first groomsman the control ot the 
ceremony and money for the necessary expenses. The first 
groomsman presents the boquet to the bride, leads the visitors up 
to the young couple for the words of congratulation, gives the 
clergyman his fee, engages the carriages, secures tickets, checks 



MARRIAGE ETIQUETTE. 463 

>, secures pleasant -eats, if the happy pair start by rail for 
the " moon ;" and, in short, makes all arrangements. 

If the wedding takes place in the church, the front scats in the 
body of the church are reserved for the relatives of the young 
couple. The bride must not be kept waiting. The clergyman 
should be within the rails, the bridegroom and groomsmen should 
be in the vestry-room by the time the bride is due at the church. 
The bridesmaids should receive the bride in the vestibule. 

The bridal party meet in the vestry-room. Then the bride, 
leaning on the arm of her father, leads the procession ; the bride 
groom, with the bride s mother upon his arm, follows ; the grooms 
men and bridesmaids in couples follow. 

At the altar the bridegroom receives the bride, and the ceremony 
begins. The groomsmen stand behind the bridegroom, the brides 
maids behind the bride. In some churches, the bride and bride 
groom remove the right hand glove ; in others it is not considered 
essential. The bride stands on the left of the groom. 

When the wedding takes place at the house of the bride, the 
bridal party is grouped behind folding doors or curtains ere their 
friends see them. If, however, this is not convenient, they enter in 
the same order as in the church. 

The first bridesmaid removes the bride s left hand glove for the 
ring. 

After the ceremony the bride and groom go in the same car 
riage from the church to the house, or from the house to the railway 
depot or boat. 

The bride does not change her dress until she assumes her trav 
elling dress. Her wedding gown is worn at the breakfast. 

Friends of the family should call upon the mother of the bride 
during the two weeks after the wedding. 

Mourning must not be worn at a wedding. Even in the case 
of a widowed mother to either of the happy pair, it is customary to 
-v^ar sfrev, or some neutral tint 



464 PROPOSAL AND ESPOUSAL. 

It is no longer the fashion at a wedding or wedding reception 
to congratulate the bride ; it is the bridegroom who receives con 
gratulations ; the bride, wishes for her future happiness. The bride- 
is spoken to first. 

The day being fixed for the wedding, the bride s father 
now presents her with a sum of money for her trousseau, according 
to her rank in life. A few days previously to the wedding, presents 
are also made to the bride by relations and intimate friends, vary 
ing in amount and value according to their degrees of relationship 
and friendship such as plate, furniture, jewelery, and articles of 
ornament, as well as utility, to the newly-married lady in her future 
station. These, together with her wedding dresses, etc., it is cus 
tomary to exhibit to the intimate friends of the bride a day or two 
before her marriage. 

The bridegroom-elect has, on the eve of matrimony, no little 
business to transact. His first care is to look,aftera house suitable 
for his future home, and then, assisted by the taste of his chosen 
helpmate, to take steps to furnish it in a becoming style. He must 
also, if engaged in business, make arrangements for a month s ab 
sence ; in fact, bring together all matters into a focus, so as to be 
readily manageable when, after the honeymoon, he shall take the 
reins himself. He will do well to burn most of his bachelor letters, 
and to part with, it may be, some few of his bachelor connections ; 
and he should communicate, in an easy, informal way, to his ac 
quaintances generally, the close approach of so important a change 
in his condition. Not to do this might hereafter lead to inconven 
ience and cause no little annoyance. 

It is the gentleman s business to buy the ring. It should be, we 
need scarcely say, of the very purest gold, but substantial. There 
are three reasons for this : first thai it may not break ; secondly, 
that it may not slip off the finger without being missed ; and third 
ly, that it may last out the lifetime of the loving recipient, even 
should that life be protracted to the extreme extent. 



^] index. 



Abraham and Hagar 392 

Achsah, Caleb s daughter 257 

ADAM 

Creation of 229 

Double of 236 

Impressions on seeing Eve 29 

Ribs of 233 

Story of. 234 

Sleep of. 231 

Trance of 233 

Afghanistan, Marriage in 146 

Affection, Pure flame of 29 

Age, Beauty in 458 

Age, Coming of. 202-205 

Alacrity, the lad s 34 

Alacrity, Love s 30 

Albert, Prince 55 

Alexander 199 

Alexandrian Christians 282 

Alexis 177 

Alfonso 55 

Alone 159 

Antichrist 245 

Antipater 200 

Arab Lady, The 301 

Aristobulus 199 

Aristotle 72 

Armenian Wedding * 268 

Asenath 457 

4G7 



468 

Aspasia 45 8 

Athenian Laws 202-203 

Athenian Virgins 281 

Autumn Wedding Styles 258 

BACHELORS 

Amiable g^ 

Among Antediluvians none 88 

Advice to j ^ 

Averse to Matrimony 76 

Beau gg 

Dry Subject, The . . . . . . . 75 

Harp out of tune, The 79 

Less serviceable than the married men 77 

Liberty of. IO4 

Nature Teaching the 84 

Not a Family Man 53 

Statistics of g^ 

Surplus of 50 

Taxing the 80 

The Wise 9 6 

Woes of the ! IO 

Bacon l g l 

Bears, Domestic.. . oc-> 

BEAUTV- 

Alluring Nature of 440 

American 41-4 

Apocryphal 456 

Catching as Fire 447 

Corrupting Influence of 447 

English 452 

Fascination of AAC 

Gift of God, The I... . . . . . . . . . . . . . 442 

Hebrew Children of. 442 

Justice blind-folded against. . A-> 

Like Wit ... . . . . . . 444 

Majesty of. 444 

Mission of. ^; 49-45 5 

Outward form of 439 

Proverbs concerning 442 

Requirements of ^ 448 

Spark of. 444 



INDEX. 

Scriptural 457 

Traditional 454 

Virtue best promoter of 449 

Vanity of. 445 

Worse than Wine 147 

Beulah 

Beginning, God the 

Beginnings, Wrong, of Wedded Life 

Belle, The Village 

Belles, The Karenn 

Benevolence and One Leg 

BLUSHING Arab Lady s, 301 ; Artificial, 301 ; Bride con 
cealing the, 298 ; Chastity s, 299 ; Cheek kindling the, 
299 ; Color of, 301 ; Conscious Water, 302; The cream 
of modesty, 300 ; Of swarthy nations, 301 ; Nature s 
alarm, 300; None in Paradise, 301; Philosophy of, 298 ; 
of holy shame, 300 ; Virtue s, 300 ; Vice s.. . 

BETROTHAL Athenian, 202 ; American, 196; Canadian, 
175; Chinese, 196; Consent of parents required in, 
205 ; Death-bed, 185 ; Early, 192 ; English, 193 ; 
French, 194; Grecian, 170; Hindoo, 200 ; Japanese, 
198 ; Jewish, 180; For political purposes, 199 ; Spartan, 

Bridal party 

BRIDE, The, 237 ; At the wedding, 463 ; Bed of the, 219 ; 
Chamber of the, 242 ; Chariot of the, 219 ; Crier sent 
for the, 268 ; Crown of the, 274 ; Departure of the, i8( 
269 ; Divorce seeking, 145 ; Entrance of to marri 
age service, 314 ; Jacob s, 30; King s daughter, 213- 
216 ; Lifting over the threshold of the, 272 ; In church, 
463 ; Miser and the, 390 ; Of an hour, 144 ; Stubborn, 
248 ; The earth a 

Bridesmaid 

BRIDEGROOM Bride prompting the, 247 ; Cabinet Mil 
ter the, 248 ; Congratulating the, 464 ; Creeling the, 
Eccentric, 246 ; Heavenly, 212 ; Pre-nuptial duties of, 
461 ; Receiving the bride, 463 ; Ridiculous, 248 ; The 
sun a 2 9 

Bridemen 

Brawn, Fanny 

Burleigh, Lord 

Caleb.. 257 



470 INDEX. 

Castor and Pollux . j -q 

CELIBATE Meaning of, 85 ; Ascetic, 103 ; Famous, 102 ] 

Liberty of the IO4 

Celibates, Advice to " ^9 

Celibacy favorable to authorship I2 2 

Charlemagne j55 

Choice, Bolingbroke s ^ I 

Chrysostom IO2 

Cleon .. H i 
CLERGYMAN Blundering, 246 ; Cannot marry himself, 

248 ; Impostor, 249 ; Marriage of, 253 ; Ritualistic 246 

Cobbet l66 

Compliment, The fair 5 r 

Complying yet denying j^O 

Contented parents j^j 

Cooking ;,59-362 

Countess de Rochefort 148 

Courting on box wood rollers 173 

Courtship, legal, 172 ; Keeping up the 235 

Cromwell !^5 

Cuckoo, Ode to 91 

Cupid with wings igr 

DAUGHTERS, 124 ; Abbess of, 126 ; Brown s, 129 ; Caleb s, 
Charlemagne s, 166 ; Cromwell s, 166 ; How dispose 
of, 128 ; Landlord s, 97 ; North Carolina farmer s, 144 ; 

No relation so pure as, 124 ; Surpassing qualities of... 127 

Dove and Hawk s feather 398 

Driver, God the 35 

DRlviNG^Evan s, 37 ; Jehu s, 38 ; Sammy Hick s, 36 ; 
Methodist pioneer s, 37 : Spurgeon on, 37 ; Shunamitc 

woman s, 34 ; Toplady on 38 

Ecstacy, Adam s 233 

Effect effaced 67 

Elopement, Beau Brummel s 99 

Erasmus ! g 

Esther 457 

Etjquette of weddings 307 

Eunuch .... 88 

Eunuchs 95 

EYES Blue, 25 ; Black, 25 ; Covenanting with, 20 ; Dove s 
21 ; Drawing the spirits into, 22 ; Eloquence of, 20 ; 



471 

Hieroglyphical man s, 21; Inlets to the soul, 19; 
Keeping clean the, 22 ; Lascivious, 19 ; Light of 
heaven in the, 24 ; Looking forward with, 26 ; Love s, 
22 ; Magic-beaming, 25 ; Man s pre-eminence in, 20 ; 
Nebuchadnezzar s, 21 ; Serving the inward light, 20 ; 
Spheres of beauty, 24 ; Stars of night, 24 ; Swift glance 
of the, 20 ; Tenderest part 20 

Fair Jewess 33^ 

Fair libelling 223 

Fair Maidens 143 

Fall, The 234 

Fanny, Miss 44 

Figure, Classic requirements of. . . 44$ 

Flutes, Lydian 274 

Fop, The ioi 

Giant and Dwarf. 45 

GlRLS Italian, 40; Butterflies, 196; Chinese, 197 ; Judge 

Ingersoll s, 140; Mexican, 41 ; Philadelphia shop, 120; 

That little, 204 ; The man that has the buggy s, i 50 ; 

Why don t marry, 120: Young 154 

GRAPES Sour, 40. The sweetest the highest. . . 40 

Groves, Passion of. 85 

Hadassah 457 

HAIR Absalom s, 280. Embroidered forbidden, 278. 
Flaxen, 444. How parted, 278. Long not seemly 
for men, 279. Nazarite s nourishing the, 276. Plait 
ing a profession, 279. Presented at marriage, 279. 
Samson s, 280. Short not becoming to women... 279 

Head winds I 59 

Heart a harp out of tune 79 

Helpmeet 79 

^Hesitation 1 59 

*HOME A blessed word, 109. Building the, 105. French 

no word for 105 

Homeless . 107- 1 10 

HONEY Eating the, 340. Celebrated, 340. Dipping 

tongues in the, 340. Reward of merit... 340 

Honeycomb, Church s lips as 34 1 

HONEYMOON Andamanase spending of, 341. Continu 
ance of, 340. Origin of, 341. Pleasant associations 
in . 341 



472 INDEX. 

Hope companion of youth 160 

Hope, a bright messenger 243 

HUSBAND Called so on betrothal, 342. Cooking of, 359. 
Cooking for, 360. Head of the house, 342. Manag 
ing of, 358. Meaning of. 342 

Husbands and wives, 342. Mutual duties of. 344 

Hymeneus and Hymeneal 373 

Hymns anc 1 Hymens 3/3 

Hymcttus 34 

Idolatries of love 63 

Inconstancy 161 

Indifference -. . . 3^7 

Iron Egg . 293 

Jacob 33 

Judith... 456 

Karcnus, The 1 7 

Kissam, M iss 43 2 

KISSING, 415. Bible, 435. Book of Law, 426. Charity s 
431. Child s, 421-426. Church s, 430. Clements, 431. 
Compounds with. 432. Convention s, 430. Divine 
spouse s, 423. Economy in, 427. Fairy, 435. First 
Historic, 416. Frenchman s, 422. Homage and, 420. 
Horses and, 421. Hypocritical, 431. Jacob s, 417. 
Marriage fee, 429. Men disliking, 418. Millais pic 
ture of, 421. On the mouth, 421. Peace, 431. Poli 
tical, 429. Promise, 425. Oueen s,4i9- Stolen,434. 
Threshold, 428. Too common, 417. Traitor s, 431. 
Universal custom of, 432-434. Various kinds of, 418. 
World wide custom of. 4 T 5 

Living, Stylish H9 

LOVE Alacrity of, 30. Always in season, 192. Better 
than gifts, 26. Better than knowledge, 26. Better 
than Latin, 26. Blind, 129. Breath of, 85. Chariot 
eer, a, 34-38. Child a, 385. Comfort of, 27. Conju 
gal, 21. Coyness of, 39. Dead, 388. Died to prove 
his, 52. Driving of, 34-38. Ecstasy of, 29. Essence 
of, 72. Expulsive power of, 27. False lights of, 66. 
First dream of, 44. Flame of, 29. Giant, 3X5. A 
giant power, 28. God author of, 20. Good, 21. Holy 
influence of, 27-29. Idolatries of, 69. Ill, 21. Kin;;- 



INDEX. 473 

dom of contrasts rules, 171. Lilies and, 62. Love 
and, 47. Man s measure, 70. Man s weight, 70. A 
marshall, 32. Melody of, 85. Mission of, 25. The 
root of creation, 21. Roses and, 55-63. Security 
lacking of, 43. Slighted, 385. Soul of, 85. Spring 
of, 43, Romantic story of, 41. Subject of to ague fits, 
48. Surviving all things else, 29. Telephone and, 69. 
Wedded, 231, 235. Woman s, 385. Vagaries of, 49- 
54. Volume of, 28. Yoke easy of, 28. Young 
dream of 

LOVE-MAKING All men original in, 166-173. Beasts, 
birds, domestic fowl and fish in 

LOVERS One-eyed, 66. One-legged 

Madam Bubble and Christian 

MAIDENS 113. Authors, 123. Characteristic, 119. Fam 
ous, 121. Friendly warning to, 155. Playing the 
gridiron, 156. Hermit and the, 116. Increase of, i 15. 
Man and the, 182. Modern, 157. Spanish, 177. 

Song of the 

MISS Meaning of, 131. Fanny, 44. Elizabeth Marriot, 
119. Nigi tingale, 131. St. Pierre 

MARRIAGE An aid to citizenship, 72. Boat, 231. Bond 
331. Ancient, 333. Classic Bond, 141. Virtue best, 
232. Divine, 212-220. Dowry, 334. Dowry bill, 
334. Eccentric, 250. Equal marry thy, 141. 
love, 153. Honorable, 225. Honorable in Greece, 
223. Incidental, 324. Jewish song, 335. Life sen 
tence saved by, 144. Lottery, 146. Mock, 326-32^ 
Playing at, 325. Provident wisdom in, 148. Reasons 
trivial for, 142-148. Septuagenarian, 324. Through 
a dream, 323. Wine becoming sour in the ;-. . 

MARRIAGE CEREMONIES Armenian, 268. Druidical, 
315. Grecian, 269. Hindostanic, 266. Jewish, 266. 
Moravian, 318. Polish, 322. Quaker, 318. Rhodian 
268. Tartar, 3 1 8. Twice performed .... 

Match-maker outwitted 

Match-making, Royal 

Mathematical chances 

Mathematical colloquy... 

Matrimonial market 

Melancthon, Philip 



474 

Mercy s decision ...................... ! ^ t 

Mercy and Mr. Brisk 



Moon, Looking at the ................................. 40 

Moses and the Ethiopian woman ...................... 393 

Moth and candle .................................... 398 

Mouse and lioness .................................. 405 

Multitude mixed .................................... 392 

Nicanor ............................................. ^3 

Nightingale and love ................................ 64 

Nightingale, Miss .................................... !3! 

Nightingales and cuckoo... oi 

Nod ................................ * 8 

"No," Saying... ............. i;5 

OIL Annointing with, 272. Perfumed, 172. Wine and 272 

Olivia., I4 8 

Pairing season ...................................... 3 1 

Parent s consent required ............................ 205 

Patience, Value of. .................................. 3-5 

Payne, John Howard ............................ IO 8 





......... 77 

Pots, Earthen and iron ............................... 405 

Poverty, Contented .................................... ^ 

PROPOSAL 165. Answer to, 170. Grimm s, 168. In 
dian s, 17. Jock s, 168. Karenn s, 168. Refusal of 
175. Scotch Beadle s, 168. Siberian s, 171. Steele s 
167. Too bashful for, 173. Westerner s, 254. White- 
field s, 167. Women permitted to, 176. Why women 
are not permitted to, 176. Women not allowed to, 
Unique, 172. Yes or No ......................... 173 

QUARRELS Domestic, 353. Foolish, 353. Queen Mer 

cedes and Infante Jaime, 382. Pleasant ............. 353 

Rachel ............................................. ^3 

Raleigh, Sir Walter .................................. ! ^ 2 

Ribs, Number of ................................. 233 

Rich woman ........................................ ! 4 ! 

Rich and poor ...................................... j ^ ! 

Riding, Slack not thy ................................ 34 



INDEX. 475 

RINGS Alexander s, 285. Buying- the, 464. Mathemati 
cal colloquy on the, 284. Corcud s, 297. Charlemagne 
and the, 284. Design of, 282. Death, 289. Engage 
ment, spurious, 287. Evening, 291. How the hand 
went through a, 284. Glove removed for, 464. Lionc s 
dame s, 297. Lost, 293. Newton s dream, 287. Not 
to be forced, 283. Posies, 295. Prince and the, 273. 
Queen Caroline s, 286. Royal love, 290. Significance 
of the, 286. Test, 289. Thrift, 292. Virgin s 297. 
Virtue s, 217. Ancient wedding, 292. Weekly, 291. 
Why placed on the left hand 183 

ROSES Bitterest, 63. Death and the, 57. Fairest, 63. 
Fate and the, 57. Joy s, 60. Lady and the, 57. Love 
and the, 55. Men must gather the, 77. Plucked, 60. 
Red, 55. Sharon s, 61. Three, 55. Tomb and the... 58 

Samson and Delilah 374 

Season, Pairing 3 l 

Scrach 455 

SHOE Bride s, 338. Bridegroom s, 338. Eastern widow s, 

339. Where pinches 339 

Sleep, Adam s 

Slip betwixt cup and lip 

SPINSTERS Meaning of, 114. Famous, 121. Increase 

of H5 

Steele, Richard 167 

St. Paul 102 

Taileth, The 

Taxing bachelors 80 

Tempter, Incarnate 7 2 

TJiali 266 

Themistocles and daughter H 2 

Thistle and cedar 37 2 

Thackwaite, Miss 2 5 

Vice a deformity 45 

Vice darkens the countenance 449 

Virgins in harness 1 3 2 

Virtue before riches I4 2 

Virtue brightening the face 449 

Virtue a rejuvenator 45 J 



4/6 INDF.X. 

Walpole, Horace Q , 

Walpoliana ^ 

Wandering, Place of. 73 

Waywardness, Human I2 g 

Weather 

WEDDED Devotion, 235. Harmony, 236. Love, 236. 

Oneness 

WEDDINGS Blessing cup at, 309. Characteristic, 314. 
Brooklyn, 252. Druidical, 315. Cards of, 461. Gypsy, 
Indian, 318. Moravian, 316. Palmer-Nevada, 314. 
Polish, 322. Quaker, 316. Tartary, 317. Through 
a dream, 323. When three Sundays came together, 
320. Cheer, 302-397. Christ at the, 307. Doorposts 
anointed at the, 271. Expensive, 273. Festivities of 
the, 273-275. Garment, 243. Man without, 243. Gods 
propitiated at, 280. Governor of the, 307. Great 
personages at the, 319. Horseback, 241. Iceberg, 
54. Mammoth Cave, 239. Mock, 326. Playing at 
325. Platform. 251. Presents at the, 257. Shoe/337. 

Virgin at the, 311. Wine at the ; . ^ O 2 

Wedlok, Advantages of... T T n 

Wedlok, Key of ] . . . . . . . . . 

Well and Weasel T v> 7 

\Vhitefield .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 167 

Witness Galead j c>j 

WIFE A better half. 235. Best helper, 230. Choosing a 
139. Classic choice of a, 145. Cobbct s, 1 66. Dorian s, 
343. Goldsmith s, 148. Good, 153. Good thing, 343. 
Grace of a, 222. Half sister a, 364. Home, 342. 
Husband s name taking the, 229. Ionian s, 343. 
Little, 226. Man s best part, 222. Pope s defence of, 

23. Prudent, 343, Sister the, 363. Weaver the... . 342 
WOMAN Sooner marriageable than man, 203. Glory of 
man the, 77. Lot of, 386. Love of, 386. Strong- 
minded, 123. Virtuous, 77. Wayward J2 

YOKE, EQUAL The, 382. Becoming unequal 37^ 

YOKE, UNEQUAL, 369. Affection unrequited in the, 384. 
Balak s stumbling block and the, 393. Birds, beasts, 
and insects avoiding the, 373. Business and the, 371. 
Cain s marriage and the, 400 Cainitcs, Sethites and 
the, 377. Crowns bowing to the, 381. Forbidden, 



INDEX. 477 

370. Grecian Law respecting the, 377. Kings 
guarding against the, 397. Knox and the, 397. 
Princess of Meriningen and the, 382. Sin the devil s 

405. Sundry alliances under the 39 2 

Yoke, Unhallowed 409-412 

YOUTH Advice to, 19. Age and the, 389. Ancient 

proverbs for, 98. Buoyancy of, 1 60. Morning of... .. 160 

Xantippe 

Zeno 

Zion, Daughter of. 

Zipporah 

Zone, Maiden s 

Zorobabel 49 




And, ah ! forgive a stranger rude 1 16 

Alas for human fate 262 

A blushing cheek speaks modest mind 300 

A holy dervise once a crystal cup 349 

Alexis calls me cruel 177 

A lily cup was growing 62 

And this shonld be the bridal day 264 

Arrayed in glittering white 212 

Averse to all the troubles of a wife 76 

A wife s a man s best piece 223 

Believe me if all 46 

Bright is the froth of an Eastern wave 44 

But this the rugged savage 106 

Cleon hath a million acres 141 

Dearest, sweetest, fondest, best 208 

Deep down in the slush 293 

Do shadows of the days 272 

Do you ever play 356 

Dost thou idly ask 192 

Few have learnt to speak 178 

Gallant and tall 53 

478 



INDEX. 479 

He sleeps on her knees 280 

He was a robust man 1 33 

His heart is a harp out of tune 79 

Home, how that blessed word IO 9 

Husbands and wives 

I breathe in the face 

I d like a wife 226 

I dreamed I saw 4 

I saw them through the churchyard go 39 l 

I see a spirit 

Look on the placid water 1 20 

Love s eyes are dove s eyes 

Love like the nightingale 65 

Love me, love, but 39 

Magic, wonder-beaming eye 

Man s other helpers come and go 

Marriage is born of the skies 221 

Miss Fanny in a dream 44 

My bonds are fast 5^ 

My muse in pleasant mood 422 

O, eyes which do the spheres 24 

O, leave the gay round of thy pleasure 39$ 

On me he shall ne er put a ring 284 

O, pleasant is beauty 44 

On the tramp with a bag on my back 162 

O, ye companions, list to me 213 

Pray call me a pretty name 1 56 

Pure, sweet, serene 24 

Save your kisses for your husband 428 

Shall things that creep, mope, sing or fly 87 

She plucked a rose and idly pulled 60 

She sits in an elegant parlor 157 



4 SO INDEX 

She standeth blushing by his side 237 

So goes the world j r l 

Some wicked wits have libelled all the fair 223 

Sweet and solemn fall the accents 187 

Sweet girl you know 249 

Take root somewhere IO * 

The city swarms intense IO i 

The glancing blade IO ^ 

The lane, the lane, the winding lane 88 

The primal duties shine !^ 2 

The red rose says, " Be sweet," 56 

The senses God has given 10 

The shepherd came down from the creffel steep 353 

The tomb said to the rose above 58 

There is a love that only lives 47 

There was a time, fond girl, when you 45 

They have no wine, she said 303 

They say the brunettes are arch coquettes 146 

Thou gorgeous, glittering thing 39 ! 

Two travellers started on a tour 406 

We are face to face, and between us here 388 

Whate er may chance us on the way ^4 

When first the soul of love 85 

When age weddeth age why should we complain 324 

When loving meets loathing, aversion, desire 387 

When maiden blushes could make no pretence 276 

When the fugitive Cain from the presence of God 404 

Why should I blush 299 

Wilt thou go with this man j 88 

Work is with enjoyment rife ! 28 

Would you find the fairest flower 61